Smooth as Silk

As I have previously shared, last Friday night and the weekend were very special for Barry and me.  It all began on Friday night when we entered into our weekly ritual of making sure Barry was well shaved between waist and min-thigh.  It is always a fun time for me, because it gives me a wonderful opportunity to tease and play with him.

Usually, I expect him to do as much as he can.  I then join him in the shower to complete the task.  However, this week, I joined him immediately.  That caught him off guard, which I loved.  I don't want to go into to too many details.  However, suffice it to say, we had a lot of fun as I immediately began to lather up his upper torso and started shaving!  It provided the opportunity for lots of teasing and sharing. Needless to say, I also made it clear that he had to control himself, which he did.

I also now love the smooth look all over his body.  I had previously loved the lines of demarcation at his waist and mid thigh.  However, this is an entirely new look, which is very sexy to me.  It provides some much needed new excitement to me (and I think for Barry, as well)

Susan

A Wonderful Weekend

It has been a very busy weekend and I am quickly running out of energy this evening.  However, given the turmoil that I have shared with everyone in the recent past, I need to at least take the time to share that Barry and I had a very special day and evening on Friday, as well as quality time over the weekend.  The two new toys got put to use.  So for those who have been asking for reviews, I will try to find time to share more details sometime before Christmas.  However, no promises.  There are mixed reviews on each of them.

I would like to wish joyousness to everyone.  Barry and I happen to celebrate Christmas and want to wish the joy of that season to each of you who find meaning in that celebration.  However, we also realize that you may have some other belief, or none at all.  Whatever, the case may be, we want to wish you joy and happiness in your lives. To us, the most important thing is that we find joy and love in working together.  Individual beliefs are only a vehicle in achieving that goal.

Susan

Moving Forward

Barry and I have been having a very good week.  He is working late this evening, so I thought I would take a few minutes to share an update and some of my thoughts.

Barry seems to be letting go of much of his anger with respect to Joan (for which I am very thankful).  The birthday weekend brought out a number of dynamics between the two of them that he had never shared with me.  However, after a number of long discussions between the two of us, I think he is coming to terms with them.  I must confess that I feel like I had a very boring childhood (for which I am very thankful).  However, even though he is coming to terms with it, I am going to be careful about when when meet again with Joan and what happens at that meeting.

For the immediate future, I'm feeling a need to strengthen what happens between Barry and me.  I want him to feel safe with me (without the presence of Joan), and I also want to make sure I maintain control.  If I could get to that point of a discussion with him, I suspect that he would share those goals, since I have seen that he loves me to maintain control.  However, there I feel that there are still some aspects of his relationship with Joan that he has not shared.  Consequently, I feel like I am still flying blindly to some degree.  I really wish he could verbalize more with me.

I'm planning to make tomorrow night a fun night for the two of us.  But, I also want to make sure I maintain control.  So, I'm thinking about providing a night of teasing and providing him with a very rewarding orgasm, along with expanding my control.  Friday night is our customary night to make sure he maintains shaving from his waist to mid-thigh.  It has become customary for him to shave what he can see and for me to handle more intimate areas.  We both have grown to love the latter.  It has become fun for both of us in our large walk-in shower and it provides me with a great opportunity to provide a tease and denial situation.

Since we are now into colder weather in the Northeast when Barry always wears long-sleeve shirts and long pants, I would love to shave him completely.  That would feel very sexy to me and it would also allow me to maintain and expand control.  Given the weather, it would also assure that no one else would know about what we are doing.

I have to also confess that I am still waiting to use the RealDoe that arrived a week ago.  After last weekend, I want to be careful about how and when I bring that out.  I suspect it may not happen for a while.  I am also aware that after this weekend, our opportunity to "play " will be reduced for a while, since we have two children coming home for the holidays.

Susan

Sorting it Out ... and a Punishment Spanking

After the Patriots game yesterday, Joan called.  Barry refused to talk with her, but she and I had a very constructive conversation.  She was very saddened by Barry's reaction and didn't mean to ruin the evening.  I shared with her my frustration that she had basically hijacked the evening from me and took over, and she apologized.  I don't think she really meant to take things over, but her enthusiasm got a bit out of hand.  We each came to the conclusion that Barry must have just found the reality of his fantasy much more humiliating than he ever imagined it could be when he shared it with me.

After I got off the phone, Barry continued to mope around and feel sorry for himself.  He didn't even want to listen to what Joan had said or the fact that she was sorry.  I tried to have a discussion with him during dinner about what happened the night before.  However, he was having no part of listening and didn't want to hear that Joan and I both felt badly, that we didn't mean for it to be so devastating for him, and that we had really only provided what he had described to me as one of his favorite fantasies.  We thought we were doing a good thing for his birthday.

When we got ready for bed he was still whining when I told him it was time to put his device back on (I had allowed him to keep it off again on Sunday, thinking it might help the day go better).  When he lowered his pants to allow me to lock him up again, it was apparent from the precum stains in his panties that he had been aroused quite a bit during the day.  He then had the bad timing of asking me if he could have an orgasm.  That pushed the wrong buttons with me after having listened to him whine all day.  I sort of flipped out and told him   that I was so tired of his whining that he was going to get something to whine about ... a serious punishment spanking.

He knew what that meant and he immediately tried to change his tune.  However, it was too late.  I then marched him into the bathroom where I plugged in my Hitachi and held it against his erect penis that was still within his panties.  I held it in place until he began to climax and immediately shut it off, letting his semen sort of ooze out of his penis.   I then dragged him back to the bedroom where I tied his hands wrists behind his back, laid him over a pillow on the bed, and then I took the bath brush to his bottom.  I administered what was probably one of the hardest paddlings I have ever given him.  I didn't bother to remove his panties, but they certainly didn't offer any protection from the brush.  When I finally let up, there were tears in his eyes as he crawled under the covers and went to sleep.

I felt badly about having lost my temper.  However, I was really fed up with all of the whining all day long.  This morning he seemed quite contrite and apologized to me for being awful all day yesterday.  During dinner he even agreed that he would talk with Joan and try to sort things out with her about Saturday.  He is on the phone with her as I compose this post.  Hopefully, they can resolve things together,because I am tired of the drama from both of them!

Susan

Can You Spot People?

Barry is still watching the Patriots, so I am continuing to ponder.

I have an interesting question. I am very active in a number of organizations that provide social services (which is one of the reasons why I have to be careful about how much I reveal about myself).  I have been very aware of a member of a committee which I chair in one of these organizations.  I have noticed that when she comes to meetings, she is dressed in black business suits, which seems a bit out of context in today's northern New England culture, even for work. A week ago her husband joined her at a social function.  I had never met him before.  He seemed a bit 'mousey'.  I suspect you know where I am going with this.  Since I wanted to welcome him, I engaged him in conversation.  He volunteered that he provides his wife with 'breakfast in bed'.  He later made a comment about her being "high maintenance".  I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I suspect that he was a very submissive husband.

I am beginning to wonder if we can begin to recognize individuals who share our type of relationships?

Has anyone else had this type of experience?

Susan

A Birthday Spanking Gone Wrong

We arrived home a little after 1 PM today, much earlier than I expected.  Barry is watching the Patriots game. and I have decided to use this time to share the results of last night, which turned out to be a much more intense evening than I had planned.  I'm still trying to digest what happened and trying to figure out how to proceed forward as a family.

I suspect that I should first provide a little more background, and then try to go forward from there.

After our little family secret was revealed to Barry's sister Joan, one of the first thoughts that entered my head was several conversations that Barry and I had when I first learned of his fascination with being spanked.  When we were reviewing his extensive photo collections, I gained huge insights into his various fantasies.  One of his favorites was being spanked by two women and/or being embarrassed by being spanked in front of another woman.  At that time, I never dreamed that we would ever consider experiencing that type of situation.  However, Barry's sister's knowledge of his being spanked and the fact that she spanks her life partner changed all of that.  It brought some interesting ideas to my mind.

During one of our early phone conversations, I gathered the courage to share Barry's fantasies in this area with her and some of my ideas.  We quickly settled on the idea of meeting at their parents' former home this weekend to work on cleaning it out and to celebrate Barry's birthday (which was Saturday).  This would provide an ideal setting to implement our plan, which would include Joan and I jointly administering a birthday spanking/paddling to Barry over his panties in front of Joan's partner, Carol.  We made our arrangements and Barry never suspected that this weekend would be other than  a time to work together on the house and celebrate his birthday.

We all arrived at the house early Saturday morning and worked until about 5 PM going through the family possessions, figuring out what to do with them as the parents enter this new phase of their life.  We had previously agreed that we would all go out to dinner to celebrate Barry's birthday and that we could come back to the house to enjoy a birthday cake baked by Joan.  As we showered and got ready to go to dinner, I released Barry from his device, as a bit of a birthday present to him.  Of course, he seemed quite pleased.  But, I then told him that in return, I wanted him to 'dress up' for me, which meant wearing a new pair of white sheer panties, along with a garter belt and stockings.  He quickly agreed, which told me that he didn't suspect anything.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we found ourselves seated at a rectangular table, two on each side.  I ended up sitting next to Barry, which gave me the opportunity let my hand wander under the table and tease him a bit.  His reaction was priceless, and I'm sure that Joan (and maybe Carol) were somewhat aware of what I was doing.  There were several smiles from Joan that I wasn't sure how to interpret.

We had a delightful dinner and progressed back to the house to share Joan's cake and presents to Barry.  According to our plan, Joan and I each delivered the same gift, a "Spanking Buddy" (see previous post).  However, mine was opened second and included a note to Barry that he would receive a very special birthday spanking from Joan and me, using the two "Spanking Buddies" in front of Carol.

After the cake was cut and enjoyed, Joan carried two dining room chairs into the living room and then invited the rest of us to join her.  As I look back on it, this should have been a clue that Joan planned to hijack my plans for the evening, since we had not talked about doing this.  When we walked in the living room, Joan directed me to the chair I should sit in and she directed Carol to sit on the sofa.    The chairs were very close together facing each other and each containing a Spanking Buddy.  As Joan joined me,she alternated her legs with mine, which provided a very broad lap over which Barry would lie.  Carol seated herself on the sofa, which provided her a direct view of Barry's face after he would be over our laps.  Joan then ordered Barry to come to her left side and to lower his trousers.  At that point, a look came over his face that told me he suddenly remembered that he was wearing a garter belt and stockings.  I had planned that, but I didn't plan for the drama that Joan was providing.

As Barry lowered his trousers, it was quite clear to all of us that he was erect, which Joan quickly pointed out to all of us.  She then pulled him over our laps and told him that he was in for a very special birthday spanking.    She completely took charge at this point and informed him that she and I would each deliver s spank with the Spanking Buddies, and that the two of them would count as one.  She also directed Carol to count after each of the two spanks were delivered.  Joan and I had previously planned that we would each mirror each others spanks in location and intensity.  However, I had planned to take the lead.  Joan didn't allow me that opportunity.  She quickly delivered a firm spank to the cheek closest to her and I mirrored it.  Carol then counted "one".  Joan continued, moving up and down his bottom.  The spanks were all firm, but not as hard as I had planned for Barry.  I now suspect that this was done purposely by Joan.

When we reached Barry's magic number, Barry quickly stood up and started to turn away.  Joan quickly stopped him.  She said something like "Whoa, I'm not done yet.  I think you've been enjoying this too much".  She pulled him back to face me and Carol.  It was apparent that he was fully erect, which Joan quickly pointed out. She then told him to that she planned to give him her own birthday spanking, since she always wanted to pay him back for the aggravation he gave her as the "little brother".  She pulled him back over our laps and proceeded to spank him with an intensity and speed that was amazing.  I was taken completely by surprise and am very sorry to say that I didn't stop it.  However, in my defense, I confess that I was feeling like Joan was providing a very realistic version of Barry's ideal fantasy

When she stopped and told Barry to get up, she pointed out to all of us that his erection was completely gone.  Barry was humiliated, and quickly disappeared to the bedroom and I quickly followed.  This was clearly not what I wanted for the evening.  We had a long discussion about what happened and what it was like growing up with her.

This morning was very tense.  We had a quick breakfast together.  Barry and Joan were each very quiet.  Carol and I tried to make conversation.  Joan seemed to try to apologize, blaming her intensity on too much wine during dinner.  Barry couldn't quite deal with it all.  I suspect that Carol and I were each realizing that a lot of emotion had been released between an older sister and younger brother last night, but couldn't fully understand or deal with it.

I suspect that Joan and I need to have a very long conversation before the two siblings can get together again.

Families are challenging.

Susan

Two New Toys Arrived

Since learning that Barry's sister and I have a good deal in common with respect to handling our partners, we have had several lengthy telephone conversations that included discussions of a wide variety of topics.  During our first conversation she recommended two new toys that I immediately ordered and they arrived today.  Barry doesn't know that I ordered them, so they will be a complete surprise to him.  I hope to put the first one to use on Saturday night.  Joan, Carol, Barry and I will be spending Saturday night in the family home, which we are now working to clean out and get ready to sell.  Saturday is also Barry's birthday, so Joan and I are planning a special surprise celebration for the birthday boy :-).

The first toy is a leather "Spanking Buddy" from Cane-iac.  Joan loves it and, after feeling it today, I am sure that I will as well.  I'm not sure that Barry will be as thrilled with it :-).  We both love hand spanking, but a little experimentation with it today revealed that it packs a very good impact and Joan raves about how much it saves her hand!  I can't wait to see his reaction to it, especially with what I have planned for Saturday night (more about that later).

Joan's second recommendation came after she learned that Barry and I have experimented with a strap-on.  She immediately told me that I must get a "Real-doe" dildo with a vibrator built in.  I had looked into the "Feel-doe" models before I bought a strap-on.  However, it seemed like it would be very hard and unrealistic.    Joan found the same thing about that original model, but she loves the realistic feel of the "Real-doe" and especially loves the sensations it provides to its wearer.  Since my current strap-on was purchased to be about the same size as Barry's penis, this is going to be a huge change for him.  I can't wait to try it out Sunday night after we return home.  I want to make this a very special occasion for both of us, so a little belated birthday gift seems to be appropriate.

In case you're wondering, Barry will not see this blog entry before this weekend.  He only reads my blog when we can do it together, in order for us to be able to discuss what he sees that I have written.  For obvious reasons, we won't find time to read it before this weekend :-).

Susan

Family Secrets Exposed

The past month or so has been extremely challenging, but also very rewarding.  Finding ways to provide care for their elderly parents brought Barry and his sister much closer together than they have been in many years.  They really worked well together as a team and each respected the opinions and talents of the other and put them to good use.  It also unexpectedly provided an opportunity for much more to be shared.

On the Saturday before Thanksgiving when we were moving Barry's parents to their new assisted living facility, we were all working at a frantic pace to move their most important possessions into their new apartment.  When the day was done, we all collapsed back at the family home and decided to order out for pizza and celebrate with beer and wine.  After several glasses of wine, Joan (Barry's sister) all of a sudden asked Barry why he is wearing women's panties!  We later learned that Barry had apparently retucked his shirt in at some point and got it between his panties and his body ... leaving his panties visible when he bent over to lift and carry things.  Barry was initially so surprised and shocked by the question that he didn't know what to say.  I tried to jump in and save the situation by saying that he does it because he knows I like to see his cute little bottom in nylon.  Unfortunately, Joan didn't let it drop at that and the amount of wine and beer we had consumed reduced a lot of our inhibitions.  Joan eventually directed Barry to drop his trousers so we could all see his cute little bottom.  Surprisingly, he immediately did.  That would have been fine except for the fact that his sheer nylon panties not only showed his bottom, but also clearly showed the outline his chastity device.

Joan immediately picked up on that and the conversation took on a whole new level, since the device couldn't be denied and there was no way to explain it away.  Before the evening was over, we all learned more about each other than we ever dreamed and probably ever wanted to learn.  One of the things I learned was that Joan, who is 5 years older than Barry, was very dominant with Barry during their childhood.  She is also the dominant partner in her long-term relationship with Carol, who was also part of the family team and present that evening.  It also eventually came out that I spank Barry and the Joan spanks Carol.

Needless to say, I suspect we all went to bed feeling very surprised and/or confused.  In the morning, we had breakfast and proceeded to pack up and head home without any further discussion.  When we came together with Barry's parents for Thanksgiving, there was no time for any private discussions.

I am still trying to process all of the dynamics of that evening, as well as some of the details that we each shared with each other.  I'm sure there will be further conversation, but I'm not sure how it will start.

Aren't families unique and fun?

Susan

Getting Back to Normal

Things are finally beginning to settle down in our lives.  On Saturday we moved Barry’s parents into a wonderful assisted living facility that will be able to provide the daily support that they need.  It has been a long haul to get to this point, but Barry and his sister have worked beautifully together to provide care and support up until this point and to convince their parents to make this move.  It will allow all of us to sleep better knowing that they are safe and well cared for between our visits.  They live approx. 100 miles from us and about 50 miles from Barry’s sister.  For the past month or so, we have been spending every Saturday and Sunday with them and Joan has been stopping by for a night in the middle of the week.  We will all celebrate Thanksgiving together tomorrow, and will be a very meaningful one for all of us.

During the past month, I have tried to maintain some sort of consistency with Barry, but it has been a challenge due to all that was going on.  He stayed in his chastity device and panties, but our play time was much more limited than either of us would have liked.  Since Saturday night was spent at this parents, Friday night became our one consistent play time, as well as his time for shaving.  Sometimes we were to have some relaxed time together during the week, but it was challenging.

One change I made was to allow Barry out of his device one or two nights each week, with the definite one being Friday night when we shaved him.  I tried to do the same on Tuesday to split the week up a bit.  I have found that it is good for it to come off at least every few days for a thorough cleaning of both Barry and the device.  On those nights, I replace the device with the Ride-On penis extension. That provides some protection from stimulation of Barry and allows me to be sexually satisfied.  Barry also seems to enjoy prancing around with what feels like a full size penis to him J.  I confess that I get quite a kick out of watching himself in the mirror when he has it on.

Our play nights also include significant controlled sexual teasing of Barry.  He is not allowed to climax without my permission, which I only give every couple of weeks.  He is getting quite adept at controlling his orgasm when he tries.  If he fails and starts to orgasm, I immediately stop any stimulation, which really spoils it for him, and I immediately give him a serious spanking as punishment with either our ruler paddle or the lexan.  That has only happened twice and he has definitely learned that it is not wise to climax without permission.

We are both looking forward to returning to more normalcy in our lives and having more time to play.  I also look forward to getting back to this blog.  I’ve missed being able to share and to spend reading what is going on in other blogs.

Happy Thanksgiving all…

Susan

My Absence

Based on the various emails and comments to blog posts that I have received, and my inability to answer them in a timely manner, I have come to the realization that I need explain why I have not been actively blogging much lately, or responding to emails in a timely manner.  I'm not comfortable offering significant detail, but Barry and I are in the midst of trying to support and lovingly care for an aging parent.  It takes all of our energy at this point.  So, please bear with us.  And, please provide your prayers and loving thoughts based upon your own traditions.  We will greatly appreciate them.

Susan

Success and Frustration

Last night was a special evening for me. I have been reading about techniques to 'milk' Barry by massaging his prostate gland for a long time.  I have really wanted to make this happen, but I have unsuccessfully tried several times.  But, last night it worked.

When I began, Barry was very arroused, as he always is these days.  Since it has been over two weeks since his last orgasm, I decided to try again.  I had him kneeling on the bed and I used two fingers this time to massage his prostate.  This time I held his penis with my left hand while I used the index and middle finger of my right hand to very firmly massage the prostate.  Initially, I saw a lot of clear fluid beginning to drip, but that was not unusual these days.  After about 10 minutes I could tell by his verbal utterings that I was having a different affect on him.  He eventually began to make some sounds I hadn't heard before.  At that point I began to see a drop of semen emerge, so I began to massage more firmly.  As I continued, a slow stream of semen emerged and his verbal response took on a different tone.  It was almost primal in nature as semen flowed from his penis.  I kept massaging until no more semen emerged.  However, his penis was still very erect at that point.

We slowly took some time to digest what had happened and talked about it.  Barry had a tough time sharing.  However, he eventually verbalized that he had a hard time understanding what was happening. In his words, he felt something flowing through his penis, but had no control over it.  He said it felt really weird, compared to when he urinated, which he could control.  He and I also realized that after it happened, he was still sexually arroused, which he found to be totally frustrating.

I'm not sure where we will go with this.  I loved achieving this milking.  However, I didn't know how to deal with Barry still being sexually arroused at the end.  I left him completely frustrated (which is not a bad thing in my mind).  However, I think I need to handle this differently in the future.

Susan

The Journey Continues

The past few weeks have continued to be a learning time for both Barry and me as I have continued to keep him in chastity.  He has only had two orgasms since we began this stage of our journey in the beginning of September.  I apologize for not sharing more with you as we have progressed.  However, I found it hard to share as we went along, since we each were truly trying to find the right way for our relationship and each of our needs.  It has not been easy and we have made changes as we went along.  But, we are now getting into a good rhythm and it seems to be working.  Some of the changes we have made include changing Barry's device.  We have reverted back to the 6000s that we initially purchased, but had put aside because Barry could slip out of it quite easily.  However, I suddenly realized that since Barry has lost significant weight, his penis protrudes more prominently from his lower abdomen even when he is flacid and the 6000s is now more secure.  Barry finds it much more comfortable, and I must confess that I love the way it looks under his panties!  So, it was a good change for both of us.  I also allow Barry to be out of it on more occasions, when I can adequately supervise him.  We have started removing it on Saturday mornings while we are around the house, but he wears only panties during that time.  It gives me a fun time to tease and arrouse him, but now allow him to orgasm.  It definitely doesn't take much to cause an erection during that time :-).

Another change has been to allow more frequent orgasms than the first stretch of chastity he endured (4 weeks).  That definitely got his attention and made him realize that I was serious about controlling this part of his life.  But, now, I enjoy orchestrating some pleasure for him a bit more frequently.  Even though I will allow more frequent orgasms, they are now completely on my terms.  I either provide the stimulation or require Barry to do so under my supervision.  His second orgasm was a very quick affair because I allowed him 3 minutes to play with himself while I watched.  I made it clear that when the three minutes were up he would be required to stop all stimulation and go back in his device.  He managed to orgasm, but with little time to spare.

As we move forward, I will try to share more of this phase of our journey.  I have ordered a couple of new toys that should provide some fun for us.  I am anxious for them to arrive and will share more when they do.

Susan

Growing into being a Keyholder

It feels like ages since I have posted (it has been too long).  However, I have felt like I didn't know what to post.  The past few weeks have been difficult for Barry and for me with respect to his being kept in a chastity device and with me learning to understand how to be an efffective keyholder for him.  I initially thought I would just keep him locked  up and orgasm free for a week or more at a time.  However, while it is obviously hard for Barry, I was surprised to learn that it would also be hard for me.  I like giving him pleasure!  So, I have been been trying to figure out what to do.  I have really appreciated the various comments that readers have offered, and have been considering a numberof the suggestions offered. 

I have eventually come to the understanding that I need to keep Barry sans orgasm for a length of time to make an impression upon him and achieve full control.  I have also come to realize that I also need to help both of us get through that process.  He has now not had an oorgasm for a little over three weeks.  It has not been easy for him.  However, I think I am beginning to learn how to manage him, thanks to the help of your suggestions and reading I have done of other blogs.

I have found that letting him out of his 'cage' under controlled circumstances is helpful.  I have also found that intense teasing (and denial) is also  beneficial.  The teasing gives each of us satisfaction, but the denial keeps him under my control.  So, I have been removing his device about twice a week for a thorough cleansing (and shaving when appropriate) of his genitals, and also provides an opportunity for easy teasing and denial. 

I have also found that the Ride-On PPA is a wonderful alternative chastity device.  It covers his penis, allows easy teasing of his scrotum, and provides great pleasure for me ... the best of all worlds from my point of view!  I have come to love the Ride-On.  It not only provides me with great pleasure, but it also provides a great handle by which I can lead my man around :-).

Last night, during an intense teasing session, I also decided to give Barry a choice.  I told him that I would allow him to masturbate in my presence and I would make him stop all stimulation the moment he began to orgasm ... or he could wait anothe three weeks and receive a full orgasm from me.  I was a bit surprised to have him choose the latter option.

So, his celibacy continues; but my pleasure from his Ride-On and oral worship also continues.  Chastity is definitely a new journey for us.  Based on his decision last night, I think we are each enjoying the journey.

Susan

Prostate Milking

Neither Barry nor I slept well last night.  He was extremely restless and kept waking me up with his tossing and turning.  He feels it was do to being locked up for so long (it has been well over a week and I have told him that he will not have any pleasure until at least Saturday night).  I don't plan to change that decision. 

Since I made the decision to keep Barry in chastity, I have been reading a good bit about prostate milking.  I am quite intrigued about this process, and am wondering if it would be a good way to relieve sexual stress without providing any pleasure. Do any readers have experience or advice for me in this area?  Has anyone used any of the insertible devices that purportedly assist in this endeavor?

Susan

Losing Control

Barry and I had a wonderful weekend visiting with dear friends.  However, our drive home on Sunday was not what I would have asked for.  It started out lovely, with Barry and I having time to recollect the events of the weekend and how much we enjoy the other couple.  I was also teasing Barry quite a bit about whether or not I would release him from his cage and allow him some for of pleasure.  After all, it has been over a week since I locked him up again :-).

About an hour from home Barry received a text message related to work, which he read while he was driving.  I hate it when he does that and I reminded him of that fact.  To make matters worse, he decided he needed to reply immediately and began doing so.  I told him to stop and that he could dictate the response to me and I would send it for him from his phone.  However, of course, he thought he was fine and continued to do so.  Well, a truck in front of him blew a tire and immediately hit its breaks and was swerving.  Due to being engrossed in texting, Barry reacted more slowly and had to swerve to the right to avoid the truck.  Fortunately, we were in the far right lane.  However, while sweving, Barry lost control of our car and we went off the shower and down a small embankment where we became mired in wet grass and mud from last week's rain.  We were both OK, as was the car.  But, we were stuck.  An hour later, we were towed out of the muck and continued home.

As I'm sure you can imagine the rest of the ride home was very quiet.  I was steaming about his texting causing the incident, which could have easily been far worse than it was.  Since we were running later than planned, we stopped at a local favorite pub-style restaurant close to home and had a quick dinner.  When we arrived home and Barry had brought in our suitcase, I told him to get a shower and meet me in the bedroom.  He must have assumed that I had pleasurable things in mind for him, because he asked if I was going to join him in the shower to shave him (he was well overdue).  I couldn't believe it and responded with something like "Do you really think you are going to enjoy any pleasure tonight after the dumb-ass move you pulled to text while driving and almost getting us killed?  No!  I'm not going to join you in the shower, but you are correct that you need to be shaved.  You will do it yourself, but with your cage on.  Get every place you can and your bottom had better be as smooth as a baby's butt, because that what I want to see when I punish it tonight.  Your are in for a serious punishment paddling."

When Barry joined me in the bedroom, our pillows were in a pile in the center of the bed.  Four of his old ties that I use to secure him to the bedposts were tied to the posts, ready for his wrists and ankles. And, our lexan paddle was on top of the pillows.  The look on Barry's face was priceless.  I had never tied him to the bed face down, but it was obvious what I planned to do that night.  I told him to remove his panties (the only thing he was wearing) and lie over the pillows.  As he did so, I placed the lexan paddle in front of his face and secured his ankles and wrists.  The pillows nicely elevated his newly shaven bottom.    Once he was secured, I used my finger tips to admire his handiwork and told him that I was going to enjoy applying the lexan to his entire bottom and upper thighs.    He immediately began to apologize and beg for forgiveness, but I wasn't going to have any of it.  In a way, I was probably a bit out of control, because I was still very mad at him for what he had done.  This would be the first time I punished him in a state of anger.

When I took the paddle and began to tap Barry's bottom, it was obvious that he was frightened.  I didn't give him an warm up, but I also didn't beat him with it.  However, I did methodically apply firm strokes at an even pace that worked their way up and down his freshly shaved bottom.  It didn't take him long to begin to holler, at which time I took his panties and stuffed them in his mouth with the instruction to take his punishment quietly or it would be much worse.  Throughout the paddling I berated his stupidity and kept reminding him how upset and mad I was that he could have killed both of us.  I really don't have any idea how many strokes I gave him, but I know his bottom was extremely red and somewhat bruised when I stopped.  I told him to lie there and think about what he had done until I came back. 

I went into the family room and cooled down a bit.  I also decided I wasn't quite done.  After about 15 minutes I returned to the bedroom and told Barry that he had been punished for texting while driving and almost killing us.  However, I also informed him that he was now going to be punished for not following my directive to stop texting and let me send the text for him.  I told him he would receive 25 more strokes of the lexan.  By now, I was very calm and in control.  I administered them firmly  and slowly, so he could feel the full impact of each one.  When I was done, I released him from his bindings and took him in my arms.  We hugged and kissed and he knew he was forgiven.  However, there were clearly tears in his eyes.

We haven't talked about the punishment since that night.  However, it is clear that his bottom is still very sore and tender.  I don't think he will make the same mistake again.  I also hope that I will never punish him in anger again.

Susan

Vanilla Weekend

Tomorrow we are traveling to visit some very dear friends for  the weekend.  They epitomize the definition of 'vanilla', so we will have to be on our best behaviour :-).  That is a bit difficult for me, since weekends are normally the time when Barry and I can really play and explore. 

I have also still not told the complete story of last weekend.  There was more that occurred.  It will come out sometime.

Susan

A Trophy Cock of Sorts

Last Saturday evening will always be very memorable for me.  Thanks to a delivery on Friday of a very special new toy, Saturday night was very special.

Many of you probably remember that I have been an admirer of Suzanne at All Mine.  She seems like a lovely woman a bit younger than myself who has a younger sissy husband as well as a lover who possesses what she describes as a "Trophy Cock".  I have been following her blog for some time now and have been extremely impressed by the way she controls both her husband and lover.  She is a source of inspiration and ideas.  I must confess that I have also been jealous of her 'Trophy Cock', as she describes her lover.  I have always been satisfied with Barry's penis.  It is the only one I have known (Yes, I'm old enough to to have be part of a generation in which some women still lost their virginity on their wedding night).  I will never regret that.  However, after Barry exposed me to the wealth of photos on the web, I have become more aware of the wide variance in penis sizes in the world.  As the journey that Barry and I are on has progressed, I've become more curious as to what a larger penis would feel like, especially since I enjoy vaginal orgasms.

Given the above background, I suspect that none of my readers will be surprised to learn that I am not comfortable taking a lover or having an affair.  I am very open to exploring each of our needs within the context of our marriage, but I need for Barry and I to remain faithful to each other.  That does not diminish my respect for Suzanne or cause me to feel any judgement on the path she has taken.  We each must do what seems right for ourselves.

Having shared all of the above, I have still felt a craving to experience a larger penis.   Fortunately, I have found a solution that works for me.  Last Friday a "Ride On" hollow Prosthetic Penis Attachment that I had ordered for Barry arrived.  Barry's penis fits nicely inside it and I still have access to his scrotal sac for teasing and playing.  However, it adds 2+ inches to the length of his penis and significant girth.    Below is a picture of it.

As you can see, it provides a ring to go around his scrotum to provide stability.  It was a bit difficult to get his testicles through the ring.  I had to gently do that one testicle at a time, even with its stretchability.  However, I'm sure that will get easier with practice.

The end result was wonderful.  After I shaved Barry Saturday night, I presented him with our new toy and put it on him.  I think he was relieved to be out of his chastity device, but didn't really like the idea of an artificial penis.  I must confess that I had fun getting him to explore its effectiveness in several positions.  Mission was quite nice and felt very natural.  Riding him while he was on his back was not so good.  I love that position, since it gives me a lot of control.  However, the angle of the Ride On was uncomfortable and I had to be very careful about its length.  Hopefully, that will get easier to manage with experience and practice.  My big surprise was that I loved having him take me from behind with it (what Barry likes to call "doggy").  The penetration was heavenly and it hit the magic spot for me.

Another surprise to me was that Barry didn't seem to receive any significant stimulation from it.  He never came close to achieving an orgasm in any of the positions we tested.  Of course that left him unfilled and subject to my teasing when we were done, and I made sure that he received lots of that before I allowed an orgasm :-).

So, I feel like we have added a fun new toy to our toybox.  Barry is not quite so enthusiastic, but I suspect that he will come to enjoy it more than the chastity device.

Susan

Good Night Irene

Barry and I are doing fine after Irene went through New England.  We had no property damage other than a bit of debris to clean up in the yard.  However, we were without electricity for almost three days.  Thanks to Barry's forsight, we own a generator, so we weathered survived those three days quite comfortably.  All is now back to normal and we feel very thankful that we had so little damage.  Our hearts to out to our neighbors and friends in other areas, especially Vermont which was severely hit.

Now that things are back to normal, I hope to get back to posting more in the near future.

Susan

Panty Shopping

Saturday was a delightful day which I thoroughly enjoyed. I was very anxious to buy Barry is very own collection of panties and nighties. When I had him wearing panties earlier, he mostly wore mine, except for a couple of special things I had purchased for him, such as his punishment panties. However, since he lost weight, they are a bit large for him.

Early in the morning we took care of the necessary preparations for Hurricane Irene, even though it looks like it's impact upon us will be much less than what was earlier predicted. By 10 AM we were ready to head to the mall that is far enough away from us that we don't risk running into anyone who knows us. It also has a Macy's, which is wear I like to buy my lingerie, and a Victoria's Secret. Before we left, Barry almost begged me to allow him to keep some of his jockey shorts, saying that he needs some to wear when he is working around the house and yard on the weekends. I told him not to worry, I will make sure we purchase a couple of pair of cotton briefs that can fulfill his weekend needs.

We went to Macy's first and together we picked out a number of high rise briefs, hipsters, and even a lacy pair of boyshorts (along with a package of assorted pastel colors cotton Jockey hipster panties for weekend wear). We also picked out a short nylon nightgown and a mid-thigh length chemise for which we found a matching panty for sleepwear. Barry was initially quite embarrassed, but eventually got into looking for things, once he realized that no one was paying much attention to us. He was pretending that he was looking for things for me, just to give himself some cover. He would say things like, you would like nice in these, etc. I let him play his little game until it came time to take them to the checkout counter. I handed all of our selections to Barry and told him to go pay for them, as I quickly disappeared (but only far enough away so that I could still watch him).

We then found the Victoria's Secret store where we were immediately greeted a young saleswoman who asked if she could help me. Much to Barry's dismay, I quickly responded that I was looking for something sexy for my husband! She didn't bat an eyelash, but Barry turned crimson. She then showed us a variety of babydolls with matching panties and teddies. I settled on a lovely polyester babydoll with a wide halter strap and a panty which was fairly full in style. We also looked at some garters and garter slips, but I decided to hold off on anything else.

We then had a late lunch before heading home for a fashion show :-).  As I had hoped, each of the panties selected nicely highlighted his cage and also just covred his cute bottom, which is a delightful size since he lost weight.

Saturday is also our normal 'shaving' day for Barry.  We each like for him to be shaved from the waist to upper thigh area.  Since we missed doing it last weekend, he really was in need of cleaning up.  After dinner, I sent him to the shower and I joined him to do the honors.  Barry sometimes shaves himself, but I also really enjoy doing it.  I especially wanted to do the honors this time so that I could appropriately tease and arrouse him.  I initially left him in the chastity device while I shaved everything that was accessible.  I took my time and made sure I paid very special attention to his scrotum, inner thighs and buttocks.  He always finds it arrousing, and this time was no exception.  However, the device definitely inhibited much growth of his penis.  When Barry is flacid his penis shrinks to a very small size.  It grows to about 4 inches when erect, but we had to have a very small cage in order for it to remain in place when he is flacid.  Of course, that means there is very little room for expansion.  I finally told him that I was going to remove the cage so I could shave the shaft of his penis.  When I did so, it didn't take long for it to become fully erect.  That allowed me to carefully shave and tease it.  Given his tendancy to lose control, I made sure I was careful to not cause him to ejaculate.  After I toweled him dry, Barry began to put on the chemise/panty combination I had purchased for him.  However, when he reached for the panty, I reminded him that the cage must go back on.  The look of disappointment on his face was priceless.

When we got into bed, I reminded him that even though he was remaining celibate, I still craved receiving his pleasuring, which he lovingly provided to me.  I had no trouble sleeping thafterwards, but Barry reported that he was awake much of the night.

Susan

PS We are now ready to hunker down for the day and ride out what will hopefully be only the remnants of Irene.

Back into Panties for Barry

Thank you very much for the comments (and suggestions) that have been submitted to my last two posts. I really appreciate the support and suggestions that have been offered. I have also enjoying the fact that Margaret has checked in with me again and she has provided a wealth of insight to me as I continue to move forward.

Last night I took another step in the process of taking complete charge of our relationship. After dinner, while Barry was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, went into our bedroom to make preparations for when we would get ready for bed. I removed all of his underpants and sleeping shorts from his dresser drawer and dirty clothes hamper and placed them in the wastebasket next to his dresser. I then folded and placed a pair of my panties on top of his dresser, and also placed a baby doll nightie with matching panties on his side of the bed.

I then joined Barry in our family room to watch some TV and read. I eventually suggested that he get ready for bed and I would join him. I didn't wait too long to follow, since I wanted to enjoy his reaction. When I walked in the room, he was going through the underwear and sleepwear that I had placed in the wastebasket. His initial comment was "What is this all about?".    I calmly explained to him that I had decided that he would now wear only panties and that on Saturday, before Hurricane Irene arrives, we would be making a trip to a mall that is about 35 miles from us (where no on would know us) to pick out a selection of panties for his everday and dressup use.  I added that since it arrouses me to see him in panties and lingerie, he will now also wear feminine sleepwear at night ... starting with my babydoll nightgown tonight.

He started to protest, at which time I reminded him that he was currently locked in a chastity device to which I held the key.  I urged him to realize that any argumentative attitude would likely cause him to wait longer for any sexual relief.  I also put on a nylon babydoll, but omitted the panties and suggested that he make sure I was well pleased before he went to sleep.  He complied very nicely with that request and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him orally pleasure me.  When he was done, I couldn't resist using my hands to trace the outline of his chastity device through his panties and tease him.  I started referring to his confined penis as "Herbie", since the shape the outline of his device in his panties made me think of the hood of car in the  Love Bug movie.

This morning, Barry dutifully put on the panties I had placed on his dresser and went off to work.  I love to seem him in panties, especially when he is wearing his device.  They provide a lovely display of his trapped penis and I know that he will be very aware of the fact that he is wearing panties all day long.

Tomorrow will be fun.  I am looking forward to shopping for panties and lingerie with him. 

Susan

Going to the Next Level

I had a wonderful surprise Monday evening. Margaret (from the inn where Barry and I stayed in NY) called.  She wanted to check in with me to follow-up on our conversation the morning we left.  I shared with her my hesitation about making such a dramatic change with respect to being the HOH, which opened up a wonderful conversation.  I ended up sharing more details with her of what I have actually done with respect to FLR so far, especially concerning what I have done with respect to chastity and sexual aspects.  When she realized that even though I have often been keeping Barry in his device, I have also been making sure he is sexually satisfied whenever I am, she had a very different perspective.  I don't think I want to go through all of the details of how we got to this point.  But, her advice (which makes lots of sense to me) is that I need to deprive Barry of orgasms.  It is the need for them that is the key to creating a loving, caring husband who will do whatever I ask of him.  She feels it is also the key to having Barry accept me being the HOH in a FLR.  As we talked and I thought about it, this makes perfect sense to me.  It also allows me to move to being HOH in a more gradual way.  I didn't get much sleep last night as I thought about our conversation and how best to proceed.

Last evening during dinner, I had a heart to heart conversation with Barry about our relationship and where I have been led on our journey. We again talked about me being the HOH and he still liked that idea.  I shared with him that I am going begin by taking even more control of our sexual life.  I informed him that he will now be in his chastity device 24/7, unless I decide to release him, and that he needs to understand that his goal is to please me sexually whenever I desire.  His sexual needs will be met less often, when I feel it is beneficial. 

After dinner, we retired to the bedroom where I locked him in his device and advised him that he could expect to be in it until at least Sunday, and I explained that having it off for a bit on Sunday will be dependent upon his behavior between now and then.  I also reminded him that I expect him to pleasure me whenever I desire it.   I then informed him that I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath while he did the dishes.  And, that I expected him to join me in the bedroom when I was done. 

When I finished my bath, well after Barry had cleaned up the kitchen, I put on a teddy and found Barry working at the computer.  It didn't take much coaxing to have him join me in the bedroom.  However, he slowly learned that I meant what I said.  After he orally pleasured me to a very satisfying orgasm, I hugged and kissed him.  And, then I went to sleep.  As I did so, it was obvious how frustrated and unsatisfied he felt.  Somehow, I couldn't help but think about the many nights I felt the same way early in our marriage when he would have an orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep.

I think the coming few days will be very interesting for him, but I now feel confident that I am able to take things slowly as we move forward in our journey.  I don't think either of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started.  However, I am also confident that we are moving towards a much more satisfying relationship for both of us.

Susan

Thoughts about HOH and FLR

In my last post I shared that I had a delightful conversation with the hostess of the inn we stayed in last Sunday night. While Barry was packing things up and loading the car, she sat down at the table and we talked for almost an hour.  She was curious about the type of relationship that Barry and I have, and I was curious about she and her husband.  It seems that she and Robert have a complete female led relationship in which she is the head of the household in all regards.  She manages the inn and Robert does most of the work.  He prepares breakfast each morning for the guests and after cleaning up the kitchen he takes care of cleaning the five rooms.  She also keeps him in a chastity device and panties most of the time and has taken complete control of when and how he receives sexual pleasure.  She is convinced that since she has taken complete charge of Robert, he has become a much kinder and gentler husband.  She also does not hesitate to use corporal punishment whenever necessary to keep him well behaved.  I was curious how she could do that due to having strangers in the house most nights.  She explained that most guests leave by 10 AM in the morning and new guests seldom arrive until at least 2 PM.  When a punishment is needed, it is frequently administered during that time period except when the inn is vacant.  She also explained that she also frequently uses a cane, which is a very quiet implement.  The only problem with cane is that it is difficult for Robert to remain quiet.  Initially, she would gag him whenever the cane was used, but she has slowly trained him to take it quietly.  Before we ended our conversation, she invited Robert to our table from the kitchen and prompted him to tell me about their relationship.  His summary confirmed what Margaret had told me.

I was quite intrigued by the complete control she exhibits over Robert and what a gentle, pleasant person he is.  When I commented about that, Margaret explained that he wasn't always as loving and kind.  However, that changed once she took charge of their relationship and him.  She strongly encouraged me to take more control of all aspects of Barry's and my relationship.  She was confident that I would see a dramatic change in Barry's general demeanor and an increase in his desire and actions to please me in all ways.  She also suggested that based upon what I told her about Barry's desire to be spanked and his acceptance of me controlling much of our sex life, it is very likely that Barry really desires to have a woman control more aspects of his life and that he will quickly embrace it.

As we drove home that morning, I couldn't help but playing my conversation with Margaret over in my head many times.  I was struck by how similar it seems to what several of you readers have shared in comments to me about HOH and FLRs.   That night over dinner, I shared much of the conversation I had with Margaret with Barry and told him that I was thinking about taking full control of all aspects of our relationship and household.  When he asked me what that meant, I told him I wasn't quite sure, but that I was going to give it significant thought and we would talk more.

Barry didn't seem to object to the idea of me being the HOH, but since we  haven't talked in more detail about what it would mean to him, I'm not sure he fully comprehends the extent of what I'm talking about.  I have been giving it a lot of thought the past week and jotting down a number of specific changes I would implement if I decide to do this.  This feels like a really major change and is not something I am taking lightly.  The changes we have already made in our relationship are also huge, but they have occurred fairly gradually, so they didn't feel so dramatic at the time.

I suspect we'll be talking in the next few days ....

Susan

Barry's Vacation Spanking

We arrived home Monday night after a wonderful vacation in the Finger Lakes region and Adirondack mountains of New York.  Interestingly, although we live fairly close to New York, we had never spent any time there before.  It was good to have time to get away and just spend time together, without the pressures of work.

We didn't have any specific plans for this trip, so we just moved around as we desired.  The current economy made it possible for us to not need to make reservations, which is really the way we like to travel when we can.

Our last night provided a very unique experience that I never expected.  I enjoyed it much more than Barry, as I will now try to share.  We had originally planned to come home on Sunday, have a day at home on Monday, and then Barry would return to work on Tuesday.  I don't have to go back to wrk in the school system for another week.  However, we spent Sunday afternoon hiking a beautiful trail, so I decided that I would like to spend one more night away before returning.  Early evening, ss we drove through a small NY hamlet after our hike, we stopped at a lovely small Victorian inn/B&B to see if they had any rooms available.  I just couldn't resist it.

When we walked in and asked about availability, the wife of the British couple who run the inn shared that all rooms were available, so she suggested that we go upstairs and take our pick of their five rooms.  At that point, I realized that I was having a very unique opportunity presented to me, which seemed very intriguing.  This was because of what happened earlier in the week and that day. 

During our vacation, Barry reverted to one of his bad habits of ogling waitresses in restaurants we visited.  As you probably know from earlier posts, he can't resist someone in a tight skirt or pants, or someone who likes to expose cleavage.  That habit is one that really bothers me and makes me feel insecure.  Consequently, it has resulted in one of our hard and fast rules:  If he does it, he will be punished.  Twice, early in the week, I observed him ogling.  After the second time, I warned him that the next time would result in a serious punishment spanking. 

On Sunday, when we stopped for lunch at a lovely cafe, he did it again.  We were seated in a way that I was looking out the window over a small lake, and Barry was looking into the restaurant.  Two of the waitresses were quite young and lovely, and were wearing tight skirts and blouses.  As I was trying to enjoy the scenery and talk with Barry, it was apparent that his eyes were following their every movement.  When we got up to leave, I commented to him that he has just earned a very serious spanking when we got home.
I suspect he was relieved when I wanted to spend another night away after our hike.  And I don't think he had a clue what was happening when we stopped by the inn to see if there were rooms available.  However, when I learned that we would be the only people staying in the inn, my mind immediately thought of the possibility of giving Barry his much deserved punishment spanking that night in the inn.  I must also confess that it seemed quite exciting to me!

As we explored the five rooms in the inn, I noticed that none of them had a good spanking chair and that all of the beds were quite high, which is also not conducive to a comfortable spanking position for me.  However, one had a delightful padded bench at the foot of the bed, designed to serve as a luggage rack.  It would be perfect to sit on and take Barry over my lap.  Having selected that room we returned to the first floor to make arrangements with our host.  A few conversational questions helped me learn that she and her husband live alone on the third floor, so I could conclude that they would be the only other people in the inn that night.

When we went into the inn, we were greeted by a lovely woman about my age with a delightful British accent.  She and I immediately made a connection, especially when she commented that we were the first possible guests that night.  She suggested that we take a tour of the available five rooms and let her know which one we would like to choose.

We walked to a nearby restaurant for a light supper.  While we were eating, I shared my plans with Barry.  I did not like the idea of receiving a punishment spanking in the inn.  However, his pleas for a delay until we got home fell on deaf ears.  I was clearly feeling excited about doing it.  When we returned to the inn, I checked the parking lot to make sure there were no other cars of new guests.  Seeing none, I told Barry to get a shower and report to me completely nude.  I also told him to be quick about it.  A short time later, he appeared from the bathroom and, much to my surprise, he was sporting a partial erection.  I told him we were going to have to get rid of that and sent him to the bathroom for our Sonicare toothbrush with his brushing head and the sash from my robe.  After using the sash to bind Barry's hands behind his back, I then used the brush on the head of his penis to quickly bring him to orgasm, but stopping as soon as he started to spurt.  Using the toothbrush in that fashion is a combination of pleasure and pain for him due to the senstivity of his penis head, so it was not a very pleasurable orgasm for him.

After making him clean up his mess, I took him over my lap with his hand still bound.  The bench was long enough to hold his upper torso, so I made sure we were both in a comfortable position before I started the spanking.  Barry knew I had brought my wooden hairbrush, but he didn't realize I had packed the nylon rice paddle that he hates.  I started out with the brush and spanked firmly and uniformly over his entire bottom.  It was not really a warm-up, but it also wasn't full force.  He was squirming and and clearly wanting me to stop before I picked up the rice paddle.  As he asked me to stop and promised to be good, I advised him that I was just getting started.  I was really tired of the repeat performances of bad behaviour in restauants.  When I started with the rice paddle, I increased the force of each spank significantly.  I also worked on one check at a time.  It didn't take long for him to be hollering and begging for me to stop.  I became a little concerned about how much noise he was making and made him get up and bring a pair of my panties from my suitcase, which I rolled up and stuffed in his mouth.  I then proceeded to thoroughly paddle both cheeks and the upper part of this thighs just below his bottom.  By then he was really pleading, albeit it significantly muffled by the panties.  When I finally let him up, it was clear that he was a very contrite husband.

The surprise of this adventure came the next morning when we went downstairs for breakfast.  As our English hostess seated us in the dining room, she nonchalantly commently that she suspects someone will be sitting very gingerly today!  Barry immediately turned crimson and I even felt my cheeks beginning to flush.  Barry was silent, so I expressed an apology for making too much noise last night.  She quickly told me not to think anything about it.  She then turned to Barry and advised him to not be embarrassed and added that her husband also gets spanked on a regular basis when he misbehaves.  She also added that Barry must have been quite naughty based on the severity of what she heard him receiving.

After we finished breakfast, I sent Barry to the room to pack things up.  I then stayed to have a short conversation with our hostess.  I wanted to make sure she wasn't upset with what I had done in the inn.  She was fine with it, since there were not other guests.  It also gave us a chance to compare some notes, which was very interesting, and should probably be left for another post.

Susan

Solving Barry's Premature Ejaculation Problem

A couple of posts ago, I shared that since I have been keeping Barry in chastity for longer periods of time, he as been experiencing some premature ejaculation issues.  Since I love a vaginal climax, this has been most frustrating for me.  I'd like to express my appreciation to those who have offered some suggestions, esepcially Harry Haversackers and Anonymous.

Like Harry's wife, giving up on chastity control is not an option.  We tried Ambersol but, like Harry, we found it difficult to figure out the timing of administration and amount to use.  It added another level of frustration, which I couldn't deal with.  We have also begun to explore some sort of penis extension for Barry.  I have found one or two that I am considering purchasing.  "Anonymous" spoke of a unit that would fit on a CB6000 (which we have, but doesn't work well as a chastity device for Barry).  However, we can't seem to find the extension attachment that he talked about.  So, I would be greatly appreciative if "Anonymous" can provide some more specifics.  It sounds like a good solution.

We also discovered another possible solution this past week.  Barry had a birthday, so I decided to remove his chastity device prior to our dinner that night.  I prepared his favorite dish (sirloin tips) and we enjoyed a wonderful relaxed evening before retreating to the bedroom.  When we began our amorous activities, I found that I was able to ride Barry to a wonderful vaginal climax before I began to provide him with his favorite form of stimulation (oral).  Even when we moved into that, he seemed to be able to exhibit significant control.  At this point, I don't know if his success was due to being out of the device for a few hours before we moved into our sexual activity or if two glasses of wine during dinner played some sort of role.  However, we will continue to explore.

I am also still intrigued about finding a penis extension similar to what "Anonymous" described.  As I have previously shared, Barry's penis is on the small side.  However, I have always been very satisfied with it.  He has always pleased me vaginally.  But .... the thoughts of feeling something bigger are intriguing :-).  Perhaps the comments from Susanne at "All Mine" about her lover's Trophy Cock are influencing me.  I don't know.  But it would be nice to see what something bigger feels like, and the only way that will happen is if Barry gets an extension.  Althought I enjoy Susanne's blog, taking a lover is really way outside my comfort zone.

Susan

PS  Barry and I are leaving on vacation tomorrow morning for 10 days.  That will give us a good time to explore ways to get him to relax after he is out of chastity, which may help us figure out a way to easily solve the problem.  I will also look forward to hearing more about recommended extensions.

What Kind of FLR is This?

Before I begin the heart of this post, I would first like to thank each of you who left comments to my last post.  They trigger lots of thoughts, which I will be trying to address in my next few posts, assuming I don't get distracted onto something else :-).

The thoughts from "ahumanishere" got me thinking about whether or not I view my self as a HOH and if Barry and I have a typical (whatever that means) FLR.  I have given lots of thought to that over the past few days.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't expect to be the HOH with respect to all things.  Barry and I have been married for many years and have always worked together as a team in making decisions.  That is not going to go away.  However, our relationship has definitely changed since I started spanking him, especially with respect to many aspects of sex and lovemaking. 

However, I don't view myself as the HOH.  But .... I do feel like I have taken over the leadership and responsibility for our sex life and lovemaking.  And, I like that.
Prior to learning that Barry has a spanking fetish, our sex life and lovemaking was pure vanilla and it was controlled primarily by Barry.  I have to admit that I essentially defaulted my responsibility and leadership to him.  For all those years, we didn't do much more than missionary position with respect to sex.  Much of the reason for that was because I wasn't very responsive to trying new things.
However, after the spanking revelation I started sitting with Barry as he surfed the internet.  My eyes were opened to many things that I never knew existed.  Somehow I gathered the courage to try some of them, and I discovered a very latent and hidden sex drive.  To say that it surprised me would be a huge understatement.  In reality, it shocked both Barry and me.

I now love having control of our sexual activities.  I have had more orgasms in the past year than I did in all of our previous years of marriage.  It excites me to be able to tease Barry and control when and how he orgasms.  I love putting him in his chastity device and then seeing how excited he is to have it removed.  I also love being able to control what positions we use for penetration and cunnilingus to insure that Barry completely pleases me. 

Barry also seems much more satisfied.  There are some latent sexual needs that he has brought forth that he could never find a way to previously share with me (we both had that challenge).  He also seems perfectly happy to let me control things in the bedroom, including his chastity, his wearing panties, and his not always knowing how or if he will orgasm, etc.
Sooooo, I can't say that I am, or want to be, the HOH.  However, we definitely have a FLR with respect to our sex life.  I guess what I am pleased about is the fact that it seems to work for us at this time.  I am also very appreciative of the comments from "ahumanishere.  They helped me think through where Barry and I are and understand it.

Susan

Learning as We Go

During the past week, I finally realized that Barry and I needed to have a serious discussion and that he needed to make some significant changes with respect to his performance in the bedroom.  Since we became more active again during the past month or so, and since I have been using his chastity device to keep him from self-pleasuring, his ability to provide me with the physical pleasure I crave and need has significantly diminished.  When we first started this new way of life over a year ago, we were each striving for ways to please each other.  It was wonderful!  I love finding new ways to tease and please him, but I also need to be fulfilled.  And, recently that has not been happening very often.

During the past month,his suggestions for new things to do together always seemed to focus on his pleasure.  To make matters worse, since he has been in chastity, he is very quickly arroused and reaches an orgasm much too quickly to meet my needs.  Gone are the days when I can ride him and control his ability to orgasm to meet my needs.  Consequently, we seem to be back to the days of a quick love-making session which leaves him fulfulled and me frustrated.

Because of all of this, I've been exploring new blogs on my own.  In the past I only did this while monitoring Barry.  I now realize that most of what I had been reading with him was written from the male perspective.  I really didn't take enough time to explore things on my own.  I recently discovered  suzanne-allmine.blogspot.com, which is written by a woman about my age who has clearly taken charge of her own sexual needs.  She is married to a younger submissive man, but also has a lover who possesses what she refers to as a "Trophy Cock" (TC).  Both men are bisexual, which makes things even more confusing to me.  Her relationship is not what I am seekeing.  However, what I have learned from reading her blog is that she has taken charge of things and makes sure her needs are met.  She has helped me realize that I need to find a way to do the same thing in a way that makes sense for me.

I now realize that I made the mistake of constantly trying to please Barry, assuming that he would do the same for me.  At times he did.  However, I am slowly learning that men don't always do that. So, I am now determined to really take control.  I want to continue to please my #1 guy, but also make sure he pleases me.

So, Barry and I had a significant 'heart to heart' talk last night.  I think he understood my needs and concerns.  Most importantly, he agreed to what I proposed, which was the following:

• I will be in charge of our sexual relationship
• His responsibility is to insure that I am sexually pleased
• His sexual pleasure will only occur after I am appropriately satisfied
• We will each strive to find new ways to pleasure each other
• He will wear his chastity device whenever I want him to do so
• We will continue to openly discuss our sexual needs and strive to find ways to mutually meet them
• We each will strive to getting to a point where we can orgasm together, but that will take more work and discussion.

After our discussion and agreement, I locked Barry in his chastity device.  I shared with him that he will not be released from it until he provides me with an orgasm.  When that occurs, he will be released and I will make sure he achieves orgasm. 

Susan

Back in Chastity Control

Things were going quite well last week as Barry and I found more time together.  Quite well, that is, until Barry decided to break one our major rules.  I returned home early from a shopping expedition to find Barry surfing porn sites on the computer.  He wasn't masturbating, but it was clear that he was thoroughly arroused, so I was sure that it would have just been a matter of time before he provided himself with some pleasure.  Ever since we started our journey together, Barry has understood that I don't mind him looking a porn, as long as I am by his side and that I am the one who provides his pleasure.

I was quite upset and made it clear that he was going to be punished that evening.  I haven't punished Barry in several months, so I could tell that he was a bit taken back by my announcement.  After we cleaned up the kitchen from dinner, I suggested that Barry go take a shower and that I would join him to provide his weekly shaving.  When I joined him in the shower, he quickly became arroused and remained in that state throughout the shaving procedure.  As I helped him dry off, I told him it was time for his punishment.  I told him to remain naked and meet me at our computer.  Five minutes later, I joined him with an old neck tie to bind his hands, along with our electric vibrator and wooden bathbrush.  Boy did his eyes grow wide!

After binding his hands behind his back, we both sat in front of the computer and I brought up the browser history to see what sites Barry and visited earlier that day.  We then explored them together as I made him guide me to the specific links he had explored.  They were quite interesting and one video caused him to become highly arroused.  It involved a man tied face down on a table which had a hole for his genitals to protrude through, where they were accessible from below.  An attractive woman wearing a red mask first spanked him a bit and then thoroughly teased him from below for a lengthy time before bringing him to a climax.  The amazing part was that after he had his orgasm, she continued to stimulate him.  It appeared to be quite painful yet exciting to him.  Barry also couldn't hide his excitement as we watched it.  I tried to get him to explain why it was so exciting and he couldn't provide any details other than it just was.  I decided to play it again.  As he watched it I tried to mimic what woman was doing, bringing him to a high level of excitement and then backing off multiple times.  After I caused him to orgasm, I also then continued to stroke his penis and massage its head.  Even though his hands were tied, Barry couldn't sit still as I did it.  It was really driving him crazy.  He seemed to love it and hate it at the same time. 
After I was done, I told Barry it was time for his punishment spanking.  I left his hands tied behind his back and took him to the sofa where I took him over my lap and gave him a thorough spanking with the bathbrush.  It is his most hated spanking implement and I hated to spank him as hard as I did.  However, I wanted him to fully understand that surfing porn without me present was completely unacceptable.  By the time I was done, I had his complete attention and he was begging and pleading for me to stop as he promised he would never do it again.  After hugging and kissing him, and telling him how much I loved him, Barry completely surprised me.  He suggested that perhaps I should keep him in his chastity device on a regular basis when he was unsupervised to help him behave.

So, since Saturday night, Barry is now wearing his device whenever I am not with him.  That means wearing it to work everyday (which I don't think he anticipated), as well as anytime that either of us leaves the house without the other.  Our new procedure has created some interesting dynamics as I secure him each morning and release him when he comes home from work.  He is definitely much hornier (which I didn't think could be possible) every night after being locked up all day.  He attributes it to the fact that the presence of the chastity device makes him constantly aware of his penis.


Susan

Finding Time for Each Other Again

I am very embarrassed to realize that it has been over two months since I last posted.  I don't know how it happened, but life became really busy for both Barry and me.  Because of that we stopped taking the time for each other and the things we enjoy.  That was a huge mistake and we are working on rectifying the situation.  I will share more about that in this post, but let me first provide a quick update on Barry's diet.  Even through the hecticness of our lives the past two months, Barry stayed focused on losing weight and has now lost 30 pounds.  He is the most amazing person I have ever known when it comes to staying on a diet.  He looks fantastic and has much more energy.  His weight loss also made me realize that when a man loses weight, it includes the fat in the pubic area, which causes the penis to show more and look bigger .... a benefit that I am enjoying :-).

Friday night of 4th of July weekend, I had a wake up call with respect to how busy Barry and I had become and what it was doing to us.  I discovered that he was masturbating  to the computer again!  A sad part of it was that it had been going on for a couple of weeks and I hadn't realized that we weren't paying enough attention to each other.  I was upset with myself for letting things get to that point, but I was even more upset that Barry reverted to masturbation rather than sharing with me that he needed more attention in bed.  I realized that I needed to take control again, which I did the next day.

On Saturday I informed Barry that I was going to take charge of our love life again, and that I was going to begin by placing him in his chastity device for one week as punishment for masturbating and not sharing his sexual needs with me.  In our hecticness the past two months I had also stopped shaving him, so Saturday night I took him into the shower and made sure he was completely smooth from his waist to mid-thigh.  I loved the fact that he was fully arroused the whole time I was shaving him.  When I was done, I locked him in his chastity device and then took him into the bedroom for a spanking that was hard enough to let him know I was in charge, but also loving enough to keep him arroused.  That is something he doesn't really enjoy when he is locked up.  During the spanking I let him know that he could expect to be kept in his device for one week and that he could expect a spanking every night.  I also shared that he would be well rewarded the following Saturday night when I let him out of his cage.

During the week I did my best to arrouse him every chance I had.  I dressed in provocative clothing whenever we were alone and wore his favorite lingerie to bed.  I made him sleep au naturel, so I could have easy access to teasing his testicle whenever I awoke in the middle of the night.  Every couple of days I removed his device for a couple of hours in the evening, during which time I made sure to tease him.  About midweek I started giving him hints about the reward he would experience on Saturday night.  I told him that it would be one of the fantasies that he has shared with me.  He didn't know it until Saturday, but the fantasy I chose was his desire to be teased and fulfilled unmercifully for as many times as his manhood could perform.

When  Saturday finally arrived, he was almost beside himself with desire.  And, so was I.  I could hardly wait to have my way with him.  I let him out of his device before we went out to dinner.  However, I made sure he was wearing the remote controlled vibrating cock ring underneath a pair of panties.  I was dressed in the bra, panty, and garter set that I know he loves and wearing a tight skirt and sheer white blouse.  Needless to say, I had his attention all through dinner.

When we arrived home I took him to the bedroom where I slowly undressed him and then tied him spreadeagled on his back to our four poster bed.  I then started to slowly tease him as I undressed and prepared all of the toys that I planned to use.  I'm not going to share all of the details, but three hours later after having been teased and brought to orgasm four times using various techniques, he was finally completely spent.  I think I have his attention again, and I don't plan to lose it again so easily.

Modified Weight Plan

I would like to share a special "thank you" to those who provided feedback concerning Barry's weight loss plan.  Barry and I talked again last night and we made some significant modifications.  Before I share them, I would also like to emphasize that the initial goal structure was based on what Barry told me he could and wanted to achieve.  However, when he asked to renegotiate, I took it very seriously, even though he had met his goal for two weeks in a row.  Your comments confirmed the wisdom of making some changes.

So, here is what Barry and I came up with for the remainder of his diet:

Goal - 2 lbs. per week

Tool to Keep Focused -

• Receive one hard swat with the large bath brush on Sunday night for every pound left to lose to achieve a total weight loss of 20 lbs.
• Wear panties to work each day

What Happens if Goal is Not Met -

• No sexual gratification until a week's goal is met, which means no attention from me and wearing Exobelt except when I allow it to be removed in my presence
• Wearing red control panties everyday until a week's goal is met
• Receiving a spanking consisting of 40 hard swats with the large bathbrush every night until a week's goal is met

Reward if Weight Loss is 2.5 lbs or more in a week

• Receive some form of sexual pleasure from me every night during the coming week, the specific pleasure to be determined by me

Barry seems very pleased with this new agreement.  I am too, because I think it will keep him focused and successful. 

Thanks again to all of the serious suggestions you provided.

Susan

Renegotiating Barry's Weight Program?

Barry met his goal again last week -- just!  But that is what counts.  He has now lost 6.2 lbs. of his 20 lb. goal.  As a result he is requesting that we renegotiate the conditions of his weight loss program.  He would like to lower the required amount of loss to 2.5 lbs. per week.  I am not adverse to that, since I realize that 3 lbs. per week is a significant challenge and he has worked very hard to meet it the first two weeks.  That has helped him significantly change his eating habits.

However, I'm considering whether or not in increase the penalty for failure if I lower the amount of required weight loss.  That seems like a fair trade-off, since his risk of failure will be lower.  It will also make sure he doesn't slack off.

So, I've told Barry I will consider such an approach and let him know by Wednesday night.  I also told him I would be asking our readers for their thoughts and input.

What do you think?
Susan

First Week's Results

Sunday was the first "weigh in" day for Barry.  The official event occurred shortly after we awoke.  Much to his pleasure, he lost 3.2 lbs!  Needless to say he was thrilled and I was very proud of him.  So, he is enjoying sexual pleasure every night this week and will receive a special treat one night.  The actual night and details are still to be determined.  He is also now out of his Exobelt for the week, but is still wearing his red control panties every day as a constant reminder of his goal.  He readily admits that they help him stay on the diet during the day at work.

He and I both know that the first week is usually the week of greatest weight loss, but I am very impressed with his focus at this time.  I wish I had his discipline when I need to diet :-)

Susan

Modification to Barry's Diet Plan

Last night as Barry and I were making love, it dawned on me that sex would be a very powerful motivational tool.  Interestingly, this morning when I checked this blog, I saw a comment from Harry to last night's post in which he suggests sex as a more positive reinforcement tool.  Consequently, I decided to add the following rules to Barry's Diet Plan.  They include both positive and negative aspects.

At each weekly weigh in,

• if Barry has met his goal of losing three pounds for the week, I will then provide him with sexual gratification every night during the coming week;
• if Barry exceeds his goal, I will also give him some form of special sexual treat one time during the coming week;
• if Barry fails to meet his goal, he will be celibate for the week, which will include being locked in his Exobelt whenever he is not with me (which will mean wearing it to work each day, which he hates). 

I'm hoping he at least meets his goal every week :-).

Thank you Harry for the feedback.

Susan

Barry's Diet

Barry had his annual physical last week and his doctor had a discussion with him about his weight.  He is not significantly overweight, but over the past few years, he has gained 3 to 7 pounds per year (with the last two years being 6 and 7.  His doctor is not concerned about his current weight, but he did share his concern that if the trend continues, ten years from now Barry will be almost 100 pounds overweight.  That got Barry's (and my) attention!

Being a loving wife who cares about my husband's health, I decided to help Barry lose the 15-20 pounds of extra weight and establish a healthier eating routine for the long term.  Last night he agreed to the following motivational plan.

Goal:  Lose 20 pounds at a rate of 3 pounds per week

This morning was Barry's first official weigh in.  I will now weigh him every seventh day.  If he loses 3 pounds from the previous weigh in, there is no penalty.  However, if he has not lost 3 pounds, he will be spanked every night until the next weekly weigh in.  The spankings will consist of 2 hard strokes with our heavy wooden bath brush (which Barry hates) for every pound he still has to lose. 

To insure that he understands the significance of losing 3 pounds per week and to give him significant motivation as he begins this program, he will be spanked each night during this first week.  I suspect that 40 with the bath brush will motivate him to watch his intake tomorrow.

For added motivation and to make sure he is constantly aware of his need to lose weight, he will also wear his red control punishment panties every day until he achieves his goal (I will go buy him two new pair tomorrow, so that we don't have to wash them every night).

I will also help him with what we have at home for breakfast and dinner and have healthy options from which he can take his lunch to work, instead of eating out each day (which has become his habit the past few years).

Of course, we will keep you posted as to how he is doing :-).

Susan

Losing my Cherry, So to Speak

Susan has been encouraging me (well, actually pushing me) to share my thoughts about our entry into the world of strap-on play. I resisted at first, but am now willing to share some more details, as well as my reaction to it.

For quite some time I have been very intrigued and arroused by photos of women wearing a strap-on, especially those in which the woman appears curious, kind, and funloving about it. I am not drawn to those that are more harsh, domineering, or cruel. So, I was quite excited when Susan told me about her plans for my special treat. I can't say I liked the idea of being in my cage and wearing lingerie all day at work. I am still afraid of someone discovering that little secret in the office. But, I obviously complied with her directions and they had the effect she desired on me - keeping my attention focused on what would happen that evening. I am constantly aware of my cage when I am in it. I am also constantly aware of the different feel of my trousers when they are worn over panties and stockings. They slide over my legs and my legs feel much more confined. So, I was constantly reminded all day of what would happen that night.

On the way home from work, I stopped at a Rite Aid to pick up a few things. At the risk of earning a spanking, I will share that Susan doesn't usually think of all the details for some of her little plans. I wanted to make sure that the details were provided for, so I purchased a Fleet enema, some condoms, and a large tube of KY jelly. I was sure that making sure my lower part was fully evacuated and the use of a condom would make things much more pleasant and easier to clean up for both of us. I also wanted to be sure she had plenty of lube!

When I arrived home, she saw the bag and asked what I had bought. She was a little upset with me for not relying on her. She acknowledged that she hadn't thought about the enema or the condoms. But she also told me that I had earned a spanking for my actions. It was not a punishment level spanking, but it was also not quite the erotic spanking she alluded to in her post.

After using the Fleet and showering, I arrived in the bedroom and dressed the was she directed. I was then required to lay over a pillow on the bed, so she could sit on the small of my back and spank me in a manner you see in this photo. I love to be spanked like that (except when it is true punishment). She worked all areas of my bottom quite well and I knew I had been spanked when she was done. But, I was also pretty erect throughout the whole process. When she was done she made me kneel in front of her and use my mouth on the strap-on. I resisted at first. But, when I realized I could hold her beautiful bottom in my hands while doing so, it became a very erotic experience for me.

She then decided it was time to take my cherry, so to speak. She was kind and asked how I wanted it. I asked her to take me from behind. But, I found I didn't like that very much. I didn't like not being able to see her. She then had me lie on my back at the edge of the bed and raise my legs. She stood and was at a perfect level. I confess that I loved it! I could watch her and she could watch me. She also had easy access to stimulate and tease me. Of course I loved that.

The entire experience is puzzling to me. It was different than I expected. But, very pleasant and erotic. Susan asked me if I have any "bi" thoughts, and I don't. If I was asked to do those things with a man, I would be completely repulsed. But, watching Susan's face and smile as she lubed up and gently pentetrated me was very erotic. I know I'm not doing a very good job of explaining. But, it is the best I can offer at this time.

Barry