Friday, February 5, 2016

A Very Embarrassing Evening for Barry

I will begin this post by admitting that I was quite hesitant about whether what I was doing was a good thing.  However, the comments provided to my last post convinced me to follow my instincts.  Thank you to everyone for your sharing and giving me confidence and suggestions.

I proceeded with my plans to punish Barry in front of Helen Wednesday night.  And, I also invited my sister, Carol.  Helen has previously met Carol,and Carol has previously observed and participated in spanking Barry, so I thought Carol might add a bit of a comfort level to both Barry and Helen.

Helen and Carol each arrived at the appointed time of 6:00PM. We relaxed in the living room with a class of wine, which I think helped relax each of us.  Carol was probably the most relaxed of all of us, which was very helpful.  It made me glad that I decided to include her.   Barry was the least relaxed, understandably.  He had two glasses of wine and I have never seen him so quiet.  Not surprisingly, no one broached the subject of why we were together.

We eventually moved into the dining room for a simple supper that I had prepared. Conversation still remained somewhat stilted, which made me nervous.  However, we still seemed to manage some good conversation about the current political situation ... what happened in Iowa on Monday, and what will happen in NH next week.  Since Barry and I have lived in NH, Carol and Helen were eager to hear our thoughts.  That also gave Barry a comfortable topic to talk about and he became a bit more engaged. I was very thankful for that.

As we finished our dinner, I suggested that we save dessert for after Barry receives his punishment.  This was the first time our reason for being together was mentioned.  And, it seemed to provide some relief to Helen to hear it vocalized.  I wasn't sure whether to delay dessert or not, but my gut told me that we needed to have something to bring us all together after the main event.  It turned out to be a good decision.

I asked Barry to clear the table, while I prepared the living room.  Helen followed Carol's lead in helping him.  While they were cleaning up, I took a dining room chair into the living room and placed it in the middle of the room facing the sofa.  Our coffee table was the only thing separating the chair and the sofa.  I then placed the implements that I planned to use on Barry's bottom (besides my hand) on the coffee table.

Returning to the kitchen, I asked Helen and Carol if they would like another glass of wine.  Carol took me up on it.  Looking quite nervous, Helen declined.  After Carol poured herself a glass of wine, I suggested that we all retire to the living room.  Carol and Helen seated themselves on the sofa and I sat on the dining room chair.  Barry wasn't quite sure what to do, so I called him over to stand by my right side facing the sofa.  I could see Barry and Helen nervously looking at the implements on the coffee table.

I then thanked Helen and Carol for being here to witness Barry's punishment and explained that Barry and I each agree that it is important for him to experience the embarrassment of being punished in front of someone.  I then instructed Barry to remove his shirt, shoes,and socks.  After he did so, I then made him turn to his left to face me and I unbuckled his belt and lowered his trousers.  I then instructed him to step out of them, fold them neatly, and place them on a nearby chair along with his other removed clothing.

When Barry finished, wearing only a pair of sheer white nylon panties through which it was clearly visible that he was shaved and wearing a chastity device, it was very evident that he was nervous and embarrassed.  I decided to add to his level of embarrassment by stating something like "Doesn't he look cute in these wonderful panties and his chastity device?"  I don't think Helen knew what to say, but Carol immediately commented about how perfectly submissive and cute he looked.  Looking up at Barry, I could see a blush appear in his cheeks.

I then lowered Barry's panties to mid thigh and asked him if he would like me to remove his device before he is spanked.  This caught him by surprise.  I had never done that before.  He eventually stammered that "Yes, that might be nice".  This let me make his penis the center of attraction as I removed the cage.  After slowly removing the cage and gently touching his penis while I explained to Helen how useful I have found this chastity device, Barry began to get an erection.

I was a bit surprised by this.  I began to apologize to Helen for putting her in an uncomfortable position of seeing my husband become sexually aroused.  Much to my surprise, she quickly replied with something like "Oh, don't be concerned Susan.  I have seen my share of 'willies' in my life, especially when I was younger.  However, I will admit that this is the first time that I have seen a cute little bald one that was locked up in a plastic box and wearing panties!.  I must also admit that I wish I knew about these things when my husband was alive."

I couldn't help but smile at her genuine response.  I eventually looked at Barry and he was crimson.  I was then taken completely by surprise with Carol's response. She quickly stated "I can take care of that" ... and she got up from the couch and used her first finger triggered by her thumb to thump against the underside of the shaft of Barry's penis.  She quickly repeated that action two more times.  To my surprise, his penis immediately began to wilt.  I guess I looked at her in surprise, so she quickly apologized and share that this was a technique that she had learned years ago in nursing school.

Barry now stood by my side, completely naked except for his panties that were lowered to mid thigh.  He started to place his hands in front of his penis, but I stopped him and directed him to explain to Helen and Carol why he was being punished.  He began to stammer and said that he thought they already knew.  I calmly explained that they have heard the reasons from me, but that it is important to me that he personally share with them what he has done wrong.  I added, "I want you to personally admit to them what you have been doing without my knowledge."

Barry then proceeded to stammer and slowly explain that during the past few months he had become obsessed with watching spanking porn on his computer and had been jerking off (his term).  I prompted him to go further by asking what was the result of this type of activity (which is something that Barry and I have discussed the past few days).  He became very obviously more embarrassed and became very quiet.  When I told him that I was waiting for his answer, he quietly shared that he developed some erectile dysfunction.  I then took on the role of a prosecuting attorney and asked him if a better characterization of his condition might be that he became impotent.  After a long pause, he whispered "yes".

I was watching Carol at this time, because this was something I had not even shared with her.  I could see the look of surprise and shock on her face.  And, when I looked at Barry, he was crimson faced.  I then thanked Barry for his honesty and asked him to explain what else he had done to deserve his punishment.

Barry slowly shared how he had visited a professional disciplinarian last fall to be spanked.  Again, my prosecuting attorney personality kicked in and I forced him to explain how many times he had done so; and to acknowledge that he did this without even telling me that he needed to be spanked or asking me to do so.  I also pushed him to admit that he agreed with me that his actions were equivalent to cheating on me.

I then explained to Helen and Carol (primarily for Helen's benefit) that I had already punished Barry last week for these actions, but that I felt it important to make sure he learns a lesson.  I also explained that a very important part of this punishment is to make Barry admit what he did to someone else besides me and to have this punishment witnessed by both of them.

I then asked Barry to pull up his panties and get over my lap.  I could tell that he was surprised at being allowed to keep his panties on.  For the benefit of Helen and Carol, I explained that I don't normally spank Barry with his panties on when the spanking is a punishment.  However, tonight I was going to start out easier than usual; and that I wanted them to see how cute his shaved bottom looks in nylon.  As he was pulling up his panties, I hiked up my skirt so that Barry would be lying over my stocking covered legs.

Once he was over my lap I began spanking and scolding him, as well as periodically pausing to rub his bottom and comment about how cute he looked.  I gradually spanked him quite hard with my hand and his bottom was becoming a nice pink color.  However, I could tell by the feel of his penis against my thigh that he was enjoying it.  Having him lie directly on my stockings was having the effect I desired.  When I allowed him to stand up, it was obvious that he was quite aroused.

I took this opportunity to embarrass him further.  Pulling down his panties, I made him step out of them and I then hung them on his erection.  I commented, "Since you are getting spanked for masturbating, why don't you show Helen and Carol how you like to stroke your penis with nylon panties when you masturbate?".  "No, please don't make me do that", he begged.  When I just stared at him, he took the panties and began to massage his penis.  After two or three minutes, I allowed him to stop.

After first making him hand me the wooden hairbrush that was on the coffee table, I positioned him over my lap with his legs spread open and his penis drawn back between his legs so that it was clearly visible and accessible to me.  I knew that this would further embarrass him in front of the ladies, plus I wanted to keep an eye on his level of arousal.  I expected to to go down very shortly, and it did.  It didn't take many swats with the hairbrush to have him squirming and begging me to stop.  I started out using it very methodically, working my way around his entire bottom and sit spot.  Near the end I just alternated from cheek to cheek while minimizing the time between swats.  Of course, I was scolding him about his masturbation problem the entire time and making him promise to never masturbate without my permission.  When I was finally done I allowed him to stand and rub his bottom for a moment while standing facing Helen and Carol.

When I was ready to continue I told Barry that the next stage of his punishment would address his cheating on me by visiting the disciplinarian.  After having him provide me with the Jokari paddle on the coffee table,  He looked at me with fear in his eyes.  He had never seen this paddle and he is very fearful of heavy wood.  I looked back at him with a look that said "deal with it cheater".  I then took him back over my lap.  This time I required him to lie over my left leg so that I could use my right leg to clamp him in place.  Once I had him in place, I suggested to him that he hang onto the chair rungs and be prepared for some pain.

I then went to work with the Jokari.. While scolding Barry, I started out by spanking his right cheek, then his left cheek, and finally right across the middle of his bottom.  I repeated this pattern about twenty times.  I then suggested that he hang on tight while I finished things up.  That meant multiple, rapid alternating swats with the Jokari between both of his cheeks.  It didn't take long to have Barry begging me to stop.

When I finally stopped, Barry was sobbing.

This post has become much too long.  I apologize.  Barry suggested that we need to add some photos to break it up.  So, I directed him to find some.  He found a couple.  I have also decided that I need to go ahead and post what I have.  My next post will talk about how the four of us dealt with what had happened.

We continue to grow,

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Barry's Desire to be Embarrassed

In his recent post, Barry shared his desire (he would say 'need') to be embarrassed or humiliated in front of another woman by being exposed when he is disciplined.  For quite some time I have been aware of his need to be spanked and his very strong submissiveness.  However, until this week, I didn't realize how strong a feeling the embarrassment issue was for him.  I've been giving it considerable thought, especially with respect to trying to understand why the feelings are so strong and how we might provide this type of experience in a way that is comfortable for me.  Of course, Barry has been spanked in front of my sister in the past; and even been spanked by her.  However, that doesn't seem to completely fulfill his desire.

I didn't overtly plan for it to happen this soon, but events yesterday created a situation where it will likely happen tomorrow evening.  I was having lunch with a lovely lady who lives nearby.  She is about my age (probably a little younger) and we have gotten to know each other quite well.  She is a widow, having lost her husband a little over a year ago to a sudden, unexpected, massive heart attack.  During our lunch yesterday, she asked how things were going with Barry and me.  I don't know whether it was because of the way she asked the question, but for some reason I let my guard down and replied in a way that I have never done with anyone other than my sister.  I commented that we are doing well, but that I have had to return to disciplining him lately.  She immediately picked up on that and started asking more questions in a very kind and gentle way.  It felt very comfortable, so I ended up sharing a lot about our FLR and spanking relationship with her.  I was surprised that nothing I said appeared to shock her and she was extremely intrigued by everything I shared.  At one point, she shared that she wished that she and her husband had enjoyed such a relationship.

The end result was that I shared with her Barry's desire to have a witness to his spanking.  I also asked her how she would feel about observing a spanking session and creating an embarrassing situation for him.  To my surprise, she was very interested and actually seemed quite excited about such opportunity.  So, Helen has been invited to dinner tomorrow night and I plan to administer another punishment spanking to Barry for his recent activities.  I also plan to require Barry to explain to Helen why he is being punished while he is naked and ready to go over my lap.

Barry doesn't know about this yet, and I will admit that I'm a little anxious about what I have set into motion.  During dinner tonight I will share with him that he will be punished again tomorrow night and that Helen will be present to witness it.  I'm sure I'll have a better idea at that point of whether it is a mistake.  If I feel it is, I can always call it off or postpone it.


Sunday, January 31, 2016

Barry's Turn - A Sharing

I am writing this post at the request (actually a demand) from Susan.  It's part of my punishment for my poor judgement and behavior.  I don't blame her for requiring me to do this.  Some of you have been suggesting that I share more on the blog and you deserve to hear from me about why I did the things I did.

The last couple of days Susan has relentlessly pushed the question of how and why I could have thought it was appropriate to see a professional disciplinarian without talking with her about it.  I don't do well with those types of questions.  I find them hard to answer and to explain my feelings.  But Susan has pushed very hard and forced me to at least attempt to give her some answers.

I don't have good reasons for my behavior because there aren't any.  I was stupid and thoughtless.  Because of that I ended up thinking with my dick and not my brain.  During the past few months we each faced health issues at different times.    We drifted away from our normal routines of sex and devotion to each other.  Stupidly, instead of sharing my disappointment and desires with Susan, I turned to spanking internet porn and my hand.  As I again became addicted to that form of sexual pleasure, I knew it was wrong.  I also knew I needed help to break the habit.   I also felt I needed to be spanked (Susan would say that I didn't 'need' to be spanked, but I 'desired' to be spanked. She is probably right.   Instead of sharing that need or desire with Susan, I went elsewhere. That was a huge mistake and I knew it at the time.  But I still went and did it.

A bigger question is "Why did I feel that need or desire to be spanked?"  This is the type of question that is hard for me to find an answer.  After discussions with Susan, I think it is because I have a need (or desire) to be embarrassed or humiliated by another woman.  I have always had a complex about my penis size and find it extremely embarrassing to have to expose it when my bottom is bared for a spanking.  Yet, somehow I crave to have that happen.  And, I can't explain that.  It just is.

So, I probably visited the disciplinarian to be humiliated, which perhaps I thought would help me break the relapse addiction to spanking porn and jerking off. I don't know.  I just know I was stupid.

I have not shared the above explanation with Susan or you to seek your sympathy or forgiveness.  I know what I did was wrong.  I knew it was wrong when I did it.  And I know that my explanation does not justify my actions.

I also know I am a very lucky man to have a wife like Susan.  At this time I also know I don't deserve her, but I'm very glad that she is still here and willing to make our marriage work.

I also want to thank the readers of this blog for your support of Susan and me during our journey into the lifestyle we have chosen.  You have been very helpful and supportive of her especially.


Friday, January 29, 2016

Barry's Confessions

During dinner Wednesday evening, Barry and I had a conversation concerning how good it feels to be back on track in our relationship.  We had each felt completely out of sorts during the past few months.  Barry was also very appreciative of my spanking him on Sunday.  After dinner, while we were doing dishes together, I could sense that Barry was uneasy and he seemed like there was something that he wanted to say.  "What is it?" I asked.

After some stammering and hesitation, he finally shared that there are a couple of things that he needs to confess to me concerning his behavior the past few months.  With some encouragement, he finally told me that he had reverted back to spending too much time on his computer watching spanking porn, and that he was again masturbating more than he feels is healthy for our relationship.  I shared his concern about those two habits and asked him what he thought could help him.  The answer was a request for discipline from me.  I suggested that we could begin that night.  He then went back into his "quiet" mode and I could again tell that there was something else that he wasn't saying.  Again, after some probing, he finally blurted out that he had seen a professional disciplinarian a couple of times last fall.

This caught me completely by surprise and I blurted out my shock and dismay that he would seek someone else to provide him with discipline, especially after how far we have come together the past few years.  I was very hurt and I let him know that I felt like he had cheated on me. As the conversation continued, he finally admitted that he has seen this woman three times during the course of the fall.  He didn't feel like it was cheating it was just for spanking discipline and there was no sexual contact involved.  However, he also eventually admitted that as part of his discipline for the masturbation issue, on two occasions she required him to stand in front of her and masturbate to orgasm.

After regaining some composure and cooling down a little bit, I finally asked him what he thought we should do about that behavior.  Much to my surprise, his response was "I need to be punished because I have betrayed your love and your trust."   After telling him that I was glad that he had used the word "punished" this time, and not just "disciplined", I told him to proceed to the bathroom and take a shower; and to then meet me in our bedroom.

While he was showering, I began to prepare the bedroom for what I had planned for Barry.  After bringing in a straight-back dining room chair and his notebook PC, I then began to place a variety of our spanking implements on our bed, as well as a bright red baby doll nightgown with matching panties (as a punishment outfit for Barry).

When Barry appeared in his bathrobe, I directed him to put on his punishment outfit and to sit on the dining chair and await my return.  I then took a shower to give myself some time to think and compose myself.  When I returned to the bedroom, I advised Barry that we would first deal with the PC porn.  I directed him to pick out three implements and bring them to me.  While he as making his selections, I took the notebook PC and sat in the dining chair.  After locating a video that I knew he liked of a man being spanked OTK by a women, I placed the PC on the floor to the left of the chair.  Barry finally made his selections (a small leather paddle, a small wooden paddle, and a hairbrush) and brought them to me.  I placed them on the floor to the left of the chair, along with the PC.  

 I then began to scold and lecture Barry as he stood in front of me.  His erection was obvious, so I also commented that it didn't appear that he was very sorry about what he had done and assured him that his sense of pleasure between his legs would soon disappear.   I then took Barry over my lap and  directed him to start the video.  I told him that I planned to spank him until it finished (it was between 25 and 30 minutes long).  started in with a hand spanking over his panties.  His head was about a foot away from the PC and the implements that would soon be put to use.  I made him hand each one to me as I wanted to use it, saving the hairbrush for last.  After using my hand and the first implement, I also made him stand so I could remove his panties, although they offered little protection.  By that time his erection was beginning to fade.

By the time I and the video finished, I had him wriggling and yelping, and when he stood up, it was apparent that his penis was completely flacid.

"let's now deal with your masturbation issue", I announced.  "First, I want you to get your penis hard again".  It took him about five minutes, but he finally achieved a meaningful erection.  It was clear that he wasn't finding this as sexually exciting as he had hoped. "I want you on your knees and elbows on the bed ...with your legs spread, so I can have access to your bottom and your genitals."  Taking a 24" wooden ruler paddle in my left hand, I began to paddle his already very red bottom while I used my left hand to reach under this belly and find his penis.  Barry doesn't enjoy this paddle because it provides a lot of intense sting to both cheeks each time it lands.  However, I was able to monitor his state of arousal and keep his penis erect while still administering a pretty severe paddling.  Near the end, I stopped the teasing and just let him experience lots and lots of sting during the final thirty swats I administered.

Allowing Barry to stand up, it was obvious that his erection had again disappeared.  I informed him that he was now going to stand in front of me and show me how masturbated for his disciplinarian.   He tried to beg off by saying he didn't think he could get hard again.  He did have a problem, which didn't surprise me, so I brought out the Hitachi vibrator to provide some assistance in achieving an erection.  Once hard, however, the vibrator was shut off and Barry was forced to complete the act by himself.  I made him ejaculate into his red panties, which I then rolled up to used as a gag during his final punishment.

"OK, now it time to deal with your cheating on me with the disciplinarian", I announced. "Noooooo", he begged.  However, he quickly realized that I would not be dissuaded.  By this time Barry's bottom was bright red and beginning to mark a bit.  However, I still planned to punish him for seeing the disciplinarian.   I brought out a pair of bright pink spandex panties which tightly cover his bottom very nicely.  I thought they would give him a little protection, as well as hold the burning sensation in his bottom quite nicely for his final paddling.  I then fastened his wrists together with a pair of our cuffs, placed his soiled panties in his mouth, and took him back over my lap while I sat in the chair.  I had previously placed our medium sized lexan paddle next to the chair within easy reach, but I don't think Barry saw me do so.   The lexan is his most dreaded implement and the first swat with it took him completely by surprise!  I then proceeded to slowly scold him while methodically using the paddle.  At one point  I paused to lower his panties to check on the condition of his bottom.  He thought I was going to keep them down and began to frantically beg me not to do so (at least that's what I assumed was coming out of his muffled mouth).  However, his bottom was OK, so I pulled the panties back up and resumed the paddling.  By the time I stopped, Barry was limp across my lap and quietly sobbing.

When it was over, I had Barry sit on my lap so I could hold and cuddle him and let him know that I still loved him.  However, I also let him know that if he ever did such a foolish thing again, this paddling would seem like a warm up spanking.

I had Barry sleep in the spandex panties that night.  In the morning, I locked him in his cage, where I plan to keep him until I feel he is ready to be trusted with respect to masturbation again.

It has been a long time since I administered this type of serious punishment spanking to Barry.  I still hate to do it.  It is the one part of our relationship that I do not like.  However, it sometimes seems like the only way I can get through to him.  I hope this is the last time for a long time.

One thing I'm sure of though is that Barry still needs to be submissive and be spanked.  From his behavior and things he told me this week, it is clear that he has strong needs with respect to both.  I want to be able to meet those needs and have him meet mine as well.


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Getting Back to Normal

While we dealt with health issues, Barry and I got into a low time with respect to being responsive and caring for each other. It has not been a good time.  With my re-awakening, I realized what had been so good in our past few years and decided that, if I wanted to have that life again, I had to take action.

Barry recently helped me take that action.  Sunday afternoon, I went grocery shopping about the time that the Patriots/Denver game started.  Having lived in New England for many years, Barry is still an avid Patriots fan. 

When I arrived home, I unloaded the car and took care of all of the groceries.  Barry normally helps me, but I didn't think anything about it, because I assumed that he was engrossed in the game. However, when I went to look for him, he was not in front of the TV.  Instead, he was in his office and engrossed by his PC ... and his focus was spanking porn.

I quickly decided that I needed to take this opportunity to make some changes.  It was clear in my mind that we both needed that to get out of our current funk.  So, I grabbed Barry by the ear and led him into our bedroom!  The look of shock on his face was priceless.  Once in the bedroom, I directed him to strip down to his underpants and to then stand in the corner until I returned.

I then left the room to retrieve a straight chair from our dining room and to fix myself a cup of tea to help me gather my thoughts.  After about ten minutes I returned with the chair and got out our collection of spanking implements and placed them on the bed.  I then seated myself on the dining room chair in the middle of the room and directed Barry to come to me. Making him stand in front of me, I then scolded him about his lack of courtesy and helpfulness to me.  While doing so, I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he had a firm erection (something which doesn't occur all that often due to his ED).  After making him bring me a hairbrush, I slowly lowered his jockey shorts (During our low time, Barry stopped wearing panties and stopped keeping himself smooth shaven down there).  I commented about how excited he appeared and questioned how long he thought that would last once I started his spanking.

I then took him over my lap, taking care to make sure his erect penis was trapped between my thighs where I could monitor its condition.  After a moderately severe spanking (I purposely went easy on him due to the length of time it has been since I have spanked him and because I wanted to see if he could maintain his erection),  I stopped and made him stand up.  To my surprise and pleasure, he was still sporting a very firm member.  I couldn't help but joke with him about one of his father's crude old age adages about "never wasting an erection".  I also suggested that we honor that sage advice.  Teasing him with my hands I led him to the bed and had him lie on his back.  I then straddled and mounted him, and proceeded to ride him to an orgasm (for him, not me).  He was absolutely thrilled, because it had been quite some time since he has been able to achieve that type of feat.  He also responded appropriately by getting into position to please me orally, which we have also not done in several months.

Afterwards, while lying in each others arms, I suggested that we rekindle our interest in Devotional Sex and our FLR.  Barry quickly agreed and asked if I would help him shave later that evening.  By Monday morning, not only was Barry nice and smooth from his waist to mid thigh, but he was also back to wearing panties and sporting his chastity cage as a sign of devotion to me.

I'm very optimistic that things will be improving in the coming days.


Sunday, January 24, 2016

Life is Challenging Sometimes

It's been a long time since I have posted anything ... or even logged into this blog.  I apologize. Life has been challenging the last few months.  Barry and I have each had some additional health issues.  However, we are both now OK.

A few nights ago I finally logged into this blog and saw the comment from "sub hub in phx".  I was very touched by his comments about us being missed and hoping that we would return. Thank you "sub hub".

To make a long story short, Barry and I have each had health issues, which caused us to get away from our normal pursuit of fully enjoying and pleasing each other ... and from me pursuing this blog. I have also now come to realize how tough it has been on each of us.   We've been in a period of just trying to survive.  We are now moving back into a FLR and Devotional Sex, which we both feel is a gift to each of us.

We will each do our best to again try to share how we approach this type of relationship.  I have talked with Barry again about him becoming involved in this blog.  I think it is important for both of us.

I wish life could be easier for all of us.  However, I am extremely thankful for the relationship that Barry and I enjoy.  It is a special gift.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Power of Role Play and Prostrate Stimulation

I very much appreciate the comments and suggestions submitted concerning Barry's ED.  It is not a fun thing for either one of us, but we are working together to find ways to address and deal with it.

Last weekend, I decided to try something as a surprise to Barry.  I hoped that the surprise factor might be helpful.  We had not used 'role play' for quite some time, so I decided to so.  After dinner on Saturday evening, I suggested that he go take a shower, put on his suit, and meet me in his office. When he arrived, I was dressed in a business suit and assumed the role of his boss. I confronted him with evidence that he had been spanking his female subordinates and also spending significant time surfing the internet sex sites during his work time.

I'm not going to go into details, but he agreed to do anything I asked rather than lose his job.  My requirements included his being spanked and pegged. It didn't take long for him to have a raging erection, which pleased both of us.

As we get older and deal with things like ED, one of our adages is "Never waste an erection". Needless to say, we didn't.

So, now the question is what caused his reaction?  Was it the role play or the pegging?  Will it continue? (I plan to find out). I also hope to explore other options.

Who knows where this will lead and whether or not the same thing will work again. However, we are both encouraged.

We continue to learn and grow.


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Adjusting to Erectile Dysfunction - Continued

I want to express my appreciation for the responses to my last post. I really appreciate the caring and support that Barry and I receive.  We continue to work through this and we are open to new ideas. Tri-mix definitely falls into the category of new ideas for us; and we will explore it.  However, I'm not sure we will explore it through a gyn doctor.  I'm not sure why the anonymous comment made that suggestion as a source.  Perhaps more could be shared to help us understand.

We have been and continue to work with more direct physical support.  We are currently using the Ride-on dildo that slips over Barry's penis when I have a desire to be penetrated.  It works well when Barry can achieve some level of erection.  It also makes him feel good about being able to penetrate me.  However, I have to confess that I used to joke about it being my trophy cock.  It no longer feels that way, because I miss the realness of Barry's penis. It's not the same and I miss that realness of his erection within me.  However, it is still wonderful.

What is more wonderful is Barry's desire to please me with his mouth and his hands.  Those skills were already developed as we moved into the realm of devotional sex. I am also now learning how to develop new devotional sex skills to please Barry.  It is a wonderful equalizing gift. It also makes each of us more fully appreciate the concept of devotional sex. We each want to please each other.  And we each need to find new ways to do so.  The good news is that we are each doing that.

Thank you, my friends, for your understanding and support. As or lives change,understanding, caring, and support is important.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Adjusting to a Life with Erectile Dysfunction

ED is something that Barry and I are learning to live with.  It is also something that we each agree we should share in this blog, because we know we are not alone in this journey.  However, it is something that most couples aren't comfortable talking about.  I'm extremely proud of Barry for being supportive of us talking about what it is and how we deal with it.  We each feel it is important to share.

The most important thing that we have learned is that ED can be a precursor sign of higher risk for a heart attack.  We wish we knew that before Barry experienced his heart attack over a year ago.  He had been periodically experiencing ED prior to that and had discussed it with his primary care physician.  However, the physician never mentioned that this could be a preliminary sign of heart issues.  So if your lover is experiencing ED, please be alert to other possible indicators or risk factors with respect to heart disease. That is probably the most important thing I can share.  We were lucky.  Barry had a heart attack and is still here!

What is ED?

I'm sure the specific symptoms can vary between different males.  However, for Barry, it has involved difficulty in achieving a firm erection and the inability to sustain a firm erection for any significant period of time.  He still has sexual urges and desires.  He can still ejaculate (although it usually requires significant and prolonged stimulation).  However, he frequently can not achieve or maintain an erection of sufficient firmness to penetrate and stimulate me for more than a moment or so.  That is particularly frustrating to him, and also to me.

So, how do you deal with ED?

The answer to this question is an ongoing process for us.  I don't think there are any hard and fast answers.  We've had to find our own path, and we are continuing to learn new things.  I'm very thankful that we had previously learned about "devotional sex" and practiced some aspects of it. That has helped us be more attuned to wanting to please each other.  That has also  allowed us to be more open to exploring different ways to please each other that do not involve Barry penetrating me.  In fact, prior to the ED issue, Barry became quite adept at providing me with an orgasm without penetrating me.  I've had a bit of a higher learning curve with respect to finding appropriate ways to please him, but I'm getting there.

In many ways, it is beautiful that we've had to adapt and find new ways to please each other.  We each realize that providing that pleasure is the most important aspect of a sexual relationship.  And, we are each committed to doing that.  We have learned that sexual pleasure can come from many different types of loving acts, and it doesn't have to be limited to what we have always done before.

In some future posts, I will try to share some of what we have learned.  I'm not yet clear how detailed we are willing to get.  However, I will do my best to share some meaningful information.

I hope that others can benefit from what Barry and I are experiencing.


Thursday, August 13, 2015

A Challenging Summer

I want to begin by expressing my appreciation to those of you who submitted comments or sent emails to me indicating that you missed us and hoped we were OK.  I can't begin to adequately share how meaningful they were.

It's been a tough spring and summer for Barry and me, but we are fine.  Shortly after my last post, we learned that Barry was still having some heart issues.  Fortunately, he didn't have another heart attack, because we acted promptly.  However, he did end up with two more stents being installed.  Since then, my complete focus has been on his rehab and working to learn and do all we can to help prevent another episode.  Consequently, my heart and mind have not been on posting.  I'm just now beginning to realize how much I miss it.  And, I want to apologize for not at least posting something to share what was going on in our lives.

This recent heart event, along with some additional medications that Barry is taking, has created another surprise in our lives ... erectile dysfunction.  Barry had previously experienced it on occasion.  However, after this heart event, it came on with a vengeance.   We have learned that it is pretty common with heart situations.  Needless to say, it is frustrating to both of us, but especially for Barry.  However, we have been learning how to work with it.  I don't want to go into more detail right now, but will try to share more in subsequent posts.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Surprises for Each of Us

Barry's punishment didn't take place until Tuesday night due to some unanticipated events Sunday night and Monday.  However, when it did occur, we were each in for a bit of a surprise.

After dinner, I directed Barry to shower and dress in the punishment outfit I had placed on our bed for him.  It consisted of a black garter belt and black stockings, his punishment panties (red, sheer nylon that snugly cover his entire bottom), and a black nylon teddy that comes down to mid thigh on him.  I love the way the garter belt and stocking frame his bottom for a spanking.  I also advised him to bring the wooden hairbrush to the living room when he is dressed.

About a half hour later Barry appeared in the living room looking very aroused with his erect penis serving as a tent pole in his panties.  I had placed a straight chair in the center of the room and he quickly found himself draped over my lap.  Before I began, I asked him if he knew why he was being punished.  He did and admitted that he shouldn't stare at and ogle other women's bottoms because he knows how much I dislike him to do so.  

I also commented about how aroused he was, which prompted an answer and comment that would be my surprise:  Barry informed me that he has missed these punishment spankings lately.  As I probed more, he admitted that he had purposely tried to irritate me on the trip so that I would finally give him one again!  I never saw that coming.

I then administered a very hard hair brushing, first over his panties and then on his bare.  It didn't take long for his erection to disappear.  When I finally finished, I placed him in the corner and told him to remain there until I came back.  He made a comment about being surprised that I was done with him so quickly.  He seemed pleased when I advised him that I was no where near being done; and that the hairbrush spanking was just a warm up.

After about 15 minutes, I returned to the living room with a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs, which I placed on Barry's wrists with his hands in front of him.  I then led him into the dining room where I had placed our Liberator ramp on the end of the dining room table.  I had Barry bend over it with his hands out in front of him.  The ramp was a perfect height and angle to present his bottom to be for the implements I had placed on the sideboard (which Barry could not see do to the blindfold).

I then selected my first implement, rubbed in against his panty clad bottom, and asked him to guess what it was.  He was pretty close.  He guessed a ruler, when it was actually our ruler paddle.  I told him he would received ten with it over his panties, followed by twenty on his bare bottom.  He was dancing nicely by the time I was done.  I then selected the second implement and made him guess again.  This time he was completely wrong, thinking it was a hard leather paddle when it was a lexan paddle.  Twenty-five on the bare had him begging me to stop.  The third implement (leather strap) was guessed correctly and I gave him twenty.  

Then came Barry's surprise for the night.  The last implement was a lovely new straight rattan cane from the folks at Cane-iac.  I had ordered it on our trip and it was waiting for me when we arrived home.  When he tried to guess what it was, Barry had no idea until I swished it through the air.  He immediately let out a loud sigh.  Barry has always had a fear of the cane, so I knew this would get his attention.  After giving him a few light test taps with it, I advised him that he was going to receive twelve strokes with it.  I have to proudly admit that I did quite a nice job of placing twelve red stripes across his bottom and sit spot (I had practiced a little with it using a pillow as my target).  I was surprised at how well he took it (I think he was too).   It certainly go his attention.

We then progressed to the bedroom where I applied some aloe cream to his tender cheeks.  I then allowed him to worship my bottom, which of course led to other pleasures.

Given the fact that Barry has missed the harder discipline spankings, I assured him that I would do my best to find some reasons to keep him happier in the future <grin>.


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Back at Home ... and some thoughts

Barry and I arrived home after a glorious time in the southwest.  We spent most of our time in New Mexico and Arizona.  The natural scenery and monuments were absolutely beautiful, and we loved the Santa Fe area.  It was wonderful to have time to just relax and explore without being on a time frame or having to be at any one place at a given time.  We loved the flexibility of staying in an area until we were ready to move on.  Traveling during shoulder season while retired is a wonderful gift that we don't take for granted.

An interesting side of the trip was Barry's behavior while we were away, especially in restaurants.  I suspect it was exacerbated by the fact that we ate so many meals out (We did have a few hotels with small kitchenettes, where we could bring food in to heat up in a microwave and we did make some picnic lunches.  However, most meals were in restaurants.)    Barry's desire/need to stare at/ogle women's behinds reappeared ... BIG TIME.  I think he also felt a bit safe in misbehaving, because most of our lodging was inexpensive facilities with limited sound-proofing.  Because of that, there really were not any opportunities to administer a proper punishment spanking while we were away.  I warned him that he would pay a price when we returned home, but I suspect he didn't think I would really do that (he was wrong ... tonight he will learn that I meant what I said).

However, this experience has made me wonder about the male fascination with the female behind.  Is Barry unique in his fascination? (I suspect not); is he typical?; or is there a spectrum among males with this fascination?  What do the male readers of this blog think?  I suspect it is not a scientific sampling, since the readers obviously have an interest in spanking.  However, I'd still like to hear your thoughts and perspectives.

It feels good to be home and to share something on this blog.


Monday, April 6, 2015

Time to Travel and Have Fun

Barry and I have always wanted to travel, but never had the time to do so before we retired.  After each of our health issues, we made a pledge to do so.  We are now making good on that pledge.  We have decided that we need to travel while we still have our health, so we are going to do so.

We are also very fortunate to have the financial capability to do at least some travel.  So, we have made some plans for several trips this year.    We leave Thursday on our first excursion, an extensive road trip to the southwest.  It is an area that has intrigued both of us, so we are each excited.  Since it is still 'off-season', we have not made any reservations.  We are going to go where the spirit leads us, and we are not sure when we will return home.

We have another trip planned for the fall.  I'll share more about that later.

So, expect some long absences (or at least, much fewer posts).  As you know, I have absented myself from this blog previously because I don't like to be tied down.  I don't make any promises about posting while we are traveling.  If he spirit moves me, I will do so.  If I'm not moved, I won't.  I must confess, that I'm looking forward to this freedom ... and time for Barry and me to just enjoy each other and new experiences.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Responding to a Question

A short time ago, the following comment was posted to one of my blog entries.  I also have received some individual email concerning the same topic.

Dear Susan
I am reading through your wonderful blog and realizing you have dealt successfully with what is a huge problem for me and that is my husbands chronic masturbation habit. We have been in a domestic discipline relationship for almost three years and I regularly spank him for violating rules we have both agreed upon. Masturbation without my permission is a major no no. But spanking has had almost no lasting effect on his masturbation much of what he hides from me. To my point, will you maybe in a single post talk about how you have gotten Barry under control and what advice you would give to wives struggling with the same behavior. I know this is a common problem and maybe there are other wives who would benefit from your thoughts as much as I will

Thank you

Mary Ann

I've been giving the question some considerable thought this week as Barry and I transitioned back to a normal routine.  I think I'm finally ready to try to provide a meaningful answer to the question.

When Barry and I first began this journey, he had a masturbation addiction which was threatening our sex life (and our marriage).  At that time he also expressed his need to be spanked.  I initially tried a variety of approaches to deal with his masturbation.  They mostly centered on punishment, including some pretty severe spanking.  I also tried locking him in a chastity cage (which, at one point he found a way to remove).  My various efforts provided short term solutions.  However, as I look back on it now, none of them provided a long term solution or cure to his masturbation addiction.  Any addiction is a disease.  And I have also come to understand that any attempt to deal with that disease must come from the person who is suffering from it.  It can't come from outside forces, such as punishment.

I am extremely thankful that Barry has found a way to deal with his addiction.  I also think I have come to understand what has helped him do so.  It wasn't the spankings I gave him.  It also wasn't the cage.  I believe it was the new life-style we assumed when we discovered and each worked to implement Devotional Sex for both of us.   I must also share that we practice a version of Devotional Sex that is a little different that what is included on he web ... primarily because of Barry's strong submissive nature/desires and his interest in what some would consider to be "kinky" sex.  However, what we did implement was a desire for each of us to be devoted to pleasing each other.  That has become the ultimate goal of each of us.  We do include the aspect that I am in control, which fits very nicely with Barry's submissiveness.

Since we both bought into Devotional Sex, we have greatly increased the amount of opportunities when we spend quality sexual time together (which previously had not been a priority for me).  Each opportunity does not result in sexual gratification for Barry (because I am in control).  However, the increased number of opportunities for sexual engagement has resulted in an increased number of times that Barry receives sexual gratification.  And, the times when  he is not gratified, cause him to desire me even more, because he knows we are each enjoying sexual activity together.  And he has come to realize that our sex life is much better for BOTH of us.

I have come to understand and appreciate that it takes both of us to create a healthy and happy sex life.  Barry has also come to understand that, and consequently, works harder to find ways to please me sexually.  Each of us working together is what I believe has resolved his masturbation addiction.   That is because he now desires to have me please him, rather than using his hand.  And, that happens more often.  I also want to do it more often, because Barry's focus is also to please me.

Devotional Sex has been a gift to us. 


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 3 (Saturday afternoon and evening)

Carol led me to the dining room, where I found a bare dining room table with no chairs around it.  The table is one that can allow extension pieces to be put into it to make it larger.  Carol had opened the table about 4 inches, so there was a small gap in the middle. She had also brought the bondage system from Barry's bed and installed it under the table, so that there were bondage points extending from each of the tables four legs.

As I looked on in amazement, Carol began to explain her thought process.  Barry would lie face down on the table and be bound spread-eagled to the four legs.  She would stay outside the table or on top of it, straddling Barry ... where she could spank him.  I would be below, where I could do whatever I wanted to do with respect to his penis and testicles which would be hanging down.  It would allow us to create the scenario in the video he loves ... with two, not one, individuals involved.  It would also allow us to spank and tease Barry at the same time.  And, it would allow me to do whatever I wanted to do to Barry without Carol knowing what I was doing.   I couldn't believe what she had created.  I quickly said, "Let's do it".

We decided to blindfold Barry before bringing him into the dining room.  We led him there and then helped him climb on the table, where we made sure his manhood protruded into the slot available and then bound his ankles and wrists to the four corners.  I quietly went below, while Carol began to lightly spank him.  When I first touched his penis, I could tell he was surprised (and pleased).

Carol then continued to spank him as I continued to sexually tease him.  We didn't verbally communicate, but I was able to keep him aroused as she intensified the spanking.  We kept him on edge for what must have been at least a half hour.  There came a point when she slowed down the spanking.  That gave me an opportunity to ask Barry if he wanted to climax.  Of course he did.  When he said "yes", I informed him that there would be a price to pay.  By this point, he was just needing to climax, and was ready to agree to anything.  We had kept him sexually aroused (off and on) for almost 18 hours.

I could tell that Carol was continuing to back off on the spanking, so I increased the manual stimulation.  But, I also made sure I kept him under control.  I also reminded Barry that he needed to have our permission to climax. He was finally again begging for permission for a release.  When I finally gave it to him, he climaxed in a matter of 10 or 15 seconds.  And his seminal fluid went everywhere!

And then I reminded Barry that there was a price to pay.  And, I kept stroking and teasing his penis.  Thankfully, Carol was still sitting on his back and she realized what was going on.  She stayed there as I kept stroking and teasing.  She also resumed a light spanking.

It was clear that Barry was in distress, but I also sensed that he was loving it in a way.  I continued for for what must have been several minutes before I stopped.  When I did, it was clear that it was a relief.

We eventually released him from the table and Carol led him back to the family room, where she bound him to the theater chair while I took a shower.  I had his cum all over me, including in my hair.  We let him rest in the chair for over an hour. We then started showing him photos from the flash drive.  Much to my surprise his penis came back to life.

So, using the Hitachi, I made him climax again.

After another hour, we repeated this process.  Again, I was surprised at his response.  After another hour, when I tried again, he achieved an erection, but even the Hitachi could not induce a climax.  We had worn him out.

At this point Carol and I looked at each other and shared the joy of achieving all of our goals.  Barry had wanted some realism.  And, Carol and I had set a goal of giving Barry lots of pleasure, as well as frustration, and meeting his desire for experiencing some reality.  That final goal of his was achieved by hopefully making him understand that fantasy is very different than reality.  We provided a lot of fantasy, but in the end, we provided some harsh reality.

It was after 6 PM by this time, so we heated up the lasagna and enjoyed a relaxing dinner together, with some wine, and used that opportunity to debrief.

Barry was the first to share and his initial comment was "I don't ever want to receive a two quart enema again."  I couldn't help myself and I giggled a little bit when I asked him "But, since you have a number of enema bag photos, I thought that was something that intrigued you."  He admitted that it was, but that he learned the hard way that it is better left as a fantasy.  He did say that he enjoyed lying over Carol's lap as it went in, that the pleasure ended there.  Standing in the shower and holding it was awful and it seemed like it would never all get out of him.  Barry seemed to like everything else.  He specifically commented positively about the prolonged spankings and how sore his bottom now is, even though the spankings were not hard to endure at the time.  He also commented about how being edged for so long was difficult, but rewarding at the same time.   He had similar feelings about his time on the milking table in the dining room.  He loved it, even though the continued stroking after his orgasm was hard to endure.  He especially liked the realism that Carol and I brought to the role play and the way we played our roles.  He also commented about being blindfolded at different times and how that made things feel more intense.  It was clear that he was pleased and that the enema was the only negative part of the role play for him.

Carol and I were equally positive.  I was very happy with how she handled her additional freedom to participate more.  She and I are quite comfortable working together.  The only negative for me was that I was somewhat inhibited by Carol's presence sometimes.  There were sexual things that I would have liked to do if Barry and I were alone, but I was not comfortable doing them in front of Carol.  I really appreciated the fact that when she created the milking table in the dining room, she stayed on top of the table and left be below with Barry's dangling penis and testicles.  However, knowing she could hear what I was doing and the fact that I didn't know what Barry would say at any time, I  was still somewhat inhibited.  However, that is minor.  The important thing is that Barry and I each have a high level of trust in her, so we are OK letting her enter this realm of our life.

As a final note, I was amazed at Carol's creativity in helping me create this role play, especially with respect to utilizing furniture in her house.  The theater chair, ottoman, and dining room table provided amazing "pervertible" furniture to create an atmosphere for Barry.

By 9 PM, it was time for Barry and me to head home.  My car was in her driveway, since I had driven there on Friday afternoon and rode back to our home in her car in preparation for us using it to kidnap Barry.  I think we were all exhausted, but I also had some other needs that needed to be met before we were done.  Barry wasn't the only one who was kept on edge for a little over 24 hours!


Monday, March 30, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 2 (Friday night/Saturday morning)

When Barry came into the kitchen, it was obvious that he hadn't enjoyed the enema experience.  He was quite grumpy and had no signs of an erection.  We had him sit on a hard stool at the counter and asked if he would like some lasagna.  He took it, but barely touched it as we continued to make it clear that we were in charge and that he would be soundly spanked as soon as he finished.

We finally gave him five minutes to finish his plate, at which time we would remove it from him.  When the time was up, we led him into Carol's family room/entertainment center.

In that room, we had set up several areas of activity.  The first one that Barry noticed was two straight-backed chairs facing each other.  He knew from experience what that meant, and it was evident that it excited him.

He next noticed the two theater chairs similar those pictured here, which had a pair of wrist cuffs attached to each arm.  The two ottomans were placed to each side of one of the chairs and each had a length of thick nylon rope attached to its base.  It didn't take Barry long to realize he would be well secured with his legs spread.

He then looked at the huge flat-screen TV which the chairs faced.  On the piece of furniture below the TV was Carol's laptop, connected to the TV system with the flash drive containing all of Barry's porn files.  Near the chairs was a table containing an array of toys that I had provided, including:  Barry's penis pump, an electric toothbrush, a Wartenberg wheel, small pieces of sandpaper, our Hitachi vibrator, a Fleshlight (newly purchased), several tubes of various creams, and a dozen spring-loaded clothes pins,

Finally on the other side of the room was a "pervertable" spanking
bench that Carol had created using a large upholstered ottoman (2' x 3') to which Carol had tied length of nylon rope to each foot.  There was also a table nearby that contained a wide variety of spanking tools, including thin wooden paddles of various sizes (some of which were new purchases), leather paddles, a wooden ruler, a leather strap, and a cane (new purchase).

I then explained to Barry that during his stay at the "Retreat" house, he was going to be kept constantly aroused and be frequently spanked.  His response was a hardening erection.

Carol and I started on the evening activities by taking him over our laps as we sat in the chairs facing each other.  We must have spanked him for at least 30 minutes, making sure we kept him aroused, but also making sure we were continually increasing the redness of his bottom and thighs.  We then secured him to his theater chair in a completely exposed position.  After starting a video from his porn collection, we used the various toys available to tease him.  After teasing him with the Wartenberg wheel, Carol installed the penis pump and pumped all the air out of it.  After leaving him like that for over a half hour as we watched videos, we took it off and moved him to the ottoman spanking bench, which we made him straddle with his legs and lie on it face down before we secured his hands and ankles to the four legs.  That position left him completely exposed to us.  One of us then straddled his back as we both paddled him (again, keeping him aroused, as well as well spanked).

By about 11 PM, as we placed him in the theater chair for the third time and after Barry had experienced all of the toys there (including clothespins on his nipples and scrotum), Barry began to beg us to let him cum.  Being compassionate, I told Barry that if he wanted to cum, we would give him 60 seconds to masturbate in front of us, like he did in what the hidden camera recorded in his office.  He quickly agreed; and then learned that it wouldn't be that easy.  Before allowing him to start, I rubbed lidocaine cream on the head and shaft of his penis and then covered him with two condoms.  We then delayed him from masturbating for over twenty minutes, providing time for the lidocaine to work.

When the timer went off indicating the end of his 60 seconds, we announced that it was time for another spanking and then to go to bed ... but perhaps we'd give another chance to masturbate in teh morning.  After taking him across both our laps again for a lengthy spanking with our hands and several thin paddles, and we led him into one of Carol's guest rooms.  There he saw a full size bed with no top sheet or blankets, but with the bed restraint system that we had used for our Christmas get-a-way.  After rubbing a little "Icey-Hot" onto his bottom and then securing him to the bed on his back in a spread-eagle position, I rubbed a second little dab of "Icey-Hot" onto his scrotum.  Neither were enough to cause any real pain, but enough to let him think of Carol and me as he tried to sleep.

During the night, Carol and I took turns visiting Barry to either spank or sexually arouse him every hour and a half.  Since I was sleeping in a guest room next to Barry's room, I couldn't help but hear Carol when she arrived for the first session.  It was apparent that she was teasing him with the Hitachi vibrator before giving him a lengthy spanking.  When my turn came an hour and a half later, I teased him to an erection and brought him to the edge before turning him over for a dose of our new bamboo paddle, which packs a very nice sting.  I must have slept through Carol's second visit.  At 9 in the morning, when we decided to get him up, it was clear that he hadn't had much sleep.  However, it was also clear that he was easily aroused.

After providing Barry with some breakfast we all returned to the family room, where we resumed the rotation of events we started the previous night, rotating between the two spanking stations and the theater chair where we showed him his favorite videos and photos while we physically and verbally teased him.  Of course, the toys were put to use as well.

Especially when we had him secured to the theater chair and watching videos or photos, Barry continued to beg for some sexual relief.  Around 1 PM, we had him watching a video he had saved called something like "Phantomette Handjob Torture".  A man is strapped to what looks like a kitchen table and is being strapped by a young women.  She eventually appears below the table, where his penis and scrotum are hanging through a hole in the table.  She proceeds to stroke him and tease him for a long period of time before she allows him to climax.  After she does, she then continues to stroke him, causing him great discomfort.  Barry was obviously very excited while watching it, when suddenly Carol jumped up and said "Hey, I have an idea". She then disappeared from the room.  When she returned, she asked me to come look at what she had arranged.  When I did so, I loved what I saw.

It was clear that she had found an unexpected way for us to move to the next stage of this role-play.  However, I should probably save that for the final installment.


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 1 (Friday night)

When Barry returned from Home Depot late Friday afternoon, Carol and I were sitting in the living room enjoying a cup of tea together.  When he greeted us, I became very formal and directed him to go to our bedroom and get dressed in the 'office' clothes I had placed on the bed for him.  I also informed him that he was then to go to his office and wait for us to arrive.  I told him that we were going to do a role play and that the setting was early evening on Friday.  He is working late because of a major project that has to be completed for Monday.  He thinks he is the only one in the office.  I also shared with him that Carol and I would be playing the roles we assumed for our last role play:  I am his current office assistant and Carol is a former one.  He then quickly departed for our bedroom without saying a word.

When we heard him go to his office, Carol and I then went to the bedroom to change our clothes.  We took our time, because I wanted Barry to have time to ponder what was going to happen and increase his anticipation.  We each changed into our formal and conservative office clothes.

When we walked into his office, Barry immediately assumed the role and setting I described.  He acted surprised that I was still in the office and had no idea why Carol was there.  I got right down to business with him and explained that I am very concerned and disappointed that he has not learned anything that I have been trying to teach him.  I explained that I recently learned that our office intern had unexpectedly resigned, so I contacted her.  I learned that she resigned because he had attempted to spank her for lack of productivity.  I also pointed to the ceiling of his office where I had tapped a small toy video camera.  I asked if he had noticed that being there the past week.  He again played the role and was shocked.  I told him that it showed some very disturbing behavior: including him sitting at his desk staring at his computer and doing something.  I then made him tell Carol and me what he was doing.  It took a while, but he finally admitted that he was masturbating.

Once I had that admission, I took our scenario to another level. I told him that because he was obviously using the computer to aid him, I had taken the opportunity when he was out of the office to spend some time on his computer.  I was able to quickly use Windows Explorer to find a set of folders containing a very interesting collection of porn.  I then let him know that his browser history was extremely revealing.  Bringing it all together, I then showed him a thumb drive.  I explained to him that it contained a copy of all of his porn files and copies of screen prints of his browser history.

I have to confess that I never knew that Barry had acting talents.  But he does!  His face seemed to go pale as he said "Oh, my God!"  He began to beg me to give it to him and was promising anything.

It was then that he began to understand that this was going to be his birthday celebration role play (since his birthday is almost a week away).  I explained to him that Carol and I were going to teach him a lesson that would hopefully help him change his ways.  As I talked, Carol and I went behind his desk to take him under control.  Carol placed a blindfold over his eyes while I put his hands in cuffs in front of him.  I explained to him that he was coming with us to a place for a bit of a "retreat"where he will hopefully learn to understand how it feels to be treated like he is treating his female employees.

He began to protest that he would be missed and this would never work.  I then shared with him that I had talked with his wife and explained that she knows what we are doing (and why) and is in agreement.  She is the only one who will miss him.

We then led him to our garage and placed him in the backseat of Carol's car.  We directed him to lie down and stay there.  We then drove to Carol's home, where we had prepared everything earlier that morning (while Barry thought I was out shopping).

Carol drove very carefully.  We each understood that it would be a disaster to be stopped by our local  police with a man in our back seat who was blindfolded and handcuffed.

When we arrived at Carol's home we drove into her garage, helped him out of her car, and led him into the house. Keeping him blindfolded, we led him into her bedroom.  It was obvious that he was disoriented.... and that is what we had hoped for. We then undressed him,down to his panties.  We had to take off the handcuffs, but we kept him blindfolded.  I made a point of telling Carol to dispose of his clothing, because he would not need them during his stay here with us. The look on his face was priceless.

Still blindfolded, but stripped down to only his panties.  Carol couldn't resist commenting about how cute they were on him and how much she loved the color pink on him.  We led him into Carol's master bathroom.  When she and her husband bought the home they completely remodeled it.  The master bath is amazing.  It is huge and contains a shower area that is completely open to the room, and allows for two people to shower at the same time.  It also includes fixed shower heads and removable heads that can be used wherever desired.

In the middle of this huge shower area, Carol had installed our handcuffs that use suction cups to mount to the walls.  We quickly put Barry into them, facing outward with his hands and arms extending outward to each side.  It was then that we took off his blindfold.  He had a good view of the entire room.  It was fun to watch him take in all of the things that we had arranged in the room.  There was a lot to observe.  However, his eyes went immediately to an enema bag hanging next to the shower.

Based on what I had seen in Barry's collection of photos on his PC, I was well aware of his fascination with enemas.  However, we had not really gone there (other than using Fleet bottles).  He quickly realized that we were going there.

At this point,Carol and I told Barry that we were going to prepare dinner.  We left him, handcuffed to the shower wall, enjoying (I hope) the view of lots of things we had arranged on the counter.  As a side note, he was still in his panties and in his cage. And, it was apparent that he was aroused and straining at the cage.  We left him there for a half hour, while we put a lasagna that Carol had prepared into the office and then changed into more appropriate clothing.

I wanted to dress in a way that would add to Barry's arousal, so I chose the bustier with garters, stockings and panties that I purchased and wore for our Christmas get-a-way.  Carol was more conservative and wore and exercise outfit consisting of tights and bra top.  When we returned, we began our fun with Barry.  Carol again  commented on his pink panties and how cute they were.  She also traced a line around his cage through them ... teasing him about the cage and asking him questions about why he was locked up.  I joined in the fun and showed Barry the key that his wife had given me earlier.  After removing his panties I unlocked him and removed the cage.  Carol and I then both marveled at how clean shaven he was from his waist to his knees.  Using our hands to check the smoothness, it didn't take long for Barry to become aroused again, which of course we teased him about.

We then explained some rules to him.  First, we made it clear that "we owned him" at this time and he is to do whatever we ask.  Second, since he seems to be so obsessed with spanking and sex, we intend to keep his bottom well spanked and his penis hard during this little "retreat".  However, he must not allow himself to climax unless we grant him permission.  Grabbing his scrotum, I informed him that he would be very sorry if he climaxes without permission.  I squeezed just hard enough to get his attention and cause him to wince.

Carol and I then decided that we liked the smooth look, so we would shave his entire torso.  Keeping him in the shower, we first used a small electric trimmer to remove the bulk of the hair, and then followed with shaving cream and a razor.  We didn't really need to shave his midsection, but we did anyway, because it was fun to do so.  I did his genitals, but allowed Carol to shave his bottom.  I especially wanted that shaved to increase its sensitivity to spanking!

When we were done, we rinsed Barry down with the handheld shower and turned him around so that he was facing the wall.  I then applied some after shave lotion to his bottom and we both began spanking his nice smooth bottom.  It didn't take long for our hands to bring some color to it.  We then
led Barry out of the shower and I suggested that Carol sit on the dressing stool and take Barry over her lap and continue to spank him.  While she did that, I began preparing the enema bag, which Barry couldn't help but see me doing.  Carol commented to Barry that she could feel him getting hard against her thigh, so he must be enjoying himself.  I also teased Barry a bit about whether I should use cold or warm water in the bag.  I ended up using luke warm water with a little bit of liquid hand soap.  When it was ready, I rehung the bag on the hook on the wall, which was within reach of Carol.  I then used my finger to put some lube in his anus and suggested that Carol administer the enema.  She did so and allowed the bag to slowly empty and periodically stopping it when Barry exhibited signs of cramps.  When it was finally empty, I handed Carol a large butt plug which I had lubed and suggested that she "put the plug in".  After doing so, we had Barry stand up so we could admire and massage his distended abdomen.  Our teasing brought a little life back to his now flacid penis.  We then put him back in the cuffs in the shower and left him there for a short time.

When we returned, it was clear that Barry was uncomfortable (and no sign of an erection).  We released him from the cuffs in the shower and instructed him to remove the plug over the toilet and expel the enema; and to not leave the bathroom until he was sure it was all out.  We explained that we would be in the kitchen having dinner and that he should reinsert the plug and come find us when he was done.

This post is getting much too long, I also must confess that I am exhausted.  So, this seems like a good place to stop.I will continue to share time and energy permits.


Friday, March 27, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play Takes Place Today

Barry doesn't know it yet, but in a little over an hour, he is going to get his birthday wish.  His birthday is next week, but this weekend provides a good time for Carol and me to enact his requested role play.  Carol has today and the weekend off from work.  She and I have been planning for almost three weeks now.  I decided to take Barry at his word that he wanted this to be a very realistic role play and not just a little fantasy.  At this point in our journey, I know I can trust his judgement.  I'm still not going to turn this into a major punishment session.  That is not what he requested.  But, he asked for realism, which is what Carol and I have planned.  He will be well spanked, but not to the degree that I consider punishment.  I want him to remain aroused, but still end up with a very sore and red bottom that he will remember for several days.  So, the spankings will not be harsh, but they will be frequent and  prolonged with lots and lots of sting!  I've purchased a couple of new paddles that are known for their sting.

Barry is at Home Depot right now, purchasing supplies for a major project he plans to start tomorrow.  However, when he comes home, he will see Carol's car in the garage in place of mine.  That should make him wonder.  It will eventually all make sense to him.

I drove my car to Carol's home shortly after Barry left for Home Depot and we returned in her car.  That has given us time to discuss our final plans.  Here is a summary of the role play we will enact to implement his request for a "9 to 5" type of scenario in which he is imprisoned and controlled by multiple women from his work.  We ended up deciding to make it a continuation of the "Corporate" Discipline role play we recently enacted.  It provides roles that we are each comfortable with, which we felt would be important.  She and I have had a lot of fun planning this together.  We also think we have come up with a very special birthday present for Barry.  It will be VERY realistic.  It will challenge him in some ways.  But, most importantly, we think he will really enjoy it.  That is our goal.  And, for those of you who keep recommending it, I have loosened up a bit about my control of Carol.  Her actions during the last scenario with Barry helped a lot to give me confidence to relax them.

So ... here is the Scenario:
Barry is a management employee and he has historically used his authority and power to force his female employees to submit to spanking and sex in order to keep their jobs.  I am his current assistant who turned the tables on him when he tried to spank me.  I gained control over him.  Carol is his former assistant who resigned rather than deal with his inappropriate behavior and management technique.  I brought her back into the picture in our last role play to help me deal with Barry's behavior.  I have also met Barry's wife and she knows what is going on.  She keeps him in a chastity device, but has given me an extra key to it.

As this role play begins, it is late Friday afternoon.  Carol and I will confront Barry in his office with our recently learned knowledge that since our last correctional meeting, he has attempted to force a female intern to submit to spanking and sex, which caused her to leave.  I will also share with him that I planted a video camera in his office, so I have videos of what he has done when he is alone there.  Finally, I will share with him that I had the opportunity to view his PC when he left the office unexpectedly one day last week.  What I found was shocking to me.  His collection of spanking and female submission porn was extensive.  I will let him know that I copied his porn files to a flash drive which I am very willing to share with upper management.  (Carol and I also plan to use these files during the role play)

So, when Barry arrives about a half hour from now, he will find Carol and I relaxing over a cup of tea.  I will greet him with "Happy Birthday" and suggest that he retire to the bedroom, put on appropriate office clothing, and go to his home office.  I will explain that it is late Friday afternoon and that Carol and I will join him in his office when we are ready to begin.  I will confirm with him that he wants this to be a realistic role play and not just a little fantasy fun.  The last thing I will share with him is that the scenario we are using is a continuation of our last role play.  That is all Barry will know about what will happen shortly

I think we will all enjoy what transpires, hopefully especially Barry.  I have slowly come to realize and understand how deep a submissive streak he has within him.


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Barry's Physical

Barry's annual physical was today.  And, all went well with respect to his health!!  Hooray!

Everything also went well with respect to the men's silk briefs we purchased for him to wear.  They were very "panty-like", but also clearly had a pouch for his manhood, which made him more comfortable.

Our doctor was also clearly wonderful.  She openly expressed how pleased she was that we came together and we talked about how important that was.  I was thrilled when she went through his lab results.  His total cholesterol is 125!  And the ratios are all good.  His diet and medications are working well after his heart attack.  His blood pressure is also very low.

When it came time for Barry to strip down, she very nicely acknowledged the fact that Barry was shaved.  She asked him if there had been any health issue, such as a rash, that caused him to shave.  I was very impressed that Barry had the comfort level to respond "No, I do it because it pleases my wife".  She quickly came back with "That is wonderful".  That exchange made both of us feel very comfortable and allowed me to open up more during the visit.  I was also not surprised by her sensitivity and caring approach, because I have had two previous visits with her.  I thought Barry would like her very much, and that exchange sealed the deal for him.

When she examined his penis and testicles, she asked him if he periodically examines them for abnormalities that could indicate cancer.  He replied that he doesn't and didn't know that he should.  Feeling comfortable, I piped up with "That's interesting, because I have always been advised to do self breast exams.  To my surprise, Barry chimed in with "Yes, and I've been helping her examine them for forty years".  That caused us all to chuckle and for me to say "Perhaps I can now begin to learn how to help Barry examine his testicles".  She agreed and gave us a very nice lesson with respect to how to roll each testicle between our thumb and forefinger, and what to look for.  The good news was also that everything seemed fine.

She then had Barry bend over the exam table so she could examine his prostate.  His PSA test had come back fine, but she took the time to explain the limitations and concerns about that test to both of us.  She was very gentle with Barry and explained to him that he might feel some discomfort.  I was then amazed at how she dove in with her finger.  I couldn't resist asking her if this was another exam that I should consider doing for Barry.  She very nicely explained that it really isn't necessary to do it that often and it takes more judgement than what lay folks normally can provide, but she also very nicely complemented me about wanting to be proactively involved.  She made us all feel comfortable.  She is a gift.

Barry and I had a nice lunch at a local restaurant after the appointment.  It was a nice opportunity for us to discuss his impressions of his new doctor and how things went.  He really liked her and felt very comfortable talking with her, which made me feel really good.  We were also very pleased with his lab results.  I have to confess that it has been difficult for me to live with the unknown after Barry's heart attack.  It is one of those things that you realize can strike at any time.  It is hard.  But, Barry has been wonderful in his rehab efforts and religiously following the advice of his cardiologist.


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Thank You Everyone

I want to express my sincere appreciation to all of my readers who shared their thoughts and advice with respect to Barry's upcoming physical (which is next week).  When I composed that post, I never dreamed that it would generate such an outpouring of heartfelt comments from your experiences in life.  It made me realize that there is a reason why I blog.  Thank you each and everyone.

I was also struck by the fact that so many of you offered your comments from your own perspective (which is where it has to come from), but also acknowledged in one way or another that Barry and I have to do what makes sense for us.

Although I shared a thank you in the comments of that post, I also wanted to compose this individual posting so that I could help make sure that each of you see it.  I also wanted to share with you Barry's and my decision, since your comments helped reach it.

First, regarding whether I accompany Barry to the doctor.  That wasn't really a big issue.  Barry and I have talked about it a lot in the past, especially during and since each of our major health issues last year.  We each want to be present with the other for all of the positive reasons offered.  The reason I mentioned it was because Barry was grumbling a bit about it at the time.  Looking back on it, I think that grumbling was caused by his concern about wearing panties. It was just another layer he could add to his complaint. When we finally sat down on Sunday night to really talk about both issues, he was very clear that we should both be there.

Wearing panties to his physical was definitely more of a concern to him.  I have come to understand and appreciate that.  Some of your comments raised the issue that if Barry is not comfortable in front of his doctor, he might not share things that are going on.  There is also the issue that this is the first time Barry will be seeing a female doctor, which adds another level.  So, when it came time to talk about this, I had a very different outlook.  I want Barry to get the best medical care he can, so I want him to feel comfortable with his physician.  That means no panties.  This process has also helped me understand that when I made the rule about only wearing panties, Barry and I were in a different place than we are now.  I was still dealing with his masturbation issues and was trying to gain control of some things.  We are well past that now.  The use of panties and Barry's chastity device have become symbols of his devotion (and submission, in some ways).  However, they are not critical in our relationship.  That made it easy for me to understand that I needed to relax the rule.

Barry actually likes wearing panties.  So, when we sat down to talk about what to do, he actually liked my idea of wearing men's silk or satin briefs that look and feel much like panties, but are a bit more "manly".  He would feel very comfortable wearing them, because they are designed for men, but also offer some of the things he likes about panties.

So, in the end, our decision was easy.

Thank you all, once again.  You are wonderful.