I had a wonderful surprise Monday evening. Margaret (from the inn where Barry and I stayed in NY) called. She wanted to check in with me to follow-up on our conversation the morning we left. I shared with her my hesitation about making such a dramatic change with respect to being the HOH, which opened up a wonderful conversation. I ended up sharing more details with her of what I have actually done with respect to FLR so far, especially concerning what I have done with respect to chastity and sexual aspects. When she realized that even though I have often been keeping Barry in his device, I have also been making sure he is sexually satisfied whenever I am, she had a very different perspective. I don't think I want to go through all of the details of how we got to this point. But, her advice (which makes lots of sense to me) is that I need to deprive Barry of orgasms. It is the need for them that is the key to creating a loving, caring husband who will do whatever I ask of him. She feels it is also the key to having Barry accept me being the HOH in a FLR. As we talked and I thought about it, this makes perfect sense to me. It also allows me to move to being HOH in a more gradual way. I didn't get much sleep last night as I thought about our conversation and how best to proceed.
Last evening during dinner, I had a heart to heart conversation with Barry about our relationship and where I have been led on our journey. We again talked about me being the HOH and he still liked that idea. I shared with him that I am going begin by taking even more control of our sexual life. I informed him that he will now be in his chastity device 24/7, unless I decide to release him, and that he needs to understand that his goal is to please me sexually whenever I desire. His sexual needs will be met less often, when I feel it is beneficial.
After dinner, we retired to the bedroom where I locked him in his device and advised him that he could expect to be in it until at least Sunday, and I explained that having it off for a bit on Sunday will be dependent upon his behavior between now and then. I also reminded him that I expect him to pleasure me whenever I desire it. I then informed him that I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath while he did the dishes. And, that I expected him to join me in the bedroom when I was done.
When I finished my bath, well after Barry had cleaned up the kitchen, I put on a teddy and found Barry working at the computer. It didn't take much coaxing to have him join me in the bedroom. However, he slowly learned that I meant what I said. After he orally pleasured me to a very satisfying orgasm, I hugged and kissed him. And, then I went to sleep. As I did so, it was obvious how frustrated and unsatisfied he felt. Somehow, I couldn't help but think about the many nights I felt the same way early in our marriage when he would have an orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep.
I think the coming few days will be very interesting for him, but I now feel confident that I am able to take things slowly as we move forward in our journey. I don't think either of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started. However, I am also confident that we are moving towards a much more satisfying relationship for both of us.
Susan
Although the number of orgasms he is allowed will decrease it will NOT mean less sex or a poorer quality sex life.
ReplyDeleteIf he is teased and denied and he is manipulated his genitals and his internal feelings will be enhanced due to their aching for orgasm.
The quality of his sexual experience will be greatly enhanced from your control and use and play of his genitals without orgasm.It might mean also your wanting to play with your newly owned toys much more often and frequently.
He will also have to learn that your orgasms are a shared event.Your orgasms will become his.
its vital that males learn that their ability to orgasm is not a given and that their sense of male entitlement is not going to be pandered too.
Love your blog and I've followed it since the beginning. Seems like you've been on the path to HOH and FLR since the beginning of your journey.
ReplyDeleteFrom the male perspective, if you keep Barry in an aroused/interested state, he will be more than happy to serve you both sexually and in other areas of life.
Take care.
Bob
My wife has a saying. "A horny husband is a good husband". She believes that 10 or less orgasms for any man is way more than enough. Now it is August and I have had 4 orgasms to this date. She likes to make me eait 6 to 8 weeks for a chance to cum. More weeks are added on for poor housework, not ironing her clothes properly and poor attitude. Last week she added 2 more weeks onto me for giving her a sarcastic remark. Now I will not cum until October. I do not wear a chastity device. I used to but my wife felt that it was an artifical method of control. She said if I want a WLM she will do it, but no cumming on my own. And I haven't done so in 3 years. Men need to be kept horny. I know I am so much better after a month and I have another month to go.
ReplyDeleteOf coucrse, my wife gets regular orgasms. Alot of oral sex and with the Hitachi Wand. She keeps her panties on for the wand because it is so strong. She likes that because she doesn't have to pull up her panties, she just says goodnight, and "no wet dreams".
Also to my above comment, when I am finally allowed to cum, it is never in her pussy. She may rub me thru my panties, telling me, "you are allowed to mess yourself". Or if I am allowed the special privledge of entering her pussy, I must ask for permission to cum when I get close ( sometimes she says no), and then pull it out and shoot into a plastic cup I keep next to me. She may stroke it for me, or only allow a ruined orgasm. I may never stroke it. If she says no, I must take it out and nothing more is allowed, but an ice pack.
ReplyDeleteIt's is very interesting to read your story as it seems to mirror ours. We started using DD for fun, then it became real and slowly that is evolving into a more and more FLR marriage. The further we go with that, the happier we both our.
ReplyDeleteTim (scally)