Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Learning as We Go

During the past week, I finally realized that Barry and I needed to have a serious discussion and that he needed to make some significant changes with respect to his performance in the bedroom.  Since we became more active again during the past month or so, and since I have been using his chastity device to keep him from self-pleasuring, his ability to provide me with the physical pleasure I crave and need has significantly diminished.  When we first started this new way of life over a year ago, we were each striving for ways to please each other.  It was wonderful!  I love finding new ways to tease and please him, but I also need to be fulfilled.  And, recently that has not been happening very often.

During the past month,his suggestions for new things to do together always seemed to focus on his pleasure.  To make matters worse, since he has been in chastity, he is very quickly arroused and reaches an orgasm much too quickly to meet my needs.  Gone are the days when I can ride him and control his ability to orgasm to meet my needs.  Consequently, we seem to be back to the days of a quick love-making session which leaves him fulfulled and me frustrated.

Because of all of this, I've been exploring new blogs on my own.  In the past I only did this while monitoring Barry.  I now realize that most of what I had been reading with him was written from the male perspective.  I really didn't take enough time to explore things on my own.  I recently discovered, which is written by a woman about my age who has clearly taken charge of her own sexual needs.  She is married to a younger submissive man, but also has a lover who possesses what she refers to as a "Trophy Cock" (TC).  Both men are bisexual, which makes things even more confusing to me.  Her relationship is not what I am seekeing.  However, what I have learned from reading her blog is that she has taken charge of things and makes sure her needs are met.  She has helped me realize that I need to find a way to do the same thing in a way that makes sense for me.

I now realize that I made the mistake of constantly trying to please Barry, assuming that he would do the same for me.  At times he did.  However, I am slowly learning that men don't always do that. So, I am now determined to really take control.  I want to continue to please my #1 guy, but also make sure he pleases me.

So, Barry and I had a significant 'heart to heart' talk last night.  I think he understood my needs and concerns.  Most importantly, he agreed to what I proposed, which was the following:
  • I will be in charge of our sexual relationship
  • His responsibility is to insure that I am sexually pleased
  • His sexual pleasure will only occur after I am appropriately satisfied
  • We will each strive to find new ways to pleasure each other
  • He will wear his chastity device whenever I want him to do so
  • We will continue to openly discuss our sexual needs and strive to find ways to mutually meet them
  • We each will strive to getting to a point where we can orgasm together, but that will take more work and discussion.
After our discussion and agreement, I locked Barry in his chastity device.  I shared with him that he will not be released from it until he provides me with an orgasm.  When that occurs, he will be released and I will make sure he achieves orgasm. 


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Back in Chastity Control

Things were going quite well last week as Barry and I found more time together.  Quite well, that is, until Barry decided to break one our major rules.  I returned home early from a shopping expedition to find Barry surfing porn sites on the computer.  He wasn't masturbating, but it was clear that he was thoroughly arroused, so I was sure that it would have just been a matter of time before he provided himself with some pleasure.  Ever since we started our journey together, Barry has understood that I don't mind him looking a porn, as long as I am by his side and that I am the one who provides his pleasure.

I was quite upset and made it clear that he was going to be punished that evening.  I haven't punished Barry in several months, so I could tell that he was a bit taken back by my announcement.  After we cleaned up the kitchen from dinner, I suggested that Barry go take a shower and that I would join him to provide his weekly shaving.  When I joined him in the shower, he quickly became arroused and remained in that state throughout the shaving procedure.  As I helped him dry off, I told him it was time for his punishment.  I told him to remain naked and meet me at our computer.  Five minutes later, I joined him with an old neck tie to bind his hands, along with our electric vibrator and wooden bathbrush.  Boy did his eyes grow wide!

After binding his hands behind his back, we both sat in front of the computer and I brought up the browser history to see what sites Barry and visited earlier that day.  We then explored them together as I made him guide me to the specific links he had explored.  They were quite interesting and one video caused him to become highly arroused.  It involved a man tied face down on a table which had a hole for his genitals to protrude through, where they were accessible from below.  An attractive woman wearing a red mask first spanked him a bit and then thoroughly teased him from below for a lengthy time before bringing him to a climax.  The amazing part was that after he had his orgasm, she continued to stimulate him.  It appeared to be quite painful yet exciting to him.  Barry also couldn't hide his excitement as we watched it.  I tried to get him to explain why it was so exciting and he couldn't provide any details other than it just was.  I decided to play it again.  As he watched it I tried to mimic what woman was doing, bringing him to a high level of excitement and then backing off multiple times.  After I caused him to orgasm, I also then continued to stroke his penis and massage its head.  Even though his hands were tied, Barry couldn't sit still as I did it.  It was really driving him crazy.  He seemed to love it and hate it at the same time. 
After I was done, I told Barry it was time for his punishment spanking.  I left his hands tied behind his back and took him to the sofa where I took him over my lap and gave him a thorough spanking with the bathbrush.  It is his most hated spanking implement and I hated to spank him as hard as I did.  However, I wanted him to fully understand that surfing porn without me present was completely unacceptable.  By the time I was done, I had his complete attention and he was begging and pleading for me to stop as he promised he would never do it again.  After hugging and kissing him, and telling him how much I loved him, Barry completely surprised me.  He suggested that perhaps I should keep him in his chastity device on a regular basis when he was unsupervised to help him behave.

So, since Saturday night, Barry is now wearing his device whenever I am not with him.  That means wearing it to work everyday (which I don't think he anticipated), as well as anytime that either of us leaves the house without the other.  Our new procedure has created some interesting dynamics as I secure him each morning and release him when he comes home from work.  He is definitely much hornier (which I didn't think could be possible) every night after being locked up all day.  He attributes it to the fact that the presence of the chastity device makes him constantly aware of his penis.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Finding Time for Each Other Again

I am very embarrassed to realize that it has been over two months since I last posted.  I don't know how it happened, but life became really busy for both Barry and me.  Because of that we stopped taking the time for each other and the things we enjoy.  That was a huge mistake and we are working on rectifying the situation.  I will share more about that in this post, but let me first provide a quick update on Barry's diet.  Even through the hecticness of our lives the past two months, Barry stayed focused on losing weight and has now lost 30 pounds.  He is the most amazing person I have ever known when it comes to staying on a diet.  He looks fantastic and has much more energy.  His weight loss also made me realize that when a man loses weight, it includes the fat in the pubic area, which causes the penis to show more and look bigger .... a benefit that I am enjoying :-).

Friday night of 4th of July weekend, I had a wake up call with respect to how busy Barry and I had become and what it was doing to us.  I discovered that he was masturbating  to the computer again!  A sad part of it was that it had been going on for a couple of weeks and I hadn't realized that we weren't paying enough attention to each other.  I was upset with myself for letting things get to that point, but I was even more upset that Barry reverted to masturbation rather than sharing with me that he needed more attention in bed.  I realized that I needed to take control again, which I did the next day.

On Saturday I informed Barry that I was going to take charge of our love life again, and that I was going to begin by placing him in his chastity device for one week as punishment for masturbating and not sharing his sexual needs with me.  In our hecticness the past two months I had also stopped shaving him, so Saturday night I took him into the shower and made sure he was completely smooth from his waist to mid-thigh.  I loved the fact that he was fully arroused the whole time I was shaving him.  When I was done, I locked him in his chastity device and then took him into the bedroom for a spanking that was hard enough to let him know I was in charge, but also loving enough to keep him arroused.  That is something he doesn't really enjoy when he is locked up.  During the spanking I let him know that he could expect to be kept in his device for one week and that he could expect a spanking every night.  I also shared that he would be well rewarded the following Saturday night when I let him out of his cage.

During the week I did my best to arrouse him every chance I had.  I dressed in provocative clothing whenever we were alone and wore his favorite lingerie to bed.  I made him sleep au naturel, so I could have easy access to teasing his testicle whenever I awoke in the middle of the night.  Every couple of days I removed his device for a couple of hours in the evening, during which time I made sure to tease him.  About midweek I started giving him hints about the reward he would experience on Saturday night.  I told him that it would be one of the fantasies that he has shared with me.  He didn't know it until Saturday, but the fantasy I chose was his desire to be teased and fulfilled unmercifully for as many times as his manhood could perform.

When  Saturday finally arrived, he was almost beside himself with desire.  And, so was I.  I could hardly wait to have my way with him.  I let him out of his device before we went out to dinner.  However, I made sure he was wearing the remote controlled vibrating cock ring underneath a pair of panties.  I was dressed in the bra, panty, and garter set that I know he loves and wearing a tight skirt and sheer white blouse.  Needless to say, I had his attention all through dinner.

When we arrived home I took him to the bedroom where I slowly undressed him and then tied him spreadeagled on his back to our four poster bed.  I then started to slowly tease him as I undressed and prepared all of the toys that I planned to use.  I'm not going to share all of the details, but three hours later after having been teased and brought to orgasm four times using various techniques, he was finally completely spent.  I think I have his attention again, and I don't plan to lose it again so easily.