Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Barry's Involvement

I am thrilled with Barry's willingness to join me in this blog.  I hope you have enjoyed his first two posts. Each of them were a complete surprise to me, and were written and posted without my review.  I must share that we were sitting together a few moments ago when we read a comment about whether I tortured him or punished him when I was upset.  He immediately logged in and replied without even asking me what I thought.  I must confess that I was very moved by his defensiveness.

I also need to share my perspective.  I could never torture anyone.  It is very difficult for me to administer a punishment spanking to Barry.  However, I have come to realize that he sometimes needs and wants to receive one.  Is it painful to him?  YES  Does he want it?  YES  Would I stop if I thought he really wanted me to do so?  ABSOLUTELY YES.  I think Barry expressed it best when he said that everything we do is consensual.  That is why I also allow him to erotically spank me.


PS ... Barry asked an interesting question about whether a response to a comment should be considered a "Post" with respect to earning a reward or being punished.  I have mixed emotions. What do the readers of this blog think?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Where is the Dom/sub Dynamic

The first comment I received from my initial post contained the following two questions:

- You spank each other?
- Where is the dom sub dynamic in this?

I thought they were a good pair of questions, so it will be the topic of this post.

Yes, we do spank each other, but in very different ways. The spankings that Susan allows me to give her are purely erotic and are for enjoyment only. They are light, with my hand, and have lots of rubbing and light touching intermixed. Her bottom colors easily, so it does get pink. But her reactions during these spankings are pleasure and there is never any unwanted pain involved. It is all erotic for her.

Susan spanks me in two very different ways. One we call "Fun" spankings and the other we call "Punishment". I enjoy the first type, even though it often contains some pretty hard spanking and a significant level of pain. She starts them with a warm-up period, which allows me to enjoy them more. I can then tolerate a fair amount and I am usually still arroused at the end of the "Fun" spankings.

The "Punishment" spankings are a very different matter. When she punishes, Susan means business. I may begin in a state of arrousal, but she doesnt provide any warm-up. Because of that it normally only takes 10 to 12 hard swats before my arrousal twindles. When she is done, I am hanging on for dear life.

As far as the dom/sub dynamic goes, since we began this life style, Susan has taken charge of a number of things in my life:
  • I can't surf any porn sites on the PC without her being present.
  • I can't masturbate unless she requests me to do so.
  • She controls if, when, and how I cum when we have sex. Most times I am on my back on the bed with my hands and feet secured to the bed post. This leaves me completely exposed and submissive to anything she wants to do. It allows her to sexually tease me for long periods of time, afterwhich I may or may not get to cum. It also allows her easy access to present herself for oral pleasure.

I guess our dom/sub dynamic is not the typical one that people who are heavily involved in dominance enjoy. But, Susan exerts a great deal of dominance with respect to our sexual activities. And, I love every minute of it. I wish we had begun doing this many years ago.

The only part I don't enjoy are the heavy punishment spankings. I used to fantasize about them. But I have now learned how different fantasy is from reality. The worst type is when she decides that I must cum before she spanks me. That takes away all sexual feelings and the spankings hurt much more. Fortunately, she has only done that a few times when I really upset her.

I hope this helps explain a bit more about our sexual relationship from my point of view.