Monday, August 22, 2011

Thoughts about HOH and FLR

In my last post I shared that I had a delightful conversation with the hostess of the inn we stayed in last Sunday night. While Barry was packing things up and loading the car, she sat down at the table and we talked for almost an hour.  She was curious about the type of relationship that Barry and I have, and I was curious about she and her husband.  It seems that she and Robert have a complete female led relationship in which she is the head of the household in all regards.  She manages the inn and Robert does most of the work.  He prepares breakfast each morning for the guests and after cleaning up the kitchen he takes care of cleaning the five rooms.  She also keeps him in a chastity device and panties most of the time and has taken complete control of when and how he receives sexual pleasure.  She is convinced that since she has taken complete charge of Robert, he has become a much kinder and gentler husband.  She also does not hesitate to use corporal punishment whenever necessary to keep him well behaved.  I was curious how she could do that due to having strangers in the house most nights.  She explained that most guests leave by 10 AM in the morning and new guests seldom arrive until at least 2 PM.  When a punishment is needed, it is frequently administered during that time period except when the inn is vacant.  She also explained that she also frequently uses a cane, which is a very quiet implement.  The only problem with cane is that it is difficult for Robert to remain quiet.  Initially, she would gag him whenever the cane was used, but she has slowly trained him to take it quietly.  Before we ended our conversation, she invited Robert to our table from the kitchen and prompted him to tell me about their relationship.  His summary confirmed what Margaret had told me.

I was quite intrigued by the complete control she exhibits over Robert and what a gentle, pleasant person he is.  When I commented about that, Margaret explained that he wasn't always as loving and kind.  However, that changed once she took charge of their relationship and him.  She strongly encouraged me to take more control of all aspects of Barry's and my relationship.  She was confident that I would see a dramatic change in Barry's general demeanor and an increase in his desire and actions to please me in all ways.  She also suggested that based upon what I told her about Barry's desire to be spanked and his acceptance of me controlling much of our sex life, it is very likely that Barry really desires to have a woman control more aspects of his life and that he will quickly embrace it.

As we drove home that morning, I couldn't help but playing my conversation with Margaret over in my head many times.  I was struck by how similar it seems to what several of you readers have shared in comments to me about HOH and FLRs.   That night over dinner, I shared much of the conversation I had with Margaret with Barry and told him that I was thinking about taking full control of all aspects of our relationship and household.  When he asked me what that meant, I told him I wasn't quite sure, but that I was going to give it significant thought and we would talk more.

Barry didn't seem to object to the idea of me being the HOH, but since we  haven't talked in more detail about what it would mean to him, I'm not sure he fully comprehends the extent of what I'm talking about.  I have been giving it a lot of thought the past week and jotting down a number of specific changes I would implement if I decide to do this.  This feels like a really major change and is not something I am taking lightly.  The changes we have already made in our relationship are also huge, but they have occurred fairly gradually, so they didn't feel so dramatic at the time.

I suspect we'll be talking in the next few days ....



  1. Just came across your blog, it's one that both I and my wife will most likely be following.

    I would have been mortified the following morning, but I think it was awesome that Margaret opened up to you like that.

    Look forward to reading more posts, and I just hope my wife doesn't get any ideas :)

  2. Susan: Really enjoyed this post. I really wish you good luck with your decision to assume the posiiton of HOH. I'm sure Barry hasn't taken in what it may mean but I really look forward to hearing how your relationship develops in this way. We've not looked back since we adopted more of a FLR lifestyle. It's not full-on 100% like Margaret's and Robert's sounds but we're gradually developing it nicely and it's really helped me appreciate Mistress much more - and helped remind me constantly of where my duties should lie and not where my lazy and selfish male brain would like to wander!

  3. Dear Miss Susan, I am rather jealous of Barry, He has a lady that has been willing to take the lead in the relationship, who loves him enough to discipline him in spite of himself, I firmly believe that if every marriage was a FLR there would be less break ups taking place.
    Our relationship is in the process of evolving into a FLR and soon I will be bare bottomed across my wife's knee sobbing and pleading for her to stop spanking me.
    Until then I will continue to live in hope.


  4. Miss Susan I am greatly interested in the Inn you visited and I live in NY myself. I am going to the Adirondaks in Sept. and we will be in Lake George. I am kept in chastity by my lovely wife and would love to have my wife meet the people you describe at the Inn. I could stay there sometime and perhaps she could also make a connection. I would be most discrete. Marty

  5. Marty. Thank you for your kind and respectful request. I have received several email requests for the identity of the inn. Margaret and I have previously talked about this issue, since I suspected I would be receiving multiple requests. She was quite flattered to realize this would happen. However, she also shared with me that the B&B is a livelihood for her and Robert. Consequently, she is extremely hesitant to have any word get out that they enjoy the lifestyle that they shared with us. In fact, after she exposed their lifestyle to Barry and me, she became very concerned that this very thing could happen. She realizes that "everyone has a friend" and there would be no way to control the spread of their inn's name. Anyone I share this information with will likely share it with someone else, etc. It could just mushroom and negatively impact their very small business. Consequently, I am compelled to honor her desire to remain anonymous.

    I trust that you and other readers will fully understand.