Sunday, September 25, 2011

Growing into being a Keyholder

It feels like ages since I have posted (it has been too long).  However, I have felt like I didn't know what to post.  The past few weeks have been difficult for Barry and for me with respect to his being kept in a chastity device and with me learning to understand how to be an efffective keyholder for him.  I initially thought I would just keep him locked  up and orgasm free for a week or more at a time.  However, while it is obviously hard for Barry, I was surprised to learn that it would also be hard for me.  I like giving him pleasure!  So, I have been been trying to figure out what to do.  I have really appreciated the various comments that readers have offered, and have been considering a numberof the suggestions offered. 

I have eventually come to the understanding that I need to keep Barry sans orgasm for a length of time to make an impression upon him and achieve full control.  I have also come to realize that I also need to help both of us get through that process.  He has now not had an oorgasm for a little over three weeks.  It has not been easy for him.  However, I think I am beginning to learn how to manage him, thanks to the help of your suggestions and reading I have done of other blogs.

I have found that letting him out of his 'cage' under controlled circumstances is helpful.  I have also found that intense teasing (and denial) is also  beneficial.  The teasing gives each of us satisfaction, but the denial keeps him under my control.  So, I have been removing his device about twice a week for a thorough cleansing (and shaving when appropriate) of his genitals, and also provides an opportunity for easy teasing and denial. 

I have also found that the Ride-On PPA is a wonderful alternative chastity device.  It covers his penis, allows easy teasing of his scrotum, and provides great pleasure for me ... the best of all worlds from my point of view!  I have come to love the Ride-On.  It not only provides me with great pleasure, but it also provides a great handle by which I can lead my man around :-).

Last night, during an intense teasing session, I also decided to give Barry a choice.  I told him that I would allow him to masturbate in my presence and I would make him stop all stimulation the moment he began to orgasm ... or he could wait anothe three weeks and receive a full orgasm from me.  I was a bit surprised to have him choose the latter option.

So, his celibacy continues; but my pleasure from his Ride-On and oral worship also continues.  Chastity is definitely a new journey for us.  Based on his decision last night, I think we are each enjoying the journey.



  1. My Mistress enjoys Mistress Ivey's blog: Becoming a Mistress
    She says she has learned from her.

  2. I'm always here to support you, Susan.

  3. Well, since we're sharing links... This is clips of me spanking my partner. We don't go so far as to say it's a female-led home, (I'm the female), but it's more like a loving, nurturing - but strict - home, if that makes sense. We have both signed an agreement - a modified version of the Spencer Spanking Plan - and when he messes up on the things he and I BOTH agreed on, he is spanked. He also gets corner time - sometimes without a spanking, but mostly with. I hope you enjoy our clips, though I have to say that these weren't taken for anything but our own enjoyment. They are much more "amateur" - but we both actually prefer that, anyway. There are free previews, by the way. Any proceeds will be for buying new toys and outfits to make more clips with. ;)

    We are interested in talking with other COUPLES - no single men, please - about this lifestyle, as we are just starting out in it in a meaningful way. Or will be soon. We live apart now, and privacy is an issue, but that should be changing. Definitely want to know how couples handle the male ego in everyday life, while still administering real punishment spankings and corner time. My partner is not "wimpy" at all, and I wonder if all I read here and other sites is for real. I guess we'll find out!!



  4. Actually, I've never given much thought to chastity devices - Apparently I don't like the idea much. But then, on further thought, the idea becomes much more powerful. By taking away a man's power to sexually relieve himself, even when his lover is ten miles away, makes the whole "game" very real indeed.
    Why not get a video camera on a tripod with "display time and date" enabled. Then, after he's finished with the housework, he can turn on the camera and, say, kneel in the corner for an hour - the camera will record whether he did as he was told or not. Ooh, that's nasty! Why, you could even insist that he spank himself. Yikes! There is no end to the control you could inflict from afar...