Rethinking How to Use the Chastity Device

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A Few Thoughts About Devotional Sex

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Devotional Sex

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Assessing this Transition Time

It has become clear to me that Barry and I are in a transition time.  We took over a year out from our personal relationship to care for my mother.  I can not begin to express how important it was for me to do that; and how thankful I am for Barry's support.  However, since I am not currently employed, I have had time to reflect upon what we went through and where we are now.

Part of that reflection has made me understand the difficulty we are each having in getting back into the FLR that we had just started to enjoy.  But, we are moving in the right direction.  Sometimes it is difficult for me to be the dominant partner.  However, other times it feels very comfortable.  I had gotten to a very comfortable level before my Mother became so ill.  I am just now getting back to that comfort level and realizing how much Barry needs me to be dominant in our relationship.

It was hard for me to do what I did Saturday night with Barry.  However, it had a very positive impact upon how he treats me.  I will try to share more about that in a later post.  What I need to share at this moment is that I am seeing a huge change in him this week.  It is clear that Saturday made a huge impression on him.  We are moving in the correct direction.

This transition is difficult for each of us.  Barry is giving up control and it seems like that it is beneficial to him.  I'm learning how to be dominant again and am finding that I enjoy it again.  Being dominant is something that is very different that how I ever imagined myself ... so I have had to learn to accept that it is a good thing for Barry and me.

I hope to build on what I learned from this past weekend.

Susan

Catching Up on Comments

I am feeling a need to respond to the wonderful, supporting comments that so many of you have offered.  They have been a very special gift to me as I return to blogging.  Thank you!

The most important thing I want to do is share my appreciation to all of the expressions of understanding of what I went through regarding the end of life of my mother.  It was really difficult, and I am really glad that I did what I did.  A friend once told me that she only has one mother.  That struck me, and influenced how I wanted to respond to my mother's end of life needs. So, I need to say "thank you" for all of your expressions of understanding.

As a side note, I also want to respond to a comment that asked a question about whether we had purchased the spanking bench that I talked about.  That was a tough question for me, because I really wanted to purchase it.  In fact, I actually directed Barry to order it.  However, I had serious second thoughts.  I just couldn't deal with it being in our home and having the unknown possibilities of family not understanding it if they discovered it after our demise.

So, even though I originally wanted to purchase it, we did not.  I would still like to do so.  But, I just can't do so at this time.  I am looking for other options to accomplish the same goals <grin>.

Susan

Choices and Consequences

Saturday evening turned into a learning experience for Barry.  My plan was provide Barry with a lengthy tease and denial session (which he loves); and to then create a situation in which he would be given two things to choose from.  One choice, the preferred and sensible one, would reward him.  The other choice, a foolish and selfish one, would punish him.  Not surprisingly, Barry made a poor choice.

After dinner, we cleaned up the kitchen together and I suggested that Barry take a shower put on one of his new chemises before joining me in the bedroom.  After joining him for a quick tease in the shower, I proceeded to the bedroom where I put on his favorite lingerie:  black shelf bra with matching lace panties, garter belt, and stockings.  I then turned down the bedspread and laid out some equipment and supplies.  These included four old neckties I use to bind Barry's wrists and ankles to the bed posts, the Hitachi vibrator, Barry's Ride-On penis extension, the Spanking Buddy, my strapon and harness, a roll of one inch wide gauze, a bowl of ice cubes, a wet wash cloth that I had heated up in the microwave, tubes of lubricant, Deep Heat, and lidocaine cream, the new snugger fit condoms, etc.  These were all placed in clear view on my dresser, so Barry could observe the wide collection of toys when he came into the room.

When Barry came into the bedroom and took one look at how I was dressed and the variety of toys on the dresser, he got a big smile on his face.  I smiled back and told him that I had a special evening planned for him.  His eyes were focusing on the ties to bind him to the bed, which didn't surprise me.  I know how much he loves it when I secure him face up and spread-eagled on the bed.  He was already sporting an erection just from looking at me and the toys.  I told him that I hoped he was well-rested and ready for an intense time.

I suggested we start with a playful spanking to get his blood flowing.  After removing his cage, over my lap he went and I used the Spanking Buddy in a firm and playful way to redden his bottom and get him wiggling.  It was then onto the bed where I firmly secured him with the old ties and used the gauze to create a binding around the base of his penis and the top of his scrotum.  I had never done this before, but recently read on a website that binding a male in this way can assure the erection is maintained and can delay the ability to orgasm.  So, I thought I would give it a try.  For the next thirty minutes or so, I used my hands, mouth, and vagina, along with the ice cubes, warm wash cloth, and the Hitachi to tease and torment Barry, repeatedly bringing him to a high state of arousal and then letting him down.  Since he loves to look at my bottom, I made sure that it was frequently inches from his face, where he could see, but not touch.  This is the type of foreplay that Barry loves and it really had him going.  Long before I was ready to stop, he was pleading with me to allow him to orgasm.

He was now ready to have to make a decision.  I explained to him that I really didn't want him to orgasm tonight, but to show some self-control.  To offer some encouragement to do so, I told him that if he waited until the next night, I would repeat the fun we had tonight and then provide him with an orgasm in whatever way he most desired.  I even went so far to state that it could include a visit to my back door, which I know he loves (and I very seldom allow).  As he began to plead for me to allow it tonight, I explained that if he felt he had to have an orgasm tonight, it would have to be solely by masturbating in front of me.  I was disappointed, but not surprised that he chose the second option, claiming that he just couldn't wait.

I told him how disappointed I was with his choice, but I would keep my word and allow him to masturbate after I had a little more fun with his penis.  I then placed a hand towel over his eyes so that he couldn't see what I was doing.  Telling him that since I was sorry this his balls ached so much for an orgasm, I would try to provide him some additional help for that aching.  I then rubbed a little of the Deep Heat onto the surface of his scrotum (which was still bound with the gauze).  It felt cool to him at first and he starting moaning with delight.  However, the moans quickly sounded more distressful as the heat starting to kick in.  I didn't rub much on, but just enough to cause some discomfort that would last for a while after he masturbated.

I then began to rub some lidocaine cream all over the shaft and glans of his penis.  I wasn't sure how much to use, but I wanted to make sure it would have the desired effect of numbing his penis, so I was quite generous.  I explained that I was lubing it up for him.  I then told him I needed to use the bathroom and would be right back.  I took my time and returned in fifteen minutes, since I wanted to provide sufficient time for the lidocaine cream to begin to work.  Upon return, I rubbed on a little more just to be sure and to tease him a bit more.   I then told him I was going to put one of our new condoms on him so that he wouldn't make a mess on our bedding.  The snugger fit style we purchased was significantly slimmer in diameter and provided a very firm fit to his penis.  Removing the towel from his eyes, I asked if he still wanted to masturbate.  The preparation of his penis only served to arouse him more, so I was not surprised when he said yes.  I then shared with him that I would untie his left hand and he must masturbate left handed for me while still being bound to the bed.  He didn't expect that and I could tell that he was not pleased.

However, as soon as I freed his left hand, it was straight to his cock and he started to stroke.  Left-handled was quite awkward for him and it showed.  It was also very amusing to watch the look on his face when he realized that he was not feeling much in his penis.  He began to stroke harder and faster and it quickly became apparent that he was having a hard time reaching an orgasm ... which is exactly what I had hoped would happen.  I wanted there to be a very negative consequence of his choice to masturbate rather than waiting a day for me to make love to him.  I didn't time him, but it must have taken him well over five minutes to achieve an orgasm.  By the time he finally did, he was stroking wildly and was clearly frustrated.  As soon as he started climax, I grabbed his hand and made him stop stimulating.   He immediately protested, but since his other hand was still bound, he couldn't do anything to stop me.  As he lay on the bed, I untied his penis and scrotum and kept him bound to the bed for a few minutes, while I used the wash cloth to clean up his penis a bit before putting his cage back on.  During this process we discussed the consequences he just experienced for exhibiting no self-control and making a very poor decision.  I told him that I hoped he would make a better choice the next time he is unlocked and offered an opportunity for he and I to make love together.

We will continue to grow together,
Susan

A Fun Trip to the Mall

This morning was our time to go shopping and purchase new lingerie for Barry.  I had a great time; but Barry, not so much <grin>.  We first visited our local mall which has a JCPenney and a Macy's.  It is nice to be new in a heavily populated area where I don't have to worry about anybody recognizing me.  That allowed me freedom to be daring in public and create more embarrassing situations for Barry.  For some reason, I have come to enjoy doing that.  Consequently, I became very demonstrative as we surveyed the various panty options available.  Although I know Barry's size (he has kept his weight off and can wear the same size I do), I made a point of holding up a couple of different sizes to Barry's cute little bottom to judge how they would fit.  I also openly kept asking him questions about which styles he found more comfortable to wear, based on the last collection we had.  There were enough people in each store on a Saturday to assure that we were observed and overheard.  Besides picking out several different styles and colors at each store, I also found two chemises that he will wear for sleeping.  One even had a matching panty.  In each store, I conveniently handed our selections to Barry as we approached the checkout desk, telling him that I needed to visit the ladies room.  I had done that before and knew how embarrassing that Barry found it.

We had planned to go to Victoria's Secret as well, but I decided to save that outing for another day.  I still want to find a sturdy garter belt for Barry to be able to wear with stockings under his business clothes.  Since we already had two fun store experiences today, I thought it would be fun to save that for later.

On the way hope I told Barry that we also needed to stop at a pharmacy to get some things for a special evening tonight.  He was immediately enthusiastic.  As we entered the store, I shared with him the things I wanted him to purchase:  condoms, personal lubrication, and lidocaine cream.  I knew that he would think the first two items were desired because I would allow him to have access to my back door (that is the only time we use condoms).  We have never purchased lidocaine before, and he didn't ask about it, but I suspect he thought it was to make me more comfortable  Little did he know what I really have planned for tonight.  I again had some fun with him in the store.  When he was picking out the normal brand of condoms we have used in the past, I noticed a brand that offered a  'snugger fit' option.  I couldn't resist telling him that I wanted to purchase that brand, so we wouldn't have our usual problem of the condom slipping off.  There were several people near by and Barry immediately turned beet red.  That gave me the opportunity to open my mouth some more and tell him not to be embarrassed, size doesn't matter.

So, we arrived home and had a late lunch and a quick fashion show.  I then suggested to Barry that he get some rest this afternoon, because I have a special evening planned for him after dinner.  He took my advice and is taking a short nap as I compose this post.

He is in for quite a surprise tonight.

Susan

Taking Charge Again

This has been a tough week.  Since setting new ground rules Tuesday night about if and when he will receive sexual pleasure from me, Barry has been very grumpy.  Wednesday night he acted like a spoiled child who didn't get his way.  I tried ignoring him, hoping that his attitude would improve as he got used to being in chastity again.  However, last night was even worse, even though I allowed him to have some time on the computer (with his chastity device in place, of course).  That only made matters worse.  He complained how uncomfortable it was for him to become aroused while wearing the device (Gee, whose fault was it that he was aroused?).  Consequently, I decided it was time to more fully take charge.

Taking him by the ear, I led him into our bedroom and told him that I was fed up with his childish, boorish behavior and that he had earned a punishment spanking.  I directed him to bring me the lexan paddle while I went to his dresser to get his red punishment panties to wear.  Surprisingly, I couldn't find any panties in his underwear drawer.  The only undershorts present were the new briefs he had purchased while I was away taking care of my mother early in the process.  When he returned with the lexan paddle, I asked him about his panties, he again claimed that he didn't find them when he unpacked all of his clothes.  However, later, during his spanking, he admitted that he had thrown them out prior to the move.

After making him strip and put on a pair of panties, I sat on the bench at the foot of our bed and took him over my lap.  I took my own sweet time getting him into position and asking him if he was comfortable.  I told him that I want to make sure he was, because he was going to be there for a long time while we have a serious discussion about his attitude and some new rules.  Using the lexan paddle firmly and methodically, it didn't take long for me to have his undivided attention.  One nice thing about the lexan is that it doesn't take much effort to have an impact.  It does all the work!

By the time we were done, which must have been a half hour later, Barry was begging and pleading for me to stop and promising me anything that he thought would help.  We came to an understanding about who was in charge of his sexual pleasure, the fact that his internet surfing time would not be severely limited to now more than a 1/2 hour at a time and no more than 2 total hours a week, and that he was going to return to wearing panties all of the time.  When I finally let him up, the first thing he had to do was throw out all of his briefs that he had bought while I was away during the past year.

This morning when Barry returned from taking his morning shower, I had laid out a pair of my sexiest panties and a pair of thigh high black stockings for him to wear to work.  I explained that the stockings were going to be an extra reminder to him all day long of who was now in charge in our household.

It was not easy for me to assert my dominance so strongly, but I had finally come to the realization that I needed to do it and assume complete control to help him make the transition more easily.  We'll see if it has a positive impact on his behavior when he returns from work today.  I plan to let him know tomorrow night that we will take a shopping trip on Saturday to replace the panties that he had disposed of.

Susan

Understanding Barry's Submissiveness

After last weekend, Barry and I have had several long discussions.  I pushed to have them because Barry doesn't talk much unless I force the issue.  So, I pushed, he talked, I listened, and I shared.  I have also given a lot of thought to what I heard.  It has become clear (again) to me that Barry has a very submissive and kinky nature and craves for me to be dominant in our sexual relationship.  I had learned that before, but lost it during the past year when my focus was on caring for my mother.  It has become even more clear in the past few days.  Since I became dominant with him in the past, he has now been more willing to share his true feelings and needs.  We talked a lot about his sexual interests and what, he feels, are his needs.  I have shared with him that I'm not sure I can be as dominant or as kinky as he would like.  However, I love this man ... and am going to try.  We also talked about some of my needs and desires; and he is willing to try to meet them. Given his desires, if I am dominant, I can assure that he will meet my needs.  I have slowly learned the power that I possess as a female in this relationship.  It is not my nature to use that type of power, but that is clearly what Barry wants me to do.

So, we are continuing to move forward again.  I feel good about it, but also question whether I can ever meet his needs to be dominated.  One thing is very clear to me at the moment, which is that it was a good decision to lock him up in chastity, but a bad decision to tell him that I wanted to meet all of his desires for orgasm.  So, things have changed.  He is locked up, but I will control if, when, and how he experiences an orgasm.  He clearly expressed that he wants and needs me to take that control.  So ... here we go!  From what I have read, it seems like it is beneficial to limit when and how he orgasms.

During the past year when we were separated a lot, he had complete freedom with the internet and he downloaded a lot of photos and videos.  That has now changed!  However, I have also decided that I need to spend some time reviewing what he downloaded and attempt to understand his interests.  I'm not sure where that will lead, but we are where we are.  We begin a another journey together.

Susan

First Spanking in Over a Year

It was hard for me to believe that it had been over a year since I last spanked Barry.  However, it had been until yesterday afernoon.  I hadn't realized it and I didn't plan on spanking him yesterday.  However, he forced my hand ... probably on purpose.  We had been working in the yard earlier in the day doing some heavy duty gardening.  Barry had agreed to move several shrubs for me, so I allowed him to be out of his chastity device.  When he finished the project I still had several things to do outside.  He showed me what he had accomplished and asked if there was anything else I'd like him to do before he took a shower.  I said "no" without giving it a second thought.  That was a mistake, because when I finished up and came into the house I found Larry in his home office at the computer with his dick in his hand.  When I looked at the PC, I realized that he had just started watching a rather lengthy video (thirty some minutes).  I immediately paused it and told him not to move.  I departed to get something to bind his hands behind his back, which I did when I returned.  I then restarted the video and left him to watch it with his hands tied behind the back of the chair while I went and took my shower.

I returned before the video was over and Barry was still watching with a rock hard erection about which he could do nothing.  After the video finished, I decided to give him a bit of relief (a very little bit).  I spent the next 10 minutes or so teasing him with my hands and mouth before finally allowing him to climax.  However, as soon as I knew he was starting to shoot, I stopped the stimulation.  That was part of the video he was watching when I returned from my shower ... so I thought it would be an appropriate way to end.

I then took Barry to our bedroom where I told him he was going to be punished for violating our agreement to not have sexual activity without me being part of it.  I gave him a prolonged hard spanking with our ruler paddle and hairbrush.  It wasn't overly severe, since I could tell that his bottom was tender and I knew how much he hates to be spanked after having a climax.  However, I was deliberate and slow paced as I administered a very sound spanking all over his bottom.  It was very uniformly red all over when I was done and he was begging me to stop.  When I finally finished with a flurry of 20 or so hard swats of the hairbrush at the very base of his bottom, I took him in my arms.  At that time I was surprised to hear him say "Thank you, I've missed that for such a long time".  That is when I realized that it had been over a year since I had last spanked him, and realized that his little session with the computer was probably done on purpose to get me to spank him.

We spent a long time talking last night and this morning.  We're still sorting things out, but talking is good.

Susan

Reclaiming an Erotic Life

As I mentioned in my last post, the past fifteen months took a significant toll on Barry's and my relationship.  Even when we were together, I was too physically and emotionally exhausted to put any significant effort into our sexual activities.  This was especially hard on Barry, but he was very understanding and patient with me.  For obvious reasons, his chastity device was not kept in use.  To my dismay, it became apparent to me that Barry became addicted once again to pornography on the web and masturbation.  However, I really couldn't object, since I was not providing him with any other alternative; and at least he turned to the computer and his hand instead of a relationship with another woman.

However, we are now moving forward.  Several weeks ago we had a long talk about how to rejuvenate our sex life and have begun taking positive steps.  Barry is back in his device full time.  However, its purpose is not to deprive him of sex, but to make sure his sexual activities always include me.  He is also again completely shaved from his waist to his upper thighs; and, at his request, I am also keeping myself neatly trimmed down below.  I am again becoming comfortable taking a dominant role and we are beginning to explore the concept of 'devotional sex', which allows each of us to focus completely on providing the other with pleasure.  I will try to share more about that later as we move forward.

Thanks to those who have commented and offered kind words of support to my last post.  It is good to be back.

Susan

Getting Our World Back Together

The past fifteen months have been an extreme challenge and caused me to disappear from this blog.  I should have shared why I disappeared at that time, but my physical and emotional energy didn't allow me to do so.  I don't want to go into too many details, but the challenge was finding a way to care for my mother.  We had previously successfully helped Barry's parents move into an assisted living complex; and they are doing well.  However, shortly after their move, my mother's health deteriorated rapidly and there was not an easy solution.  Luckily, I was able to take a leave of absence from my work to go and care for her.  That was the good news.  The bad news was that we had a long road in front of us.  She was going to require long term 24 hour help, which she and our family could not afford.  So, my sister (who lives near her) and I decided that we could find a way to do it.  That decision turned out to be a wonderful gift to all of us, but also a physically and emotionally draining time for my sister and me.

To make a long story short, with Barry's support I ended up traveling halfway across the country to be with my mother.  And, Barry somehow eventually found a way to obtain a new position in that area.  So, last December we moved! (leaving our beloved New England).  What we expected to be a very long haul time-wise became much shorter when my mother suffered a fatal stroke this spring.  It was a blessing to her, but I am still grieving.  I am just now becoming able to begin to return to somewhat normal living.

This entire situation was something I would have never asked for in my life.  However, in the grand scheme of life it has been a wonderful experience.  It was amazing to have to care for my mother in ways that she cared for me as an infant.  However, it also had a huge impact on Barry's and my relationship; but we have survived it and are coming out of it.  For fifteen months, my focus was my mother.  That changed all we had been doing prior to her downfall.  But, we are now getting back to being able to focus on each other ... which is another gift.

I am going to try to get back into blogging, since I think it will be helpful for me.

Susan

We're Still Here

I suspect that many of you may have think that Barry and I have disappeared off the face of the earth.  Alas, that is not true.

However, we are again dealing with esculating challenges of aging parents who don't live close to us, but have significant care needs.  We thought we had found a good solution a while ago.  It worked for a while.  However, things have esculated again.  Appropriately, our time and energy is currently going to them.  And it will continue to do so for a while.  These are not easy times for us.

Susan

Spanking Bench ????

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A New Experience Last Night

Being off from work yesterday for a routine medical appointment provided me with an unexpected opportunity to spice things up and create a new opportunity for Barry and me.

First, I need to provide a little background that developed two weekends ago when Barry shared with me that he enjoyed being pegged and when we visited the lingerie/adult store in "the city".  While we were there, I purchased a French maid's dress and a lovely, fun paddle.  What I did not purchase (because I didn't want Barry to know I was doing so) was a beautiful, life-like very large strap-on dildo.  It is quite large compared to the two dildos I have used to penetrate him, but not ridiculous.

Last Monday, I called the store and asked if they would ship it to our home.  The were happy to do so ... and it arrived yesterday.  Perfect timing.  I arrived home from my appointment early afternoon and found it.  I immediately texted Barry with "Get ready for some fun tonight".  I continued to periodically text him during the afternoon with things like "I own your butt", "Better not be late", "You're in for a 'huge' surprise", etc.  I wanted to have him crawling with anticipation by the time he got home :-).  As he was driving home I called him and told him that I needed him to stop at the pharmacy on the way to pick up a couple of things.  I let him ask what I needed before I told him to bring home a package of large size condoms and a large tube of lube.  The slight pause and hitch in his voice as he replied "Yes, dear" was very apparent.  I loved it.

When he arrived home, I greeted him at the door dressed in his favorite outfit for me (white blouse and black skirt).  Under the skirt, I was wearing the dildo in my harness and it was quite apparent.  I loved seeing Barry's smile when he saw the outfit I was wearing, and I couldn't miss the look on his face when he noticed the outline of what was below my skirt. It was priceless.  I suggested that he go take a shower and that I would join him in the bathroom.  When he entered our bedroom, the French maid outfit was laid out on our bed.  When he entered the bathroom, he couldn't miss the enema bag hanging on the clothes hook by the shower and the dressing bench in the middle of the room.

I'd prefer to keep some of the details a bit personal, but let me share that I joined him in the bathroom as he finished his shower.  After we removed his cage, he ended up over the bench to receive a slowly administered enema concurrent with lots of genital teasing and erotic paddling with the leather paddle I had purchased at the store during our visit.  I left him alone to have some privacy to expel the quart of warm water before he joined me in the bedroom, where I had fun dressing him as my maid.

He then served us the dinner that I had prepared and cleaned up the kitchen afterwards, knowing what was in store for him beneath my skirt.  When we retired to the bedroom for his introduction to our new toy, I first took him over my knee for a fun spanking with my Spanking Buddy.  When I did so, I trapped his erection between my thighs so I could make sure I kept him aroused and  also made sure he could feel the presence of the new dildo in his abdomen.  Once his bottom was nicely warmed, I had him kneel in front of me and raise my skirt to get acquainted with "Max", my new friend.  After having him experience its size and texture in his mouth, I had him roll the condom on it (the large size fit quite nicely) and then prepare it with as much lube as he desired.  Once I had him bending over the side of the bed I took my time with him.  It took patience and gentleness to get Max started.  But, once it was about two thirds of the way in, Barry began to moan and move his hips towards me to assist in its penetration.  It was then that I realized what a little slut he is with respect to anal play.  He was loving it!  He continued to rock his hips with me as I continued to peg him.  When I withdrew, I flipped him over on his back to confirm that he had a very stiff erection.  I then finished him off, teasing him about what a slut he was, and left him with a ruined orgasm.

I have to confess that I loved the evening.  Since my focus last week was primarily on making sure that Barry's (and my) sexual needs were met, I decided that I needed to make sure I reasserted control in a loving, caring way.  I'm pretty sure that I succeeded.

This is also really the type of spice that I am hoping to make sure that we each continue to add to our relationship.  I also now realize that I need to take advantage of what a little slut he is for pegging.

Susan

A Good Week

The past week was much more fun for both Barry and me than the previous one.  The new rules we established seem to be working much better.  Barry still wears his chastity device most of the time, even though it is unlocked.  The honor system seems to be working, probably because we have opened up better communications by each pledging to share our sexual needs with the other and to meet each others needs.  That seems to work better for both of us, as opposed to enforced chastity for long periods of time.  We each seemed to need more sexual stimulation last week, perhaps due to the stress of the punishment week.  The Ride-on got put to use most nights, especially while Barry was tied to the bed while lying on his back.  Barry also got to enjoy significant and lengthy teasing in that position.  It seems to be his favorite and I plan to use it frequently, now that I realize how meaningful it is to him (and how much fun it can be with the Ride-on and for forced oral worship (which I also plan to take advantage of on a more regular basis).

Barry also continues to keep his body completely shaved and wear panties instead of men's underwear, which I really enjoy.  I guess that I need to begin giving some thought to what to do in the summer, when he will need to expose his arms and legs.   Also, I think it's time for us to make a trip to Victoria's Secrets again.  It should allow for some public embarrassment and teasing, which should be fun for both of us.

After learning more of Barry's likes and dislikes, I have now implemented an additional rule.  Whenever Barry climaxes, the results of his pleasure will be consumed by him.  It does not necessarily take place at that time, since I was intrigued by comments regarding freezing them for later consumption.  I have started to keep a dedicated ice cube tray in the freezer into which we can transfer and save his juices.  And, we have been exploring some other creative ways to make the consumption a sensual experience, especially if they have spilled on me.

So, last week was good for both of us and it provided opportunities for experimentation, which I think is something that Barry and I have both been craving.

Thanks again to each of you who have shared comments of support and ideas.  I can't begin to express how helpful you are.

Susan

Barry's Time: Explanation/Comments of "The Video"

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Moving Forward and Exploring New Territory

Barry and I spent the last week taking time to savor ways to pleasure each other and share some of innermost feelings and desires.  I think we were both exhausted by the previous punishment week and were each ready to give and receive as much sexual pleasure as possible. That also led to some of the most honest discussions we have had with respect to what we each like.  For example, following are just a few of things that he shared for the first time:

• He really enjoys it when I tease him for long periods of time, not knowing whether I will ruin his orgasm or take him all the way to completion. I was very surprised to hear him admit than even if I ruin his orgasm, it is worth it to have the long period of teasing.
• He gets very excited when I publicly embarrass him as long as it is in front of strangers.  He admitted to  loving the way I sometimes embarrass him in front of waitresses when we are dining out.
• He finds that being made to consume his cum is something that he loves to hate.  He loves having me make him do so, but hates doing it.  (This is something that I definitely plan to pursue)
• He loves to be pegged by me (that one really surprised me)
• He really likes fucking me while wearing his Ride-on penis extender.  Even though he doesn't get much pleasure, he shared that he loves being able to give me vaginal orgasms. (This will also be pursued much more often)
• He didn't really mind being spanked in front of his sister and her partner.  What really upset him was the fact that she took charge of the situation and he felt that neither he nor I had any control. (This revelation completely blew me away.  He had seemed so upset, I didn't realize that it was just limited to my losing control of the situation.  It opens the door to many more possibilities.

I also candidly shared several things with Barry that I had not previously revealed.  They will probably come out in subsequent posts  in subtle ways, but I'm not quite ready to share them at this time.

After the last two weeks, I am finding that Barry has a stronger submissive side that I imagined.  I began to explore them a bit on Saturday when we made a trip to our nearest larger city.  It has a store that I have been wanting to visit for several months now.  It is a private store that carries a lot of Frederick's of Hollywood type lingerie for women, which is what it advertises.  However, I have suspected that it is more than that ... and it is.  I told Barry that we were going into the city Saturday for lunch and a movie.  I really wanted to see "The Artist" before the Academy Awards.  The movie was amazing, and I'm not surprised that it won the awards it did. 

However, our trip also provided time for us to visit the special shop.  It was much more than I expected.  In addition to its "Frederick's" type of products, it also had an area with feminine clothing for men.  It also had a very tasteful display of sexual toys and BDSM products.  To make a long story short, I ended up having Barry try on and purchase a French maid's costume.  I have long been intrigued by Suzanne at All Mine and how she has her husband serve her and her lover.  It was such fun to have Barry try on a maid's outfit and model it for me and the female shop owner.

I also loved being able to explore some the shop's leather paddles.  At one point when the shop was empty, I even gave Barry a couple of playful test swats with one that I liked.  The owner saw me and suggested that I take Barry into the 'back' room where we could experiment with whatever products we liked.  I was quite surprised to find the 'back' room furnished with a straight chair and a spanking bench.  It was quite a bit of fund, and Barry had two sets of red cheeks when we emerged.  (And I bought a wonderful leather paddle that will be a lot of fun for erotic spankings.)  I have to also confess that I loved their spanking bench and I think Barry did, too.

So, it has been a wonderful week, following by a stimulating day on Saturday.  And, we have already begun exploring new activities this week.  Somehow, we have emerged from a week of darkness into a new era.  This past week, it became clear that we were each needing and seeking that.

Susan

That Was The Week That Was

No, I'm not referring to David Frost's satirical news program of the early 60s.  The phrase just felt like an appropriate way express a bit of how I feel about the past week with Barry.  I'm glad it is over and I am trying what I hope will be a better way to move forward.  Throughout the week, I gave a lot of thought to the various comments that so many of you kindly shared, trying to figure out how best for Barry and I to move forward.  He and I had a long talk on Saturday and I feel good about how what we are trying.

The Week That Was
I continued with my plan to make Barry masturbate in front of me multiple times each day throughout last week.  He masturbated or I used my Hitachi on him at least five times each day.  I basically made him periodically masturbate each day until he couldn't get erect or when his climax resulted in no fluid being produced.  When the former occurred, I to used our Hitachi on him.  By Friday night he had a very red and sore penis.  Throughout the week, I required him to masturbate as quickly as he could with no visual stimulation available and with no added lubrication other than his saliva if he chose to use it.  Most of his orgasms were ruined by my grabbing his hand as soon as he started to climax.  His first session each day was normally upon waking up, and I required him to masturbate in a small bottle around lunch time at work and to bring his production home to me to prove that he had complied.  The remaining sessions took place during the evening, beginning immediately when he arrived home.  Being required to masturbate so frequently and in this manner was definitely not fun for Barry.  It was also not a fun week for me, because I also didn't expect or allow him to pleasure me in any way.

By Saturday, I had developed a plan to move forward.  He was surprised when I didn't make him masturbate during the morning.  I told him that we would "talk" after lunch.  As we finished eating we did the dishes together and I asked him to join me in the family room for a talk.  We talked a long time about a lot of things, including why he enjoys masturbating to porn so much and how it makes me feel when he "cheats" on me that way.  I told him that I don't necessarily object to his gaining sexual pleasure by masturbating, but I do object to him doing it without me present or knowing about it.  We even sat together at the computer and watched the video he was watching when he masturbated that day, so he could explain why it excited him so much.  (It was quite unusual, and probably needs to be the subject of a future post.) We talked about things we could do to help him not masturbate behind my back, and he agreed to a set of rules that I proposed.  When we finished, I told him that I planned to punish him again for what happened the previous weekend and that we would then move forward with the new set of rules and guidelines.

New Rules
Following are the rules to which we agreed:
1. Barry will wear a chastity device when I request it, but it will remain unlocked.  It will be an honor system on his part to comply with it.  I feel like he needs to take more responsibility for compliance and not rely on being locked up.  However, I also think the act of physically wearing it demonstrates his submissiveness and it will serve as a reminder to him of his vow to remain chaste for me.
2. Barry will request permission from me prior to removing his chastity device at any time when I have required him to wear it, and I will grant him permission when he asks unless there is a valid reason to not allow it.
3. Barry will tell me whenever he feels a compelling need to view porn and/or masturbate.  We will work together to find a way to meet his sexual needs, as long as they are within reason.
4. Barry will not view porn or masturbate without permission from me and without me being present with him.
5. Barry will also comply with any request or directive I make for him to fulfill my sexual needs.
5. If I suspect that Barry has broken the rule to not masturbate without my approval and presence, I will require him to masturbate in front of me, so that I can assess his ability to perform.  If the amount of fluid produced or the length of time it takes him to climax indicate that  he has recently masturbated without permission (after last week, I have a pretty good sense of the impact of previous masturbation on both of those issues), he will be severely punished.

Saturday's Final Punishment
When we were done talking, I directed Barry to go to the bedroom and remove all of his clothing except his panties and to stand with his nose in the corner.  After he had done so, I came into the room and placed our laptop computer on the pillows of the bed and found the video that Barry had watched.  I set his chastity device and the lexan paddle next to it.  I then bound Barry's hands together in front of him, removed his panties, and made him kneel on the bed and lean forward on his forearms facing the computer and device.  I wanted him to have to focus on what got him in trouble while I punished him.  When he saw the lexan, I could see the look of fear in his eyes.

I was very calm and deliberate as I punished him this time, unlike the previous weekend when I discovered him masturbating.  Before I started with the paddle, I started the video and made him watch it while I used the Hitachi to quickly make him climax.  I didn't want him to have any enjoyment from the spanking, even in the beginning.  When I began to paddle, I didn't provide him with any warm-up.  I wasn't cruel, but I took my time and let the impact of each firm stroke burn in before delivering the next one.  With the lexan, it doesn't take much effort.  I also lectured him about why I was doing this and went over the rules with him, making him restate them to me and agree to follow them.

I also let him know that punishment for any future masturbation violation will be administered with the lexan paddle.  If there is a subsequent (second) violation, there will be two sessions with the paddle on consecutive nights.  For each subsequent violation, another session with the paddle on a subsequent night will be added.  For example if there is a third violation, Barry will be paddled three nights in a row.  Knowing how much Barry hates the lexan paddle, I firmly believe that this progressive type of punishment should provide him with more than enough incentive to not break the rules.

When I finished, Barry was openly sobbing and promising to not disappoint me again.  I untied his hands and we hugged and kissed.  I let him know that he was now forgiven for last weekend.  However, I also reminded him of the punishment he would receive for any future violation.  That night when we got into bed, I told Barry that I needed some sexual stimulation and guided his head downward.  He provided the most loving and caring oral worship that I have ever received from him.

Somehow, I feel that we are back on the right track.  I know it will take time to tell, but things feel better right now.  Thanks again to each of you who commented with suggestions or support.  I can't tell you how much I appreciated your words.

Susan

Fantasy vs Reality

Harry Haversackers provided a very interesting comment to my last posting.  Ir really caused me to stop and ponder a lot of things today.  He insightfully pointed out that Barry's kink that causes him to masturbate is domestic discipline.  That raises the question of whether physical punishment can be effective with respect to making him stop masturbating.  Comments from others  had also pointed in that same direction, but didn't quite grab me.  But, today that question caused me to spend a lot of time in thought.  It compelled me to go back and really think about what excites Barry, and whether I am currently causing him to feel punishment.

As a result of my pondering today, here are my current thoughts.  It is clear that Barry fantasizes about spanking, both being spanked and spanking beautiful young ladies.  It is also clear that he loves to fantasize about a wide variety of kinky sexual activity.  I suspect that some of you might be amazed at the variety of his photo and video collection he amassed on our PC.  I was, and it took me months to come to grips with the fact that my husband had these interests that he never shared with me.

Through this blog and the exposure and feedback it provided, I slowly came to grips with Barry's interests.  I began to explore them.  The good news is that I found that I really enjoyed some of them, which led me to become much more dominant in our marriage.  Three years ago, I could have never imagined doing many of the sexual things that Barry and I now do, or inflicting the pain of a punishment spanking on anyone, especially Barry.  I now love the sexual variety that some of Barry's kinks provide.

I still don't enjoy inflicting punishment, but I have slowly learned that it is one way of controlling Barry.  I say that because I have come to realize that Barry likes to fantasize.  However, I quickly found that when he experienced some of his fantasies, the reality of them was not very pleasurable for him.  For example, Barry has a huge collection of photos and videos of men being spanked very hard.  They really excite him.  But, I quickly learned that when I spank hard, his erection disappears and he begs for mercy.  Fantasy and reality are two very different things.

So, what I have seemed to learn is that Barry has lots of fantasies that really excite him ... and cause him to want to masturbate about them (rather than make love to me). That was a hard pill to swallow.  However, I have swallowed it.  And, I have found that I love being able to control Barry.  That excites me and gives me the ability to make him do things that sexually fulfill me. And, three years ago I could have never forced him to do those things.

I have also learned that Barry's fantasies are not nearly as exciting to him in real life.  Fantasizing about receiving a hard spanking is exciting to him.  Actually receiving one is a completely different matter.  Fantasizing about chastity is exciting.  Being locked in a device is not.  Fantasizing about a controlling wife or partner is exciting.  Having a wife who actually takes charge is not.  And, masturbating is exciting and fun when he can do it when he pleases.  However, being forced to jerk off in front of me, especially when he has no desire to do so, is not fun.

I have also come to realize that Barry does not like to be embarrassed or lose control of a situation.  I think that this issue was a key factor in the situation that developed when his sister spanked him and took control away from both Barry and me.  There was a huge loss of control and huge embarrassment.

So,where does all of this lead me?  I find that delivering a prolonged, painful spanking to Barry is definitely punishment.  I still find it hard to do so, but I know it changes his behavior.  I also find that causing him to lose control by creating embarrassing situations for him is also effective.  From my experience in making him masturbate in a restaurant bathroom, I am inclined to pursue some of the suggestions that others have made.

I have also found during the past couple of days that making Barry masturbate many times each day, and using my Hitachi on him when he can't even seem to achieve an erection are extremely punishing for him.  For example, by the time we went to bed last night, I couldn't even get Barry hard by using the Hitachi.  When I tried to do so, it was obvious to me that it was painful and humiliating.  That reality was far different from what he would have probably fantasized about.

So, at this point, I think I have found a way to punish Barry ... and your support has convinced me that I am correct in pursuing punishment.  It is going to be a long time before Barry receives any stimulation other than from his hand or my Hitachi.  And, any bad attitude will result in a punishment spanking that will not meet his fantasies.

In closing, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback and support I receive from this blog.  I never asked to be put in this position.  However, it has caused me to grow and this community has been a huge part of helping me to do that.

Susan

Making an Impression

I want to thank everyone again for the thoughtful posts and suggestions about my current situation with Barry.  It is becoming clear to me that I need to make a huge impression on Barry.  I am also beginning to believe that I shouldn't have to rely on a chastity device to make sure that Barry follows my rules about not masturbating without my permission.  He should want to abstain because it is what I desire of him.

I have decided that Barry is in for a very prolonged punishment period that is conducted in the manner that I initiated this weekend.  Specifically, he will masturbate upon my command and I will monitor his capability to respond based upon the last time he masturbated.  I plan to make sure that he has no desire to masturbate in between times and cause masturbation to be humiliating and/or painful for him.  I really loved some of the ideas offered, including the use of hot sauce (although I plan to be careful), making him consume his semen on a regular basis, and making him masturbate in public restrooms (quite some time ago, I made him do that at a restaurant and bring his soiled hankerchief back to the table to prove his success).  I have also thought about rubbing a bit of Deep Heat onto the shaft of his penis (not the glans) before he goes to work in the morning.

Yesterday was a busy day for Barry's hand and my Hitachi.  I used his ability to get an erection as my guide with respect to whether or not to make him masturbate.  I would take him to the computer and display some of his photo collection or videos.  If he showed the slightest bit of arrousal, he was ordered to masturbate.  As the day progressed, his output diminished to a dry humping and the glans of his penis were obviously red and irritated.  The last session before we went to bed required the use of my Hitachi vibrator to achieve a climax, after which I applied 25 hard swats with the lexan paddle to his bottom.  That is also going to be part of his punishment routine for the forseen future.

This morning, he was ordered to masturbate upon waking up and again before he left to work.  He was also sent to work with his pill bottle and directed to make a deposit into it at lunch time.  To make sure he could control his orgasm enough to make that deposit, I had him practice several times yesterday.  He finally realized that the only way he was going to succeed was to stop any stroking as soon as he began to climax and let his semen dribble into the bottle.  Essentially, he had to ruin his own orgasm, which was my desire.

When he arrived home for work tonight, you can be assured that he was commanded to masturbate.  He has done so once since then, and I plan to require two more tonight.  I suspect the last will probably require the Hitachi to achieve.  His penis is getting quite irritated at this point, so I will probably allow the use of soothing cream, if I can find any in our medicine cabinet.  Tomorrow, I will visit the pharmacy and purchase something (not because I am concerned about his feeling discomfort, but because I don't want to damage his dicklet.  After all, I still want to occasionally enjoy it.

Tomorrow, I will begin to work in more consumption opportunities.  I have also made it clear to Barry that this routine is going to continue as long as I feel it is necessary and that it will be instituted whenever I feel necessary to assure that he has NO desire to masturbate without my permission.

Based upon Barry's reaction so far, I think I am making an impression and that merely the threat of this type of punishment in the future will be a huge deterrent.  We shall see.  I will also keep you posted.

Thanks again to everyone who has shared thoughts and ideas.  They are all percolating in my head at the moment.

Susan

Caught in the Act continued

First, I want to thank you for the helpful comments/suggestions and confirmation that I was justified in being very upset.  I really appreciate them.  After I finished the first post, I sent Barry to the grocery store in order to give myself some time to think through the situation.  While Barry was gone, I did some exploring on our computer and discovered that it appears that Barry may have been doing this for quite some time on Saturday mornings when I go grocery shopping.  He has a habit of resaving the files he looks at, which puts a new date on the file.  Interestingly many files have dates that are all Saturdays over the past couple of months.  That discovery did not make me happy.

When Barry returned, I left him alone to unload the car and take care of the groceries.  We then sat down for a long talk.  Our discussion was all over the place, starting with Barry professing that he has a masturbation addiction and can't help himself.  However, he decided to not pursue that line of thinking after I told him that I will come to his annual physical with him next week and we can talk to his doctor about the addiction and seek ways to treat it!  He also finally confessed that he has been able to remove the 6000s for quite some time, which also did not make me happy.

After much discussion, I told Barry that the bad news for him is that he is going to be punished for the next week for his transgressions.  The good news for him is that he will not be required to wear his chastity device and he will get to masturbate quite frequently for the next week.  I explained that he will be expected to masturbate upon command for me.  He will be expected to masturbate quickly and according to my directions and that he must not masturbate at any other time.  I further explained that should he not be able to bring himself to climax quickly and with an appropriate amount of semen released, I will consider it to indicate that he has masturbated in between and he will be punished with the lexan paddle.  He will also be expected to masturbate into a pill bottle each day at work during lunch and bring the bottle of semen home to me as evidence of his success.  I decided that it will be difficult for him to get the semen into the small bottle, so he will basically have to ruin his own orgasm in order to accomplish that fete.  What I didn't tell him was that I will make sure his orgasms obtained when masturbating in my presence at home will also be ruined and that I will make him masturbate very frequently.  Since he likes to masturbate, he is going to get to do it more than he ever imagined.

I started his punishment before dinner last night, making him drop his trousers and panties and masturbate as quickly as he could .... and then grabbing his hand as soon as he started to climax.  That routine was repeated shortly after dinner; and I used my Hitachi Magic Wand on him when we went to bed.  At that point, he wasn't able to produce any semen.  This morning, I made him masturbate in the shower before we went to church and again after lunch.  He's not finding it very pleasurable, which is my goal.

I plan to continue this routine, along with some spankings for the entire week.  In the meantime, I plan to explore other chastity options for him.  One option is to go back to his old device, which I don't believe he can get out of.

I'm also deciding what topic to require him to blog about during coming week.  Perhaps our readers have some suggestions for him to address.

Thanks again,
Susan

Caught in the Act

I am sitting here deciding whether or not to post.  I am so upset that I am beside myself. So, I am starting to write as a means of calming down.  At this point I don't even know if I will post this, but I need to do something.    It all started earlier this morning.  Barry was supposed to post an account of last Sunday today.  Actually, he was supposed to do it early in the week, but he never did.  So, when I left the house this morning, I gave him explicit instructions to get it done, or else!  I guess I left the house in a frustrated mood.

I left at 10:30 to get my hair done and then to go grocery shopping for a dinner party we are hosting tomorrow night. After my hair appointment, I realized that I forgot my detailed list, so I returned home to get it.  When I walked into the house (obviously earlier than expected), I discovered Barry sitting at the computer with his panties at his ankles, his 6000s sitting on the desk (with the lock still attached), and his cock in his hand.  My reaction was probably priceless.  I'm not sure what I said, but it was probably something like "What the f - - k are you doing?"  I couldn't believe it, and I still can't.  I suspect that some will think I over-reacted, and perhaps I did.  However, I was really upset.  I still can't believe what I was seeing.  Especially after I gave him what I thought was a very special treat last Sunday night after the Patriots lost.

So, I guess I went nuts.  When I asked my question about what he was doing, we stood there looking at each other.  There was no response other than stopping.  So ... I told him to keep wanking.  I guess that I wanted to watch him jerk off to the computer.  I had to repeat it several times, but Barry finally went back to jerking off to a video of a guy strapped to a table with his penis protruding through a hole, while a woman in a red mask was jerking him off.   I stood there watching as he jerked off onto the floor and then looked at me as if to say "What do I do now?".  Without even thinking, I reacted and told him to get down on his knees and clean it up.  When he went to the bathroom and started to get toilet paper, I knew he had done this before.  I went nuts again and told him to forget the toilet paper and come back and use his mouth.  I don't know if I was surprised that he complied or not.  At that point, I'm was so upset that I'm not sure how I was reacting.  I'm still trying to process it all.

I watched him lick up some of his cum and I told him to go to the bedroom and get our bag of implements.
When he did so, I told him to get on the bed with his bottom up.  I then gave him what was probably a very a tough spanking with lots of implements.  I don't even remember what all I used at this point, but I vaguely remember starting with the ruler paddle and working up and down his bottom and thighs. I also remember using the bathbrush and the lexzn paddle.  And, I remember removing panties from his mouth when I stopped, but I don't remember how they go there.  I guess I was pretty mad.

Barry is now lying on the bed with a very red butt and I'm trying to figure out where to go from here.  As I begin to calm down by writing this, I think I'm going to send him to the grocery store with my list while I figure out what to do when he returns.

Adding some more spice

As you know from my recent posts, I’ve felt like things have been a bit dull the past month, so I am trying to find ways to add some new excitement to our lives.  Last week a new strap-on that I ordered finally arrived.  I had not told Barry about it, so I decided to surprise him Friday night.  It is very similar to my original small strap-on, in that it is very realistic looking and feeling.  However, it is larger than what Barry has experienced to date, without being unrealistic.

I decided to create some anticipation for Barry, so I started by sending him a text Friday afternoon when I arrived home from work.  I let him know that I had a special surprise for him that evening, but didn’t give him any details.  When he arrived home, he started asking about the surprise, but I just told him that he would find out soon enough.  As a couple of hints, I left a Fleet enema bottle on the bathroom counter and a tube of lube on his dresser.  However, I’m not sure if he saw either of them before dinner.  Just before we sat down to eat, I put the strap-on in my harness and put it on under my skirt, which was loose enough to mostly conceal it.  However, if he looked closely he would have seen something was there.

When we got up from dinner, I gave him a big hug, making sure I pressed myself against him.  The look on his face assured me that he felt its presence and I suggested that he go prepare himself for some fun and to make sure he dressed special for me.  That is always our key phrase for him to know I want him to wear more lingerie than just his normal panties.  While he was getting a shower and, I assume, using the Fleet, I changed into a tight skirt which clearly showed the girth and length of my new toy and I placed two pillows at the edge of the bed.  When Barry entered the room, I stood in the middle of the room and motioned for him to drop to his knees in front of me, and suggested that he might like to get acquainted with his new friend.  I then raised my skirt to reveal the new strap-on.  Even though I know Barry enjoys being gently pegged, I could see his immediate apprehension.  With a little encouragement, it didn’t take long for him to be taking it in his mouth and following my directions of worshipping it.  During this time I shared with him that I thought it was time for him to experience a realistically sized cock, instead of the little one we had been using.  I eventually had him stand and I took off his cage, so I could better assess his level of excitement.  His wee pecker was standing at attention so I knew he was ready.  I then took my time with him bending over the bed, making sure that I used plenty of lube and letting him adapt to its girth and length as I eventually let him experience its entirety.  I could tell that he was enjoying it by the way he worked his hips in time with my gyrations.  I didn’t let him use his hands on himself, but when I finished and he stood up, it was clear that there was a significant amount of pre-cum on the pillows he was bent over.  I could also tell that he wanted more stimulation, but I decided that I needed to be satisfied.  I then got on the bed and drew his head to meet my needs and he lovingly took care of them.  I then told him that it was lock-up time, but not to worry, it would be a long and fun weekend …which it was.

On Saturday, I kept Barry in a gartered teddy, matching panties, and stockings all afternoon and evening.  I let him out of his cage most of the time, but kept him busy with household chores which he performed under my close supervision.  I made sure that he didn’t have any free time to get himself into trouble.  I also had a lot of fun periodically teasing him.  I must confess that I truly love keeping him erect and frustrated.  By the time we went to bed, I had locked him up again and I could tell that he was really frustrated.  But, I again reminded him that the weekend was not over yet and there would be more fun on Sunday.

More about last night later, 

Susan

Barry's Time: Life in a Chastity Device

Susan has directed me to begin posting on a regular basis and has strongly indicated that she expects me to share the trials and tribulations of being kept in chastity. This is truly a challenge for me because I am not very adept at sharing my feelings. However, I am going to do my best.

When Susan bought my first chastity device, I expected it to be a fun toy that I would be locked in for a day or so at a time when Susan was not around to assure that I kept my promises to not search the Internet and not masturbate. However, it did not take long for her to decide that I was to be kept under lock and key essentially 24/7 and she has kept that promise for a number of months now. Other than when it is off for cleaning, she only occasionally allows me to keep it off for special outings or while we are sleeping.

Overall, I have found it to be very uncomfortable to wear constantly. Because it creates a constant low level of irritation, I am constantly aware of its presence, which only serves to also make me aware of my genitals and sexual desires. I am also a bit paranoid that it will be visible to others through my trousers, especially in warmer weather when I am wearing thin slacks or shorts.

We have tried two different models. The first was a CB6000 Short, which was initially not very successful when I was overweight. Due to my small penis size it would easily slip off. We then bought an Exobelt V1 which is what I was wearing when Susan first decided I would be locked 24/7. It was very uncomfortable and bulky, but quite effective. It essentially provided a total shield for my penis and scrotum. Fortunately, once I lost a significant amount of weight, my exposed penis length increased sufficiently to where the CB600 Short is very effective. It is somewhat more comfortable, but I am still constantly aware of its presence.

Susan also occasionally uses our Ride-On Prosthetic Penis Extender (PPE) as a chastity device when we are home together. She bought it for extension properties, which made me feel quite inadequate. I have always been very sensitive about the size of my penis (about 3-4" when I am erect). However, she had always told me that size didn't matter that I fully satisfied her. But that stopped after she purchased the Ride-On to alleviate a problem I was having with premature ejaculation (which is only exacerbated by being kept in chastity). Due to my small length and girth when erect, it does not allow me to feel much stimulation during intercourse, making me last as long as she desires. She also found that she loved the deeper penetration it provided. So, now it gets used for two purposes -- to allow me to provide her with a longer and deeper experience, and as a chastity device when we are together in the house. She seems to love watching me walk around sporting a more normal sized penis. Unfortunately, that desire has also caused her to begin talking about wanting to by a soft packer for me to wear around the house or in my bathing suit.

I can't complain too much when Susan gets new ideas and wants to try things. I think I opened Pandora's box when she discovered my collection of photos and videos on my computer. She quickly took on the challenge of learning to spank me (which I love) and she periodically reviews my collection to see what types of things I found exciting. Chastity was one of my collections.

I have slowly learned that I should be careful what I wish for, and that reality is VERY different from fantasy. Many of my fantasies are not nearly as exciting as reality. Chastity is one of those.

Barry

A Special Evening

Since I have the day off from work, I finally have some free time to get back to blogging and sharing some news.

In my last post, I mentioned an interesting time that Barry and I had in a restaurant a couple of weeks ago.  After all of our holiday company had finally departed, we decided to treat ourselves to a special night out at one of our favorite restaurants in a city about a half hour's drive from home, where we don't have to worry about seeing someone we know.  It is a small, intimate Italian restaurant in an old building with an excellent chef and very romantic atmosphere.

As we showered together in preparation to get dressed, I removed Barry's cage and told him that he was in for a very special treat that night, including not having to wear the cage to dinner.  As we finished our shower, I put his Ride-On penis extension on him and told him that I wanted an orgasm before getting dressed, to take the edge off.  With his extension, it didn't take long for him to grant my wish.  I thought about making him keep the extension on for the evening, but decided it would probably be too visible under his pants.  However, I did have something special for him to wear.  I had purchased several Christmas gifts for him that didn't get presented over the holidays due to lack of privacy.  One was a lovely light blue gartered teddy with matching panties, accompanied by a pair of black nylons.  After he opened the package, I let him know that I expected him to wear them under his suit to dinner.  He was a bit nervous about the teddy being visible under his shirt, so I made sure he wore a blue oxford cloth shirt that hid it quite nicely as long as he kept his jacket on.  I then dressed in his favorite garter belt, stockings, shelf bra, and sheer white blouse under a conservative business suit that provided sufficient coverage for the restaurant.

Before leaving home, I told Barry that I wanted him to wear his remote controlled vibrating penis ring and I added the control to my purse.  What he didn't know was that I had another belated Christmas gift that I was going to have him open in the restaurant.  After we enjoyed a drink and appetizer, I presented the second gift.  He was quite embarrassed when he opened the box to find a butt plug.  He quickly closed the box so that no one nearby could see it.  Of course, I then scolded him a bit about not being sufficiently appreciative and told him that I expected him to go to the mens room and insert it.  After he tried to stall, I told him that if he wanted his special treat when we got home, he had better play along with me.  He reluctantly complied, but what he didn't realize was that the plug was also a remote controlled vibrating unit.  As we walked back to our table, once he was close enough, I activated the vibrator using the remote and the look on his face was priceless.  What I didn't realize was that the vibrator was quite noisy and could be heard by the customers at the table he was passing!  Of course, they had no idea what was making the noise, but Barry certainly did.

Throughout dinner, I had little trouble keeping Barry's attention with both remote vibrators.  I confess, I thoroughly enjoyed keeping him stimulated.  Just prior to leaving, I made sure I toyed with both units and when he stood up, it was fun to watch him try to hide his state of arousal.    He mentioned needing to stop by the rest room on the way out and I said that I would do the same.  As we approached the hallway where two small private rest rooms were located, I could see that no one was nearby.  So, when Barry opened the door to the mens room, I quickly followed him in and locked the door behind us.  He started to protest, expressing his fear that someone would see us coming out.  However, it was too late for concern about that, since I was already in the room with him.

I told Barry that part of his special treat would be provided right now.  I took off the top to my suit so that he could enjoy the view and told him to remove his coat and trousers.  When he did, the wet area in the front of his panties made it clear that he had been aroused throughout the evening.  Then, taking his penis in my hand, I told him that we would first take care of why he came to the men's room.  I had never held him to urinate before, so it was a very unique experience for both of us.  I think he was a bit surprised by me moving it around in a playful manner while he peed.  Once he was done, I sat down on the commode and brought Barry in front of me with his panties pulled up.  After retrieving the remotes and turning them on, I began to play with his growing penis through his panties.  I told him that he was going to enjoy multiple orgasms that night, the first of which would be in his panties.  What I didn't tell was that this one was going to be a ruined orgasm.  It didn't take long for him to show signs of imminent climax and as soon as I felt the first convulsion in his penis, I stopped playing with it and enjoyed watching a fair amount of semen ooze out into his panties.  He was clearly frustrated, but smiled a bit when I told him that I just wanted to take his edge off so that he could last longer for his second orgasm when we got home.

We quickly got fully dressed and I left the bathroom first, telling Barry to lock the door again, wait two minutes and them come out.  What I didn't plan on was a woman standing in the hall waiting for the ladies room when I exited.  I just smiled, told her I don't mind treating these bathrooms as unisex facilities rather than waiting in line, and quickly moved on.  I hoped that she would not still be waiting when Barry came out.  However, I later learned that she was still there and gave Barry quite a strange look when he emerged.  He had heard me speak to someone when I exited, but he couldn't tell what I had said.  When the hall seemed quiet after two minutes he had decided to try to exit unnoticed.  I don't know if I will ever do that again, but I confess it provided a bit of a thrill to me and added to the excitement of the evening.

When we got home, I made good on my promise to Barry.  After teasing and toying with him a bit, I told him that his special treat would include actually having intercourse with me without the Ride-On.  Since he had already had one orgasm, he was even able to last long enough to provide me with a vaginal orgasm before he climaxed.

As I mentioned in my last post, my New Year's resolution is to add some more spice in our life this year and the evening felt like a good first step.  In that vein, tonight I plan to advise Barry that I expect him to start contributing to this blog again and will give him an assigned topic about which I expect him to post.  I will also give him a deadline of one week to complete his first assignment.

Susan

Catching Up

It's hard to believe that it has been almost a month since I last blogged.  The holidays took their toll on both Barry and me.  It seemed like we had company for an eternity between our children being home and hosting extended family for Christmas (which is a family tradition for us).  Barry's parent's were here for almost two weeks and his sister and partner also spent several nights.  Once we had the house back to ourselves, we took time to savor our privacy.

However, it now seems like I should do some 'catching up'.


Feedback on New Toys


After posting about receiving the Spanking Buddy and the RealDoe, a couple of you asked for feedback about them.  The Spanking Buddy is definitely a keeper.  I love it, and Barry seems to also enjoy its impact on his bottom.  We each love it when I provide Barry with a very prolonged over-the-knee handspanking, especially if it is not for punishment, but is still one that leaves him with a very red and sore bottom.  The Spanking Buddy makes that possible.  It is definitely not comparable to using a bathbrush or paddle for serious punishment.  However, it provides a much better spank than my hand and it allows me to spank for a very long time.

The RealDoe was less impressive.  I like the way it feels in me (especially with the built-in vibrator) and I have no problem keeping it in place.  I also like its larger size compared to the strap-on I have been using.  The RealDoe provides at least 7" of insertion and the strap-on was purposely purchased to be singificant smaller in order to approximately the size of Barry, but it now seems like we are ready to move to a larger model.  The biggest draw back of the RealDoe is its rigidness and the fact that it is difficult to change the angle of insertion.  That makes taking Barry in certain positions quite difficult and uncomfortable for both of us.  I love to take him while he is lying on his back with his hips at the edge of the bed.  It allows me to watch his face to to use my hands to tease him.  However, that position is almost impossible with the RealDoe.  I also sort of miss the fact that it doesn't have any testicles.  It just seems funny when I look at myself in the mirror.  So, I'm now about ready to order a larger model of my current strap-on.  I will keep you posted.


New Year's Resolution


During the past couple of months, Barry and I have seemed to be in a rut and have not felt the same level of excitement we have previously enjoyed.  Consequently, my resolution was to find ways to bring new ways of playing and enthusiasm to our life style.  I have already started to liven things up a little bit with some mind fucks I've played on Barry.  He seems to enjoy them, so I will continue to explore this area.  I'll share more detail about this in my next post, but I had some fun with Barry while we were in a restaurant not too close to home where we didn't have to worry about seeing anyone we know.  I'd also love to hear mind fuck ideas that others have used or experienced, since this seems like a fun way to keep things lively.

I would also love to have a portable spanking bench similar to what Deirdre uses over at Spanking My Husband.  I love the way it exposes her husband's penis for teasing and monitoring during a spanking session. However, so far, I've not been able to find a source for a bench like this that could be folded up and easily put out of sight.


Barry's Sister


As I mentioned earlier, Barry's sister Carol and her partner spent a couple of nights at our home over the holidays, which they always do.  I was a bit nervous about how things would go, especially since Barry' parents were also here.  However, things were OK.  I could sense some tension on Barry's part when she first arrived, but within a few hours the two of them were bantering back and forth like everything was perfectly fine.  Hopefully that will continue when just the four of us get together the next time.  I really love her and her partner dearly and would like us to be able to continue a strong relationship.


Shaving Barry


I've continued too keep Barry completely shaved, with him being responsible for doing most of the shaving.  I help only with areas that are difficult for him to reach or see.  I love the way he looks, especially when I require him to really 'dress' in full lingerie.  He doesn't seem to mind, but he has raised a concern that he is almost due for his annual physical.  I haven't yet decided whether to let him grow some hair for that.  I am really quite tempted to keep him shaved.  He has also been asking me to let him buy at least one set of boxer shorts or briefs to wear to his appointment.

Best wishes for the new year to all.  I look forward to being back in touch now.

Susan