Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Power of Role Play and Prostrate Stimulation

I very much appreciate the comments and suggestions submitted concerning Barry's ED.  It is not a fun thing for either one of us, but we are working together to find ways to address and deal with it.

Last weekend, I decided to try something as a surprise to Barry.  I hoped that the surprise factor might be helpful.  We had not used 'role play' for quite some time, so I decided to so.  After dinner on Saturday evening, I suggested that he go take a shower, put on his suit, and meet me in his office. When he arrived, I was dressed in a business suit and assumed the role of his boss. I confronted him with evidence that he had been spanking his female subordinates and also spending significant time surfing the internet sex sites during his work time.

I'm not going to go into details, but he agreed to do anything I asked rather than lose his job.  My requirements included his being spanked and pegged. It didn't take long for him to have a raging erection, which pleased both of us.

As we get older and deal with things like ED, one of our adages is "Never waste an erection". Needless to say, we didn't.

So, now the question is what caused his reaction?  Was it the role play or the pegging?  Will it continue? (I plan to find out). I also hope to explore other options.

Who knows where this will lead and whether or not the same thing will work again. However, we are both encouraged.

We continue to learn and grow.


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Adjusting to Erectile Dysfunction - Continued

I want to express my appreciation for the responses to my last post. I really appreciate the caring and support that Barry and I receive.  We continue to work through this and we are open to new ideas. Tri-mix definitely falls into the category of new ideas for us; and we will explore it.  However, I'm not sure we will explore it through a gyn doctor.  I'm not sure why the anonymous comment made that suggestion as a source.  Perhaps more could be shared to help us understand.

We have been and continue to work with more direct physical support.  We are currently using the Ride-on dildo that slips over Barry's penis when I have a desire to be penetrated.  It works well when Barry can achieve some level of erection.  It also makes him feel good about being able to penetrate me.  However, I have to confess that I used to joke about it being my trophy cock.  It no longer feels that way, because I miss the realness of Barry's penis. It's not the same and I miss that realness of his erection within me.  However, it is still wonderful.

What is more wonderful is Barry's desire to please me with his mouth and his hands.  Those skills were already developed as we moved into the realm of devotional sex. I am also now learning how to develop new devotional sex skills to please Barry.  It is a wonderful equalizing gift. It also makes each of us more fully appreciate the concept of devotional sex. We each want to please each other.  And we each need to find new ways to do so.  The good news is that we are each doing that.

Thank you, my friends, for your understanding and support. As or lives change,understanding, caring, and support is important.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Adjusting to a Life with Erectile Dysfunction

ED is something that Barry and I are learning to live with.  It is also something that we each agree we should share in this blog, because we know we are not alone in this journey.  However, it is something that most couples aren't comfortable talking about.  I'm extremely proud of Barry for being supportive of us talking about what it is and how we deal with it.  We each feel it is important to share.

The most important thing that we have learned is that ED can be a precursor sign of higher risk for a heart attack.  We wish we knew that before Barry experienced his heart attack over a year ago.  He had been periodically experiencing ED prior to that and had discussed it with his primary care physician.  However, the physician never mentioned that this could be a preliminary sign of heart issues.  So if your lover is experiencing ED, please be alert to other possible indicators or risk factors with respect to heart disease. That is probably the most important thing I can share.  We were lucky.  Barry had a heart attack and is still here!

What is ED?

I'm sure the specific symptoms can vary between different males.  However, for Barry, it has involved difficulty in achieving a firm erection and the inability to sustain a firm erection for any significant period of time.  He still has sexual urges and desires.  He can still ejaculate (although it usually requires significant and prolonged stimulation).  However, he frequently can not achieve or maintain an erection of sufficient firmness to penetrate and stimulate me for more than a moment or so.  That is particularly frustrating to him, and also to me.

So, how do you deal with ED?

The answer to this question is an ongoing process for us.  I don't think there are any hard and fast answers.  We've had to find our own path, and we are continuing to learn new things.  I'm very thankful that we had previously learned about "devotional sex" and practiced some aspects of it. That has helped us be more attuned to wanting to please each other.  That has also  allowed us to be more open to exploring different ways to please each other that do not involve Barry penetrating me.  In fact, prior to the ED issue, Barry became quite adept at providing me with an orgasm without penetrating me.  I've had a bit of a higher learning curve with respect to finding appropriate ways to please him, but I'm getting there.

In many ways, it is beautiful that we've had to adapt and find new ways to please each other.  We each realize that providing that pleasure is the most important aspect of a sexual relationship.  And, we are each committed to doing that.  We have learned that sexual pleasure can come from many different types of loving acts, and it doesn't have to be limited to what we have always done before.

In some future posts, I will try to share some of what we have learned.  I'm not yet clear how detailed we are willing to get.  However, I will do my best to share some meaningful information.

I hope that others can benefit from what Barry and I are experiencing.


Thursday, August 13, 2015

A Challenging Summer

I want to begin by expressing my appreciation to those of you who submitted comments or sent emails to me indicating that you missed us and hoped we were OK.  I can't begin to adequately share how meaningful they were.

It's been a tough spring and summer for Barry and me, but we are fine.  Shortly after my last post, we learned that Barry was still having some heart issues.  Fortunately, he didn't have another heart attack, because we acted promptly.  However, he did end up with two more stents being installed.  Since then, my complete focus has been on his rehab and working to learn and do all we can to help prevent another episode.  Consequently, my heart and mind have not been on posting.  I'm just now beginning to realize how much I miss it.  And, I want to apologize for not at least posting something to share what was going on in our lives.

This recent heart event, along with some additional medications that Barry is taking, has created another surprise in our lives ... erectile dysfunction.  Barry had previously experienced it on occasion.  However, after this heart event, it came on with a vengeance.   We have learned that it is pretty common with heart situations.  Needless to say, it is frustrating to both of us, but especially for Barry.  However, we have been learning how to work with it.  I don't want to go into more detail right now, but will try to share more in subsequent posts.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Surprises for Each of Us

Barry's punishment didn't take place until Tuesday night due to some unanticipated events Sunday night and Monday.  However, when it did occur, we were each in for a bit of a surprise.

After dinner, I directed Barry to shower and dress in the punishment outfit I had placed on our bed for him.  It consisted of a black garter belt and black stockings, his punishment panties (red, sheer nylon that snugly cover his entire bottom), and a black nylon teddy that comes down to mid thigh on him.  I love the way the garter belt and stocking frame his bottom for a spanking.  I also advised him to bring the wooden hairbrush to the living room when he is dressed.

About a half hour later Barry appeared in the living room looking very aroused with his erect penis serving as a tent pole in his panties.  I had placed a straight chair in the center of the room and he quickly found himself draped over my lap.  Before I began, I asked him if he knew why he was being punished.  He did and admitted that he shouldn't stare at and ogle other women's bottoms because he knows how much I dislike him to do so.  

I also commented about how aroused he was, which prompted an answer and comment that would be my surprise:  Barry informed me that he has missed these punishment spankings lately.  As I probed more, he admitted that he had purposely tried to irritate me on the trip so that I would finally give him one again!  I never saw that coming.

I then administered a very hard hair brushing, first over his panties and then on his bare.  It didn't take long for his erection to disappear.  When I finally finished, I placed him in the corner and told him to remain there until I came back.  He made a comment about being surprised that I was done with him so quickly.  He seemed pleased when I advised him that I was no where near being done; and that the hairbrush spanking was just a warm up.

After about 15 minutes, I returned to the living room with a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs, which I placed on Barry's wrists with his hands in front of him.  I then led him into the dining room where I had placed our Liberator ramp on the end of the dining room table.  I had Barry bend over it with his hands out in front of him.  The ramp was a perfect height and angle to present his bottom to be for the implements I had placed on the sideboard (which Barry could not see do to the blindfold).

I then selected my first implement, rubbed in against his panty clad bottom, and asked him to guess what it was.  He was pretty close.  He guessed a ruler, when it was actually our ruler paddle.  I told him he would received ten with it over his panties, followed by twenty on his bare bottom.  He was dancing nicely by the time I was done.  I then selected the second implement and made him guess again.  This time he was completely wrong, thinking it was a hard leather paddle when it was a lexan paddle.  Twenty-five on the bare had him begging me to stop.  The third implement (leather strap) was guessed correctly and I gave him twenty.  

Then came Barry's surprise for the night.  The last implement was a lovely new straight rattan cane from the folks at Cane-iac.  I had ordered it on our trip and it was waiting for me when we arrived home.  When he tried to guess what it was, Barry had no idea until I swished it through the air.  He immediately let out a loud sigh.  Barry has always had a fear of the cane, so I knew this would get his attention.  After giving him a few light test taps with it, I advised him that he was going to receive twelve strokes with it.  I have to proudly admit that I did quite a nice job of placing twelve red stripes across his bottom and sit spot (I had practiced a little with it using a pillow as my target).  I was surprised at how well he took it (I think he was too).   It certainly go his attention.

We then progressed to the bedroom where I applied some aloe cream to his tender cheeks.  I then allowed him to worship my bottom, which of course led to other pleasures.

Given the fact that Barry has missed the harder discipline spankings, I assured him that I would do my best to find some reasons to keep him happier in the future <grin>.


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Back at Home ... and some thoughts

Barry and I arrived home after a glorious time in the southwest.  We spent most of our time in New Mexico and Arizona.  The natural scenery and monuments were absolutely beautiful, and we loved the Santa Fe area.  It was wonderful to have time to just relax and explore without being on a time frame or having to be at any one place at a given time.  We loved the flexibility of staying in an area until we were ready to move on.  Traveling during shoulder season while retired is a wonderful gift that we don't take for granted.

An interesting side of the trip was Barry's behavior while we were away, especially in restaurants.  I suspect it was exacerbated by the fact that we ate so many meals out (We did have a few hotels with small kitchenettes, where we could bring food in to heat up in a microwave and we did make some picnic lunches.  However, most meals were in restaurants.)    Barry's desire/need to stare at/ogle women's behinds reappeared ... BIG TIME.  I think he also felt a bit safe in misbehaving, because most of our lodging was inexpensive facilities with limited sound-proofing.  Because of that, there really were not any opportunities to administer a proper punishment spanking while we were away.  I warned him that he would pay a price when we returned home, but I suspect he didn't think I would really do that (he was wrong ... tonight he will learn that I meant what I said).

However, this experience has made me wonder about the male fascination with the female behind.  Is Barry unique in his fascination? (I suspect not); is he typical?; or is there a spectrum among males with this fascination?  What do the male readers of this blog think?  I suspect it is not a scientific sampling, since the readers obviously have an interest in spanking.  However, I'd still like to hear your thoughts and perspectives.

It feels good to be home and to share something on this blog.


Monday, April 6, 2015

Time to Travel and Have Fun

Barry and I have always wanted to travel, but never had the time to do so before we retired.  After each of our health issues, we made a pledge to do so.  We are now making good on that pledge.  We have decided that we need to travel while we still have our health, so we are going to do so.

We are also very fortunate to have the financial capability to do at least some travel.  So, we have made some plans for several trips this year.    We leave Thursday on our first excursion, an extensive road trip to the southwest.  It is an area that has intrigued both of us, so we are each excited.  Since it is still 'off-season', we have not made any reservations.  We are going to go where the spirit leads us, and we are not sure when we will return home.

We have another trip planned for the fall.  I'll share more about that later.

So, expect some long absences (or at least, much fewer posts).  As you know, I have absented myself from this blog previously because I don't like to be tied down.  I don't make any promises about posting while we are traveling.  If he spirit moves me, I will do so.  If I'm not moved, I won't.  I must confess, that I'm looking forward to this freedom ... and time for Barry and me to just enjoy each other and new experiences.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Responding to a Question

A short time ago, the following comment was posted to one of my blog entries.  I also have received some individual email concerning the same topic.

Dear Susan
I am reading through your wonderful blog and realizing you have dealt successfully with what is a huge problem for me and that is my husbands chronic masturbation habit. We have been in a domestic discipline relationship for almost three years and I regularly spank him for violating rules we have both agreed upon. Masturbation without my permission is a major no no. But spanking has had almost no lasting effect on his masturbation much of what he hides from me. To my point, will you maybe in a single post talk about how you have gotten Barry under control and what advice you would give to wives struggling with the same behavior. I know this is a common problem and maybe there are other wives who would benefit from your thoughts as much as I will

Thank you

Mary Ann

I've been giving the question some considerable thought this week as Barry and I transitioned back to a normal routine.  I think I'm finally ready to try to provide a meaningful answer to the question.

When Barry and I first began this journey, he had a masturbation addiction which was threatening our sex life (and our marriage).  At that time he also expressed his need to be spanked.  I initially tried a variety of approaches to deal with his masturbation.  They mostly centered on punishment, including some pretty severe spanking.  I also tried locking him in a chastity cage (which, at one point he found a way to remove).  My various efforts provided short term solutions.  However, as I look back on it now, none of them provided a long term solution or cure to his masturbation addiction.  Any addiction is a disease.  And I have also come to understand that any attempt to deal with that disease must come from the person who is suffering from it.  It can't come from outside forces, such as punishment.

I am extremely thankful that Barry has found a way to deal with his addiction.  I also think I have come to understand what has helped him do so.  It wasn't the spankings I gave him.  It also wasn't the cage.  I believe it was the new life-style we assumed when we discovered and each worked to implement Devotional Sex for both of us.   I must also share that we practice a version of Devotional Sex that is a little different that what is included on he web ... primarily because of Barry's strong submissive nature/desires and his interest in what some would consider to be "kinky" sex.  However, what we did implement was a desire for each of us to be devoted to pleasing each other.  That has become the ultimate goal of each of us.  We do include the aspect that I am in control, which fits very nicely with Barry's submissiveness.

Since we both bought into Devotional Sex, we have greatly increased the amount of opportunities when we spend quality sexual time together (which previously had not been a priority for me).  Each opportunity does not result in sexual gratification for Barry (because I am in control).  However, the increased number of opportunities for sexual engagement has resulted in an increased number of times that Barry receives sexual gratification.  And, the times when  he is not gratified, cause him to desire me even more, because he knows we are each enjoying sexual activity together.  And he has come to realize that our sex life is much better for BOTH of us.

I have come to understand and appreciate that it takes both of us to create a healthy and happy sex life.  Barry has also come to understand that, and consequently, works harder to find ways to please me sexually.  Each of us working together is what I believe has resolved his masturbation addiction.   That is because he now desires to have me please him, rather than using his hand.  And, that happens more often.  I also want to do it more often, because Barry's focus is also to please me.

Devotional Sex has been a gift to us. 


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 3 (Saturday afternoon and evening)

Carol led me to the dining room, where I found a bare dining room table with no chairs around it.  The table is one that can allow extension pieces to be put into it to make it larger.  Carol had opened the table about 4 inches, so there was a small gap in the middle. She had also brought the bondage system from Barry's bed and installed it under the table, so that there were bondage points extending from each of the tables four legs.

As I looked on in amazement, Carol began to explain her thought process.  Barry would lie face down on the table and be bound spread-eagled to the four legs.  She would stay outside the table or on top of it, straddling Barry ... where she could spank him.  I would be below, where I could do whatever I wanted to do with respect to his penis and testicles which would be hanging down.  It would allow us to create the scenario in the video he loves ... with two, not one, individuals involved.  It would also allow us to spank and tease Barry at the same time.  And, it would allow me to do whatever I wanted to do to Barry without Carol knowing what I was doing.   I couldn't believe what she had created.  I quickly said, "Let's do it".

We decided to blindfold Barry before bringing him into the dining room.  We led him there and then helped him climb on the table, where we made sure his manhood protruded into the slot available and then bound his ankles and wrists to the four corners.  I quietly went below, while Carol began to lightly spank him.  When I first touched his penis, I could tell he was surprised (and pleased).

Carol then continued to spank him as I continued to sexually tease him.  We didn't verbally communicate, but I was able to keep him aroused as she intensified the spanking.  We kept him on edge for what must have been at least a half hour.  There came a point when she slowed down the spanking.  That gave me an opportunity to ask Barry if he wanted to climax.  Of course he did.  When he said "yes", I informed him that there would be a price to pay.  By this point, he was just needing to climax, and was ready to agree to anything.  We had kept him sexually aroused (off and on) for almost 18 hours.

I could tell that Carol was continuing to back off on the spanking, so I increased the manual stimulation.  But, I also made sure I kept him under control.  I also reminded Barry that he needed to have our permission to climax. He was finally again begging for permission for a release.  When I finally gave it to him, he climaxed in a matter of 10 or 15 seconds.  And his seminal fluid went everywhere!

And then I reminded Barry that there was a price to pay.  And, I kept stroking and teasing his penis.  Thankfully, Carol was still sitting on his back and she realized what was going on.  She stayed there as I kept stroking and teasing.  She also resumed a light spanking.

It was clear that Barry was in distress, but I also sensed that he was loving it in a way.  I continued for for what must have been several minutes before I stopped.  When I did, it was clear that it was a relief.

We eventually released him from the table and Carol led him back to the family room, where she bound him to the theater chair while I took a shower.  I had his cum all over me, including in my hair.  We let him rest in the chair for over an hour. We then started showing him photos from the flash drive.  Much to my surprise his penis came back to life.

So, using the Hitachi, I made him climax again.

After another hour, we repeated this process.  Again, I was surprised at his response.  After another hour, when I tried again, he achieved an erection, but even the Hitachi could not induce a climax.  We had worn him out.

At this point Carol and I looked at each other and shared the joy of achieving all of our goals.  Barry had wanted some realism.  And, Carol and I had set a goal of giving Barry lots of pleasure, as well as frustration, and meeting his desire for experiencing some reality.  That final goal of his was achieved by hopefully making him understand that fantasy is very different than reality.  We provided a lot of fantasy, but in the end, we provided some harsh reality.

It was after 6 PM by this time, so we heated up the lasagna and enjoyed a relaxing dinner together, with some wine, and used that opportunity to debrief.

Barry was the first to share and his initial comment was "I don't ever want to receive a two quart enema again."  I couldn't help myself and I giggled a little bit when I asked him "But, since you have a number of enema bag photos, I thought that was something that intrigued you."  He admitted that it was, but that he learned the hard way that it is better left as a fantasy.  He did say that he enjoyed lying over Carol's lap as it went in, that the pleasure ended there.  Standing in the shower and holding it was awful and it seemed like it would never all get out of him.  Barry seemed to like everything else.  He specifically commented positively about the prolonged spankings and how sore his bottom now is, even though the spankings were not hard to endure at the time.  He also commented about how being edged for so long was difficult, but rewarding at the same time.   He had similar feelings about his time on the milking table in the dining room.  He loved it, even though the continued stroking after his orgasm was hard to endure.  He especially liked the realism that Carol and I brought to the role play and the way we played our roles.  He also commented about being blindfolded at different times and how that made things feel more intense.  It was clear that he was pleased and that the enema was the only negative part of the role play for him.

Carol and I were equally positive.  I was very happy with how she handled her additional freedom to participate more.  She and I are quite comfortable working together.  The only negative for me was that I was somewhat inhibited by Carol's presence sometimes.  There were sexual things that I would have liked to do if Barry and I were alone, but I was not comfortable doing them in front of Carol.  I really appreciated the fact that when she created the milking table in the dining room, she stayed on top of the table and left be below with Barry's dangling penis and testicles.  However, knowing she could hear what I was doing and the fact that I didn't know what Barry would say at any time, I  was still somewhat inhibited.  However, that is minor.  The important thing is that Barry and I each have a high level of trust in her, so we are OK letting her enter this realm of our life.

As a final note, I was amazed at Carol's creativity in helping me create this role play, especially with respect to utilizing furniture in her house.  The theater chair, ottoman, and dining room table provided amazing "pervertible" furniture to create an atmosphere for Barry.

By 9 PM, it was time for Barry and me to head home.  My car was in her driveway, since I had driven there on Friday afternoon and rode back to our home in her car in preparation for us using it to kidnap Barry.  I think we were all exhausted, but I also had some other needs that needed to be met before we were done.  Barry wasn't the only one who was kept on edge for a little over 24 hours!


Monday, March 30, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 2 (Friday night/Saturday morning)

When Barry came into the kitchen, it was obvious that he hadn't enjoyed the enema experience.  He was quite grumpy and had no signs of an erection.  We had him sit on a hard stool at the counter and asked if he would like some lasagna.  He took it, but barely touched it as we continued to make it clear that we were in charge and that he would be soundly spanked as soon as he finished.

We finally gave him five minutes to finish his plate, at which time we would remove it from him.  When the time was up, we led him into Carol's family room/entertainment center.

In that room, we had set up several areas of activity.  The first one that Barry noticed was two straight-backed chairs facing each other.  He knew from experience what that meant, and it was evident that it excited him.

He next noticed the two theater chairs similar those pictured here, which had a pair of wrist cuffs attached to each arm.  The two ottomans were placed to each side of one of the chairs and each had a length of thick nylon rope attached to its base.  It didn't take Barry long to realize he would be well secured with his legs spread.

He then looked at the huge flat-screen TV which the chairs faced.  On the piece of furniture below the TV was Carol's laptop, connected to the TV system with the flash drive containing all of Barry's porn files.  Near the chairs was a table containing an array of toys that I had provided, including:  Barry's penis pump, an electric toothbrush, a Wartenberg wheel, small pieces of sandpaper, our Hitachi vibrator, a Fleshlight (newly purchased), several tubes of various creams, and a dozen spring-loaded clothes pins,

Finally on the other side of the room was a "pervertable" spanking
bench that Carol had created using a large upholstered ottoman (2' x 3') to which Carol had tied length of nylon rope to each foot.  There was also a table nearby that contained a wide variety of spanking tools, including thin wooden paddles of various sizes (some of which were new purchases), leather paddles, a wooden ruler, a leather strap, and a cane (new purchase).

I then explained to Barry that during his stay at the "Retreat" house, he was going to be kept constantly aroused and be frequently spanked.  His response was a hardening erection.

Carol and I started on the evening activities by taking him over our laps as we sat in the chairs facing each other.  We must have spanked him for at least 30 minutes, making sure we kept him aroused, but also making sure we were continually increasing the redness of his bottom and thighs.  We then secured him to his theater chair in a completely exposed position.  After starting a video from his porn collection, we used the various toys available to tease him.  After teasing him with the Wartenberg wheel, Carol installed the penis pump and pumped all the air out of it.  After leaving him like that for over a half hour as we watched videos, we took it off and moved him to the ottoman spanking bench, which we made him straddle with his legs and lie on it face down before we secured his hands and ankles to the four legs.  That position left him completely exposed to us.  One of us then straddled his back as we both paddled him (again, keeping him aroused, as well as well spanked).

By about 11 PM, as we placed him in the theater chair for the third time and after Barry had experienced all of the toys there (including clothespins on his nipples and scrotum), Barry began to beg us to let him cum.  Being compassionate, I told Barry that if he wanted to cum, we would give him 60 seconds to masturbate in front of us, like he did in what the hidden camera recorded in his office.  He quickly agreed; and then learned that it wouldn't be that easy.  Before allowing him to start, I rubbed lidocaine cream on the head and shaft of his penis and then covered him with two condoms.  We then delayed him from masturbating for over twenty minutes, providing time for the lidocaine to work.

When the timer went off indicating the end of his 60 seconds, we announced that it was time for another spanking and then to go to bed ... but perhaps we'd give another chance to masturbate in teh morning.  After taking him across both our laps again for a lengthy spanking with our hands and several thin paddles, and we led him into one of Carol's guest rooms.  There he saw a full size bed with no top sheet or blankets, but with the bed restraint system that we had used for our Christmas get-a-way.  After rubbing a little "Icey-Hot" onto his bottom and then securing him to the bed on his back in a spread-eagle position, I rubbed a second little dab of "Icey-Hot" onto his scrotum.  Neither were enough to cause any real pain, but enough to let him think of Carol and me as he tried to sleep.

During the night, Carol and I took turns visiting Barry to either spank or sexually arouse him every hour and a half.  Since I was sleeping in a guest room next to Barry's room, I couldn't help but hear Carol when she arrived for the first session.  It was apparent that she was teasing him with the Hitachi vibrator before giving him a lengthy spanking.  When my turn came an hour and a half later, I teased him to an erection and brought him to the edge before turning him over for a dose of our new bamboo paddle, which packs a very nice sting.  I must have slept through Carol's second visit.  At 9 in the morning, when we decided to get him up, it was clear that he hadn't had much sleep.  However, it was also clear that he was easily aroused.

After providing Barry with some breakfast we all returned to the family room, where we resumed the rotation of events we started the previous night, rotating between the two spanking stations and the theater chair where we showed him his favorite videos and photos while we physically and verbally teased him.  Of course, the toys were put to use as well.

Especially when we had him secured to the theater chair and watching videos or photos, Barry continued to beg for some sexual relief.  Around 1 PM, we had him watching a video he had saved called something like "Phantomette Handjob Torture".  A man is strapped to what looks like a kitchen table and is being strapped by a young women.  She eventually appears below the table, where his penis and scrotum are hanging through a hole in the table.  She proceeds to stroke him and tease him for a long period of time before she allows him to climax.  After she does, she then continues to stroke him, causing him great discomfort.  Barry was obviously very excited while watching it, when suddenly Carol jumped up and said "Hey, I have an idea". She then disappeared from the room.  When she returned, she asked me to come look at what she had arranged.  When I did so, I loved what I saw.

It was clear that she had found an unexpected way for us to move to the next stage of this role-play.  However, I should probably save that for the final installment.


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play - Part 1 (Friday night)

When Barry returned from Home Depot late Friday afternoon, Carol and I were sitting in the living room enjoying a cup of tea together.  When he greeted us, I became very formal and directed him to go to our bedroom and get dressed in the 'office' clothes I had placed on the bed for him.  I also informed him that he was then to go to his office and wait for us to arrive.  I told him that we were going to do a role play and that the setting was early evening on Friday.  He is working late because of a major project that has to be completed for Monday.  He thinks he is the only one in the office.  I also shared with him that Carol and I would be playing the roles we assumed for our last role play:  I am his current office assistant and Carol is a former one.  He then quickly departed for our bedroom without saying a word.

When we heard him go to his office, Carol and I then went to the bedroom to change our clothes.  We took our time, because I wanted Barry to have time to ponder what was going to happen and increase his anticipation.  We each changed into our formal and conservative office clothes.

When we walked into his office, Barry immediately assumed the role and setting I described.  He acted surprised that I was still in the office and had no idea why Carol was there.  I got right down to business with him and explained that I am very concerned and disappointed that he has not learned anything that I have been trying to teach him.  I explained that I recently learned that our office intern had unexpectedly resigned, so I contacted her.  I learned that she resigned because he had attempted to spank her for lack of productivity.  I also pointed to the ceiling of his office where I had tapped a small toy video camera.  I asked if he had noticed that being there the past week.  He again played the role and was shocked.  I told him that it showed some very disturbing behavior: including him sitting at his desk staring at his computer and doing something.  I then made him tell Carol and me what he was doing.  It took a while, but he finally admitted that he was masturbating.

Once I had that admission, I took our scenario to another level. I told him that because he was obviously using the computer to aid him, I had taken the opportunity when he was out of the office to spend some time on his computer.  I was able to quickly use Windows Explorer to find a set of folders containing a very interesting collection of porn.  I then let him know that his browser history was extremely revealing.  Bringing it all together, I then showed him a thumb drive.  I explained to him that it contained a copy of all of his porn files and copies of screen prints of his browser history.

I have to confess that I never knew that Barry had acting talents.  But he does!  His face seemed to go pale as he said "Oh, my God!"  He began to beg me to give it to him and was promising anything.

It was then that he began to understand that this was going to be his birthday celebration role play (since his birthday is almost a week away).  I explained to him that Carol and I were going to teach him a lesson that would hopefully help him change his ways.  As I talked, Carol and I went behind his desk to take him under control.  Carol placed a blindfold over his eyes while I put his hands in cuffs in front of him.  I explained to him that he was coming with us to a place for a bit of a "retreat"where he will hopefully learn to understand how it feels to be treated like he is treating his female employees.

He began to protest that he would be missed and this would never work.  I then shared with him that I had talked with his wife and explained that she knows what we are doing (and why) and is in agreement.  She is the only one who will miss him.

We then led him to our garage and placed him in the backseat of Carol's car.  We directed him to lie down and stay there.  We then drove to Carol's home, where we had prepared everything earlier that morning (while Barry thought I was out shopping).

Carol drove very carefully.  We each understood that it would be a disaster to be stopped by our local  police with a man in our back seat who was blindfolded and handcuffed.

When we arrived at Carol's home we drove into her garage, helped him out of her car, and led him into the house. Keeping him blindfolded, we led him into her bedroom.  It was obvious that he was disoriented.... and that is what we had hoped for. We then undressed him,down to his panties.  We had to take off the handcuffs, but we kept him blindfolded.  I made a point of telling Carol to dispose of his clothing, because he would not need them during his stay here with us. The look on his face was priceless.

Still blindfolded, but stripped down to only his panties.  Carol couldn't resist commenting about how cute they were on him and how much she loved the color pink on him.  We led him into Carol's master bathroom.  When she and her husband bought the home they completely remodeled it.  The master bath is amazing.  It is huge and contains a shower area that is completely open to the room, and allows for two people to shower at the same time.  It also includes fixed shower heads and removable heads that can be used wherever desired.

In the middle of this huge shower area, Carol had installed our handcuffs that use suction cups to mount to the walls.  We quickly put Barry into them, facing outward with his hands and arms extending outward to each side.  It was then that we took off his blindfold.  He had a good view of the entire room.  It was fun to watch him take in all of the things that we had arranged in the room.  There was a lot to observe.  However, his eyes went immediately to an enema bag hanging next to the shower.

Based on what I had seen in Barry's collection of photos on his PC, I was well aware of his fascination with enemas.  However, we had not really gone there (other than using Fleet bottles).  He quickly realized that we were going there.

At this point,Carol and I told Barry that we were going to prepare dinner.  We left him, handcuffed to the shower wall, enjoying (I hope) the view of lots of things we had arranged on the counter.  As a side note, he was still in his panties and in his cage. And, it was apparent that he was aroused and straining at the cage.  We left him there for a half hour, while we put a lasagna that Carol had prepared into the office and then changed into more appropriate clothing.

I wanted to dress in a way that would add to Barry's arousal, so I chose the bustier with garters, stockings and panties that I purchased and wore for our Christmas get-a-way.  Carol was more conservative and wore and exercise outfit consisting of tights and bra top.  When we returned, we began our fun with Barry.  Carol again  commented on his pink panties and how cute they were.  She also traced a line around his cage through them ... teasing him about the cage and asking him questions about why he was locked up.  I joined in the fun and showed Barry the key that his wife had given me earlier.  After removing his panties I unlocked him and removed the cage.  Carol and I then both marveled at how clean shaven he was from his waist to his knees.  Using our hands to check the smoothness, it didn't take long for Barry to become aroused again, which of course we teased him about.

We then explained some rules to him.  First, we made it clear that "we owned him" at this time and he is to do whatever we ask.  Second, since he seems to be so obsessed with spanking and sex, we intend to keep his bottom well spanked and his penis hard during this little "retreat".  However, he must not allow himself to climax unless we grant him permission.  Grabbing his scrotum, I informed him that he would be very sorry if he climaxes without permission.  I squeezed just hard enough to get his attention and cause him to wince.

Carol and I then decided that we liked the smooth look, so we would shave his entire torso.  Keeping him in the shower, we first used a small electric trimmer to remove the bulk of the hair, and then followed with shaving cream and a razor.  We didn't really need to shave his midsection, but we did anyway, because it was fun to do so.  I did his genitals, but allowed Carol to shave his bottom.  I especially wanted that shaved to increase its sensitivity to spanking!

When we were done, we rinsed Barry down with the handheld shower and turned him around so that he was facing the wall.  I then applied some after shave lotion to his bottom and we both began spanking his nice smooth bottom.  It didn't take long for our hands to bring some color to it.  We then
led Barry out of the shower and I suggested that Carol sit on the dressing stool and take Barry over her lap and continue to spank him.  While she did that, I began preparing the enema bag, which Barry couldn't help but see me doing.  Carol commented to Barry that she could feel him getting hard against her thigh, so he must be enjoying himself.  I also teased Barry a bit about whether I should use cold or warm water in the bag.  I ended up using luke warm water with a little bit of liquid hand soap.  When it was ready, I rehung the bag on the hook on the wall, which was within reach of Carol.  I then used my finger to put some lube in his anus and suggested that Carol administer the enema.  She did so and allowed the bag to slowly empty and periodically stopping it when Barry exhibited signs of cramps.  When it was finally empty, I handed Carol a large butt plug which I had lubed and suggested that she "put the plug in".  After doing so, we had Barry stand up so we could admire and massage his distended abdomen.  Our teasing brought a little life back to his now flacid penis.  We then put him back in the cuffs in the shower and left him there for a short time.

When we returned, it was clear that Barry was uncomfortable (and no sign of an erection).  We released him from the cuffs in the shower and instructed him to remove the plug over the toilet and expel the enema; and to not leave the bathroom until he was sure it was all out.  We explained that we would be in the kitchen having dinner and that he should reinsert the plug and come find us when he was done.

This post is getting much too long, I also must confess that I am exhausted.  So, this seems like a good place to stop.I will continue to share time and energy permits.


Friday, March 27, 2015

Barry's Birthday Role Play Takes Place Today

Barry doesn't know it yet, but in a little over an hour, he is going to get his birthday wish.  His birthday is next week, but this weekend provides a good time for Carol and me to enact his requested role play.  Carol has today and the weekend off from work.  She and I have been planning for almost three weeks now.  I decided to take Barry at his word that he wanted this to be a very realistic role play and not just a little fantasy.  At this point in our journey, I know I can trust his judgement.  I'm still not going to turn this into a major punishment session.  That is not what he requested.  But, he asked for realism, which is what Carol and I have planned.  He will be well spanked, but not to the degree that I consider punishment.  I want him to remain aroused, but still end up with a very sore and red bottom that he will remember for several days.  So, the spankings will not be harsh, but they will be frequent and  prolonged with lots and lots of sting!  I've purchased a couple of new paddles that are known for their sting.

Barry is at Home Depot right now, purchasing supplies for a major project he plans to start tomorrow.  However, when he comes home, he will see Carol's car in the garage in place of mine.  That should make him wonder.  It will eventually all make sense to him.

I drove my car to Carol's home shortly after Barry left for Home Depot and we returned in her car.  That has given us time to discuss our final plans.  Here is a summary of the role play we will enact to implement his request for a "9 to 5" type of scenario in which he is imprisoned and controlled by multiple women from his work.  We ended up deciding to make it a continuation of the "Corporate" Discipline role play we recently enacted.  It provides roles that we are each comfortable with, which we felt would be important.  She and I have had a lot of fun planning this together.  We also think we have come up with a very special birthday present for Barry.  It will be VERY realistic.  It will challenge him in some ways.  But, most importantly, we think he will really enjoy it.  That is our goal.  And, for those of you who keep recommending it, I have loosened up a bit about my control of Carol.  Her actions during the last scenario with Barry helped a lot to give me confidence to relax them.

So ... here is the Scenario:
Barry is a management employee and he has historically used his authority and power to force his female employees to submit to spanking and sex in order to keep their jobs.  I am his current assistant who turned the tables on him when he tried to spank me.  I gained control over him.  Carol is his former assistant who resigned rather than deal with his inappropriate behavior and management technique.  I brought her back into the picture in our last role play to help me deal with Barry's behavior.  I have also met Barry's wife and she knows what is going on.  She keeps him in a chastity device, but has given me an extra key to it.

As this role play begins, it is late Friday afternoon.  Carol and I will confront Barry in his office with our recently learned knowledge that since our last correctional meeting, he has attempted to force a female intern to submit to spanking and sex, which caused her to leave.  I will also share with him that I planted a video camera in his office, so I have videos of what he has done when he is alone there.  Finally, I will share with him that I had the opportunity to view his PC when he left the office unexpectedly one day last week.  What I found was shocking to me.  His collection of spanking and female submission porn was extensive.  I will let him know that I copied his porn files to a flash drive which I am very willing to share with upper management.  (Carol and I also plan to use these files during the role play)

So, when Barry arrives about a half hour from now, he will find Carol and I relaxing over a cup of tea.  I will greet him with "Happy Birthday" and suggest that he retire to the bedroom, put on appropriate office clothing, and go to his home office.  I will explain that it is late Friday afternoon and that Carol and I will join him in his office when we are ready to begin.  I will confirm with him that he wants this to be a realistic role play and not just a little fantasy fun.  The last thing I will share with him is that the scenario we are using is a continuation of our last role play.  That is all Barry will know about what will happen shortly

I think we will all enjoy what transpires, hopefully especially Barry.  I have slowly come to realize and understand how deep a submissive streak he has within him.


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Barry's Physical

Barry's annual physical was today.  And, all went well with respect to his health!!  Hooray!

Everything also went well with respect to the men's silk briefs we purchased for him to wear.  They were very "panty-like", but also clearly had a pouch for his manhood, which made him more comfortable.

Our doctor was also clearly wonderful.  She openly expressed how pleased she was that we came together and we talked about how important that was.  I was thrilled when she went through his lab results.  His total cholesterol is 125!  And the ratios are all good.  His diet and medications are working well after his heart attack.  His blood pressure is also very low.

When it came time for Barry to strip down, she very nicely acknowledged the fact that Barry was shaved.  She asked him if there had been any health issue, such as a rash, that caused him to shave.  I was very impressed that Barry had the comfort level to respond "No, I do it because it pleases my wife".  She quickly came back with "That is wonderful".  That exchange made both of us feel very comfortable and allowed me to open up more during the visit.  I was also not surprised by her sensitivity and caring approach, because I have had two previous visits with her.  I thought Barry would like her very much, and that exchange sealed the deal for him.

When she examined his penis and testicles, she asked him if he periodically examines them for abnormalities that could indicate cancer.  He replied that he doesn't and didn't know that he should.  Feeling comfortable, I piped up with "That's interesting, because I have always been advised to do self breast exams.  To my surprise, Barry chimed in with "Yes, and I've been helping her examine them for forty years".  That caused us all to chuckle and for me to say "Perhaps I can now begin to learn how to help Barry examine his testicles".  She agreed and gave us a very nice lesson with respect to how to roll each testicle between our thumb and forefinger, and what to look for.  The good news was also that everything seemed fine.

She then had Barry bend over the exam table so she could examine his prostate.  His PSA test had come back fine, but she took the time to explain the limitations and concerns about that test to both of us.  She was very gentle with Barry and explained to him that he might feel some discomfort.  I was then amazed at how she dove in with her finger.  I couldn't resist asking her if this was another exam that I should consider doing for Barry.  She very nicely explained that it really isn't necessary to do it that often and it takes more judgement than what lay folks normally can provide, but she also very nicely complemented me about wanting to be proactively involved.  She made us all feel comfortable.  She is a gift.

Barry and I had a nice lunch at a local restaurant after the appointment.  It was a nice opportunity for us to discuss his impressions of his new doctor and how things went.  He really liked her and felt very comfortable talking with her, which made me feel really good.  We were also very pleased with his lab results.  I have to confess that it has been difficult for me to live with the unknown after Barry's heart attack.  It is one of those things that you realize can strike at any time.  It is hard.  But, Barry has been wonderful in his rehab efforts and religiously following the advice of his cardiologist.


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Thank You Everyone

I want to express my sincere appreciation to all of my readers who shared their thoughts and advice with respect to Barry's upcoming physical (which is next week).  When I composed that post, I never dreamed that it would generate such an outpouring of heartfelt comments from your experiences in life.  It made me realize that there is a reason why I blog.  Thank you each and everyone.

I was also struck by the fact that so many of you offered your comments from your own perspective (which is where it has to come from), but also acknowledged in one way or another that Barry and I have to do what makes sense for us.

Although I shared a thank you in the comments of that post, I also wanted to compose this individual posting so that I could help make sure that each of you see it.  I also wanted to share with you Barry's and my decision, since your comments helped reach it.

First, regarding whether I accompany Barry to the doctor.  That wasn't really a big issue.  Barry and I have talked about it a lot in the past, especially during and since each of our major health issues last year.  We each want to be present with the other for all of the positive reasons offered.  The reason I mentioned it was because Barry was grumbling a bit about it at the time.  Looking back on it, I think that grumbling was caused by his concern about wearing panties. It was just another layer he could add to his complaint. When we finally sat down on Sunday night to really talk about both issues, he was very clear that we should both be there.

Wearing panties to his physical was definitely more of a concern to him.  I have come to understand and appreciate that.  Some of your comments raised the issue that if Barry is not comfortable in front of his doctor, he might not share things that are going on.  There is also the issue that this is the first time Barry will be seeing a female doctor, which adds another level.  So, when it came time to talk about this, I had a very different outlook.  I want Barry to get the best medical care he can, so I want him to feel comfortable with his physician.  That means no panties.  This process has also helped me understand that when I made the rule about only wearing panties, Barry and I were in a different place than we are now.  I was still dealing with his masturbation issues and was trying to gain control of some things.  We are well past that now.  The use of panties and Barry's chastity device have become symbols of his devotion (and submission, in some ways).  However, they are not critical in our relationship.  That made it easy for me to understand that I needed to relax the rule.

Barry actually likes wearing panties.  So, when we sat down to talk about what to do, he actually liked my idea of wearing men's silk or satin briefs that look and feel much like panties, but are a bit more "manly".  He would feel very comfortable wearing them, because they are designed for men, but also offer some of the things he likes about panties.

So, in the end, our decision was easy.

Thank you all, once again.  You are wonderful.


Friday, March 13, 2015

Annual Physicals

Barry has an annual physical scheduled before the end of the month.  He and I are currently discussing two issues with respect to that.  The first, and most significant, concerns whether or not I should go with him.  The second concerns panties.

Let's talk about the most significant first.  Given our age (low 60's), I feel it is important that we both go to each other's medical appointments.  I feel there is a need to have two sets of ears at these events.  Barry feels differently.  We have each had a major medical event in the last year and a half, which has made me more aware of this need.  During my situation, I was very glad to have Barry fully involved and helping me make decisions.  During Barry's event, which was much more acute, I had to be involved in making the decision of what to do because I have his medical power of attorney and he was incapacitated.  Both of these situations makes me more aware of the need to both be fully involved.  Due to the retirement of Barry's Primary Care Physician, he has now switched to my doctor, which to me, makes it even more logical that we both attend each other's doctor's appointments.

The second issue is really quite minor compared to the first.  Barry has been wearing only panties for two years now.  When he made the switch, we both agreed that he would discard all of his manly underwear (white briefs).  Last year was our first conflict about whether he should purchase some briefs.  Given my experience with my doctor, I didn't think it was issue.  She has me privately change into a dressing gown before she examines me, so she has no clue of my underwear.  Barry's doctor at that time operated differently.  He would have Barry strip to his underwear and then lower them for a more personal examination.  I eventually learned that Barry purchased men's underwear to wear to that exam.  They have since been discarded.  Since Barry will now see my physician, I don't see it as an issue.  However, he does.  I think a good compromise is for Barry to wear a pair of men's silk or satin briefs.  I have even ordered a pair of men's silk undereweaer on line for him.  But he is still concerned.  He's not convinced that she will treat him the same way as she does me.  I think he is also have some apprehension about seeing a female doctor (this is a first for him).

As a compromise, Barry has agreed to abide by the thoughts of my blog readers.  He has also read this message and feels that I have accurately portrayed the situation.

Please share your thoughts about both issues:

  • should I attend Barry's physical?
  • should Barry wear men's silk underwear that I purchased or traditional men's white briefs to the physical?


Monday, March 9, 2015

An Evening with Carol

We invited Carol to join us for a soup, salad, and bread supper last night.  I thought it would be a good time to share Barry's idea for his birthday role play with her.  It turned out to be a much more interesting evening than I would have every imagined.

I opened the conversation by sharing that Barry has requested a new role play as a special treat for his upcoming birthday.  Carol perked up and said "That sounds like fun.  What is the role play?".  I suggested that Barry should explain it.  He immediately began to blush a bit, but jumped right in and began explaining his idea of enacting a variation of "Nine to Five" where the two of us would imprison him for a lengthy period of time, during which we would sexually tease and punish him for his behavior with women in the office.  She immediately loved the idea and shared that she had lots of creative ideas for things we could do.  She then turned to Barry and said "May I ask you a very serious and important question?".   Barry responded that of course she could.  She then asked, "Is this something that you envision purely as a nice little fantasy, or do you envision the role play to contain some significant reality to it?"  Barry immediately responded that he wants it to contain significant reality.  He explained that this has been one of his favorite fantasies for a long time and that he would like to really be subjected to the control of two women and held accountable.  I couldn't help but blurt out "Be careful what you ask for!".

Further conversation revealed that Barry was very serious with his reply, so Carol and I said that we would take him at his word and begin preparing a special time for the three of us to properly carry out his fantasy. I then told Barry that I wanted him to begin preparing for the role play immediately by being locked up until the event.  I asked him to get his chastity device and bring it to me.  When he returned to the living room, I installed and locked it while Carol looked on with amusement.  I explained to Barry and Carol that I wanted him to be extremely horny by the time we do the role play and that keeping him under lock and key would assure that to be the case.  Barry suddenly realized that his birthday is still several weeks away and began to protest.  I simply reminded him that I had warned him to be careful what he asked for.

Carol then turned the thrust of the conversation to asking  us a lot of questions about Barry and I spanking each other, especially with respect to discipline or punishment.  It was clear that she was going somewhere with this line of questioning, but I didn't know where.  I finally asked her why she was so interested in how we spanked on those occasions and how we felt about being spanked as a punishment, etc.  She finally got to the point and shared that she is very intrigued about punishment spankings and would like to experience what one feels like.  She even went so far as to say that ever since she helped me spank Barry the other evening, she feels like she needs to know what a spanking feels like in order to understand how to spank him.  She then asked if I would give her a very sound spanking.  After a little further discussion, I agreed.  I asked Barry to fetch my hairbrush while I brought a dining room chair into the living room.  When Barry returned with the brush, I suggested that he excuse himself.  But Carol immediately said that wouldn't be necessary, as long as she was allowed to keep her panties on.  She added that since she has been part of Barry's spankings, it is only fair that he get to watch her receive one.   I looked at Carol and then at Barry, and decided to agree.

Barry took a seat on the sofa facing the dining room chair I had placed in the middle of the room.  After asking Carol if she really wanted to do this, I sat down and took her over my lap.  She was wearing a pair of tailored slacks.  I first began to spank her with my hand to provide a good warmup before getting more serious.  After about ten minutes she began to squirm a little, but it was clear that I needed to take things up a notch.  I asked her to stand and lower her slacks, which revealed pantyhose over her panties.  I then continued with the handspanking and eventually started using the brush.  I didn't use it hard at that time, but let the weight of the brush do the work.  It was clear that I was now getting her attention and she was starting react.  At this point I stopped and told her that the next level would be more serious and would reach what could be considered to be punishment.  I asked if she wanted to continue.  "OK", I said.  "This next phase will not be enjoyable for you, but I'll do it because you asked."  I then had her lower her pantyhose, but left her panties in place.  Once back over my knee I used the hairbrush with more vigor.  It didn't take long for her to really begin to react.  One hand came back, so I held it in place.  As she tried to wriggle off my lap, I used a leg to clamp her in place. When I was done, she was quietly sobbing as she lay limp across my lap.

After she stood up and pulled up her pantyhose and slacks, she also regained her composure.  We then sat down to talk about what had happened.  The experience was much more intense then she expected, but she was glad she had endured it.  At this point she also confessed that she has had fantasies about being spanked, which was part of why she asked for one.  She also admitted that reality was very different than fantasy.  She kept repeating, "Oh my God, I never realized how much it can hurt."

After a glass of wine, Carol thanked me again and we agreed that we needed to get together to plan Barry's next role play.  She again reminded me that she has some creative ideas that she would like me to consider.

Barry was very quiet during Carol's spanking and during the discussion.  When we got ready for bed, it was quite evident that watching the spanking had been arousing to him, even while being locked in his device.  The wide-spread wet spot on the front of his panties allowed no hiding the fact that a significant amount of precum had been generated.  When I commented about it, his only comment was "How could I not have been excited by it.  Your sister is quite amazing."  I had to agree, but didn't openly say so to Barry.

The next few weeks will be interesting with Barry locked up in preparation for his role play.  I plan to keep him well teased during this time.  His special birthday gift will be special because he will have kept me well pleased and be extremely ready to receive pleasure ... under my terms.  That sounds harsher than I mean it to sound.  I think it will make the role play even more special to him.


Saturday, March 7, 2015

Benefits of Devotional Sex Revisited

I have recently been having an email dialogue with a woman who lives just outside New York City.  Her husband and Barry have some common interests: spanking and masturbation.  Consequently, we have been sharing a good bit about them, as well as how we deal with them  As part of the discussion, I have raised a little bit about the impact of Devotional Sex on Barry's and my marriage.  I've realized that I probably need to tell her more, so I've decided to share my thoughts about the benefits of Devotional Sex a bit more publicly through this blog.

Devotional Sex, has had a huge impact upon our life.  Before we discovered it, Barry was addicted to masturbation to a point that he couldn't 'perform' in a normal sex situation with me.  That is when I learned to administer disciplinary spankings, because I was so frustrated with him.  That discipline had some impact on him, but I believe that Devotional Sex had more.  We still do a lot of spanking, because we each have learned to love giving and receiving erotic/fun spankings.  However, the need for purely disciplinary spanking of Barry is almost nonexistent at this time. When the need for disciplinary spanking occurs (and we each occasionally need it) it is for a good reason.  And when we each do it, it works.

As we explored and learned to practice aspects of Devotional Sex (DS), we learned how important it is to please each other.  As an example, prior to practicing DS, I was resentful of Barry's kinky needs and I had a very hard time wanting to fulfill them.  When we had intercourse, he goal was to climax.  He had little concern for whether or not my needs were fulfilled.  It is completely different now.  We have each learned to focus on pleasing the other.  I believe that the reason we learned that is because we each found that pleasing our partner made our partner want to please us.  That is a wonderful, positive cycle.  I also learned that by controlling Barry's orgasms, I ended up being even more desirable to him.  I still don't completely understand why that is.  But, I know that it works.  Perhaps it is because Barry loves 'tease and denial'.  I don't know.  But, I do know that Barry now wants to please me because he has learned that by doing so, I want to please him.  And, because I want to do that, he understands when I say "No, not tonight", it is OK.  It may happen the next night.  He knows it will happen at an appropriate time because I want to please him.

Another good example of the power of DS concerns how Barry has learned to manage his addiction to masturbation.  When we started, he couldn't control the urge, even with the threat of disciplinary spanking.  Because of that, he asked me to lock him in a chastity device when we were going to be separated.  Now, he seldom asks me to lock him up.  However, he frequently wears the device without a lock.  From what he has shared with me, I have come to the conclusion that he does so because wearing the cage creates an awareness to him that he wants to wait for when we can make love together.  That makes me love to see him wearing the cage.  There are also times when I like to lock him up as a tease.  He knows he will eventually get what he wants, but he doesn't know when.  We each seem to benefit from my having that control ... and I can't completely explain it.  I've given up trying.

I realize that I've rambled a bit, and I apologize.  However, I hope that my ramblings have communicated how beneficial DS has been in our lives.  I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it has been a blessing to us.


Thursday, March 5, 2015

Barry's Birthday Request

Barry has a major birthday coming up.  In preparation for how to celebrate it, I asked him how he would like to celebrate it.  I was thinking in terms of celebrating with friends and family.  Barry and I are both not big party people, but I wanted to make sure he didn't want me to throw a party.  Much to my surprise, Barry answered from a very different perspective.  He was thinking of sex!  He immediately shared that he would love to have another role play with me and Carol.    I quickly shifted my thought process and asked him if he had something in mind (knowing that he must).  Our discussion led to him sharing another of his long term fantasies.  He shared that he has always fantasized about a scenario which originated from the "Nine to Five" movie in which female employees imprison their boss.  He has obviously been thinking about this more ever since we started our recent series of role plays.  He shared that he would love to experience a lengthy role play scenario in which Carol and I imprison him and sexually  tease him, as well as punish him.

After I got over the surprise of his proposal, I have started to pursue his suggestion with Carol.  I'm not sure where this will lead,


Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Several readers have asked questions about Carol in their comments or emails sent to me.  Carol is my youngest sister and is in her early fifties.  She is eight years younger than me and was always very much a free spirit.  As the youngest of five children, she also received the least amount of parental supervision of any of us and had the least expectations put on her.  Due to our age difference, we were not very close growing up.  After all, I was off to the university before Carol was in Junior High School.  However, after Barry and I moved back to the midwest a bit ago, she and I have become very close.  She is the only family member I have in this area at this time and she went through a major tragedy in her life shortly before we moved here.  Her husband of almost twenty five years tragically died of cancer.  It has been very good to be living so close to her at this time and very special that we have become so close at this stage of our lives.


Monday, February 23, 2015

Debriefing with Carol and Barry

After our last role playing session, Carol, Barry, and I returned to the living room, lit a fire in the fire place and had a glass of wine while we took time to discuss our time together in Barry's office.  I knew by the broad smile on Barry's face that he had thoroughly enjoyed the entire scene.  He spoke first and shared that he loved the way Carol and I worked together and that his fantasy was wonderfully fulfilled.  When I probed him about whether he experienced embarrassment or humiliation, he shared that he was definitely embarrassed much of the time.  However, he never felt humiliated or degraded in any way.

Carol also acknowledged that she thoroughly enjoyed herself.  She was amazed at the relationship that Barry and I have with respect to experimenting with our kinky fantasies and she was impressed with how at ease Barry was with her present.  She also shared that she would be very interested in learning more about our activities if and when we feel comfortable sharing more.  She explained that she had always wished that she and her husband could have experienced a relationship like this.

Carol also commented that she was quite amazed at the fact that Barry maintained an erection throughout most of the spanking he received prior to having an orgasm.  She also was amazed that Barry still seemed to somewhat enjoy the spanking even after his orgasm.

From my perspective, I shared that I didn't think the evening could have gone any better.  I loved working with Carol and I shared my appreciation with her for following my ground rules and not over stepping any boundaries.  I also felt she picked up the fine nuances of spanking at an appropriate level of severity very quickly (and Barry agreed).

In the end, we were all in agreement that it was a fun role play and that we would all be comfortable doing something similar again in the future.

After Carol left, Barry and I retired to the bedroom where he very quickly demonstrated his devotion and appreciation to me for the entire evening.  I have never seen him quite so anxious to get his head between my legs and such enthusiasm for pleasing me.  It was a good night for both of us :-).


Friday, February 20, 2015

Extension of First Role Play - "Corporate" Discipline

Our extended role play using our "Corporate" Discipline scenario took place Tuesday night.  I apologize for taking so long to create a post describing what happened.  Part of the delay was due to the fact that I decided that Barry needed to become more involved in this blog.  When I asked how he thought he would like to be involved, he suggested that he could add photos to my posts, and he has done so with this one.  I actually think that he quite enjoyed doing this.

I didn't tell Barry when it was going to happen until we sat down for lunch that day.  I wanted the timing to be somewhat of a surprise.  I announced to him that Carol was coming over for dinner.  He immediately perked up and said, "And ...?"  I then shared with him that after dinner we would continue our role play, with Carol playing the role of his previous secretary.  It quickly became obvious that he was pleased and very excited.

During the afternoon I laid out his best suit again and suggested that he should wear it.  I knew he would.  I also told him that he could choose what he would like to wear under it.  Knowing that he no longer owns any male underwear, I knew it would be panties, but I wanted him to have the freedom to decide how far to go (or not go) with respect to what type and whether or not to wear anything else.

Carol arrived around 5 PM and we enjoyed a light dinner together.  We were each dressed for the role play and it was clear that Barry and Carol were both anticipating what was to come.  I knew that Barry couldn't wait and that Carol would have loved to start asking him questions.  However, they each restrained themselves.  The level of anticipation was high, which was what I had hoped for.

When the kitchen was almost cleaned up, I suggested to Barry that he move into his office and prepare to be leaving for home at the end of the work day.  A short time later, I walked into his office and announced to him that I hoped he didn't mind staying a bit late tonight so that we could continue his discipline.  He acted appropriately unhappy and tried to weasel out of staying late, claiming that he and his wife had plans for the evening.  I immediately called him up short on that, explaining that his wife had joined me for lunch the previous day and that she knew about my plans for tonight.  I also shared with him that she and I had enjoyed each other very much, and that she now knew all about what he had been doing at work and supported how I was handling things.  I then asked him to look in the left hand pocket of his suit coat and give me whatever he found in it.  He reached in and pulled out a small white envelope, which he handed to me.  "Lovely", I said.  "She promised to send me this little gift when we talked yesterday".  I then opened the envelope and showed him its contents.  It was the spare key to the lock on his chastity device! "She and decided that we should each hold a key to your cage", I declared.  "Isn't that convenient for our meeting tonight? "

I could tell that this caught Barry by surprise.  And, I knew he would also be surprised by  what Carol and I had planned for him.  About that time there was a knock on the office door.  I suggested to Barry that he should see who is there.  When he opened the door, he acted appropriately surprised to see Carol.  He started to tell her she is no longer welcome in the building since she resigned.  However, I intervened and explained to Barry that I had invited Carol to join us for his disciplinary session tonight.  "After all", I said, "I think she has earned the right to be part of your discipline and it is appropriate that she achieve a little revenge for what you put her through."  Carol quickly agreed and walked into the office with an air of authority.

Carol and I each sat in a chair at a table in Barry's office and I directed
Barry to come stand in front of us.  I then ordered him to remove his coat, tie, shirt, and trousers.  After some feeble attempts to protest, he began to slowly comply.  I eventually became impatient with his progress and decided to add to his embarrassment by removing his pants for him.  Out of the corner of my eye,  I could see Carol's amusement at what was happening.  She was taking it all in.  When I dropped his trousers, Carol was surprised to see him dressed in garter belt, stockings, and panties; and even more surprised when she realized to see the outline of the chastity cage through his panties.  I had not shared that detail about our relationship with her.

"Doesn't he look darling in his female underthings?", I asked her.  "And, don't you just love the fact that he is locked up?", I added as I stood up and grabbed his crotch.  "Why don't you tell Carol and me why your wife has you locked up Barry?".  Barry began to stammer a bit and finally said something about her liking to control his orgasms.  At that point I chimed in and said "Don't you mean that she wants to control your addiction to masturbation?".  I then explained to Barry and Carol that I had lunch with his wife the previous, during which she shared with me how much Barry likes to masturbate and to wear feminine undergarments.  Barry immediately became embarrassed and began to blush.  "She has also provided me with the key to Barry's device", I added.  "Come over to me Barry and let's make sure this key works.  I then unlocked his device and slowly removed it.  As I did so, Barry immediately began to get hard as I handled his genitals.  "Why don't you go over and show Carol how nicely shaved you are Barry".   Sheepishly, he did so and Carol admired how clean and smooth he looked as she rubbed his bottom.  I was glad to see that she remembered the rule that she is not to touch his genitals.

In response, I commented "I learned quite a lot from Barry's wife yesterday."  I then explained to Carol that Barry's wife requires him to keep himself shaved from waist to upper thighs and that he does not own any traditional men's underwear.  All he owns are panties.  I also explained that Barry has a serious panty and spanking fetish.  He not only loves to administer spankings to women (as Carol and I already knew), but his wife shared with me that Barry loves to be spanked! .

I then decided to put my plans for this session into action.  I began by makingBarry stand in front of us.  I then began to lightly tease his penis.  He was so excited that it didn't take much to have him squirming in front of us. Carol was quite intrigued by what I did and added verbal comments to tease Barry as well.  It would have been easy to bring Barry to an orgasm, but that was clearly not going to happen.  Instead, I brought him to the edge of a climax several times and then left him hanging.

What happened next was a fulfillment of Barry's long desired fantasy ... being spanked over the laps of two women at the same time.  This would be the first of two sessions over both of our laps.  I am right handed and Carol is left.  So, we positioned ourselves in two chairs facing each other so that we could turn Barry over our laps and each spank with our dominant hands.  For this initial spanking, we each used our bare hands over his bare bottom.  We also took time to gently massage his cheeks as we warmed them up.  I also made sure that I took the opportunity to tease his testicles from time to time.  Since his penis was lying on my right thigh, I could easily tell that he was extremely aroused.  When we let him stand up, I couldn't resist teasing him about his erection and scolding him for allowing it to make a mess on my skirt from his precum.

We then took our time in making Barry assume different positions bending over the desk or kneeling on it as we spanked him with different implements.  It became a bit of a training session for me to help Carol learn how to spank at different levels of intensity that would keep him aroused, but keep adding redness to his cheeks.  Carol was also quite intrigued by how hard Barry stayed during most of the spankings.  At one point she called him a little spanking slut.  While Barry was kneeling on the desk for one of his spankings, I also brought out his collection of toys and panties from his desk drawer and showed them to Carol.  We made Barry explain why he the Hitachi vibrator and penis shaped butt plug in the drawer.

We then moved to the final stages of my plans.  I  informed Barry that since he loves to masturbate, he would now do so in front of Carol and me.  I also added that since he loves panties so much, he would do so using his panties. I then pulled out my smart phone and advised him that I was going to time him.  I explained that if he reached an orgasm within three minutes, his disciplinary session would be over.  I then added that if he was not successful I would use his Hitachi vibrator to finish the job for him and that he would then go back over Carol's and my laps together and we would take hairbrushes to him.

This took Barry quite by surprise.  He didn't come close to orgasm in three minutes, which didn't surprise me.  I knew he wouldn't be able to resist having me use the Hitachi on him or going back over our laps (even though it would be after an orgasm).  When the timer rang on my phone, I picked up the vibrator and plugged it in.  I made Barry continue to use the panties on this erection, but I added the vibrator.  In a matter of less than a minute he started to climax, at which time I immediately shut off the vibrator.  The look of surprise and disappointment on his face was priceless.  "You didn't think I was going provide you an enjoyable orgasm, did you?" I commented.  I could tell that Carol was also surprised by what I did.  I later learned that she was not familiar with the concept of a ruined orgasm.

After Barry cleaned himself up with the panties, Carol and I each took a hairbrush in hand, sat down facing each other, and turned Barry over our laps again.  We then administered a much harder spanking.   Sometimes Carol and I alternated spanks.  Sometimes we spanked both cheeks simultaneously.  And, for a short time I used my brush on Barry's upper thighs, while Carol worked on his cheeks.  When we finally stopped, I could tell that Barry was relieved to have it over.  This time there had been no erection pressing into my thigh.

The three of us then returned to the living room where we lit a fire in the fireplace and took some time to debrief with each other about what had happened.  Since this post is already quite lengthy, I'll save that information for my next post.  However, the bottom line was that all three of us enjoyed the evening.


PS  I would like to express my appreciation to all who offered comments and advice at the end of my last post.  Your caring and thoughts about making sure we would be OK with adding Carol to the role play was very kind and helpful.

PPS I think Barry did a wonderful job with the photos he inserted.  I hope you agree.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Planning for the Next Installment of "Corporate" Discipline

After Barry shared his decision to go forward with incorporating my sister, Carol, into our "Corporate" Discipline roleplay, we spent some more time talking about his desire for this type of fantasy, and discussing his definitions of embarrassment versus humiliation.  Embarrassment is a significant part of his fantasy, but humiliation is definitely not part of what either of us are comfortable with.  In trying to understand his definitions, I finally ended up listing a number of activities and asking Barry whether he would consider them embarrassing or humiliating.   The types of things on the list included:

  • being spanked in front of Carol over his panties or on the bare
  • being spanked by Carol over his panties or on the bare
  • having his genitals exposed to Carol
  • being sexually teased and denied in front of Carol
  • being brought to orgasm with a vibrator in front of Carol
  • experiencing a ruined orgasm in front of Carol
  • being required to masturbate in front of Carol
  • being fed his own cum in front of Carol
  • having a butt plug inserted in front of Carol
  • being pegged in front of Carol
I'm not comfortable with some of these items, but I was trying to provide Barry with a broad spectrum to help me better understand his limits.  When we were done talking, I felt quite comfortable that I know what he would consider to be humiliating, so I can be sure to not go there.

Yesterday I had Carol over to the house for lunch and we had chance to have a lengthy discussion about her potential participation in our little role play scene.  She was not surprised by the topic and was actually quite intrigued by it.  I think I may have mentioned before that Carol is quite a few years younger than me and has always been less sexually inhibited than I used to be.  The more we talked about the "Corporate" Discipline scenario, the more interested she became.  She was also very interested in learning Barry's feelings about her being involved.  And, she completely understood and agreed with the ground rules that I presented, which included:
  • Carol will follow my lead direction at all times
  • Carol will not directly initiate any activity (she can propose something to me during the role play, but must not initiate it unless I concur)
  • Carol will serve as a witness and will actively participate only when directed to do so
  • Carol will not touch Barry's genital area at any time
  • Carol will participate in spanking and paddling Barry, but will follow my lead and direction with respect to severity
I also shared with Carol some of my current thoughts concerning where I will take this segment of the roleplay and she seemed to like my ideas.  She also shared a couple of her ideas, which I am seriously considering.  In the end, we both felt quite comfortable with the entire idea and came up with a possible evening this week when we can make it happen.  

It is clear that Carol will be a very different participant than was Barry's sister a couple of years ago.  It is also clear that Barry will be in for one or two surprises.