Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My First Erotic Spanking

Ever since I started this blog, Barry has periodically talked about his desire to erotically spank me.  He knows I won't accept a punishment spanking from him, but he has wanted to spank me in a very pleasurable way.  I have always declined, but I think he could always tell that their has been some intrigue there for me.  He has also always promised that he will only use his hand lightly; and that all I have to do is say "Stop" if I don't find it enjoyable.  Well, I finally gave in on Saturday evening and received my first erotic spanking.  And ... I absolutely loved it.  I have debated whether I should share this with my readers (and if so, how many details to share); and I finally decided that I need to do so.  To not do so would violate my goal of honestly sharing the journey that Barry and I are experiencing.

The past weekend was planned to be special for Barry and me.  We have always had a tradition of trying to have everything ready for Christmas prior to the last weekend before Christmas, so we can just relax and enjoy time with family and the true meaning of Christmas.  Since our children have lived independently from us, we have established an incentive to achieve this goal by providing a reward for ourselves when we do.  If all preparations are completed, we spend that last weekend staying in a private cottage at a country inn that we both enjoy.  The cottages are never filled that weekend, so we can always make last minute reservations.  Since we have been on our current journey, this weekend has been even more special, since we know we will have a very private playroom where noise from our fun will not be an issue.  And, I don't know why, but 'playing' when we are away from home is always much more erotic and exciting than it is at home.

We did exactly that this past Saturday night.  We spent Saturday enjoying the day as we traveled to the inn. We checked in about 4 PM and made dinner reservations for 7 PM, knowing that we would want some special time to play after dinner.  I had packed two of Barry's favorite spanking toys (our 18" ruler and the paddle ball paddle).  I also packed special lingerie for Barry and I to wear to dinner.

Shortly after six we decided to begin getting ready and ended up in the shower together, which we each always enjoy.  When we emerged we had fun dressing each other.  I helped Barry get into a sexy pair of sheer panties after I placed the remote controlled vibrating ring at the base of his arroused penis and teased him about how much fun it was going to be to keep him arroused during dinner.  He loved helping me with my garter belt and stockings and a matching shelf bra/panty set, before I put on his favorite little black dress.

Dinner was completely enjoyable in a very quiet inn dining room.  I had a lot of fun playing with the remote control and Barry was obviously arroused the entire time.  That also kept me very excited.  We walked back to our cabin about 9 PM and Barry lit a fire in our fireplace, while I turned down the bed, poured us some wine, and laid out a few toys.

After we enjoyed a few sips of wine, I took Barry by the hand and brought him to his feet.  I then began undressing him down to his panties before sitting on the side of the bed and taking him over my lap.  I made sure he was nicely comfortable as I lightly rubbed and teased his bottom and scrotal area.  I then began to gently, but firmly spank him.  I took my time to rub his bottom and sexually tease him in between sets of smacks and the two paddles I had brought.  I wanted him to thoroughly enjoy this spanking.   I must have kept him over my lap for at least a 1/2 hour and by the time I was done I was spanking him quite hard and his bottom was a lovely shade of red.  When spanked in a playful way like that, Barry can take a fairly hard spanking and still stay arroused.  When I had him stand up, I realized that I had made a mistake by not taking off my dress, since Barry is very much an "oozer" when arroused.  However, the cleaning bill will be well worth the fun we had.

Barry then brought me to my feet so that we could hug and kiss a bit, at the end of which he lowered his hands to squeeze my bottom and whispered in my ear "Now it's your turn".  When I started to quietly resist, he said that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer and reminded me that all I had to do was say "Stop" if I didn't enjoy it.  I don't know whether it was the wine, the romantic location with fire, Barry's gentleness and persistance, or a combination of all of that (and maybe some other factors);  but all resistance left me at that moment.  I looked him in the eyes and smiled as I said "Be gentle and make sure I like it, because if I have to say 'stop', it will spoil this evening".

Barry then helped me remove my dress before he sat on the bed and gently drew me over his lap.  He placed a pillow under my head and took time to make sure I was comfortable.  He told me that he wanted to make sure I could just concentrate on what his hands were doing and asked me to just relax in the moment.  His hands began to roam:  his left hand over my panty covered bottom; his right hand on the backs of and between my thighs.  I have to confess that I clearly remember blatantly spreading my legs to give him better access.  He eventually began to lightly spank me with his left hand, while his right hand continued to tease my thighs and above. 

At some point the spanking came from his right hand while his left hand rubbed my back. Also, I vaguely remember feeling him lower my panties to somewhere down my thighs and felt his fingers doing heavenly things while he continued to spank me with the other hand.  Somehow it seemed like he had four hands and they were all doing things that seemed very pleasurable.  I also vaguely remember feeling the pressure of his penis on my belly, so I was cognizant of him be arroused as well. 

Again, it may have been the wine, but I felt completely relaxed and was totally enjoying the moment.  I had no idea how long I was over his lap (he later told me it was almost 45 minutes).  However, I do remember him saying "I'd like to give you ten harder spanks.  Do you think you'd like that?", to which I replied without thinking "Please do".  And he did.  They were somewhat harder and more rapid, but still very pleasant.  Then, I just laid there until Barry began to move me into lovemaking positions.  I'm not going to share those details.  All I need to share is that we had a heavenly time together with no inhibitions; and Barry tells me it was midnight when we stopped. 

I am still trying to understand my reaction to being spanked.  I knew that the thought of being gently spanked was intriguing to me prior to Saturday night.  However, I never expected the intensity of the reaction that I had.  Somehow the sensations of all that Barry was doing with his hands were transmitted to the heart of my sexual being.  I also never dreamed that Barry would know how to spank me in that way.  This was one of those wonderful surprises on our journey.  I don't know where it will lead us at this time.  However, it feels amazingly beautiful.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to each of you.  Our family will be arriving tomorrow and we will be busy for the next two weeks.  May each of you enjoy peace and joy in whatever beliefs or traditions you honor at this time of year.


PS - I couldn't resist including the above photos from Barry's collection.  Somehow, they seem to capture my mood and what I was feeling on Saturday evening with respect to the erotic spanking.  I only wish I was that young again :-).

Saturday, December 11, 2010

An Amazing Journey

I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since I've had chance to post.  This month just seems chaotic with all of the necessary Christmas preparations and work obligations.  Barry and I haven't even had much chance to enjoy special time together, which is frustrating to both of us.

However, last night we enjoyed a lengthy conversation over dinner (and a couple glasses of wine) about what an amazing journey we have been experiencing.  What really struck each of us is how much I have changed and how much I enjoy this new life.  It is also hard to believe that it has been over three years since Barry and I started this journey.  It didn't seem like I was making any major changes.  However, the cumulative effect of many individual changes is amazaing.  Barry has also undergone a significant number of changes, but that should be held for a separate blog entry.

Following are some of the differences that we each noticed in my behavior and my outlook on our sexual relationship.

Prior to learning that Barry was totally immersed in his fantasies and was masturbating daily rather than making love with me, I was very content with our very vanilla sex life.  I was completely satisfied with our almost exclusive use of the missionary position with Barry in control of both of our abilities to orgasm (I almost never did).  I hated the doggy and cowgirl positions which Barry periodically asked me to use (probably because the names he used for them didn't seem very romantic or lady-like).  Although I was willing to try it one time, I really hated the thoughts of giving oral stimulation to Barry (I hated it when he called it a blowjob).  I also really didn't enjoy handling Barry's genitals or looking at them.  And, I even didn't enjoy it when Barry wanted to orally stimulate me.  He could easily sense that, so he stopped trying to please me that way.  As you can imagine from the above confessions, our sexual activity was bland and boring.  That was primarily due to my unwillingness to be open to or try anything that I considered to be "dirty".

However, once I realized that our sex life was a disaster and agreed to try some new things with Barry (starting with spanking him), I found out that many of the things I previously hated were thoroughly enjoyable for both of us.  I think the photo collections he had also helped show me that the things he wanted to try weren't dirty, but were erotic.  Most of his photos don't look like pornography, but have an erotic nature to them.  These changes didn't happen to me overnight.  But they did slowly happen. 

The first major hurdle was being willing and able to spank him.  That was completely foreign to me.  I couldn't imagine inflicting pain on him.  However, as I learned that he enjoyed and craved a significant level of pain from spanking, I was able and willing to do that.  I also learned that a severe punishment spanking was a way of correcting some of his behaviors that were unacceptable to me.  However, I still find it difficult and unpleasant to administer a severe discipline spanking to him.  I know that it works and that he accepts me doing that, but it is not fun for either of us.  I would much rather spank him at a level that allows him to remain erect (which involves a pretty significant spanking for him).  I would also find other ways to discipline him and change his behavior.  I have had some success with that.

I now like to control our sexual activity and we seldom use missionary.  I love to ride Barry (I still don't call it 'cowgirl') because it gives me the control of each of our pleasure.  I even occasionally have him take me from behind, but we don't refer to it as 'doggy'.  It gives him more control, which is a gift I am willing to give sometimes.  It also seems to provide deeper penetration and he provides a pleasure I don't feel in other positions.  I also now enjoy providing and receiving oral stimulation.  However, I still hate the term 'blowjob' and I won't bring him to orgasm with my mouth.  I just love to orally stimulate and tease him.  I also love to tease him with my genitals close to his face, since it raises his excitement level.

Another major area of change is my willingness to wear sexy lingerie.  Barry has always wanted me to wear garters and stockings and sensual bra/panty sets.  However, I was previously stuck in granny wear.  I now love to dress up for him, especially at home.  I'm also getting braver when we go out, as long as we are going someplace where we won't run into someone we know.  It is also a very effective way of keeping his undivided attention on me.
Shaving Barry and putting him in stockings and panties is also a huge change.  Four years ago I would have thought that was sick.  I didn't even enjoy seeing him naked.  Now I love to see and touch his smooth genitals and to encase them in sheer nylon.  I also now love teasing and playing with his genitals.  I think that keeping him shaved has played a huge role in changing my interests in this area.
Four years ago I didn't even feel comfortable talking with Barry about sexual interests, let alone sharing the things I've written above.  I still can't talk about these things with anyone but Barry or in this blog that is read by people I don't know.  However, this blog has been a huge change for me.  I want to express my appreciation to each of you who have openly accepted what I have shared without judgement and have encouraged me by seeing value in my sharing.  Without that acceptance and encouragement, I would not be doing this.

There are still things I have no interest in doing (and may never have any interest in them).  However, that doesn't stop Barry from occasionally raising a new interest that excites him.  I also now raise some interests with Barry.  Some things I am willing to talk about and try.  Some things are still very taboo in my mind and I can't go there.  However, the important thing is that we talk about them.  I am willing to draw a line when I need to do so, and Barry is accepting of that.  He knows when not to push something.
I am hopeful that he and I will continue to grow together as we explore new areas of interest.  I also hope to be able to continue to share more about how we are doing that through this blog.

Thank you everyone.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

New Followers and Comments

Barry and I have been away for almost a week and are still trying to catch up on things.  However, I would like to express my appreciation to the new followers who have joined this blog in the last two weeks and for all of the comments that each of you have been offering.  I also realize that I have not done very well in responding to some of your emails.

Barry and I are truly on a journey as we explore this new aspect of our lives.  I find myself changing how I feel in many ways and will try to begin to address some of those thoughts in future posts.  Many of your comments have helped me in numerous ways, so I want each of you to know how much I appreciate them, even if I have not done a very good job of giving you feedback.

Thank you very much.  I will do my best to provide more feedback in the future.  However, I am also aware that the next month is going to be a very busy time for everyone.


A "Sensational" Evening

I hope everyone had a very enjoyable Thanksgiving.  Barry and I had a wonderful trip and didn't arrive home until late Sunday evening.  We each have spent the past two days trying to catch up with things around home and at work.  Barry also has a meeting tonight.  He doesn't know it yet, but I'm planning to give him a very nice 'fun' spanking when he arrives home.  We didn't have much privacy while we were away, so we are each craving some special time together.

However, before that happens, I'd like to keep my promise to share a bit about our fun night when we returned to the restaurant where Barry got in to trouble.  Before we left the house, we showered together, which is always fun and I took the opportunity to make sure Barry was clean shaven and silky smooth from the waist down.  I always enjoy doing that and Saturday night was no exception.  When I got ready to rinse him off, I purposely adjusted the water just a little bit warmer than usual before I used the handheld shower on him.  It was delightful to watch him squirm as the warmer water found his genitals and anal area.  It wasn't hot enough to burn him, but it certainly got his attention :-).  I then took him into the bedroom where I turned him over my knee for a good handspanking during which I liberally applied after shave.  His bottom was quite tender from being shaved and he really enjoyed the hand spanking.

I then dressed him in garter belt and stockings before producing a surprise gift I had recently purchased for him.  I made him close his eyes while I placed the ring of the remote control vibrator that you see pictured here over his penis, with the vibrator portion positioned between his penis and his belly.  I then pulled a pair of control panties on him to hold everything nicely in place before allowing him to open his eyes.  He obviously knew something was there, and he had  some ideas, but I didn't tell him exactly what it was at that time.  I just told him that he'd find out later :-).

I then put on Barry's favorite garter belt, stockings, and panties, along with a shelf bra that I normally only wear in the bedroom for him.  It holds my breasts up nice and high (a benefit at my age) and leaves most of my breasts exposed.  Barry loves for me to wear it when I ride him in bed.  I then dressed in a nicely snug black skirt, somewhat revealing blouse, and a black vest.  The blouse didn't leave much to the imagination due to the shelf bra.  However, the vest allowed me to keep things covered when I wanted to do so.  I planned to keep Barry's attention during dinner, and I did.

Whne we arrived at the restaurant, before we got out of the car, I told Barry that I expected him to focus his attention on me and that I did not want to have a repeat performance of our last visit.  I also warned him that if he didn't behave, the consequences would be much more severe this time.  I then showed him the remote control for the vibrator that was on his penis.  As I turned it on, I told him that any time I switched it on, it was a reminder to focus his attention on me and not the waitresses or other women in the restaurant.  Just to make sure it was positioned correctly, I felt his package and turned the vibrator on and off several times watching for his reaction.  I also told him that if he felt the need to go to the bathroom, he had better make sure it was positioned correctly when he was done (letting him know that I would check it when we returned home).

When we entered the restaurant, we ended up sitting at the same table we did the last time and had the same waitress.  She seemed to remember us, but I wasn't sure and I didn't say anything.  She was dressed in a very similar manner as the last time.  As she approached our table for the first time, I switched the remote to high, causing Barry to squirm a bit.  I must admit it was fun to watch him while our friend took our drink orders.  Barry had to look at her when he spoke to her, but he would then immediately return his gaze to me.  At the same time, I let my vest open a bit more to give him something fun to look at.  We went through this routine every time the waitress was near us.  I also periodically used the remote control at different levels just to keep Barry on his best behavior.  It was really a very effective and delightful toy.  I suspect I will use it quite frequently in the future.

When we returned home, we immediately went to the bedroom.  I directed Barry to remove everything but his garter belt, stockings, and control panty.  I also stripped down to my lingerie.  I then had Barry stand in front of me while I removed his controly panty and the vibrator.  I then took him over my knee again, positioning his penis between my thighs, much like Deirdre does with Evan (See Spanking My Husband).  I love feeling his penis between my thighs and I planned to spank Barry in a way that would keep him nice and hard.  I used our 18 inch ruler at an intensity that gave him the amount of sting he enjoys and reddened his bottom very quickly.  I applied it at a steady pace for quite some time, so that he would have a nicely sore bottom.  I had decided that this was going to be a "sensational" evening, meaning Barry was going to experience lots of sensations.  However, before we got to that, I planned to have him address my needs.  To that end, when I let Barry off my lap, I had him kneel in front of me as I removed my panties.  He took things from there and provided the first of two pleasure trips for me that evening.

I then told Barry it was his turn.  I put him on his back on the bed with a pillow under his bottom to elevate his pelvis, and then tied his wrists and ankles to the bedposts.  The pillow helped expose his genitals and area below his scrotum, along with his inner thighs to me.  I also laid a scarf over his eyes so he couldn't see what I was going to do.  I then retrieved the various pervertibles I planned to use to provide a variety of sensations for him during the next hour.

My list of toys included:
  • Ice cubes;
  • Wet wash cloth that I heated in the microwave oven to produce a well warmed damp cloth like flight attendents used to distribute on transcontinental flights;
  • Hairbrush cleaning tool - looks like a very small metal rack (see photo below);
  • Sonicare electric toothbrush;
  • Hair dryer;
  • Electric vibrator;
I'm not going to go into great detail.  However, for at least an hour I used each of the above toys to tease and torment Barry.  In between, I positioned myself above his face so that he could show his appreciation to me.

All of the toys were fun.  However, besides the obvious electric vibrator, the ones that most got Barry's attention and frustrated him were the brush cleaner and the electric toothbrush.  I especially loved using the toothbrush.  It was very effective every place I used it:  inner thighs, scrotum, area behind scrotum, shaft, and especially on the head of his penis.  That drove him absolutely crazy (me, too).

I suspect that things were somewhat more intensified due to him not being able to see what I was using, but I'm not sure.

In the end, I got on top and rode him so he could enjoy my shelf bra, while I reached behind with the toothbrush on his scrotum.  It didn't take long for him to explode in what I suspect was the most intense orgasm I have seen him have.

It was definitely a "Sensational" evening for both of us and I am very glad that Barry behaved at the restaurant.

This is a photo of the Fuller Brush hairbrush cleaning tool that has been around our home since the early years of our marriage.  I never thought of using to tease Barry until last week.  However, it is very effective especially on his thighs, scrotum, and penis.


Monday, November 22, 2010

Traveling for the Holidays

First, I would like to express my appreciation for all of the kind and supportive comments I have recently received.  I would also like to share that Barry and I had a wonderful evening on Saturday (even though we had the same waitress).  There is a lovely story to be told, but due to family issues with respect to elderly parents and our plans to travel for Thanksgiving, I am not going to have time to appropriately share details this week.

I also want to express my appreciation for the very kind emails I have received during the past week, to which I haven't had chance to respond.  I feel very guilty about that.  Please forgive me.  I will do my best to catch up when we return.

Happy Thanksgiving to all ... I hope you each have a joyous holiday during which you can feel thankgiving for a wonderful life.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Fun Night Tonight

Barry and I have plans to go out to dinner again tonight ... to the restaurant we visited several weeks ago when he got into trouble.  I've decided that it is time to test his behavior.  I will shave him before we go and Barry doesn't know it yet, but we will both be dressed in our finest lingerie again:  garter belts, stockings, and panties.  I love it when we go out and I know he is dressed that way under his suit.  I also have some special plans for him during dinner and afterwards.
I am truly hoping that Barry behaves himself tonight, because I really want us to have some special play time when we return home.  I know that I need it, and I am sure that he does too.

Hopefully he learned his lesson the last time.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

What is it about this Panty and Girdle Thing?

Panties certainly seem to be the hot topic this week, so I can't resist sharing our thoughts.  They are always a hot topic for Barry; and to a lesser extent, for me.  When I discovered Barry's fetish interests and his extensive collection of photographs, the number of photos of that focused on panties, stockings, and/or girdles was second only to spanking.  The photos of women in panties didn't surprise me, because Barry has always tried to find ways to get me to wear sexy lingerie both in and out of the house.  However, the number of photos he had of men wearing panties was a huge surprise.  When we talked about his interest in panties, he couldn't explain it any better than what I am reading in the blogs this week.  He shared some of the same stories I have read this week about the Sears catalog, sneaking into panty drawers (including mine), etc.  He can't explain it.  He just finds women's panties and stockings exciting.

From the beginning of our marriage, it was clear that he wanted me to wear sexy panties with a garter belt and stockings.  That was completely foreign to me.  However, I tried to be accomodating.  I was not comfortable at that time wearing them out of the house, but I would dress like that in the bedroom for him.  It was very apparent that it had a very positive effect on him.  Before I discovered his photo collection, I used to think it was just a 'visual' thing, since I understand that men need much more visual stimulation than women.  However, now I have come to believe it is much more.  However, I don't know what it is.  The suggestions this week about closeness to the female sex organ and the 'scent' of a woman all may play a role in it.  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could do a study and figure out just what it is.

Let me now throw another question out there.  When I saw Barry's collection of photos of men wearing panties, I found myself being arroused.  I had never thought about such things, but there I was feeling sexually stimulated.  I was especially intrigued by men who were clean shaven in that area wearing sheer or lace panties.  I loved seeing the way the panties clung to and hugged the shape of the male genitals.  I have done some exploring of the internet, I don't think I'm the only woman who reacts this way.  So, what is it that causes this type of reaction?

I was also very struck by the photo that John Throckmortin posted in his "Punishment Panties" post in Spankable Husband.  That was the impetus for me purchasing "punishment panties" for Barry.  What triggered that in me?  I confess that I can't explain it, but I was enthralled by the thought that I could incorporate something that was very exciting to Barry as part of his punishment.  Hence, I decided to find a way to use panties to remind Barry that he had been punished.

Oh ... our minds work in so many strange ways that we can't explain.  I feel like I have provided more questions than answers.  However, I couldn't resist joining this wonderful conversation about panties.

Ken at Spanked by my Lady has also address panty aspect, but has also included the fascination and power of girdles.  This is something that intrigues me.  I also plan to explore it with Barry from several aspects.  I want to see what his reaction will be to me wearing a panty girdle (I find it a bit exciting); and I also am toying with the idea of making him wear one.  I must confess that I am wondering what it would look like if I cut a small hole in the appropriate place of a panty girdle that would allow his genitals to be exposed while he wears the girdle.  I think that could be a lot of fun :-).


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Caught Red Handed

Saturday evening is usually our weekly shaving and play time (at least whenever we can).  However, last night we had dinner plans with friends, so we decided to postpone those activities until tonight.  While we were getting ready to go out, I had finished in our master bathroom and Barry was taking a shower.  The door to the bedroom was open, as it usually is due to steam buildup.  I realized that I had forgotten to brush my teeth, so I started to walk into the bathroom.  Barry didn't hear or see me, because he was standing in the shower with his back to the door.  Through the glass shower walls, it was easy to see what he was doing.   I decided to just stand in the doorway and watch.  It didn't take him long to finish his task.  As he did so, I announced my presence with "Did you find that enjoyable?"

He turned around with a shocked look on his face and mumbled that it wasn't what I thought.  "I was just washing myself" he said.  "Oh really", I said as I sat on the dressing stool.  "Then come on out and let me give you a quickie to hold you over until tomorrow."  He eventually walked over to me and I began to play with his package, including taking him in my mouth, which I know he loves.  Guess what?  He couldn't become erect.  "Do you still want to stick with the story that you were just washing yourself?", I asked.  Much to my surprise, he did.

"All right, my friend.  You've just earned one heck of a punishment for masturbating AND lying to me!  Put your hands on the counter and take a good look at yourself in the mirror while I get things ready.  Don't you dare dry yourself or move away from the mirror."

I gathered the wooden bathbrush that hangs by the tub and gathered a few more things that I wanted to use and took them into the bedroom, where I also took out a pair of red control panties that I had purchased last week after reading a blog about punishment panties.  I didn't expect to get to use them this soon.

I placed a pillow in the middle of the bed and concealed all but the hairbrush under another pillow I announced, "Alright Barry, get yourself out here."  When he timidly arrived, I directed him to lay over the pillow in the middle of the bed and to spread his legs.  After he did so, I sat on his back with my knees on either side of him.  I then proceed to use the bathbrush in a very rhythmic fashion, spanking all over his bottom at a uniform pace while I lectured and discussed his behavior with him.  This was not a play or fun type spanking.  There was no warm up and I really wasn't interested in hearing Barry's excuses.  I'm not sure how many spanks he got with the hairbrush, but he was bright red and pleading with me to stop long before I stopped.

When I did stop, I stayed seated on his back and reached under the other pillow.  Retrieving a bottle of aftershave lotion I had placed there, I applied it liberally to his red bottom (I should express a special thank you to one of the readers who suggested I do this to Barry).  I told Barry that I want to make sure he thinks about this punishment all evening, so he is going to wear some new special panties I bought for him; and showed him the red control panties which I purposely purchased on the small side of what size he normally wears.  I also added "These should keep the heat in your bottom for quite some time.  (Thank you Spankable Husband for your blog entry about 'Punishment Panties'.  That is wat sparked this idea.)  However, before you put them on, I also want to make sure you remember what got you in troubl tonight."  With that said, I stood up and sat on the edge the bed and directed Barry to get up and stand in front of me.  I then took out the tube of IcyHot Gel I had placed there.  I then rubbed just a very small amount onto the shaft of his penis and his scrotum.  I had never done this before, so I used a very small amount and made sure I kept it away from his glans.  I then had him step into his new punishment panties and sent him back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.  The panties were very snug on him, as I had hoped they would be and I made sure I had them pulled up nice and tight.

When we returned home after dinner, I told Barry that I wanted him to sleep in his panties that night.  He confided in me this morning that they were very effective in reminding him of his sore bottom.  When I asked him about the Icy Hot, he told me that it was a bit stingy for about an hour and it made it difficult for him to not think about his genitals and his spanked bottom.

Overall, I think I got his attention last night.  This evening I will shave him and we will have some fun.  I will definitely expect to be pleased by him.   However, since he had his orgasm last night, I plan to do a lot of teasing for a lengthy time and I have not yet decided how to end it yet.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Comments to Pervertibles

It was wonderful to have so many of you share comments about how you have handled the concerns that Barry and I have about being discovered.  I need to confess that most of our concerns about what toys we have in the house come from me.  However, we both are also very much aware that it would be extremely detrimental if anyone in our community learned about it due to the roles we play here.

It was really encouraging to hear how many of you have been open with your children.  I would like to think we could do the same thing under appropriate circumstances.  However,  I'm not sure how our daughters would react to our interests and activities. Conseqeuntley, it is very difficult for me to envision it.  Thank you for the encouragement.

George:  I really liked the way you and your wife decided to handle your discovery.  And it sounds like your children were great! 
Rob:  I had to smile when you mentioned the Cracker Barrel paddle.  Barry tried to find one in our area, but none of the stores seemed to have them, and we were too embarrassed to ask.

Rachel:  It is wonderful that you can be so open with your children.  It is also interesting that some of them have similar interests.  Barry and I have had numerous discussions about how much of this type of thing is genetic.  To our knowledge, neither of our parents had any tendencies about spanking.  However, that generation would have probably not acted on them.  I'm also intrigued about the long thin table idea you mentioned as a spanking bench.  That might work for us.  I'll explore it more fully.

Ron: The hairbrush and bathbrush are the implements that Barry loves to hate.  The rice paddle also falls into that category unless I use it lightly.  I like your "Guess the Paddle" game.  What happens when you guess wrong?

Ken:  You and Cora are amazing, and are an inspiration with respect to your openness and your willingness to share.  Thank you.  I must confess I have a hard time picturing what reaction you might get from first time guests in your home when they see your paddles.  How openly are they displayed?  Do some guests try to ignore them?  Or, does everyone ask?  I had to chuckle about your recommendation for the Jokari paddle.  We have seen that on eBay and other places.  However, Barry's immediate reaction was "No, we are not going to have that in the house!"  :-)  I'm sure you have convinced him that he is correct.  Since, I can very effectively get his attention with other implements, I don't think I'll push it.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010


A few weeks ago, Barry and I made the decision to remove all bdsm type play equipment from the house and to rely solely on pervertibles (ordinary non-sexual, everyday household objects, that can be used sexually, particularly in bdsm play and spanking).  We didn't have much, but we had ordered a few specialty paddles that were clearly not normal household objects.  Our action was initiated mostly out of the fear of having such items discovered by our children when they come to visit.

So, we are now a pervertible couple :-).  It is pretty easy with respect to spanking toys and even bondage.  I rely on several of Barry's old neckties or some scarves to secure Barry to the bed.  Spanking tools are also readily available, as evidenced by the samples below, most of which were purchased from eBay:

Wonderful wooden hairbrush that is not too heavy.  It can be used for fun or punishment.

Good solid bath brush that I use solely for punishment spankings.  Barry absolutely hates it.

This thin wooden paddle (with the ball removed) provides wonderful sting for fun spankings.

I love this wooden oven paddle.  It is a bit thicker than the paddle above, but still light enough to provide lots of sting.

A wonderful old fashioned ruler that is heavy enough to provide good sting across both cheeks.

Based on the way Barry reacts to this rice paddle, it is the stingiest item we own.  

I like to spank with sting, lots and lots of sting when spanking for fun, but also like to add the heavier brushes for the few times I need to administer a punishment spanking.

I'm continually on the lookout for new 'stingy' pervertibles, so please let me know if you have any ideas.

I also would love to have a spanking bench like the one depicted below.  It is one that Deirdre Spanking my Husband uses.  She has been on hiatus for several months and I really miss her blog.  I love the way her husband is secured to it and how it exposes his package for teasing.  However, I am afraid to have one in the house.  Does anyone have any ideas of some type of pervertible I could use to secure Barry in the same type of position.  It looks like such fun :-).

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Joy of the Male Organ

Lady Grey of WOMAN IN CONTROL recently posted Let's Hear it for the Cock) in which she talks about how much she enjoys her husband's penis.  I must confess that I found her perspective very refreshing and clearly in line with how I feel.  I don't want this to sound like a rant about those who want to keep their husbands' genitals locked up and never let them climax, because it is not.  We all have different feelings, needs, and wants.  I enjoy learning about other view points.  However, I also realize that mine happen to be more similar to those of Lady Grey than to some of the other FLR blog authors I have read.

I love Barry's genitals.  I love seeing his penis and scrotal sack cleanly shaved and encased in sheer white panties.  I also love playing with them, feeling his penis twitch and pulse in my hand when he is excited; and watching his reaction as I tease them.  And, I love feeling his penis inside me.  Nothing is more satisfying to me than when I have him bound to the bed and I can sit on and ride him with his penis inside me.  I love to be able to feel it pulse and move as I move my body to stimulate both of us.  I also love the sense of control I have over its depth and the speed/rhythm in which we move together.  By riding him in that fashion, I can control the type of pleasure his penis offers me and for how long.  What used to be short and sweet "Thank you Maam" sessions are now prolonged sessions of intercourse and lovemaking.  I seldom let him climax within me, not because I don't want him to climax, but because I like to watch him climax and to control exactly when and how he gets pleasure.  I don't want to deprive him of that pleasure, I just want to control it.  If you were to talk with him, Barry would tell you that his climaxes are more satisfying to him than when he used to control when they occurred.

Barry previously had a problem with excessive masturbation, so he is now forbidden to do so unless I am with him and direct him.  I don't have a cage for him at this time (although I am thinking about one).  However, if he breaks the masturbation rule, he is severely spanked as a punishment. And, Barry has learned that I can usually tell if he has cheated.  The reason for the rule is not to punish or deprive him sexually.  I want him to enjoy sexual pleasure just as much as I do, but I want him to share that sexual pleasure with me and not just his hand.

I really love to sexually tease Barry for a lengthy period of time while he is bound to the bed.  I can do that while I am riding his penis or by using my hands or toys while I am presenting myself to him for oral pleasure.  I also love to lay beside him on the bed and tease him with hands, toys, and even my lips.  A gentle kiss or lick of his glans can drive him crazy because he would love to receive full oral pleasure from me.  That never occurs, but the teasing does.  I love to watch his face whenever I am teasing or pleasing him.  When I finally bring him to an orgasm, I also love to watch his penis explode and pulse and throb.  It is a beautiful part of his anatomy that is capable of providing great pleasure to both of us.

So, thank you Lady Grey for expressing your viewpoint about the benefits of the male organ so well.  I enjoy your blog and you helped me feel very good about how I treat Barry.  I wholeheartedly agree:  Let's Hear it for the Cock!  :-)


PS - Barry chose the photos to depict some aspects that he enjoys

Saturday, November 6, 2010

An Interesting Blog

I just discovered what I think is a very interesting blog.  It is  I am a submissive husband.  I just read all of the posts and found them quite enlightening.  I am now trying to process them in hopes of better understanding Barry.  I'm not sure where it will lead, but I plan to continue reading it.


A Wonderful New Spanking Position

Earlier this week one of my favorite blogs (MaamYesMaam.blogspot.com) posted a delightful video of a spanking being administered in this position.  I had never used this position, so I tried it last evening after shaving Barry.  It was absolutely wonderful.  It provided me with a perfect view and access to not only Barry's smooth bottom, but also his genitals, which I could easily tease or squeeze in between spanking rounds and implements.  It wasn't as comfortable for Barry, but he seemed to enjoy the change of pace.

It's always fun to find ways to change things up and be creative.  If you have other ideas for us to try, please share them with us.


PS - Don't forget to turn your clocks back tonight.


Add caption
Last evening was shaving time in our household for Barry's genitals and bottom.  I love to keep him as smooth as possible, so it normally means a weekly shaving, which I perform.  We have a large walkin shower in our master bathroom that has a  built-in seat and a shower nozzle on a hose.  I sit on the stool and use shaving gel and Barry's safety razor on him.  The hardest area to see and shave is, of course, his sack.  However, it is always a fun evening that culminates with the application of after shave lotion to create some sting, followed by a good, hard, but playful spanking.

Lately, I've been wondering about the possibility of using some sort of electric razor or groomer on Barry.  I would be less messy, which would allow us to do it in the bedroom.  I also thought the vibrations from an electric unit might make it a bit more arrousing for Barry (although, he is always hard when I'm shaving him.

Does anyone have any experience or recommendations about using something electric for this purpose.  I basically shave Barry from his waist to mid-thighs.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Follow Up to Saturday Night

Last night Barry and I sat down at the computer to explore some things together (all exploration of porn sites by Barry is done with me at his side).  Our current routine is for him to be naked, except for a pair of panties that I choose for him to wear.  We sit side by side on two chairs and I control the mouse and keyboard.  I like being able to watch his level of arrousal for each site we visit.  I also like to be able to touch and tease him whenever I want :-).  It is usually a fun time, because I find myself feeding off his interests and explore things I would have never dreamed about.

As we explored various sites last night, it gave me a chance to talk with Barry in more detail about what happened Saturday night.  I learned that he was humiliated about having to go to the men's room and masturbate, but that he did it because he hates receiving a punishment spanking immediately after having an orgasm.  The men's room was very busy and, even though he was in a stall, he felt like other men probably heard sounds of what he was doing because I had told him he needed to do it quickly.  He also later realized that his pants and panties were around his ankles, so they could have been seen below the stall walls.

We also talked about what happened after we got home.  It was a love/hate relationship for him.  He loved being sexually teased, but he hated being continually denied for so long.  He also loved having me ride him, but the slowness of how I did it was completely frustrating to him.  I shared with him how much I loved riding his cock in a way that was very stimulating and satisfying to me and that I planned to do much more of that in the future.  I really found that to be extremely satisfying.  We also talked about my forcing myself on him orally.  It turns out that we each loved it. (Oral stimulation has previously been something that has been uncomfortable to each of us in some ways. Consequently, it should probably be the subject of a separate posting.)

Our internet explorations also led to viewing some interesting products that I may have an interest in purchasing for Barry.  One was a Venus 2000 unit that would manually stimulate Barry at whatever rate/pace I choose.  From what I read, I could hook him up to it and slowly stimulate/tease him for hours without having him climax.  Based on what he said about Saturday night,perhaps that could be a real punishment.  Saturday night also caused me to think about how I might find a way to remotely stimulate Barry whenever I wanted.  We found a remotely controlled vibrating ring that offers some interesting possibilities.  I need to do some more research.  I also find it very interesting that Barry seems interested in these types of devices that will probably cause him much frustration.

Needless to say, our journey is continuing.


PS - I hope everyone has voted today, no matter how you voted.  It is a wonderful freedom that we all enjoy and I don't take it for granted.

PPS - Barry and I will be away for the rest of the week.  He has a short business trip and I am going to travel with him.

Monday, November 1, 2010

A Different Punishment

Saturday night turned into a very interesting time for both Barry and me.  We had not had any 'play' time or lovemaking for over a week.  I was particularly frustrated by that, as well as by the very hectic week of work I had experienced. So, late Saturday afternoon, I finally said to Barry that we were going out to dinner to a new restaurant in the city approximately 1/2 hour from us; and that we will then come home and have special time together (spanking and lovemaking).

I called and made a reservation for us.  As we were showering and getting ready, I told Barry that we were going to 'dress up' for the occasion.  I laid out a special bra/panty/garter belt combination and stockings that I know Barry loves on me (and which I normally only wear in the bedroom).  He got a big smile on his face and said "You mean I am going to have to sit through a dinner knowing you are wearing that?"   I then laid out a second pair of panties, garter belt, and stockings and said "Yes, and I'm going to sit through dinner knowing you are wearing these".  He started to protest, but quickly realized that my mind was made up.  I have previously made Barry wear panties outside the house, but never a garter belt and stockings.  I just couldn't resist the opportunity for us each to do something new and very sexy.  I did allow him to wear dress socks over the stockings, so nothing would show :-). 
After he put them on, I turned him over my knee for a pleasant warm-up spanking, just to make sure he was as horny as I was before we left.  We arrived at the restaurant and were promptly seated at a small table that allowed us some privacy, but also a view of the restaurant.  Our waitress arrived and introduced herself and I immediately sensed that this was going to be a difficult evening for Barry.  She was young enough to be our daughter and very well proportioned.  She was also dressed in a way that accented every curve of her body, which were plentiful.  She looked professional, but her fitted blouse left nothing to the imagination, including the fact that she was wearing a demi-cup bra which shared lots of cleavage.  Her skirt was of an appropriate length, was just tight enough to hug her derrierre in a way that showed a hint of her panty lines and the curves of her back cleavage.  I knew Barry would not be able to resist staring.  It also quickly became apparent that she was well aware of her physical beauty and her charm, and planned to use them whenever she visited our table.  I suspect that was her way of assuring a good tip at the end of a meal.  She always bent over whenever she served Barry, providing him with ample opportunity to enjoy her breasts.  And, when she walked away from him there was plenty of sway.

I quickly reminded him to be careful, unless he wanted the evening to end in a punishment spanking, instead of a playful one followed by lovemaking.  By the time we had a drink and shared an appetizer, it was clear that our waitress had Barry's attention more than I did, so I informed him that he had earned a punishment spanking when we get home (which he knows will be a hairbrush spanking after he has had an orgasm).   He began to profusely apologize and beg me to give him another chance.  I didn't really want to give him a punishment spanking if I didn't have to do so, since that would mean no lovemaking afterwards.  So, I decided to offer him another option.  I told him that I would consider an alternative punishment tonight if he followed my every instruction all evening and kept his eyes on me for the rest of the night instead of on our waitress.  He quickly agreed, so I gave him his first instruction.  I took both of his hands in mine across the table and quietly told him that I wanted him to go into the men's room and masturbate into his hankerchief for me and bring it back to the table, so that I could confirm that he had done it.  He began to protest until I reminded him of the alternative of being spanked immediately after an orgasm.  As he got up from the table, I suggested he be quick about it and be back when our salads arrived.

Barry didn't quite make it back in time, which was OK.  I don't know what came over me, but I decided to have a little conversation with our waitress when she brought our salads.  I asked her how long she had been waitressing and learned that she was relatively new.  I then quietly shared some advice with her.  I let her know that it was obvious to me that she was trying to tease my husband, which I suspected was for the purpose of getting a good tip.  I also advised her that I was going to be paying the bill this evening and determining her tip, so that it would behoove her to pay more attention to my satisfaction instead of attempting to arrouse my husband.  Just as Barry returned to the table, I added that he had already earned himself a punishment when he arrives home for ogling her so much.  Barry immediately turned crimson as our waitress quickly departed.

Barry showed me his hankerchief, which when partially unfolded revealed a lovely ivory colored wet spot of quite some size.  I complimented him on complying so quickly and suggested we enjoy the rest of the meal together.  He kept his eyes fixed on me for the rest of the evening and our waitress essentially ignored him during each visit to the table.  I guess I must have made an impression on her :-).

The trip home was fun.  I queried Barry about his trip to the bathroom and made him give me a detailed description of the layout of the room and how many other men came and went while he was doing his chore.   He didn't know what to say when I asked him if anyone could see his stockings and panties below the stall walls.  I also let him know that masturbating had been just the beginning of his alternative punishment and that I had more plans for him when we arrived home.  When we arrived home I directed him to go directly to the bedroom and to remove everything but his panties, garter belt, and stockings and to lie on the bed; and to NOT touch himself.  I went into the bathroom to freshen up and remove all but my underthings. 

When I came into the bedroom, Barry was on the bed with an erection.  By the looks of his panties, it was clear that he had been hard and oozing precum most of the evening.  I wondered how much of that had occurred before my talk with him and the waitress.

I then proceed to bind Barry to the bedposts in a spreadeagle position while I told him that he was in for a long night, explaining that I was very much in need of attention and planned to get it from him.  I also told him that under no circumstances was he allowed to have an orgasm unless I gave him permission.  If he did so without permission, it would mean an immediate punishment spanking.  Since he was still wearing his panties and stockings, I pulled the panties down in the front to expose his entire package to whatever I desired to do with him.

For the next two hours, I had my way with Barry.  I continually teased him to the edge and then backed off.  I rode him slowly and gently (which is how I like it), playing with my clitoris at the same time.  He had to control himself to assure that he didn't orgasm, as I frequently reminded him of the consequences.  I also made sure he had plenty of opportunity to use his tongue on me and he brought me to two orgasms.

After my second orgasm, I asked him if he thought he deserved to orgasm.  Of course he thought he did.  I toyed with him some more as I told him that I wasn't sure if I would let him climax.  However, I was going to keep stimulating him, which I did.

I pulled his panties back up over his penis and I got out our electric vibrator and began to use it to repeatedly bring him to the edge.  Every time he got close, I would shut it off and then play with his balls and thighs for a few minutes.   After a half hour of that, he was getting frantic, so I told him that I decided that he could have an orgasm, but that I was going to ruin it for him.  I brought him just to the point of climax several more times, each time turning off the vibrator before he could climax.  I finally kept it on until I could tell he was ready to explode.  As he yelled that he was going to cum, I shut if off again.  But this time he was at the point of no return.  This time I stopped all physical contact with him and just watched as he continued to shake and shutter and produce a sizable pool of semen in his panties.  He experienced his first ruined orgasm!  Since his hands were tied, he couldn't do anything about it but moan and groan.  As he begged and pleaded for me to continue, I couldn't resist commenting that I thought a ruined orgasm was one of his fantasies.

I then left him tied on the bed while I went into the kitchen and returned with a spoon.  I told him he was now going to experience another one of his fantasies.  I used the spoon to collect semen from his belly and panties and fed it to him until all of it was gone.  I finally left him on the bed again while I went to the bathroom and cleaned up and got ready for bed.  When I returned, I untied his hands and feet while I asked him how he liked his alternative punishment.  It was clear that he didn't like the ruined orgasm.  However, I also don't think it was as effective of a punishment as spanking him with a hairbrush just after climaxing.  But, it was a fun evening for me.  I loved teasing and denying him so many times and watching him squirm.  It was definitely a new sense of power that I will use again.

I asked Barry to share more of his thoughts with me as I wrote this entry, but he wouldn't do so.  I don't think he really likes me sharing so many details of our current activities.  I decided not to push it.  However, I did make him select the photos that you see. I think he did a good job of portraying a sense of our evening.  I especially love the photo he chose to depict himself in red panties with black stockings/garter belt after we got home.  That was basicallyh how he was dressed and it very effectively shows how excited he was (and what I had to work with).  I also love the first photo he chose to depict me as we got dressed for the evening.  I only wish I looked that trim and erotic.  I'd like to think that is how I look to him (at least in his fantasies).

Saturday evening gave me more new ideas.  I continue to enter a whole new world, and it continues to be exciting on many levels.


Friday, October 29, 2010

It's Been a Long Time

Where did this week go?  I can't believe it is Friday and I haven't posted for over three days.  Work has been a zoo and the calendar for the weekend is stretched to its limits.

Hopefully, Barry and I will have some time this weekend for his bottom to be warmed, at least in a playful way.  We both need it.

Next week, things should settle down a bit.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Barry's Role in this Blog

I thought I should take a moment to share where Barry is with respect to supporting and participating in this blog.  I would like him to submit entries that share things from his point of view, but he is not very comfortable doing that at this time.  However, he supports my effort to share how we made the transition, where it has taken us, and what we are doing now.  He reviews and helps me edit each entry.  He also selects and enters the photographs that are sometimes included.  They are from his huge collection that I discovered and the photos he selects reflect his reaction to what I have written.


A Defining Moment,Part 3

So, there I was with Barry lying on his back on the bed.  The first thing I did was take a scarf from my dresser drawer and blindfold him.  I decided that I didn't want him to see what I had planned for him until I had everything in place.  I then decided that I wanted to tie him up like the men he had seen in the videos.  Not knowing what else to use, I found four of his older neckties and used them to tie his hands and ankles to the four bed posts.  He was then completely exposed and helpless, which I think is what he wanted, based on the videos he had been watching.  To make sure he understood that, I played a bit with his penis and testicles and told him to make sure he stayed put until I returned.  At that point, he was moaning a bit and had a very stiff erection (which again, amazed me since he had already had an orgasm).

I then gathered and prepared some supplies that I thought would be useful:   a bottle of baby oil, a wet washcloth that I heated up in the microwave, some ice cubes, an emory board type nail file, the electric vibrator we had recently purchased ... anything I could think of to provide different sensations.   Finally, I removed my clothes and put on some lacey lingerie which I knew that Barry loved.

I then sat on the bed beside Barry and removed his blindfold.  While I used my fingers to tease his inner thighs and genitals, we had a little talk.  However, I did almost all of the talking.  I informed Barry things were going to be different now.  I let him know that I had ways to know if he was using the computer without me present and that I could also tell if he had masturbated, since his underwear and genitals have a definite odor until he changes and takes a shower.  I shared with him that it is apparent that he likes handjobs and likes tease and denial activities.  I would now be providing both to him.  However, since I will be in control, if the decision is to "deny", that is what will happen.  I also explained that when he wants to surf the internet porn sites, I will be right at his side making sure he doesn't touch himself and that I will see whatever interests and excites him.  During all of this, I allowed my fingers to lightly roam all over his body.  He was having a very difficult time concentrating.

I then advised Barry that it was time for his first tease and denial session with me and that I had not yet decided if he would be denied or allowed to orgasm again.  For the next half hour or so (Barry later told me it seemed like hours), I used all of my supplies and my hands to keep him permanently excited, but never let him orgasm.  Before I was done, he was begging me to let him cum.  I eventually decided to allow him to do so, but I also decided to employ something I saw in one of the videos.  So, I told him I would use the vibrator on him and he could have an orgasm.  What I didn't tell him was that I didn't plan to turn the vibrator off when he climaxed. 

Once he had climaxed, I looked into his eyes and asked him if he remembered the particular video he had watched where the male continued to be stimulated for ten minutes after climax.  A look of fear came over his face.  I also asked him if he remembered what the woman had said at the point of climax.  I could tell he did as I said it to him ... "And now the real fun begins".

So, you have now heard a detailed version of what happened early in our transition to this new life style and how I took control of Barry.  I must confess that I found it very exciting.  I found that I love to control Barry.  I make sure that he is sexually satisfied, and that I am as well.  It was not easy for me, but it has been extremely rewarding for both of us.  We have continued to move forward in ways that arrouse and excite each of us; and have brought us closer together. 

In future blogs, I will attempt to share more current thoughts and activities. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

A Defining Moment, Part 2

When I left Barry kneeling in front of the mirror and said I would return, I must confess that I didn't know what I was going to do.  All I knew at that time (or at least thought I knew) was that I was going to take charge.  I also knew that taking charge would be a completely new role for me.  I really felt I could do so, based on Barry's response to what I had done earlier.

So, I walked out of the bedroom, leaving Barry kneeling in front of the mirror with instructions to not move until I returned.  I returned to the family room and the computer.  I knew I needed to figure out what he had been looking at, so I accessed the browser history and poked around.  I am not very PC savy, but I am not afraid to try things.  I have learned how to explore the browsing history and I did so, and found lots of interesting things.

I saw that Barry had explored a tease and denial type of site (I can't remember any of the specific site names at this point).  I also saw how he explored various "teases" offered.  He apparently chose the one that I found him watching when I walked into the house, so I watched it.  It was amazing to me that he wanted to watch a woman who would tell him when and how to touch his penis; and then type something into the PC to tell her he had done it and ask to be allowed to climax, only to have a programmed response tell him "No, he could not climax".  I just watched the video in amazement, entered random responses, and each time received a reply that "No, I could not cum".  I couldn't believe it, and could only think about what would make him do that. I tried to put myself in Barry's shoes and figure out what he was seeking; and what I was not providing to him.  It became apparent that he wanted/needed more sexual stimulation than what I was providing; and that he wanted/needed someone to control him.

I then explored earlier browsing history on that day.  He had been exploring an X video site and it looked like he had searched for "femdom handjobs"; and then accessed a number of videos.  I looked at several of them and found them amazing.  They all seemed to be about a male being bound in various positions and then sexually teased.  It seemed like in all cases that once the male was allowed to climax he was continually stimulated, even though it seemed to be painful to him.  In some cases, he actually climaxed a second time.  This was all new to me.  I had never seen Barry have a desire for sex after we made love before, let alone climax a second time.  Was this something he wanted?  Was it something a male could do?

I eventually decided to return to the bedroom and have a discussion with Barry.  When I arrived, he was still kneeling where I left him.  I told him that we needed to talk and led him back to the bed and over my lap.  I thought I would have his attention in that position, especially if I had the hairbrush in my hand.  I definitely did, because he quickly had an erection as I started a conversation and threatened to spank him if he didn't interact with me.  That amazed me, because I never saw him get arroused within 24 hours of having sex.  This was less than an hour and a half after he had previously masturbated and been spanked.

I talked with him about the websites I observed; and he eventually admitted how much they arroused him.  I guess that I was not surprised.  However, it hit home to me that Barry was much more stimulated manually than by my vagina.  I didn't like that thought, but it became my reality.

So ... it became another defining moment in our relationship.  I told him to lie on his back on the bed, which he did.  Much to my surprise, he assumed a very submissive position with his hands above his head and his legs spread.  I must confess that it was very exciting for me, but I also needed to figure out what to do next.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

A Defining Moment

About five or six months into our journey, a situation occurred that was very defining for both Barry and me.  We had talked a lot, had seen a counselor, and had been enjoying spanking activities.  I was working very hard to try to become a spanker for Barry and to undestand and be comfortable with his varied kinky desires.  As part of our agreement, he promised to give up looking at internet porn sites and masturbating instead of making love with me.  I had suspected that he was not being faithful to his promise, because the frequency of his desire to make love to me was again decreasing.  There were several times when the browser history file was deleted by someone other than me and I spanked Barry for it, but I don't think it made much of an impact on him.

However, things significantly changed on a Saturday afternoon.  I had a luncheon date with two of my colleagues and I planned to go clothes shopping at the mall after lunch.  However, when I arrived at the restaurant and didn't find my colleagues, a telephone call to one of them revealed that our date was the following Saturday.  So, I quickly did some shopping and headed home.  When I arrived, Barry apparently didn't hear me come in the front door and didn't greet me, which I thought was odd.  So, I quietly made my way to the family room, to see Barry standing in front of the computer with his pants on the floor beside him, and a hand towel spread flat on the desk chair, which was to his left side.  He had his back to me, and still didn't realize I was home.  So, I just stood in the doorway and watched.  He was pleasuring himself in whatever way a woman on the computer was instructing him.  I couldn't see her, because Barry was standing in front of the computer.  But her instructions were loud and clear.  She would tell him when to start, when to stop, how hard to stroke, whether to stroke his entire penis or just play with the head, etc.  She would tell him to ask for permission to cum and he would type in a request on the computer.  When it was denied, she would continue with her instructions.

I was mesmerized, but also wanted to cry.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  While I took all of this in, I tried to figure out what I should do.  I finally gathered my courage and announced my presence.  Barry turned to look at me and immediately stopped.  I wish I could have a picture of his face at that moment while his hand was still on his penis.  However, I remember it clearly, as well as what I said to him and what we did. 

Barry immediately stopped what he was doing and started to put on his underwear.  I directed, "No.  Don't stop!  I want to watch what you do.  I want to see how making love with your hand is better than making love with me, especially after all of the effort I have made the past few months."  I now realize that this was a defining moment for me.  I had decided to take charge of Barry and his problem.

He stood still for what seemed like forever and finally said "Please .... please don't make me do that."  He was pleading with me to not make him do something.  I now realize that was a defining moment for Barry.  He had decided to be submissive to me.

I'm not sure what I thought at the time, but it is clear that I had made the decision to take charge of Barry and he had made the decision to accept my control.

What transpired from there is also etched in my memory.  I walked over to Barry and took his underwear from him and placed his hand on his penis.  I pointed to the computer and said "Follow her instructions.  I'm going to watch closely. I want to learn".  I then sat down in a chair next to the computer desk and watched.

Barry followed her every instruction and was finally given permission to cum, which he promptly did on the towel on the desk chair.  He turned to me with a very sad look and said "I'm sorry".  I don't know what made me do it, but my response was "You are about to become very sorry".  I then directed him to go to the bathroom, clean up, remove the rest of his clothes, and meet me in the bedroom as quickly as possible.  While he did that, I obtained a towel from the linen closet on my way to the bedroom, and then found the wooden hairbrush we found in an antique shop.  I then sat on the edge of the bed, placed the towel over my lap to protect my skirt, and picked up the hairbrush.  The look on Barry's face when he walked into the room was priceless.  I didn't know it then, but now understand that after climaxing in the family room, he had no sexual desire to be spanked.  However, there I was, waiting to spank him with a heavy, thuddy implement that was not what he liked even when he was excited.   There was no erection that normally existed when I spanked him.

I pulled him over my lap and began to scold.  That is something that he likes me to do when I spank, but I normally don't do it very well.  However, at this moment I had something very meaningful to scold him about, and I let him have it as I began to spank his bottom very hard with the wooden hairbrush.  There was no playful spanks.  There was no warm up.  There was no intermittent rubbing like he normally enjoys.  I just laid into him, alternating from one cheek to the other at first and then delivering five or ten smacks to each cheek before switching.  I don't know how many I delivered or long it was.  But, I do know that I was holding him tight with my left hand and had my right leg clamped over his legs before I was done.  I also know that he was sobbing before I was done.  I had never heard him cry.  Even now, that was one of the few times that Barry has cried when I have spanked him.

When I finished and Barry was lying like a rag doll across my lap, hugged him from behind, but told him to kneel on the floor in front of the mirror on the closet door.  I walked over to him and guided his arms to behind his back.  I then told him I wanted him to remain in that position staring at himself in the mirror until I returned.  I also told him that I loved him, but that I was not yet done with him.

I then returned to the family room to explore the browser history on the PC and see what else Barry had been reviewing that afternoon.  What I found gave me the idea and the courage to do what I did next.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fun/Play Spankings

I like to differentiate between what I call 'fun' or 'play' spankings from a 'punishment' spanking.  Most of our activities fall into the 'fun' or 'play' category, although that doesn't mean that they don't include a lot of sting and a sore bottom.  Barry is very arroused by being spanked and he has quite a high pain tolerance.  That created a challenge for me when I wanted to punish him for something.  My normal spankings weren't very much of a punishment.  I have previously discussed how I administer a Punishment spanking in the Fun vs Punishment Spankings post.

Fun or Play spankings are much more fun for both of us and we tend to use spanking as a form of foreplay once or twice a week on average.  I like to start the anticipation for our spanking fun as early as I can in the day. 

Sometimes when he is getting dressed for work, I will pull out a pair of sexy panties and tell him that I would really like for him to wear them that day.  He knows that is a signal from me that I plan to spank him that evening.  He immediately gets stiff and he tells me that he anticipates our "spanking date" all day long.  Other times, I will just grab his bottom during the afternoon on a weekend and say something like "Somebody has been a bit naughty today and needs to have his bottom warmed".  Or, I leave a pair of panties and a light paddle on the bed for him to see when he arrives home from work.  It is always fun to see his excited reaction to these little things.  It also keeps me at a high anticipation level, because I love to paddle his cute bottom.

Fun or Play spankings have a very different feel to both of us than Punishment spankings.  Barry prefers implements that are stingy and light.  Thus, I love to use lighter wood or leather paddles for our fun times.  The heavy, thuddy hairbrush is reserved for punishment.  Fun/Play spankings are usually administered in the bedroom, but sometimes in our family room.  They also are ususally quite lengthy.  I love him over my lap, but I also enjoy sitting on his back, facing his bottom.  I also love to spank using different techniques, such as covering the full width of his bottom or one cheek at a time; spanking methodically or randomly.  I will talk more about techniques in a later post.
Most importantly, we both like it when I spank in a way that provides sting .... lots and lots of sting.  I love to watch his bottom turn red and I almost feel like an artist working with a blank canvas when I start.  "What type of picture shall I paint tonight?" :-)  Shall I make one cheek red to start?  Or, shall I start at top and work down?  Or, just gradually bring his entire bottom to a brilliant shade of red.  Barry's bottom colors up nicely, but doesn't bruise, so he provides a wonderful surface to work on.  When I am done spanking, then more fun begins.  He is almost always still fully erect and ready for action.  However, we also vary what we do after the spanking foreplay, but that is also another separate topic that I need to fully address.

As you can see, spanking really provides the core to the rejuenation of our marriage.