Sunday, January 25, 2015

Role Playing Suggestions Requested

Barry has always been fascinated with role playing.  When I first learned of Barry's need to be spanked several years ago, he confessed to me that for a number of years he had visited several dominas, as well as escorts who specialized in kinky sex when he traveled to different cities for work.  For each visit, he would compose a role playing scenario that he wanted to act out with the woman he was seeing.  They always involved Barry being spanked and sometimes pegged.  Sometimes they involved him spanking the escort before she found a way to 'turn the tables' on him.

I recently began to think about the discussions I had with Barry about his love for role playing.  I'm curious about using role play in our relationship at this time.  We've done a little bit with it, but not much.  I'm also intrigued with the idea of me creating the role play and causing Barry to have to respond to and deal with what I do, rather than him being so controlling of it (as he apparently was in his sessions years ago).

So ... here is my idea.  I would like my readers to email me ( your ideas concerning role play scenarios that would be appropriate for Barry and me.  I want them emailed to me so that Barry will not see them.  He will see this post and know that I am getting ideas. When I receive your suggestions, I will share the roles that we each will play with Barry, as well as a general concept of the role play.  But I will not share specifics of what you propose we do.  If we enact your role play, the specifics need to remain a surprise to Barry.

I will only share role play scenarios with which I am comfortable with Barry.  If he likes the general ideas that I share with him, we will enact it.  I will provide a posting of each role play we enact, and credit the contributor.  I will also include the specifics of your suggested role play in my posting if you give me permission to do so.

So ... if you like this idea, please send me your suggestions.  Please be specific about the role each of us should play.  Please also share as many specifics about what we should do as you want.  I will reserve the right to add or subtract from the specifics if we enact your role play.

I think this could be fun for Barry and me.  It will also provide a new source of creativity for me to address Barry's submissive needs, as well as my own.


Friday, January 23, 2015

Barry's Turn on the Barrel (Liberator Ramp)

Last night was Barry's turn to be completely exposed and vulnerable on our Liberator Ramp.  As we finished dinner, I advised Barry that I would take care of the dishes and suggested that he go take a shower and fully prepare himself for a visit to our love nest.  That comment brought a smile to his face, since "fully prepare" is our personal phrase to use a fleet enema and prepare for anal activity.  I also suggested that he wear his nice little teddy with stockings, but no panties, and told him to join me in the bedroom when he is ready.

I was done the dishes well before Barry appeared in the bedroom, which gave me ample to time to prepare a few things.  I positioned our ramp in the middle of our king bed and made sure the under bed restraint system was in place.  I then brought out some of the toys I planned to use and placed them on my dresser.

As Barry entered the room, I greeted him with a kiss and our blindfold, which I quickly placed over his eyes.  However, I'm sure he saw the ramp on the bed and the toys on the dresser.  After placing a clean towel over the high end of the ramp to protect its cover, I led Barry to the bed and helped him drape himself over the high end with his bottom projecting upward.  I then made sure his penis was pulled back between his legs and then utilized the under bed restraints to pull his legs out wide to the side and secure them.  His hands were also secured out in front of him.  He was now in the position he had put me earlier this week with his bottom, penis, balls, and inner thighs fully exposed and vulnerable.

As I secured him, I realized that his bottom was not as clean shaven as normal.  I pointed that out to Barry and told him that we would begin by shaving it smooth.  I also let him know there would be a price to pay for me having to do it.  I took my time preparing him with hot water and shaving cream; and then shaving his bottom, anus, and testicles.  When I was done, I left his bottom wet and began slowly spanking him with my hand.  I fully enjoy spanking his clean shaven bottom, especially since it usually seems more sensitive to him.  Of course, I also took time to tease his penis and testicles to keep him aroused.

After bringing his bottom to a nice pink color, I decided to turn my full attention to teasing his genitals.  Earlier this week I had changed the heads to our Sonicare toothbrush and decided to keep Barry's old head to experiment using the toothbrush on the head of his penis.  He couldn't see what I was doing, so he was quite surprised when he heard the brush and felt the affect on his glans.  It was quite effective.  I also found it had a lovely impact on him when I teased the area between his scrotum and anus with it, as well as his anus.  That really got his attention.  This will definitely be a keeper new toy to use again.

I then turned my attention back to spanking, this time with a variety of OTK tools.  I started out kneeling behind him, so I could spank with one hand and tease with the other.  I eventually also straddled the small of his back.  Either way, I had wonderful access to his entire bottom and inner thighs for spanking and to his genitals for teasing.  The end result, after a prolonged spanking was a uniformly crimson bottom (including his crack) and inner thighs.  The greatest part about it was the fact that I was able to keep him fully aroused the entire time.  Barry loves a firm spanking and he definitely got one last night.  It was clear that he would continue to feel the soreness from this one tomorrow,which I know he enjoys.

Barry's penis was still very aroused and it was clear from his motions that he wanted some relief.  I toyed with him about that for a while.  I eventually told him that I would provide a climax for him, but that there was still the matter of me having to shave him to deal with.  I explained that I planned to use his new spanking strap on his red bottom as payment for doing the shaving.  If he wanted an orgasm it would have to be prior to receiving the strap.  I was a little surprised that Barry quickly agreed to those terms.

Toying with him a bit more, I eventually provided his orgasm by milking him with my hand from behind.  When I was done, I then brought out the spanking strap.  I had to be careful with it, given Barry's exposed position.  I didn't want to hit his genitals.  So, I applied it entirely on the center of his upturned bottom.  Twenty sound strokes clearly made my point.  I then shared with him that I forgot to mention another condition for his orgasm.  I then inserted a butt plug in his bottom and told him that it will remain inserted until morning.

As I released him from the restraints, I suggested that it would be very appropriate for him to find a way to express his appreciation to me for the wonder orgasm he experienced.  He wholeheartedly agreed.  And he actually asked me if I would like to be pleased orally or with our new Ride-On Colossus penis extender.  I chose both.

It was a magical evening for both of us.  I loved having Barry in such an exposed and vulnerable position.  I also loved being able to spank and tease him at the same time, and to actually spank his penis a bit.  As long as I did it within reason, he remained aroused.

This morning, during breakfast, as we talked about last night, it was clear that we each enjoyed the same aspects of his exposure and vulnerability.  So, I gave Barry an assignment:  He is to come up with as many examples as possible of positions that will allow me to spank and tease his genitals at the same time.  I told him that he has free access to the Internet to do that, as long as I am in the house with him and know that he is working on it.  He seemed to like that idea.  We'll see where it leads.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Acquired Tastes: Being Submissive

It seems like ages since our Christmas get-a-way.  The flu was a huge part of that.  We were each sick at the same time and it was not fun.  We finally were able to recover and begin to resume a normal life.  And, last night we resumed "activities".  From what happened, I realize it is now time for me to share another "Acquired Taste".  Based upon our Christmas Eve activities, I knew it was only a matter of time, but I wasn't ready to share based upon one experience.

Last evening, after dinner, I shared with Barry that I was ready to take a hot shower and relax.  He encouraged me to do so and said that he would take care of cleaning up from our dinner.  Shortly after I entered the shower, Barry appeared in the bathroom and asked if he could join me in the shower.  That was exactly what I had hoped for.  But, I never expected the evening to develop as it did.

Barry entered our shower stall with me, with the blindfold I had given him at Christmas.  He quickly put it do use, with no resistance from me. He then whispered into my ear that he hoped I could relax and let things flow.  I have to confess that I felt readiness to do that.

I quickly found myself having my hands secured in the wrist cuffs that are secured to the shower walls with suction cups.  These are toys that I normally use for Barry when I shave him or tease him in the shower.  He had me secured facing the shower wall.  I was a bit nervous, but he quickly shared with me that I can "Say No" at any time and he will honor my request.  He proceeded to use the handheld shower to cleanse and tease me.  By rubbing against me, he also made it obvious that he was extremely aroused.

He eventually left the shower and returned.  At that point, he started to insert a Fleet enema in my bottom.  I started to protest.  He again reminded me to relax and said that I can always "Say No" later.  I did relax. After Christmas eve, I trusted him fully.  We eventually left the shower and he helped me to the toilet.  Enough said.  He then let me to the bedroom, still blindfolded.

In the bedroom, I ended up being positioned over the Liberator ramp which was placed at the bottom of our bed.  My hips were raised and my legs were spread and secured.  My hands were also secured in front of me.  It was only later, as I felt Barry's tongue down below, did I realize how completely vulnerable I was.

During all of this, Barry was so gentle that I never felt concerned.  I never thought of saying "No" or "Stop".   The details are not important at this time.  What is important is that I felt safe and comfortable.  I felt Barry's tongue in places I never expected.  I also felt him spanking me in a kind and gentle way.  It was exquisite.  The spanking was all over my bottom and thighs ... and sometimes on my privates.  But it was always in a way that aroused me.

I eventually felt something being inserted in my bottom.  I started to say "No".  However, it was so gentle that I didn't.  At first I thought it was Barry, but then it began to vibrate.  After that, I'm not sure what happened, but it was clear when Barry entered my vagina with his penis.  He slowly worked himself in and out, clearing hitting my magic spot.  As he proceeded, we each eventually achieved a climax, the order of which, I'm not really sure.  It didn't matter at that point.

Barry has clearly tuned in to my submissive side.  I didn't even know I have this need or desire.  Some may wonder how this fits into our 'Devotional Sex' side.  All I can offer at this time is that I knew I was in control and could say "no" at any time.  I didn't want to do so.

This does not mean I want to give up my dominate side.  I clearly don't want to do so.  And, Barry's submissive nature is still very apparent.  However, it is clear that we will continue to work on meeting each of our needs.  We each seem to enjoy being dominant and submissive.

Who would have thought this possible ...


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Spanking the Flu

Oh, how I wish that could easily be done (Spank the Flu).  Barry and I are each finally recovering from extended bouts with that nasty little devil this month.  And, we each had our flu shots ... early this year!    It is safe to say that nothing of interest has taken place in our lives since my last post.

Hopefully, the rest of you are avoiding this illness.  Keep washing your hands.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Where Do We Go From Here

Barry and I are still glowing in the after thoughts of our special time away.  I think it is fair to say that it was as much and more than each of us had expected.  There many special moments and a number of surprises for each of us.  We've had numerous conversations, starting with during our four hour drive home.  We began with questions like "What was your favorite gift received?" and "What did you like best?" and "What surprised you the most?".  Since then, we have progressed to things like "What do you want to make sure we keep doing?" and "What do you not want to do again?".  We are now at the stage of "Where do we go from here?".

It quickly became clear to each of us that we each pushed the envelope a bit with our gifts to each other, and we each loved what the other did.  There was really nothing done by either of us that was not appreciated by the other.  It also quickly became clear to each of us that we are ready to move forward and create more exciting times with each other. So, we began to attempt to prioritize a bit about where to start.   We don't want to overthink or overplan, but we need someplace to start that is meaningful to each of us.  So, we began to talk about "What the two most meaningful things that happened during our time together?".

Barry's two answers were:

  • Christmas Eve when I became completely submissive to him; and
  • Getting spanked again, especially in a non-disciplinary way (spanking has really fallen by the wayside during the past several months).
My two answers were:

  • Realizing how much I love to play with Barry's penis and testicles; and
  • Realizing that I loved what he did to me when I became submissive (that was a huge surprise to both of us).
So, the first things we're going to work on is bringing back spanking for non-disciplinary manner and finding more time for me to explore my love of his genitals.  We need to talk a little more about my submissiveness and how to incorporate it within our Devotional Sex lifestyle.  That shouldn't be too hard.  I've begun to think in terms of "As the Princess, I make decisions about what will happen next ... and that decision could be to give the reigns to Barry once in a while.".    The more I think about it, the more comfortable I get, especially, since Barry established a huge level of confidence for me that he will do the right thing.

So, spanking and genitals!  Why was I not surprised when Barry asked me to watch this Fm Spanking Video yesterday.  I apologize for it being a bit lengthy.  However, if you watch it, I think it will become clear why Barry recommended it.

To make a long story short, last night I gave Barry a spanking similar to what is depicted in the video and we are now also exploring other positions in which I can spank him that gives me lots of view and access to his genitals.  We each loved what happened.

It is quickly  becoming clear to each of us that we are ready to grow more and that we have many common interests.  A few years ago, I would have never imagined that this is where our journey would lead us.  I'm still a bit shocked in many ways.  "What would my mother say?" :-)


PS - Thanks to Barry's encouragement and his tech ability, I have returned to trying to include photographs (and today, a video) in my posts.  He provided that input early in my blog, but got a bit tired of doing it for me.  He suggested that I go back to including things of interest.  And, this time he is working to teach me how to do.  However, the past few posts were mostly all of his work.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Christmas Retreat - Part 3

Finally, the last post in this series.  I must apologize for taking so long to share our Christmas escape weekend.  It took me some time to digest and decide what to share.  And then, our children were coming for a New Year's celebration, since they couldn't be with us for Christmas.  So, I will now pick up where we left off:  at lunchtime on Christmas Day.  There were still some surprises in store for each of us.

During a light lunch we talked about what we would like to do the rest of the day.  I advised Barry, that I would really like to spend some time at the pool, jacuzzi, and sauna with him.  I reminded him that he probably needed some time to relax and recover :-).  He quickly shared that he had forgotten to pack a bathing suit.  He was not pleased when I shared that I had packed the speedo bathing suit that I had recently given him.  I also need to share with our readers that since Barry had lost weight again (he looks amazing), I love his small compact bottom.  And, it looks wonderful in a speedo bathing suit.  However, Barry is very self-conscious in it, since it shows everything in front.  He gets very self-conscious when he experiences 'shrinkage' when swimming.  The look on his face when I told him I had packed it made me very glad that I had purchased his next 'gift'.  I didn't say anything at the time, but waited until we got back to the room to change.

Back at the room, I shared my final gift with Barry: a soft packing dildo that is amazingly realistic.  I hoped that it would make him feel more comfortable wearing the speedo swimsuit.  I also liked the fact that it would make him always look about the size that I think of him.  When he put the speedo swimsuit on with the packer, he looked amazing.  I loved his tight little bum, and he loved the look from the front. We were each very pleased.  So, we went down to the pool and sauna.  We thoroughly enjoyed the time to relax with each other.  I must confess that I couldn't resist patting his sexy tight bum a couple of times.  And, I caught him grasping his crouch as well.  I was also aware of one woman in the pool area that couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of Barry's frontal area.

Needless to say, we each had a wonderful time relaxing together in the pool area, and also enjoying the jacuzzi and sauna.  When we returned to our suite, I had on last surprise for Barry.  When I learned about his submissive fantasies and activities prior to him sharing them with me, I learned about Barry's visits to dominant females who would role play with him.  His favorite roleplay was to have his female boss confront him with knowing he was spending too much time on the computer viewing porn sites.  When we returned to our room, while Barry was showering, I changed into formal office dress and greeted him when he came out of the bathroom.  He was caught completely by surprise and we had a bit of fun before we went to dinner.

When we returned to our suite for dinner, I was ready to be pleased by Barry.  He was also ready to please me. He was very grateful for all I had done.  However, we ran into a problem.  He was spent.

 He began by pleasing me orally.  However, when we proceeded further, there were problems.  He then presented his final gift to me, the Ride-on Colussus".  We have the original ride-on, but this is a tad bid longer and thicker.  Barry shared with me that he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to keep up with my needs, so this was his final gift.  He also tearfully shared his gratefulness for our wonderful time together and that his final gift also included a promise to try to please me in every way he could.

After considerable thought, I have decided to merely share that Barry more than fulfilled his promise.  The rest of our Christmas evening was ... unbelievable.  I'm not ready to share any more details than that.

I feel very blessed with what Barry and I have in our relationship.  I'm sometimes saddened that it took us so long for me to realize what he needed.  However, I'm extremely glad that we eventually came to a point where he could share his desires with me.  I'm also extremely glad that I was open to trying to understand those needs and try to meet them.    We will probably never completely meet each other's needs, but at this moment we are each trying.  What a gift to each other.

Happy New Year to everyone,


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Christmas Retreat - Part 2

When we awoke Christmas morning we decided to order breakfast to be brought to the room.  That decision was prompted by my desire start our playtime sooner, rather than later.  As soon as Barry called in our order, I reminded him that he belonged to me that day and that his first order of business was to take a shower and properly prepare himself for any activity I may desire (which he knew meant to properly prepare for anal).

While Barry was in the bathroom, I prepared my first gift of the day for Barry ... an under the bed restraint system.  We had been using some of Barry's old neckties at home, but I didn't know if our bed at the hotel would have a headboard and a footboard that we could tie them to. By the time he appeared, I had removed all of the bedding except for the bottom sheet and succussfully installed the system on our king bed.  I then tied a red bow to one of the cuffs with a note telling Barry that this is where he will spend the next several hours.  I also laid out a number of toys on the dresser in the bedroom, including the blindfold that I had given Barry to use on me, our Whartenburg wheel, a feather, my strap-on, and Barry's next two presents that were still wrapped.  When Barry came into the bedroom, I could see him taking it all in and his excitement was apparent.

About that time, our breakfast arrived, so I asked Barry to take care of receiving it while I got dressed.  I put on this little outfit which I had purchased especially for this event.  I knew that Barry would love it and that I would feel quite dominant in it.  Before appearing in the living room of our suite, I put the hotel bath robe on, so that I could surprise Barry with it after we ate breakfast.

I knew that Barry was excited, so I purposely made sure we took our time over breakfast.  It was a delicious meal and I wanted to make sure we savored it.  I also wanted to increase Barry's anticipation of what was to come.  That was easy to do.  Of course, I also let my bath robe partially reveal the outfit a couple of times, which only added to his anticipation.

Once breakfast was done, I took Barry's robe off of him and he was ready for action.  After leading him into the bedroom, I secured him to the bed, spread-eagled with the Liberator wedge under his bottom to slightly elevate it and provide easy access to his bottom.  Once he was secure, I removed my bath robe and started the fun.  After letting him enjoy the view, I straddled his head and directed him to make sure I was excited as he was.  It didn't take him long to achieve that goal.  I then let him know that he was in for a long session of teasing.  After blindfolding and toying with him for a half hour I asked him if he would like me to unwrap his next gift.

After removing the blindfold I opened a package containing a penis pump.  The gleam in his eyes was amazing.  I then took my time opening the package and reading the instructions to make sure I knew how to use it.  When I finally put it over his penis and began drawing out the air, he was as excited as I have ever seen him.  I could tell that he loved watching his penis expand to fill the cylinder.  However, I don't think he expected what I did next.  I installed the nipple suction devices that he had given me on his nipples and then told him I was going to go have a cup of coffee in the living room.  I left him as he was for about thirty minutes.  When I returned and began removing the nipple devices and the penis pump, his reaction was extremely enjoyable to watch.

I then decided to get on top of him cow-girl style and further torment him.  I should probably also share that at the beginning of our little session that day, I instructed Barry that he was not allowed to climax without my permission and that if he did, he would not like the consequences.  I proceeded to tease and deny Barry for the next two hours, using a variety of our toys.  I sometimes blindfolded him and sometimes let him see me and what I was doing.

I eventually asked him if he would like me to unwrap his next gift.  Of course he said yes.  And I opened a box containing the spanking strop shown here.  Barry has recently had a fascination with the idea of being strapped.  All of our spanking toys so far have been paddles, hairbrushes, rulers, etc ... all hard.  He has never experienced the strap.  On Christmas he did.  I removed his wrist and ankle bindings and put the Liberator ramp in the center of the bed.  I then resecured Barry with the bindings while he was bent over the ramp.  It put his bottom in a perfect position for strapping.  While I didn't administer a punishment type of spanking, I definitely let Barry know what this strap could do.  I took my time as I learned how to use it.  I quickly realized that I need to avoid any wrapping of the strap around his hips. It also didn't take long to learn that if applied to the backs of his thighs, it was deadly.  It is going to be a very flexible toy:  one that I can use for fun or one that can provide real discipline.

By this time, I wanted to give Barry a very nice reward ... an orgasm.  Again, removing his restraints, I positioned him on his back on the Liberator with his hips and bottom presented upwards and accessible.  I then resecured him.  He was now in a wonderful position for taking my strap-on and I would also have ready access to his penis.  I don't think I want to share any more details at this point, other than we both enjoyed ourselves.

By this time it was a little after noon-time.  It was time for lunch and a break.  And, the day was still young.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Christmas Retreat - Part 1

By the time Wednesday morning arrived, Barry and I were each like two young children who could hardly wait for Christmas to arrive.  In the back of my mind, I was also hoping that we each hadn't created expectations so high that we were doomed to be disappointed.  That definitely did not end up being the case.  We left early in the morning and stopped and had breakfast on the way, and arrived at the resort shortly after noon.  Our room was not yet ready.  However, by the time we had lunch we were able to check in.

Once we unloaded the car and unpacked our suitcases we decided to begin the festivities by showering together, with the promise that this would merely be an appetizer with no intercourse or climaxes.  After we dried off and put on some fun lingerie (Barry included), Barry said that he wanted to present one of his gifts first. It was a Liberator ramp and wedge.  The fun immediately began as we attempted the various positions provided in photos that came along with it.

We were quite giddy and enjoyed the impossibility of some of them, as well as the comfort of others.  It quickly became apparent that this was going to be a wonderful addition to our bedroom.  After much play and experimentation, as well as an orgasm by each of us, we decided we needed to slow things down a bit.  We took some time to explore the resort facilities.  We concluded that activity with a visit to one of the cocktail lounges where we enjoyed a glass of wine and decided to utilize room service for our dinner that night.  We had never done that and decided it would be a very nice, decadent treat for Christmas eve.

As we finished dinner, I presented my first gift to Barry.  The box contained a satin blindfold, a pair of fur lined wrist cuffs, and a thin leather paddle with fur on one side of it, plus the following note:

   These items symbolize my complete submission to you tonight.
   I am yours for the entire evening, so put them to use.
  Take me and use me in any way you desire.
  All I ask is that you be patient, tender, and loving in all you do.

                                          Merry Christmas darling,

     PS - Tomorrow you will be mine :-)

A huge smile immediately appeared on Barry's face and his first statement was "We are both going to have a special evening!  Thank you."

I've been talking with Barry and debating with myself for two days about how much of this evening to share.  I've come to the decision that I want to keep most of it private,  It truly was a very special evening for both of us.
It began by Barry presenting me with another gift.  A set of three nipple suction devices.  All three of them were put to use, but I'll let you use your imagination as to why there were three and where the third one was used.  He also made good use of the three items included in my present to him, as well as a number of other toys from the collection we brought with us from home.

I must confess that I was apprehensive about the blindfold and handcuffs that I gave Barry.  I have never been in that sort of predicament, but I found that I loved it.  Not being able to know exactly what was going to happen turned out to be a huge turnon and the handcuffs very gently gave me a feeling of helplessness, even though I was not helpless at any time.  I also loved the leather/furry paddle, which Barry expertly applied in a very erotic way.

Barry made sure that my sexual needs were met, as well as his own.  He is also pushed my limits in several areas, but was gentle in all that we did.  I must confess that he had me do several things that I would have never agreed to do if I hadn't given Barry carte blanche approval in advance.  However, I don't regret one moment of the evening.

We were up playing until midnight and each slept extremely soundly until 8 the next morning.

Christmas was another special day.  I will share some of that in my next post.


Monday, December 22, 2014

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it!  This will be my last post until Barry and I return from our little retreat.  Less than two days until we depart and we are each still very excited.

Barry has been caged since early last week and I have done my best to keep both of us on edge.  The various gifts for him that I ordered on line have been arriving.  I have purposely left the unopened packages out where Barry can see them.  Most are in non-descript packaging, so he doesn't know where they were purchased, but he knows some special things are arriving.  I've been taking his cage off every couple of days and we have showered together.  Lots of teasing and fondling on both of our parts, but no orgasms for either of us.

We have a four plus hour drive on Wednesday, so we may leave early and have breakfast on the way.  We are hoping to be able to get into our suite in early afternoon, but there is no guarantee.  I almost feel like a bride preparing for her honeymoon :-).

Be safe and healthy over the holidays.  I look forward to sharing when I return.


Friday, December 19, 2014

Acquired Tastes: Felatio and Handwork

Barry would probably like me to have called this "Acquired Tastes:  Blow Jobs and Hand Jobs".  However, I must confess that I absolutely hate those two terms.  They sound vulgar and crude to me.  And, they don't begin to convey my feelings when I use my mouth or my hands to provide Barry with pleasure.  Enough said about these two male terms!

My reason for choosing this topic is that this is another area where I have experienced a complete reversal with respect to how I feel about sexual activity. Prior to three years ago, I had used my mouth once on Barry's penis and it was an awful experience.  I also avoided even touching his penis when we made love.  I hated its wet sticky feeling when he oozed fluid while excited.  Needless to say, I also hated (and still don't really enjoy) the mess he makes when he climaxes.

OK, I got those feelings out of the way.  What I really want to share is the transformation I have experienced and how much I enjoy finding ways to please Barry sexually, especially since he has made such an effort to learn to please me.  I now fully enjoy using my mouth (in a limited way) and my hands to tease and excite him.  This change has come about due to a several things, which I will try to explain in this post.

One of the things that helped the most for me to make this transition was our decision for Barry to shave his private area.  With the hair gone, I found Barry's penis and testicles quite interesting.  It made me want to learn more about them.  When I think about it, it probably also had a lot to do with the fact that I couldn't deal with getting all the hair in my mouth if I tried to pleasure him that way.

The second thing that continues to assist me in this area is a woman known as Klixen.  When I first discovered Barry's collection of photos and video links, she was a prominent figure in his section concerning "blowjobs and handjobs" (Barry's name of his folder containing them).  Below are two links than help demonstrate why I consider her a mentor in this area:  -- This video shows how Klixen expertly and lovingly is able to slowly bring her partner to an orgasm.  I was amazed at how calmly and lovingly she achieves her goal and how calm her partner is as he climaxes.  I loved the way she stays focused on him and how peaceful the entire process is.  I've not been able to achieve what she does, but I continue to try to emulate her. -- This video is a compilation from numerous others.  However, I love the way it demonstrates both her oral and hand techniques, as well as her loving focus on her goal.  I confess that I can't deal with semen on my face the way she does.  However, Barry and I have an understanding about that.

Klixen's videos were able to show me that oral and manual stimulation doesn't have to be crude.  They each can be loving acts.

So, I have now been able to incorporate felatio and handwork into my repertoire of activities that please Barry.  I couldn't have imagined being able to do so three years ago.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Preparing for our Christmas Retreat

Barry and I each continue to be very excited about our special Christmas this year.  I've decided to maximize his anticipation as we make our final preparations, since our special time is now only a week away.  Last night during dinner I announced to Barry that he is not to orgasm until our retreat, and that to assure that happens I will lock him in his chastity device.  After some light amorous teasing and cuddling when we got into bed, I did just that.  He will remain in the device until we arrive at the resort, except when I remove it for some light sexual activity (no intercourse or orgasm).  This way he will be fully charged and ready for pleasure when we arrive.

This morning, I decided to increase the anticipation some more for him.  He was planning to go into town this morning to do our grocery shopping.  During breakfast we put together a list for him and I added some things that raised his eyebrows.  These included:

  • 6 Fleet enemas
  • KY Jelly (large tube)
  • Lidocaine cream
  • Condoms (snug fit)
This list definitely piqued his curiosity and raised his excitement level. I'm sure that he suspects that there will be anal activity.  However, he doesn't have any way of knowing whose anus will be involved.  And, I don't plan to tell him.  It could be his, mine, or both.

Now I just need to keep my creative juices flowing and find ways to increase the anticipation each day until next Wednesday.

This is so much fun!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Acquired Tastes: Anal and Doggy Style

Last night Barry and I had a discussion about my blog and the types of things I should post about.  He suggested that I do a series of posts about how things have changed in our sex life since we began this journey.  He also expressed is love and gratitude for how much I have changed and how open I am now to trying new things and finding ways to please him.

I liked his idea, because it makes a lot of sense.  However, I also shared with him that I have some hesitancy to write about these types of details with respect to myself.  It is much easier to write about Barry then to be so open and candid about my thoughts and actions in the bedroom.  However, I've decided to give it a try.  This is my first attempt to share more details about how I've changed in our relationship and sexual activities.

Until Barry and I began our sexual journey several years ago, I was very prudish about sex and not very open to experimentation or anything other than the basic missionary position.  I abhorred the doggy style position primarily because of the name.  It seemed to reduce sex to an animalistic act.  I allowed Barry to try anal with me on one occasion, but also deplored it, so he never pushed it again.

I still can't say that I would put either of those options high on my list of preferences.  However, I now am able to enjoy them enough to not consider them taboo and I am willing to indulge in them to please Barry.  Anal (whether it is Barry penetrating me or me pegging Barry) was the toughest for me to deal with.  However, by following several procedures I have been able to eliminate most of the negativism that kept me from being able to do it.  Following are the procedures we follow:

Prior Preparation:  Before we engage in any anal activity, the receiver always thoroughly cleans their rectal area and lower colon.  We use either a Fleet enema or a large enema bulb that we purchased at our pharmacy.  That reduces most of the mess that can come with anal intercourse and also eliminates the possibility of have stools become impacted from the penetration.

Lubrication:  The receiver is always thoroughly lubricated prior to penetration.  If it is Barry, he takes care of doing that for me.  If it is me on the receiving end, he also gently takes care of it.  We use either KY Jelly for Barry or a desensitizing product such as Anal Eeze for me.  These types of products contain some lidocaine which helps make the penetration more comfortable.

Condoms:  We always use a condom, either on Barry's penis, my strapon, or any anal toys.  This makes clean-up much easier and less messy.  It also helps make sure that there is no cross contamination if we move from anal to vaginal sex.

Partner Awareness:  We are each extremely careful to be fully aware of how the receiving partner is feeling during the penetration.  If there is any pain, we immediately adjust appropriately.

A few years ago, I would have never imagined that I would allow Barry to penetrate me in this way or that I would use a strap-on on him.  It is still not something that I would choose, but it has also become an important part of our lovemaking.


Sunday, December 14, 2014

Planning our Christmas Together

Barry and I are both anxiously anticipating our special time together over Christmas this year.  I would like to begin this post by thanking those of you who submitted your wonderful suggestions for my special gifts to each Barry.  I have decided upon some (and ordered them), and am still making some decisions about a few things.  I plan to order everything by tomorrow.  I must confess that I'm having difficulty picking between a few things.  There are so many fun items that I'd like to get for him.

One reader shared with me that when he and his wife go away for a weekend, he composes a story sharing how his imagination thinks the weekend should go.  He suggested that it might work for Barry and me.  I like the idea and have discussed it with Barry.  We are currently discussing whether we should each write such a story, or at least find some way to share our fantasies with each other.

We have made a couple of decisions.  We decided to set a maximum amount that we will each spend for our special gifts to each other.  We have also decided that we will spread out how we open them over the time we are at the resort.  We're currently thinking that some will be opened Christmas eve, some Christmas morning, and the remainder Christmas night.  As we discuss our plans, it has become very clear to me that Barry and I are each focused on finding new and fun ways to please the other and that will be the focus for each of us.  I suspect that our positive experience with Devotional Sex has helped bring each of us to this perspective.

We are each feeling like little kids ... and can't wait for Christmas to come.


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way - PLEASE Don't Text and Drive

Yesterday I learned a very hard lesson that I hope none of you have to learn. Please don't text and drive.

I was on our local interstate highway traveling in the middle lane.  I apparently drifted into the right lane.  Before I knew what had happened, my car and another one were careening off the road.  I have no idea what I hit, but my airbags deployed.  The other car also ended up off the road,  I thank God that I and the people in the other car were not injured. The other car contained a mother and her two young daughters.  It was an awful experience.

My car could not be driven since the airbag had deployed.  Fortunately, Barry was reachable by cellphone and he came to the scene and could take be home.  Once he realized I was OK, it was a very quiet ride home.  As we pulled into our garage he finally spoke:  "Were you texting?".  I had to admit that I was.  There was again silence as we walked into the house.  I couldn't take it and finally asked Barry to talk to me.  He was obviously very upset and was having trouble being able to express himself.  He finally managed to say something like "I don't know what to say.  I have asked and asked you not to text while you drive.  I almost feel like turning you over my knee and giving you a spanking that you will remember for the rest of you life. "  For some reason, I responded that maybe he should because I deserved to be punished.

Barry immediately took me by the arm and led me to our bedroom.  He led me to face the mirror on my dresser and told me to stand there and look myself in the eye and to think about what I had done.  He bluntly informed me that I could have killed myself as well as a mother and her two young daughters.  He then left the room.

When he returned he placed a dining room chair at the foot of our bed.  He then took me by the arm and led me to his side as he sat on the chair.  Before I knew it I was lying over his lap and my skirt was pulled up above my waist.  The first spank landed immediately and it was a hard one.  This was going to be very different from the erotic spankings that Barry occasionally gives me.  He proceeded to continuously spank me hard.  I just laid there and absorbed it.  After a while he told me to stand.  When I did so, he lowered my pantyhose and panties to my knees and began to lecture me as he took me back over his lap.  The lecturing continued as the spanking resumed, even harder than before.  Somewhere in the process he switched from using his hand to my wooden hairbrush that I keep on my dresser.  I hadn't even realized that he had picked it up before he took me over his lap.   I finally burst into tears and just sobbed as the spanking continued.  The sobbing was not from the pain (although it hurt like the devil).  It was purely emotional as it sunk into me how close I had come to ruining a number of peoples' lives.  I was like a wet dishrag when he finally stopped and helped me to my feet.  I collapsed and sat on his lap as he hugged and kissed me.

Afterwards we decided to go out to a local cafe for dinner.  Neither one of us had the energy to cook at home.  I sat very gingerly and I am still sore this morning.  When I got ready for bed I inspected my bottom.  It was still quite red, but not bruised.

One thing is certain, I will never text while I'm driving again.  The potential consequences are just too great.  I am thankful that yesterday's situation did not result in a disaster.  I'm not sure how I feel about the spanking I received.  Barry spanked in a loving and caring way, but it was definitely a discipline spanking.  I know I deserved it, and in some ways I'm glad that Barry gave it to me.  However, I guess I'm just not sure how I feel about him spanking me like that even though I realize that I gave my consent.


Sunday, December 7, 2014

More Thoughts on Devotional Sex

In a comment to Barry's recent post about Devotional Sex, Dave said "I don't understand why both your needs can't be met, why is it that she says its time to stop? Seems selfish to me, like she's trying to get revenge for when her needs weren't met....".  I was initially a little offended by Dave's implication that I am trying to gain revenge with Barry for when my needs weren't met.  As I've had time to think about the comment more, I realize that perhaps I haven't adequately explained how and why DS works for Barry and me.

With DS, Barry and I each now approach sex from a perspective of desiring to please our partner.  I actually now do many things for Barry's pleasure that I couldn't imagine doing two or three years ago.   Barry also provides pleasure to me in many new ways from several years ago.  However, Barry and I have also come to understand that pleasure doesn't always have to include an orgasm.  I don't experience one every time we make love, but that doesn't mean I haven't been pleasured and feel wonderful.  Barry feels the same way.  There are times when cuddling is all I want.  There are also times when Barry finds it very pleasurable to be teased and denied.  Barry and I have also found that his not always achieving an orgasm keeps him more aroused and attentive.  We each like that.  Several male readers also commented about their experience with respect to that outcome of DS.

I also realize that DS is not for everyone.  Our version of it works very nicely for Barry and me, which is the important thing to us.  I hope our sharing helps others find whatever way works best for them in their sexual relationship, whether or not it involves DS.


Thursday, December 4, 2014

A Different Christmas and a Request of my Readers

For the first time since we were married, Barry and I will be alone this Christmas.  When we first realized this would be the case, I was extremely disappointed and worried about what we would do.  Well, about a week ago Barry surprised me.  He told me that he had made reservations for a suite at a luxury resort hotel that I have been eyeing for several years.  He made reservations for Christmas eve and Christmas night, so we will have two nights and one full day at this special place.  He also suggested that we do something different with respect to gifts for each other this year.  He proposed that we offer gifts to each other of items that would provide sexual pleasure, e.g. sex toys!  At first I hesitated, but I quickly realized that it was a wonderful idea.  We would be alone in a special place and would have time and privacy to enjoy each other and our gifts.  So ... that is what we are going to do.

All of this leads me to my reason for sharing this with my readers.  I would like your suggestions for gifts I should consider for Barry.  To keep things a surprise, please don't make suggestions in comments to this post.  Instead, email them to me at

I promise to share with you what we each give each other, and provide an appropriate summary of our Christmas get away.


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

BARRY'S TURN: Views on Devotional Sex

It has taken me a while, but I'm now ready to weigh in with my perspective about Devotional Sex.  Susan has been asking me to do this for a long time ... to provide the male perspective.  However, it is not easy for me to share these types of thoughts.  But, for what it is worth, here they are ...

I initially found the Devotional Sex website and shared it with Susan.  I thought it was interesting and I was fascinated with the idea of Susan controlling my sexual urges and needs.  Much to my surprise, she expressed interest in the concept, so we began to play with her being in charge.  I have to admit that it is very different than I imagined.  It gave her an opportunity to make sure I knew what she liked and didn't like about our sex life.  It also provided her with the boldness to make sure I knew what she enjoyed; and didn't enjoy.  It became a real learning experience for me.  I quickly learned that I had not come close to meeting her sexual needs because I had been so focused on meeting my own.

So, that is where we started.  I decided to embrace the concept and I worked very hard to understand her needs; and to try to meet them.  That was probably the best decision I have every made.  My sense is that because I worked hard to sexually please her, she has worked equally hard to please me.  The outcome is that we now each are working hard to please each other, instead of just looking to be pleased.

However, let's also think about some of the practical aspects from my perspective.  There are times when Susan leaves me 'high and dry'.  I am completely frustrated.  I am completely horny, and she says "It's time to stop".  That was initially not fun at all!  However, I slowly came to the realization that my needs would eventually be met at a level much higher than I ever imagined during our previous years of marriage.  That has been a true gift to me from my wonderful wife.  And, I have learned to please her, which I know has been something she never dreamed I would be able to do.

So, here we are ... just having retired.  We have the most free time we have ever had.  And, we have learned to please each other.  Life couldn't be better.  Of course, I still get frustrated when Susan say "It's time to stop".  However, I have also learned that by focusing on her, she now also focuses on me.  And when she does, it is wonderful.  

Bottom Line:  Devotional Sex has taught us how to please each other and we both benefit.  I wouldn't change it for the world.


Sunday, November 30, 2014

Curiosities of the Male Genitalia

During an early blog posting (quite some time ago), I mentioned that Barry is a "grow"er and not a "show"er.  At the time, I received an email from a follower asking for more information because she didn't understand what I meant.  My response to her included the basic difference between the terms, which I will include below.  For some reason, those terms and that question recently popped into my mind and I thought it might be fun to talk about some of the curious aspects of the male genital organ.  I've recently become a bit intrigued by them, but I don't fully understand them.  So, perhaps some of my readers can shed some light.

Growers vs. Showers
I read these terms some place and realized that Barry is clearly a "grow"er.  His penis is quite small when flacid.  However, it increases significantly in size when he becomes aroused.  Other men apparently are quite large all the time (hence a "show"er).  It seems that when they become aroused, their penis becomes hard but does not increase a lot in size.

I don't understand why there is this difference.  I do know that it used to cause Barry some embarrassment about the size of his penis.  When we were first married, he didn't like me to see him when it was flacid.  Since penis size was never a big deal for me, it didn't bother me at all.  Barry was always able to please me sexually, which is what mattered.

Are my readers aware of this difference?  Do the men fall into one category or the other?  Are there any concerns about size by the "grow"ers?

Testicle Size and Scrotum Characteristics
This is another area that I have notices can vary at different times with respect to Barry.   When he comes out of a hot shower, his testicles seem much larger than normal and hang very low in his scrotum.  At other times, his testicles seem significantly smaller and are higher.  And, still at other times they seem to almost disappear.  Does anyone else notice these differences?

I will always remember the "shrinkage" episode of Seinfeld in which a friend of George's girlfriend walks into the bedroom where he is changing from his swimsuit.  George is very concerned that she saw a very small penis (due to "shrinkage" while swimming) and will tell his girlfriend.  Barry also experiences this.  Sometimes, his penis can be extremely small when flacid.  However, it always grows to his normal size when he is aroused.  

Is shrinkage a concern for my male readers?  How do your partner's feel?

Shooting distance and Volume of Fluid expelled
Does anyone else notice a difference in these two aspects of the male climax?  I have noticed that as Barry gets older, these two characteristics have decreased.  When we were younger, if I gave him a handjob, he would shoot at least six feet and it seemed like he always had a huge volume of seminal fluid.  These days, the distance is a matter of inches and the volume is much less.  I'm assuming this a a factor of age.

Do I dare mention the "unmentionable"?    After Barry's heart attack, ED became very apparent ... and we understand from the cardiology literature that it is quite typical.  His issues have greatly improved, which is not always the case.  I have tried to deal with it by creating different ways to get him excited, and it seems to work.  Do any of my readers have experience in this area?  If so, what have you done.

Needless to say, the male genitalia are a curious thing.  I'm glad that I have come to fully love and enjoy Barry's.


Monday, November 24, 2014

What is Devotional Sex - to Susan and Barry

In a recent comment, "lovetosubmit"asked the following question:

  • I've seen the devotional sex blog a bit. But could you go into a little more detail as to what your take on it is? Is it basically sex is for the wife's pleasure? Is it femdom? Seems like a bit of a mix.
I thought this might be a good topic for this post.

For Barry and me, Devotional Sex has been a new way of looking at sex and making love.  Before I learned of Barry's strong desires to be spanked and his submissive nature, we were stuck in a very old fashioned way of expressing our love for each other in a sexual way.  I felt compelled to allow Barry to have sex with me even if it didn't give me much pleasure.  And, Barry looked at sex with one goal.  He wanted to have an orgasm.  If he provided me with the ability to orgasm, that was a side benefit.   It was awful, especially for me.

Once I learned of what I initially thought were Barry's unusual kinky needs, and realized that I needed to embrace them, a new world opened up to us.  We began to communicate and be honest with each other about how we felt about sex.  When we discovered and talked about "Devotional Sex" it opened more new doors.  We realized that the goal should be to focus on pleasing each other.  To us, that was the "devotional" part.  

My sense is that the Devotional Sex concept of putting the female in charge of sex is a way of overcoming that old-fashioned perspective of sex is primarily for the male.  For Barry, it was a no-brainer because he loves to be submissive.  It was initially difficult for me to make the transition and take charge.  However, I have done so.  I now love being in charge and Barry loves me assuming that role.  I have also come to realize that keeping Barry very horny is a good thing.  We have also each learned that by desiring to please each other we each reap great benefits.

So, to try to find a way to sum things up, Devotional Sex for us is a tool that allowed us to realize the important thing is for us to focus on pleasing each other.  We are continually finding out how best to do that, which I will try to share in this blog.  For us, it is not femdom.  But I also have to admit that I am difinitely dominant, which is what Barry wants.  The reason I say it is not femdom is because I interpret that word to mean a 'bitchy, mean woman'.  That is not me.  But, I have learned to be in charge in a loving and caring way, because that is what Barry needs and wants.

I hope all of this makes sense to those who read it.  This is not an easy subject to explain.  I'll keep trying.


PS ... Thank you  "lovetosubmit" for your question.  I hope I have begun to answer it.

Friday, November 21, 2014

House Rules

During my sabbatical from blogging I received several emails from readers with questions about the rules that I require Barry to follow.  I apologize for not being responsive to those questions during that time and I thought I would try to address them in this post.

Barry and I have each agreed to a number of house rules that we feel make our relationship stronger and more enriching.  These include:
  • Devotional Sex is our primary guide for sex and making love.  Barry will be my Knight and I will be his Princess.
  • Whenever we disagree about something (which is OK), we each must be respectful of each other and their opinion.
  • No whining about anything.
  • Barry must keep his private area and bottom clean shaven at all times.  He is primarily responsible for shaving as needed.  However, I will frequently assist him.  (I love using shaving cream and a razor down there and enjoying the baby smooth results, especially when it comes to spanking a just shaven bottom.)
  • Barry where's women's panties at all times for underwear (given his pantie fetish, he actually enjoys this most of the time).
  • I will allow Barry to shave and groom my pubic hair as long as he leaves a normal looking triangle.
  • Barry is not allowed to masturbate without my specific permission and usually my presence.  This is one of the hardest rules for Barry to follow, so he frequently voluntarily wears a chastity device.  I do not require that, but he finds it helpful in achieving compliance.
  • Barry must limit his internet activity to only websites which I have approved unless I am present with him.  This is another tool to help him achieve compliance with the "no masturbation" rule.
  • In order to facilitate monitoring Barry's internet activity, he is not allowed to delete any browsing history from our computer.  If I find that the history has been altered, it is considered prima facie evidence that he violated the previous rule.
  • Since his serious medical condition occured, I attend all medical appointments with Barry.  I will write more specific information about this rule in a later posting.
  • Since we both retired, we have divided the housekeeping duties.  Barry's responsibilities include:  weekly vacuuming, weekly cleaning of the kitchen, daily breakfast dishes,  daily helping with dinner dishes, daily help with dinner preparations.
  • Violation of any of the rules by Barry is a spankable offense, the time and severity of the spanking to be determined by me.  Barry also agrees to accept a punishment spanking from me at at time for any other behavioral issue for which I feel he deserves to be spanked.
  • Violation of the 2nd and 3rd rules (respect and whining) by me are spankable offenses, the time and severity of the spanking to be determined by Barry (I have not yet violated these rules).
We will continue to fine tune these rules.  Spanking has always proven to be a very effective punishment for Barry, once I committed myself to administering a true punishment spanking when appropriate.  These type of punishment spankings aren't required nearly as often any more.  However, they occasionally become necessary.  Most of the spankings that Barry now receives are of the fun variety, which we each enjoy.

Best wishes to all for a Happy Thanksgiving and travel safely if you are on the road.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Making Devotional Sex Our Own

During my sabbatical from blogging as we each recovered and learned from our health situations, Barry and I had time to more fully explore Devotional Sex and found that we could make it our own.  I think it was good that I was not blogging, because I spent no time trying to write about it or wondering what others would think about what we were doing.  Instead, Barry and I just talked about what we were doing and how we felt about it.  We learned what was important to each of us and where the boundaries were.  It was wonderful.

The concept of Devotional Sex made a lot of sense to each of us because it led to a lot more sex.  Barry initially had some difficulty adapting to the fact that it meant less penetration and fewer orgasms.  However, he eventually realized that more sex was better, even if it was in different ways.  He has a very strong submissive nature, so the aspect of me controlling when and how we had sex was ok for him.  He also quickly realized that I was working hard to make sure I did things to please him.  That made him want to focus on ways to please me.  We could then just build from there.  I must admit that I had to learn to become comfortable with playing a more dominant role in controlling everything, but as I gained comfort, I found that I loved that role.

I think it also helped that we had moved from a very small New England community where we each had very public occupations and were constantly aware of what anyone learned about us.  We lived in a fishbowl and it was scary at times.  Since moving to a much larger urban area in the midwest and have also retired, we can now be much more anonymous.  It is now more comfortable and safe to do what feels right for us and not have to worry about what others might find out about us.

We have now developed a system of Devotional Sex that works very well for us.  It is not the pure form of DS that is shared in the website.  However, it is what works for us.  We utilize a bit more FLR than what DS would admit must occur.  Barry is probably also more submissive than what is portrayed.  And, we incorporate more kinky and fun sexual activity.  That is how I keep Barry on edge, frequently aroused, and focused on pleasing me.  And, I have grown to love that kinky edge to things.  Again, getting away from our fish bowl jobs and living situation in New England has freed me to be myself.

The best thing about Devotional Sex is that it allows us to be much more open and willing to focus on pleasing each other.  We are no longer looking for only our own pleasure.  Instead, we realize that by each trying to please each other, we will each be rewarded and pleased ... which makes us want sex much more frequently and it is more intense.

I apologize if I have rambled too much in this post.  It is hard to explain what we do and why we do it.  Hopefully as Barry and I try to share more specifics of what we do, things we become more clear.


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Where Have You Been Susan?

Whenever I reconnect with a life-long friend after a lengthy absence, she always greets me with "Where have you been Susan?".   And her question always carries a tone that is implicitly also asking me to provide an accounting of my life during the absence.  That is not always an easy thing to do.  However, since I've made the decision to return to blogging, I realize that perhaps my initial posts should at least attempt to address that question.

I also feel a need to apologize to my readers (if there are any of you left) for disappearing for so long without any explanation.  I did not intend for that to happen.  However, shortly after my last post, Barry developed a major health situation which was scary and life threatening.  He is fine now, but it was scary for a while.  Within three months of his situation, I also developed a major health issue.  I, too, am also fine now.  However, those two incidents were life changing for both of us.  It brought our mortality to the forefront and caused each of us to re-evaluate how we look at life and what is important to us.  We both realized how important life is to each of us; and how important we are to each other.  We have made a number of decisions to allow us to attempt to not only live longer, but to enjoy life and each other to its fullest.

One of the first decisions we made was for each of us to fully retire (at an earlier age than we ever anticipated).  We consider ourselves extremely lucky to have that as an option.  We also made the decision to make every possible effort to fully enjoy each other and the life we have together.

One of the first changes we made was to more fully embrace the basic concepts of "Devotional Sex" (See  We had experimented with some of its concepts before.  However, we had not fully embraced it.  While we have made some modifications to what the author of the above website specifies, we love the basic concept and it has brought our sexual intimacy to a new level.

Another decision I recently made was to return to blogging to share our ongoing experiences and journey.  I have come to the conclusion that it is important for me to do that.  Barry has also indicated that he will attempt to share more openly with his own posts, so it will become a joint effort by the two of us.  Our sexual journey has been an interesting one and life's recent events made us realize how lucky we are to be on that journey.

My/our first few blog entries will attempt to explain some of our activities and feelings regarding devotional sex.  We'll then see where the blog leads us as we move forward.

Its good to be back.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Getting My Attention

During my last post I alluded to Barry reverting to some previously dealt with unacceptable behavior in order to get my attention.  This behavior occurred last Friday night when we went out to dinner at a restaurant we hadn't tried since we moved to the mid-West.  Early in our spanking journey Barry had the habit of overtly staring at the breasts or (especially) bottoms of attractive waitresses.  A few very severe spankings seemed to correct his desire to do this.  Also, since we began practicing Devotional Sex, my sexual teasing of him before we go out and usually not wearing panties on these occasions kept his attention focused on me.

Consequently, since he was quite horny for me when we left for dinner that night, I was very surprised to see his focus of attention be directed so intensely on the bottom of the hostess in the restaurant.  When we were seated, he took the seat with the best view of the restaurant (he normally offers it to me).  He then proceeded to ogle the young woman every time she walked through the restaurant to seat parties.

I light heartedly reminded him with an expression I had previously used .... "If your eyes stray, your bottom will pay".  That didn't seem to phase him.  So, on the way out of the restaurant, as we walked by the hostess station, I commented to Barry in a voice loud enough for her to hear "Since you couldn't keep your eyes off the hostess' bottom tonight, when we get home your's is going to be spanked so hard that you won't enjoy sitting down tomorrow.

During the drive home we had a lengthy discussion about Barry's behavior and how surprised I was by it.  I slowly learned from him that he was just trying to get my attention and give me a reason to give him a good spanking.  He expressed his periodic need for a good sound spanking, but did admit that he preferred it not to be as hard as some of the worst ones I have previously given him.

Well, when we arrived home, I don't think I failed to disappoint him.  I spanked him not for staring at the hostess' bottom, but for not openly sharing his sexual needs with me.  The end result was a very red and sore bottom.  However, since it was administered relatively slowly, it did not result in tears or significant bruising.  And, afterwards, our devotional time was intense and resulted in Barry being allowed to climax.

In the future, I hope that neither one of us as to resort to such extreme measures to get the other's attention about our sexual needs.


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Allowing our Relationship Grow

It has been almost a month since I last posted, which has been intentional on my part.  After my last post I came to the realization that I was spending too much time thinking about and trying to move our relationship closer to a pure Devotional Sex lifestyle.  All of a sudden it dawned on me that it would be more beneficial to just allow our relationship to grow in whatever way made the most sense to both Barry and me.  It is not that DS wasn't working.  It was.  However, other aspects of our relationship (spanking, Barry's submissive needs, and exploring mutually agreed upon kink) also are a big part of who we have become as a couple.  I found myself trying to minimize the latter in pursuit of DS.  It all came together when Barry started reverting to some previously corrected bad behavior (overtly ogling other women in my presence).  When I realized that he was doing it solely to get me to spank him because he needs that in our relationship I woke up.

So, I decided to back off being so analytical and posting so much .... and just let our relationship take a natural course for a few weeks.  That has proven to be a good decision because it has allowed me to be more in tune with Barry's wishes and needs, as well as more effective in sharing mine with him.

After almost a month, I am finding us moving into a blended concept of DS with our other needs and desires.  I guess if you label a full fledged female dominant relationship as Fm (capital F to represent the fully dominant woman and lower case m to indicate the fully submissive male), and you label a DS relationship as fm (italicized f for the Princess who is special, but not dominant and lower case m for the equal, but devoted male), then I would label our relationship as fm (bold and italicized f for the special but somewhat dominant female and lower case m for the submissive male).  That is where Barry and I seem to be at this time.  We practice many aspects of Devotional Sex.  However, I also recognize and fulfill Barry's submissive nature by being appropriately dominant and/or controlling.  And, we each recognize our desires to explore and enjoy kinky activities that are mutually agreeable.

So, I anticipate that we will continue move forward in that regard.  I also plan to stop analyzing everything we do and to stop trying to label our relationship.  It is more important for us to just find what mutually works for each of us.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Changes in the Bedroom

In a comment he posted to my last post Michael from Devotional Sex asked:  What I would be interested to find out more about, if Susan is willing to share, is how Devotional Sex has changed the activities and feel of what happens when you are together. What new things are starting to become your new normal? etc

I think the biggest change in our bedroom is the fact that sexual activities are now about both of us and not just Barry.  Prior to our discovering the Devotional Sex concept, he was more dominant with respect to how we approached sex than I was.  It was almost always intercourse and he always experienced an orgasm, while I seldom did.  Now that I set the activity, tempo, and end result, our activities are much more varied and definitely more satisfying to me.  It has taken Barry some time to adapt, but I feel like he is now also enjoying it even when he doesn't have an orgasm.  Since Barry has quite a submissive side to his personality, he actually likes me being more in control.  Interestingly, we have added a greater variety of kink to our activities than we enjoyed before.  Previously, Barry directed the type of kink we tried.  Now, I play a role in it as well.  During the past two years I have discovered that I enjoy some aspects of kinky activity as much or more than Barry.

I continue to realize that we are not really experiencing the full DS concept.  However, I feel like we are taking the best of all worlds.  Given Barry's submissiveness, being my Knight and serving his Princess is a natural fit for him.  He now takes great pride AND pleasure in making sure I am sexually satisfied.  I also take pride and pleasure in being able to mix things up with him and have us each perform in a way that is very comfortable and satisfying to me.

With respect to the kink aspects of our play, I have come to heavily utilize the "Suggest" and "Choose" commands.  "Suggest" allows Barry to have some input, but not control; and it allows me to learn what really excites him.  That way, if I choose to do so, I can provide him with very meaningful pleasure.  "Choose" also allows me to create some excitement when I wish to do so.  For example, I know that there are a couple of things that Barry 'loves to hate':  i.e. post orgasm stimulation and consuming his own cum.  The thoughts of each arouse him.  However, once he has climaxed he hates them both.  So, if Barry suggests something that I know he loves, such as a receiving oral sex or taking me doggy style, I might then tell him that I agree to do it, but that he must choose between the post orgasm stimulation or cum consumption when we finish; or he can choose for us to not do what he suggested.

Another change is the role that spanking plays in our life.  It was originally primarily used as punishment for Barry, especially with respect to masturbation and disrespecting me.  At Michael's suggestion, I have used rewards as an effective way to deal with the masturbation addiction; and the disrespectful behavior has all but disappeared as Barry has assumed the role of my Knight.  Now, spanking is used as an erotic tool.  We spank each other in a way that keeps us aroused and stimulated and we each really enjoy being on the receiving or giving end.  Only occasionally has spanking been used as discipline in the past two months.  Since it was such an integral part of our sexual journey for the past two years I will attempt to share more about spanking in a separate post.


Sunday, September 8, 2013

Mixing Chastity Control and Devotional Sex

It's been an interesting two weeks since I last posted and a lot has happened with respect to how Barry and I work together with respect to Devotional Sex (DS). It is a concept that we each embrace and find to be helpful in our relationship.

My main efforts during the first of the past two weeks were to continue trying to find a way to remove the need for Barry to wear his chastity device.  I had already implemented the first step, which was to not have Barry wear his device when we were together and that worked well.  The next step was for Barry to gain confidence and to me gain trust in his not needing the device when he went to work or when I was not around at home. I approached that challenge using suggestions from Michael at I provided lots of incentive to Barry to be able to want to give up the device in order to continue enjoying things he loves.

We were making progress and Barry went to work several days without his device.  I was also absent while Barry was home alone a week ago without his device.  That was not a good experience for him.  He couldn't deal with it.  He even called my on my cell phone at one point while he was masturbating.

When I arrived home, we had a long conversation.  What really hit home to me was when he asked me "Why do you feel I shouldn't have my device to help me?"  That made me realize that I was trying to achieve what I think of  as "pure" DS ... which means no chastity device.  It hit home even more when Barry told me that he likes to wear his device.  He explained that, to him, it is a symbol of his devotion to me.  It is a 'mark' that he wears to remind him of his devotion to me ... and it helps him maintain that devotion.  He also admitted that he needs the device to maintain that devotion, especially when he is 'home alone'.

So, what we came up with is a very modified version of DS and how we treat the use of the chastity device.  The use of the chastity device is Barry's responsibility.  I don't keep the key.  He does.  He puts the device on when he feels he needs it or wants it.  If he does so when he goes to work, he leaves the key on his dresser.  However, at my request, when he wears the device while at home when I am away, he leaves the key in my lingerie drawer.  That way, if he considers removing it, he has to think of me even more as he retrieves the key.  He really liked that idea.

At this point it seems to be working.

We continue to grow together, as we listen to each other.  Since we are not 'spring chickens', this seems very important to me.


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Update on Chastity Device and Devotional Sex

This has been a good week and I feel like Barry and I are making progress.  When I implemented the reduced use of the chastity device Barry seemed relieved that he didn't have to wear it 24/7.  However, he also acknowledged to me that he didn't trust himself to behave without it when I am not around.  He validated my concern that, due to him having a private office at work, it would be too easy for him to spend time on the internet.

We quickly settled into a routine.  As soon as Barry finished his morning shower, he was locked up to go to work.  However, when he arrived home, I was waiting for him dressed in a sensual way and removed it immediately after he entered the house.  That was always followed by a brief Pleasure Kiss.  I also made sure I purposely aroused him several times during the evening and that we had a period of time together at the end of the evening, even if it was only for cuddling.  After reading Michael's comment to my last post concerning, I also began providing Barry with a brief taste of oral sex as I locked him up in the morning and assured him that there would be more to come when he arrived home.

I also used the "Suggest" command several times this week.  I did not always grant his suggestions, but I am very aware of what his favorite activities at this time are, so I can use them as rewards in the manner Michael suggested.  I did grant one of his suggestions last evening, which was one that surprised me.  Barry wanted to receive what we call a "Good Boy Spanking".  It is one that is administered in a loving, caring way and is significant enough to leave him with a nicely sore bottom.  However, it is one which is not so severe as to cause him to lose his erection.  Hence, he stays aroused during it.  The arousal is assisted by interludes of my fondling his scrotum and teasing his bud during the course of the spanking.  Since he has not been spanked for discipline very frequently, Barry was missing time over my lap and feeling a warm bottom.  It appears that this will be a way to give Barry his "spanking fix" without it involving punishment (accept when his behavior in other areas warrants it).

This felt like a good week and that we made progress.  However, I am not ready to send Barry to work (or anywhere without me) without his device yet.  I think he and I will both know when that is appropriate.


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Rethinking How to Use the Chastity Device

During our recent hiatus of being able to live together (when I had moved to care for a parent and Barry was alone), Barry reverted to his addiction to internet porn and masturbation.  My immediate reaction was to lock him up in his chastity device.  It was/is a very effective to stop the immediate problem.  However, as I have learned more about Devotional Sex, it feels like a better long term solution:  to cause Barry to desire sex/love with me (as opposed to the computer and his hand).  Since I have begun incorporating Devotional Sex in our life, I have seen changes in Barry.

So, yesterday, after reading comments on my blog and on the forum, I made a decision.  After we had cleaned up from dinner Barry and I sat down to talk in our family room.  I then told him to "Reveal", which meant he should remove all of his clothing.  That was very unusual for me to do when we were not in the bedroom.  He retired to the bedroom and returned without clothing.  I could tell that he was perplexed.

I then displayed the key to his chastity cage and told him that I planned to remove it, under the following conditions:

  • He would be out of chastity whenever we are physically together
  • He would still wear it when he went to work or any other time when I couldn't be with him
  • I explained to him that I still didn't trust him when we weren't together, but that I wanted him to experience an erection whenever I aroused him when we are together, I will frequently try to make that happen
The bottom line is that I want Barry to get aroused whenever I am with him.  I have come to realize that the chastity device prevents that.  So, it will be removed when I can trust him.  However, since I still don't trust him, it will be there when I'm not present.

This seems like a first step in moving towards more of a Devotional Sex environment.

Since my goal is to make him want to make love to me and not his computer/hand, I am already beginning of more ways to make him think of me whenever I can.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

A Few Thoughts About Devotional Sex

Just a few thoughts about Devotional Sex and why I think it is so beneficial...

I really like the way it causes the male to focus on pleasing his partner in a very mindful way.  It creates an atmosphere where he gets pleasure from pleasing her.  In addition, by allowing her to determine what happens, e.g. how she wants to be pleasured and how and to what degree she will pleasure the male, it helps the male learn that his orgasm is not the primary focus of intimate time.  It also seems like by not allowing the male to orgasm every time, it will help him understand this more fully and appreciate it even more.

I also love the language used in DS.  In addition to "Knight" and "Princess", Devotional Sex has many terms in its own language which I feel create a romantic atmosphere of  devotional love as opposed to sex.  It takes away much of the sometimes crude or even vulgar language which exists in today's society and also puts the focus more on mindful pleasuring of your partner as the goal, as opposed to achieving an orgasm.

Following are a few examples that DS recommends and that Barry and I are becoming very comfortable with:

Pleasure - my vagina
Desire - Barry's penis
Adore - Barry lies with his head between my legs so that he is looking at my Pleasure from very close.
Pleasure Kiss - oral sex on my Pleasure
Desire Kiss - oral sex on Barry's Desire
Joy - intercourse
Joy Ride - Joy in the Cowgirl position (Barry lying on his back and me sitting on top of him)
Joy Deep - Joy in the Doggy position (me on my hands and knees and Barry penetrating my Pleasure from behind)

DS also has its own language for commands or directions that are used during love making.

Barry and I are continuing to experiment and it seems to be working.  We are spending time on the DS website ( most evenings, and then trying out some of the new things we read about.  He was quite skeptical when we began this new endeavor, but I get a sense that it is feeling better for him as we go along.  I like it very much!


Monday, August 12, 2013

Devotional Sex

Last week was an interesting week in our home.  It began last Sunday with me feeling quite badly about how I had handled the situation with Barry the previous evening.  I knew he deserved to be dealt with, but I was upset with myself for handling the situation out of anger of the moment, as opposed to waiting and handling it in a calm and objective manner.  However, I quickly got over that as I realized that Barry was more upset with himself than he was with me for doing what I did.  It was apparent that he felt very badly and was ready for us to make some changes.

A couple of months ago we began talking about implementing "Devotional Sex" in our lifestyle, but never really got past the talking stage.  I brought it up again this week and we each agreed to try it out.  For those readers not familiar with "Devotional Sex" (DS), there are two websites that serve as excellent resources:

  • - which provides excellent explanations and guidelines
  • - a photo blog, which may appear to be pornographic, but offers excellent examples of the mindset that DS can create between partners.
The basic concepts that we are starting to implement include:
  • I am Barry's Princess and he is my Knight.  As his Princess I solely make the decisions about all aspects of our sexual activities.  I like this concept much better than "I have the Pussy, so I Make the Rules" model, which makes the female sound like a spoiled brat and the male feel like a submissive wimp.  In the Princess/Knight model, the Knight adores and worships the Princess and wants to pleasure her and the Princess views him as her Knight in shining armor.
  • The Knight agrees to obey the wishes and commands of the Princess (as long as they are within his limits - DS is fully consensual).
  • The Princess can command the Knight to pleasure her at any time and he agrees to do so for as long as she desires.
  • The Princess also decides how and when to pleasure her Knight, although she is open to requests or suggestions from him.  She also decides if/when the Knight will be allowed to orgasm.
There are many more aspects to DS, however these are the initial few basics that Barry and I are beginning to explore.

While, my sense is that a true and full DS relationship would not require a chastity device, Barry and I have agreed that he will remain in his device at all times, except when I decide it can be removed (such as for sexual activities, time when we are together and he is under my personal supervision, or a time of special reward to my Knight).

We are obviously just getting started on this new journey, but last week went well.  We talked a good bit last night and we each agreed that it feels right and we plan to continue.