Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My First Erotic Spanking

Ever since I started this blog, Barry has periodically talked about his desire to erotically spank me.  He knows I won't accept a punishment spanking from him, but he has wanted to spank me in a very pleasurable way.  I have always declined, but I think he could always tell that their has been some intrigue there for me.  He has also always promised that he will only use his hand lightly; and that all I have to do is say "Stop" if I don't find it enjoyable.  Well, I finally gave in on Saturday evening and received my first erotic spanking.  And ... I absolutely loved it.  I have debated whether I should share this with my readers (and if so, how many details to share); and I finally decided that I need to do so.  To not do so would violate my goal of honestly sharing the journey that Barry and I are experiencing.

The past weekend was planned to be special for Barry and me.  We have always had a tradition of trying to have everything ready for Christmas prior to the last weekend before Christmas, so we can just relax and enjoy time with family and the true meaning of Christmas.  Since our children have lived independently from us, we have established an incentive to achieve this goal by providing a reward for ourselves when we do.  If all preparations are completed, we spend that last weekend staying in a private cottage at a country inn that we both enjoy.  The cottages are never filled that weekend, so we can always make last minute reservations.  Since we have been on our current journey, this weekend has been even more special, since we know we will have a very private playroom where noise from our fun will not be an issue.  And, I don't know why, but 'playing' when we are away from home is always much more erotic and exciting than it is at home.

We did exactly that this past Saturday night.  We spent Saturday enjoying the day as we traveled to the inn. We checked in about 4 PM and made dinner reservations for 7 PM, knowing that we would want some special time to play after dinner.  I had packed two of Barry's favorite spanking toys (our 18" ruler and the paddle ball paddle).  I also packed special lingerie for Barry and I to wear to dinner.

Shortly after six we decided to begin getting ready and ended up in the shower together, which we each always enjoy.  When we emerged we had fun dressing each other.  I helped Barry get into a sexy pair of sheer panties after I placed the remote controlled vibrating ring at the base of his arroused penis and teased him about how much fun it was going to be to keep him arroused during dinner.  He loved helping me with my garter belt and stockings and a matching shelf bra/panty set, before I put on his favorite little black dress.

Dinner was completely enjoyable in a very quiet inn dining room.  I had a lot of fun playing with the remote control and Barry was obviously arroused the entire time.  That also kept me very excited.  We walked back to our cabin about 9 PM and Barry lit a fire in our fireplace, while I turned down the bed, poured us some wine, and laid out a few toys.

After we enjoyed a few sips of wine, I took Barry by the hand and brought him to his feet.  I then began undressing him down to his panties before sitting on the side of the bed and taking him over my lap.  I made sure he was nicely comfortable as I lightly rubbed and teased his bottom and scrotal area.  I then began to gently, but firmly spank him.  I took my time to rub his bottom and sexually tease him in between sets of smacks and the two paddles I had brought.  I wanted him to thoroughly enjoy this spanking.   I must have kept him over my lap for at least a 1/2 hour and by the time I was done I was spanking him quite hard and his bottom was a lovely shade of red.  When spanked in a playful way like that, Barry can take a fairly hard spanking and still stay arroused.  When I had him stand up, I realized that I had made a mistake by not taking off my dress, since Barry is very much an "oozer" when arroused.  However, the cleaning bill will be well worth the fun we had.

Barry then brought me to my feet so that we could hug and kiss a bit, at the end of which he lowered his hands to squeeze my bottom and whispered in my ear "Now it's your turn".  When I started to quietly resist, he said that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer and reminded me that all I had to do was say "Stop" if I didn't enjoy it.  I don't know whether it was the wine, the romantic location with fire, Barry's gentleness and persistance, or a combination of all of that (and maybe some other factors);  but all resistance left me at that moment.  I looked him in the eyes and smiled as I said "Be gentle and make sure I like it, because if I have to say 'stop', it will spoil this evening".

Barry then helped me remove my dress before he sat on the bed and gently drew me over his lap.  He placed a pillow under my head and took time to make sure I was comfortable.  He told me that he wanted to make sure I could just concentrate on what his hands were doing and asked me to just relax in the moment.  His hands began to roam:  his left hand over my panty covered bottom; his right hand on the backs of and between my thighs.  I have to confess that I clearly remember blatantly spreading my legs to give him better access.  He eventually began to lightly spank me with his left hand, while his right hand continued to tease my thighs and above. 

At some point the spanking came from his right hand while his left hand rubbed my back. Also, I vaguely remember feeling him lower my panties to somewhere down my thighs and felt his fingers doing heavenly things while he continued to spank me with the other hand.  Somehow it seemed like he had four hands and they were all doing things that seemed very pleasurable.  I also vaguely remember feeling the pressure of his penis on my belly, so I was cognizant of him be arroused as well. 

Again, it may have been the wine, but I felt completely relaxed and was totally enjoying the moment.  I had no idea how long I was over his lap (he later told me it was almost 45 minutes).  However, I do remember him saying "I'd like to give you ten harder spanks.  Do you think you'd like that?", to which I replied without thinking "Please do".  And he did.  They were somewhat harder and more rapid, but still very pleasant.  Then, I just laid there until Barry began to move me into lovemaking positions.  I'm not going to share those details.  All I need to share is that we had a heavenly time together with no inhibitions; and Barry tells me it was midnight when we stopped. 

I am still trying to understand my reaction to being spanked.  I knew that the thought of being gently spanked was intriguing to me prior to Saturday night.  However, I never expected the intensity of the reaction that I had.  Somehow the sensations of all that Barry was doing with his hands were transmitted to the heart of my sexual being.  I also never dreamed that Barry would know how to spank me in that way.  This was one of those wonderful surprises on our journey.  I don't know where it will lead us at this time.  However, it feels amazingly beautiful.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to each of you.  Our family will be arriving tomorrow and we will be busy for the next two weeks.  May each of you enjoy peace and joy in whatever beliefs or traditions you honor at this time of year.


PS - I couldn't resist including the above photos from Barry's collection.  Somehow, they seem to capture my mood and what I was feeling on Saturday evening with respect to the erotic spanking.  I only wish I was that young again :-).

Saturday, December 11, 2010

An Amazing Journey

I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since I've had chance to post.  This month just seems chaotic with all of the necessary Christmas preparations and work obligations.  Barry and I haven't even had much chance to enjoy special time together, which is frustrating to both of us.

However, last night we enjoyed a lengthy conversation over dinner (and a couple glasses of wine) about what an amazing journey we have been experiencing.  What really struck each of us is how much I have changed and how much I enjoy this new life.  It is also hard to believe that it has been over three years since Barry and I started this journey.  It didn't seem like I was making any major changes.  However, the cumulative effect of many individual changes is amazaing.  Barry has also undergone a significant number of changes, but that should be held for a separate blog entry.

Following are some of the differences that we each noticed in my behavior and my outlook on our sexual relationship.

Prior to learning that Barry was totally immersed in his fantasies and was masturbating daily rather than making love with me, I was very content with our very vanilla sex life.  I was completely satisfied with our almost exclusive use of the missionary position with Barry in control of both of our abilities to orgasm (I almost never did).  I hated the doggy and cowgirl positions which Barry periodically asked me to use (probably because the names he used for them didn't seem very romantic or lady-like).  Although I was willing to try it one time, I really hated the thoughts of giving oral stimulation to Barry (I hated it when he called it a blowjob).  I also really didn't enjoy handling Barry's genitals or looking at them.  And, I even didn't enjoy it when Barry wanted to orally stimulate me.  He could easily sense that, so he stopped trying to please me that way.  As you can imagine from the above confessions, our sexual activity was bland and boring.  That was primarily due to my unwillingness to be open to or try anything that I considered to be "dirty".

However, once I realized that our sex life was a disaster and agreed to try some new things with Barry (starting with spanking him), I found out that many of the things I previously hated were thoroughly enjoyable for both of us.  I think the photo collections he had also helped show me that the things he wanted to try weren't dirty, but were erotic.  Most of his photos don't look like pornography, but have an erotic nature to them.  These changes didn't happen to me overnight.  But they did slowly happen. 

The first major hurdle was being willing and able to spank him.  That was completely foreign to me.  I couldn't imagine inflicting pain on him.  However, as I learned that he enjoyed and craved a significant level of pain from spanking, I was able and willing to do that.  I also learned that a severe punishment spanking was a way of correcting some of his behaviors that were unacceptable to me.  However, I still find it difficult and unpleasant to administer a severe discipline spanking to him.  I know that it works and that he accepts me doing that, but it is not fun for either of us.  I would much rather spank him at a level that allows him to remain erect (which involves a pretty significant spanking for him).  I would also find other ways to discipline him and change his behavior.  I have had some success with that.

I now like to control our sexual activity and we seldom use missionary.  I love to ride Barry (I still don't call it 'cowgirl') because it gives me the control of each of our pleasure.  I even occasionally have him take me from behind, but we don't refer to it as 'doggy'.  It gives him more control, which is a gift I am willing to give sometimes.  It also seems to provide deeper penetration and he provides a pleasure I don't feel in other positions.  I also now enjoy providing and receiving oral stimulation.  However, I still hate the term 'blowjob' and I won't bring him to orgasm with my mouth.  I just love to orally stimulate and tease him.  I also love to tease him with my genitals close to his face, since it raises his excitement level.

Another major area of change is my willingness to wear sexy lingerie.  Barry has always wanted me to wear garters and stockings and sensual bra/panty sets.  However, I was previously stuck in granny wear.  I now love to dress up for him, especially at home.  I'm also getting braver when we go out, as long as we are going someplace where we won't run into someone we know.  It is also a very effective way of keeping his undivided attention on me.
Shaving Barry and putting him in stockings and panties is also a huge change.  Four years ago I would have thought that was sick.  I didn't even enjoy seeing him naked.  Now I love to see and touch his smooth genitals and to encase them in sheer nylon.  I also now love teasing and playing with his genitals.  I think that keeping him shaved has played a huge role in changing my interests in this area.
Four years ago I didn't even feel comfortable talking with Barry about sexual interests, let alone sharing the things I've written above.  I still can't talk about these things with anyone but Barry or in this blog that is read by people I don't know.  However, this blog has been a huge change for me.  I want to express my appreciation to each of you who have openly accepted what I have shared without judgement and have encouraged me by seeing value in my sharing.  Without that acceptance and encouragement, I would not be doing this.

There are still things I have no interest in doing (and may never have any interest in them).  However, that doesn't stop Barry from occasionally raising a new interest that excites him.  I also now raise some interests with Barry.  Some things I am willing to talk about and try.  Some things are still very taboo in my mind and I can't go there.  However, the important thing is that we talk about them.  I am willing to draw a line when I need to do so, and Barry is accepting of that.  He knows when not to push something.
I am hopeful that he and I will continue to grow together as we explore new areas of interest.  I also hope to be able to continue to share more about how we are doing that through this blog.

Thank you everyone.