I had a wonderful surprise Monday evening. Margaret (from the inn where Barry and I stayed in NY) called. She wanted to check in with me to follow-up on our conversation the morning we left. I shared with her my hesitation about making such a dramatic change with respect to being the HOH, which opened up a wonderful conversation. I ended up sharing more details with her of what I have actually done with respect to FLR so far, especially concerning what I have done with respect to chastity and sexual aspects. When she realized that even though I have often been keeping Barry in his device, I have also been making sure he is sexually satisfied whenever I am, she had a very different perspective. I don't think I want to go through all of the details of how we got to this point. But, her advice (which makes lots of sense to me) is that I need to deprive Barry of orgasms. It is the need for them that is the key to creating a loving, caring husband who will do whatever I ask of him. She feels it is also the key to having Barry accept me being the HOH in a FLR. As we talked and I thought about it, this makes perfect sense to me. It also allows me to move to being HOH in a more gradual way. I didn't get much sleep last night as I thought about our conversation and how best to proceed.
Last evening during dinner, I had a heart to heart conversation with Barry about our relationship and where I have been led on our journey. We again talked about me being the HOH and he still liked that idea. I shared with him that I am going begin by taking even more control of our sexual life. I informed him that he will now be in his chastity device 24/7, unless I decide to release him, and that he needs to understand that his goal is to please me sexually whenever I desire. His sexual needs will be met less often, when I feel it is beneficial.
After dinner, we retired to the bedroom where I locked him in his device and advised him that he could expect to be in it until at least Sunday, and I explained that having it off for a bit on Sunday will be dependent upon his behavior between now and then. I also reminded him that I expect him to pleasure me whenever I desire it. I then informed him that I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath while he did the dishes. And, that I expected him to join me in the bedroom when I was done.
When I finished my bath, well after Barry had cleaned up the kitchen, I put on a teddy and found Barry working at the computer. It didn't take much coaxing to have him join me in the bedroom. However, he slowly learned that I meant what I said. After he orally pleasured me to a very satisfying orgasm, I hugged and kissed him. And, then I went to sleep. As I did so, it was obvious how frustrated and unsatisfied he felt. Somehow, I couldn't help but think about the many nights I felt the same way early in our marriage when he would have an orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep.
I think the coming few days will be very interesting for him, but I now feel confident that I am able to take things slowly as we move forward in our journey. I don't think either of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started. However, I am also confident that we are moving towards a much more satisfying relationship for both of us.