Sunday, August 28, 2011

Panty Shopping

Saturday was a delightful day which I thoroughly enjoyed. I was very anxious to buy Barry is very own collection of panties and nighties. When I had him wearing panties earlier, he mostly wore mine, except for a couple of special things I had purchased for him, such as his punishment panties. However, since he lost weight, they are a bit large for him.

Early in the morning we took care of the necessary preparations for Hurricane Irene, even though it looks like it's impact upon us will be much less than what was earlier predicted. By 10 AM we were ready to head to the mall that is far enough away from us that we don't risk running into anyone who knows us. It also has a Macy's, which is wear I like to buy my lingerie, and a Victoria's Secret. Before we left, Barry almost begged me to allow him to keep some of his jockey shorts, saying that he needs some to wear when he is working around the house and yard on the weekends. I told him not to worry, I will make sure we purchase a couple of pair of cotton briefs that can fulfill his weekend needs.

We went to Macy's first and together we picked out a number of high rise briefs, hipsters, and even a lacy pair of boyshorts (along with a package of assorted pastel colors cotton Jockey hipster panties for weekend wear). We also picked out a short nylon nightgown and a mid-thigh length chemise for which we found a matching panty for sleepwear. Barry was initially quite embarrassed, but eventually got into looking for things, once he realized that no one was paying much attention to us. He was pretending that he was looking for things for me, just to give himself some cover. He would say things like, you would like nice in these, etc. I let him play his little game until it came time to take them to the checkout counter. I handed all of our selections to Barry and told him to go pay for them, as I quickly disappeared (but only far enough away so that I could still watch him).

We then found the Victoria's Secret store where we were immediately greeted a young saleswoman who asked if she could help me. Much to Barry's dismay, I quickly responded that I was looking for something sexy for my husband! She didn't bat an eyelash, but Barry turned crimson. She then showed us a variety of babydolls with matching panties and teddies. I settled on a lovely polyester babydoll with a wide halter strap and a panty which was fairly full in style. We also looked at some garters and garter slips, but I decided to hold off on anything else.

We then had a late lunch before heading home for a fashion show :-).  As I had hoped, each of the panties selected nicely highlighted his cage and also just covred his cute bottom, which is a delightful size since he lost weight.

Saturday is also our normal 'shaving' day for Barry.  We each like for him to be shaved from the waist to upper thigh area.  Since we missed doing it last weekend, he really was in need of cleaning up.  After dinner, I sent him to the shower and I joined him to do the honors.  Barry sometimes shaves himself, but I also really enjoy doing it.  I especially wanted to do the honors this time so that I could appropriately tease and arrouse him.  I initially left him in the chastity device while I shaved everything that was accessible.  I took my time and made sure I paid very special attention to his scrotum, inner thighs and buttocks.  He always finds it arrousing, and this time was no exception.  However, the device definitely inhibited much growth of his penis.  When Barry is flacid his penis shrinks to a very small size.  It grows to about 4 inches when erect, but we had to have a very small cage in order for it to remain in place when he is flacid.  Of course, that means there is very little room for expansion.  I finally told him that I was going to remove the cage so I could shave the shaft of his penis.  When I did so, it didn't take long for it to become fully erect.  That allowed me to carefully shave and tease it.  Given his tendancy to lose control, I made sure I was careful to not cause him to ejaculate.  After I toweled him dry, Barry began to put on the chemise/panty combination I had purchased for him.  However, when he reached for the panty, I reminded him that the cage must go back on.  The look of disappointment on his face was priceless.

When we got into bed, I reminded him that even though he was remaining celibate, I still craved receiving his pleasuring, which he lovingly provided to me.  I had no trouble sleeping thafterwards, but Barry reported that he was awake much of the night.


PS We are now ready to hunker down for the day and ride out what will hopefully be only the remnants of Irene.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Back into Panties for Barry

Thank you very much for the comments (and suggestions) that have been submitted to my last two posts. I really appreciate the support and suggestions that have been offered. I have also enjoying the fact that Margaret has checked in with me again and she has provided a wealth of insight to me as I continue to move forward.

Last night I took another step in the process of taking complete charge of our relationship. After dinner, while Barry was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, went into our bedroom to make preparations for when we would get ready for bed. I removed all of his underpants and sleeping shorts from his dresser drawer and dirty clothes hamper and placed them in the wastebasket next to his dresser. I then folded and placed a pair of my panties on top of his dresser, and also placed a baby doll nightie with matching panties on his side of the bed.

I then joined Barry in our family room to watch some TV and read. I eventually suggested that he get ready for bed and I would join him. I didn't wait too long to follow, since I wanted to enjoy his reaction. When I walked in the room, he was going through the underwear and sleepwear that I had placed in the wastebasket. His initial comment was "What is this all about?".    I calmly explained to him that I had decided that he would now wear only panties and that on Saturday, before Hurricane Irene arrives, we would be making a trip to a mall that is about 35 miles from us (where no on would know us) to pick out a selection of panties for his everday and dressup use.  I added that since it arrouses me to see him in panties and lingerie, he will now also wear feminine sleepwear at night ... starting with my babydoll nightgown tonight.

He started to protest, at which time I reminded him that he was currently locked in a chastity device to which I held the key.  I urged him to realize that any argumentative attitude would likely cause him to wait longer for any sexual relief.  I also put on a nylon babydoll, but omitted the panties and suggested that he make sure I was well pleased before he went to sleep.  He complied very nicely with that request and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him orally pleasure me.  When he was done, I couldn't resist using my hands to trace the outline of his chastity device through his panties and tease him.  I started referring to his confined penis as "Herbie", since the shape the outline of his device in his panties made me think of the hood of car in the  Love Bug movie.

This morning, Barry dutifully put on the panties I had placed on his dresser and went off to work.  I love to seem him in panties, especially when he is wearing his device.  They provide a lovely display of his trapped penis and I know that he will be very aware of the fact that he is wearing panties all day long.

Tomorrow will be fun.  I am looking forward to shopping for panties and lingerie with him. 


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Going to the Next Level

I had a wonderful surprise Monday evening. Margaret (from the inn where Barry and I stayed in NY) called.  She wanted to check in with me to follow-up on our conversation the morning we left.  I shared with her my hesitation about making such a dramatic change with respect to being the HOH, which opened up a wonderful conversation.  I ended up sharing more details with her of what I have actually done with respect to FLR so far, especially concerning what I have done with respect to chastity and sexual aspects.  When she realized that even though I have often been keeping Barry in his device, I have also been making sure he is sexually satisfied whenever I am, she had a very different perspective.  I don't think I want to go through all of the details of how we got to this point.  But, her advice (which makes lots of sense to me) is that I need to deprive Barry of orgasms.  It is the need for them that is the key to creating a loving, caring husband who will do whatever I ask of him.  She feels it is also the key to having Barry accept me being the HOH in a FLR.  As we talked and I thought about it, this makes perfect sense to me.  It also allows me to move to being HOH in a more gradual way.  I didn't get much sleep last night as I thought about our conversation and how best to proceed.

Last evening during dinner, I had a heart to heart conversation with Barry about our relationship and where I have been led on our journey. We again talked about me being the HOH and he still liked that idea.  I shared with him that I am going begin by taking even more control of our sexual life.  I informed him that he will now be in his chastity device 24/7, unless I decide to release him, and that he needs to understand that his goal is to please me sexually whenever I desire.  His sexual needs will be met less often, when I feel it is beneficial. 

After dinner, we retired to the bedroom where I locked him in his device and advised him that he could expect to be in it until at least Sunday, and I explained that having it off for a bit on Sunday will be dependent upon his behavior between now and then.  I also reminded him that I expect him to pleasure me whenever I desire it.   I then informed him that I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath while he did the dishes.  And, that I expected him to join me in the bedroom when I was done. 

When I finished my bath, well after Barry had cleaned up the kitchen, I put on a teddy and found Barry working at the computer.  It didn't take much coaxing to have him join me in the bedroom.  However, he slowly learned that I meant what I said.  After he orally pleasured me to a very satisfying orgasm, I hugged and kissed him.  And, then I went to sleep.  As I did so, it was obvious how frustrated and unsatisfied he felt.  Somehow, I couldn't help but think about the many nights I felt the same way early in our marriage when he would have an orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep.

I think the coming few days will be very interesting for him, but I now feel confident that I am able to take things slowly as we move forward in our journey.  I don't think either of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started.  However, I am also confident that we are moving towards a much more satisfying relationship for both of us.


Monday, August 22, 2011

Thoughts about HOH and FLR

In my last post I shared that I had a delightful conversation with the hostess of the inn we stayed in last Sunday night. While Barry was packing things up and loading the car, she sat down at the table and we talked for almost an hour.  She was curious about the type of relationship that Barry and I have, and I was curious about she and her husband.  It seems that she and Robert have a complete female led relationship in which she is the head of the household in all regards.  She manages the inn and Robert does most of the work.  He prepares breakfast each morning for the guests and after cleaning up the kitchen he takes care of cleaning the five rooms.  She also keeps him in a chastity device and panties most of the time and has taken complete control of when and how he receives sexual pleasure.  She is convinced that since she has taken complete charge of Robert, he has become a much kinder and gentler husband.  She also does not hesitate to use corporal punishment whenever necessary to keep him well behaved.  I was curious how she could do that due to having strangers in the house most nights.  She explained that most guests leave by 10 AM in the morning and new guests seldom arrive until at least 2 PM.  When a punishment is needed, it is frequently administered during that time period except when the inn is vacant.  She also explained that she also frequently uses a cane, which is a very quiet implement.  The only problem with cane is that it is difficult for Robert to remain quiet.  Initially, she would gag him whenever the cane was used, but she has slowly trained him to take it quietly.  Before we ended our conversation, she invited Robert to our table from the kitchen and prompted him to tell me about their relationship.  His summary confirmed what Margaret had told me.

I was quite intrigued by the complete control she exhibits over Robert and what a gentle, pleasant person he is.  When I commented about that, Margaret explained that he wasn't always as loving and kind.  However, that changed once she took charge of their relationship and him.  She strongly encouraged me to take more control of all aspects of Barry's and my relationship.  She was confident that I would see a dramatic change in Barry's general demeanor and an increase in his desire and actions to please me in all ways.  She also suggested that based upon what I told her about Barry's desire to be spanked and his acceptance of me controlling much of our sex life, it is very likely that Barry really desires to have a woman control more aspects of his life and that he will quickly embrace it.

As we drove home that morning, I couldn't help but playing my conversation with Margaret over in my head many times.  I was struck by how similar it seems to what several of you readers have shared in comments to me about HOH and FLRs.   That night over dinner, I shared much of the conversation I had with Margaret with Barry and told him that I was thinking about taking full control of all aspects of our relationship and household.  When he asked me what that meant, I told him I wasn't quite sure, but that I was going to give it significant thought and we would talk more.

Barry didn't seem to object to the idea of me being the HOH, but since we  haven't talked in more detail about what it would mean to him, I'm not sure he fully comprehends the extent of what I'm talking about.  I have been giving it a lot of thought the past week and jotting down a number of specific changes I would implement if I decide to do this.  This feels like a really major change and is not something I am taking lightly.  The changes we have already made in our relationship are also huge, but they have occurred fairly gradually, so they didn't feel so dramatic at the time.

I suspect we'll be talking in the next few days ....


Friday, August 19, 2011

Barry's Vacation Spanking

We arrived home Monday night after a wonderful vacation in the Finger Lakes region and Adirondack mountains of New York.  Interestingly, although we live fairly close to New York, we had never spent any time there before.  It was good to have time to get away and just spend time together, without the pressures of work.

We didn't have any specific plans for this trip, so we just moved around as we desired.  The current economy made it possible for us to not need to make reservations, which is really the way we like to travel when we can.

Our last night provided a very unique experience that I never expected.  I enjoyed it much more than Barry, as I will now try to share.  We had originally planned to come home on Sunday, have a day at home on Monday, and then Barry would return to work on Tuesday.  I don't have to go back to wrk in the school system for another week.  However, we spent Sunday afternoon hiking a beautiful trail, so I decided that I would like to spend one more night away before returning.  Early evening, ss we drove through a small NY hamlet after our hike, we stopped at a lovely small Victorian inn/B&B to see if they had any rooms available.  I just couldn't resist it.

When we walked in and asked about availability, the wife of the British couple who run the inn shared that all rooms were available, so she suggested that we go upstairs and take our pick of their five rooms.  At that point, I realized that I was having a very unique opportunity presented to me, which seemed very intriguing.  This was because of what happened earlier in the week and that day. 

During our vacation, Barry reverted to one of his bad habits of ogling waitresses in restaurants we visited.  As you probably know from earlier posts, he can't resist someone in a tight skirt or pants, or someone who likes to expose cleavage.  That habit is one that really bothers me and makes me feel insecure.  Consequently, it has resulted in one of our hard and fast rules:  If he does it, he will be punished.  Twice, early in the week, I observed him ogling.  After the second time, I warned him that the next time would result in a serious punishment spanking. 

On Sunday, when we stopped for lunch at a lovely cafe, he did it again.  We were seated in a way that I was looking out the window over a small lake, and Barry was looking into the restaurant.  Two of the waitresses were quite young and lovely, and were wearing tight skirts and blouses.  As I was trying to enjoy the scenery and talk with Barry, it was apparent that his eyes were following their every movement.  When we got up to leave, I commented to him that he has just earned a very serious spanking when we got home.
I suspect he was relieved when I wanted to spend another night away after our hike.  And I don't think he had a clue what was happening when we stopped by the inn to see if there were rooms available.  However, when I learned that we would be the only people staying in the inn, my mind immediately thought of the possibility of giving Barry his much deserved punishment spanking that night in the inn.  I must also confess that it seemed quite exciting to me!

As we explored the five rooms in the inn, I noticed that none of them had a good spanking chair and that all of the beds were quite high, which is also not conducive to a comfortable spanking position for me.  However, one had a delightful padded bench at the foot of the bed, designed to serve as a luggage rack.  It would be perfect to sit on and take Barry over my lap.  Having selected that room we returned to the first floor to make arrangements with our host.  A few conversational questions helped me learn that she and her husband live alone on the third floor, so I could conclude that they would be the only other people in the inn that night.

When we went into the inn, we were greeted by a lovely woman about my age with a delightful British accent.  She and I immediately made a connection, especially when she commented that we were the first possible guests that night.  She suggested that we take a tour of the available five rooms and let her know which one we would like to choose.

We walked to a nearby restaurant for a light supper.  While we were eating, I shared my plans with Barry.  I did not like the idea of receiving a punishment spanking in the inn.  However, his pleas for a delay until we got home fell on deaf ears.  I was clearly feeling excited about doing it.  When we returned to the inn, I checked the parking lot to make sure there were no other cars of new guests.  Seeing none, I told Barry to get a shower and report to me completely nude.  I also told him to be quick about it.  A short time later, he appeared from the bathroom and, much to my surprise, he was sporting a partial erection.  I told him we were going to have to get rid of that and sent him to the bathroom for our Sonicare toothbrush with his brushing head and the sash from my robe.  After using the sash to bind Barry's hands behind his back, I then used the brush on the head of his penis to quickly bring him to orgasm, but stopping as soon as he started to spurt.  Using the toothbrush in that fashion is a combination of pleasure and pain for him due to the senstivity of his penis head, so it was not a very pleasurable orgasm for him.

After making him clean up his mess, I took him over my lap with his hand still bound.  The bench was long enough to hold his upper torso, so I made sure we were both in a comfortable position before I started the spanking.  Barry knew I had brought my wooden hairbrush, but he didn't realize I had packed the nylon rice paddle that he hates.  I started out with the brush and spanked firmly and uniformly over his entire bottom.  It was not really a warm-up, but it also wasn't full force.  He was squirming and and clearly wanting me to stop before I picked up the rice paddle.  As he asked me to stop and promised to be good, I advised him that I was just getting started.  I was really tired of the repeat performances of bad behaviour in restauants.  When I started with the rice paddle, I increased the force of each spank significantly.  I also worked on one check at a time.  It didn't take long for him to be hollering and begging for me to stop.  I became a little concerned about how much noise he was making and made him get up and bring a pair of my panties from my suitcase, which I rolled up and stuffed in his mouth.  I then proceeded to thoroughly paddle both cheeks and the upper part of this thighs just below his bottom.  By then he was really pleading, albeit it significantly muffled by the panties.  When I finally let him up, it was clear that he was a very contrite husband.

The surprise of this adventure came the next morning when we went downstairs for breakfast.  As our English hostess seated us in the dining room, she nonchalantly commently that she suspects someone will be sitting very gingerly today!  Barry immediately turned crimson and I even felt my cheeks beginning to flush.  Barry was silent, so I expressed an apology for making too much noise last night.  She quickly told me not to think anything about it.  She then turned to Barry and advised him to not be embarrassed and added that her husband also gets spanked on a regular basis when he misbehaves.  She also added that Barry must have been quite naughty based on the severity of what she heard him receiving.

After we finished breakfast, I sent Barry to the room to pack things up.  I then stayed to have a short conversation with our hostess.  I wanted to make sure she wasn't upset with what I had done in the inn.  She was fine with it, since there were not other guests.  It also gave us a chance to compare some notes, which was very interesting, and should probably be left for another post.


Saturday, August 6, 2011

Solving Barry's Premature Ejaculation Problem

A couple of posts ago, I shared that since I have been keeping Barry in chastity for longer periods of time, he as been experiencing some premature ejaculation issues.  Since I love a vaginal climax, this has been most frustrating for me.  I'd like to express my appreciation to those who have offered some suggestions, esepcially Harry Haversackers and Anonymous.

Like Harry's wife, giving up on chastity control is not an option.  We tried Ambersol but, like Harry, we found it difficult to figure out the timing of administration and amount to use.  It added another level of frustration, which I couldn't deal with.  We have also begun to explore some sort of penis extension for Barry.  I have found one or two that I am considering purchasing.  "Anonymous" spoke of a unit that would fit on a CB6000 (which we have, but doesn't work well as a chastity device for Barry).  However, we can't seem to find the extension attachment that he talked about.  So, I would be greatly appreciative if "Anonymous" can provide some more specifics.  It sounds like a good solution.

We also discovered another possible solution this past week.  Barry had a birthday, so I decided to remove his chastity device prior to our dinner that night.  I prepared his favorite dish (sirloin tips) and we enjoyed a wonderful relaxed evening before retreating to the bedroom.  When we began our amorous activities, I found that I was able to ride Barry to a wonderful vaginal climax before I began to provide him with his favorite form of stimulation (oral).  Even when we moved into that, he seemed to be able to exhibit significant control.  At this point, I don't know if his success was due to being out of the device for a few hours before we moved into our sexual activity or if two glasses of wine during dinner played some sort of role.  However, we will continue to explore.

I am also still intrigued about finding a penis extension similar to what "Anonymous" described.  As I have previously shared, Barry's penis is on the small side.  However, I have always been very satisfied with it.  He has always pleased me vaginally.  But .... the thoughts of feeling something bigger are intriguing :-).  Perhaps the comments from Susanne at "All Mine" about her lover's Trophy Cock are influencing me.  I don't know.  But it would be nice to see what something bigger feels like, and the only way that will happen is if Barry gets an extension.  Althought I enjoy Susanne's blog, taking a lover is really way outside my comfort zone.


PS  Barry and I are leaving on vacation tomorrow morning for 10 days.  That will give us a good time to explore ways to get him to relax after he is out of chastity, which may help us figure out a way to easily solve the problem.  I will also look forward to hearing more about recommended extensions.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What Kind of FLR is This?

Before I begin the heart of this post, I would first like to thank each of you who left comments to my last post.  They trigger lots of thoughts, which I will be trying to address in my next few posts, assuming I don't get distracted onto something else :-).

The thoughts from "ahumanishere" got me thinking about whether or not I view my self as a HOH and if Barry and I have a typical (whatever that means) FLR.  I have given lots of thought to that over the past few days.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't expect to be the HOH with respect to all things.  Barry and I have been married for many years and have always worked together as a team in making decisions.  That is not going to go away.  However, our relationship has definitely changed since I started spanking him, especially with respect to many aspects of sex and lovemaking. 

However, I don't view myself as the HOH.  But .... I do feel like I have taken over the leadership and responsibility for our sex life and lovemaking.  And, I like that.
Prior to learning that Barry has a spanking fetish, our sex life and lovemaking was pure vanilla and it was controlled primarily by Barry.  I have to admit that I essentially defaulted my responsibility and leadership to him.  For all those years, we didn't do much more than missionary position with respect to sex.  Much of the reason for that was because I wasn't very responsive to trying new things.
However, after the spanking revelation I started sitting with Barry as he surfed the internet.  My eyes were opened to many things that I never knew existed.  Somehow I gathered the courage to try some of them, and I discovered a very latent and hidden sex drive.  To say that it surprised me would be a huge understatement.  In reality, it shocked both Barry and me.

I now love having control of our sexual activities.  I have had more orgasms in the past year than I did in all of our previous years of marriage.  It excites me to be able to tease Barry and control when and how he orgasms.  I love putting him in his chastity device and then seeing how excited he is to have it removed.  I also love being able to control what positions we use for penetration and cunnilingus to insure that Barry completely pleases me. 

Barry also seems much more satisfied.  There are some latent sexual needs that he has brought forth that he could never find a way to previously share with me (we both had that challenge).  He also seems perfectly happy to let me control things in the bedroom, including his chastity, his wearing panties, and his not always knowing how or if he will orgasm, etc.
Sooooo, I can't say that I am, or want to be, the HOH.  However, we definitely have a FLR with respect to our sex life.  I guess what I am pleased about is the fact that it seems to work for us at this time.  I am also very appreciative of the comments from "ahumanishere.  They helped me think through where Barry and I are and understand it.