Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Reclaiming an Erotic Life

As I mentioned in my last post, the past fifteen months took a significant toll on Barry's and my relationship.  Even when we were together, I was too physically and emotionally exhausted to put any significant effort into our sexual activities.  This was especially hard on Barry, but he was very understanding and patient with me.  For obvious reasons, his chastity device was not kept in use.  To my dismay, it became apparent to me that Barry became addicted once again to pornography on the web and masturbation.  However, I really couldn't object, since I was not providing him with any other alternative; and at least he turned to the computer and his hand instead of a relationship with another woman.

However, we are now moving forward.  Several weeks ago we had a long talk about how to rejuvenate our sex life and have begun taking positive steps.  Barry is back in his device full time.  However, its purpose is not to deprive him of sex, but to make sure his sexual activities always include me.  He is also again completely shaved from his waist to his upper thighs; and, at his request, I am also keeping myself neatly trimmed down below.  I am again becoming comfortable taking a dominant role and we are beginning to explore the concept of 'devotional sex', which allows each of us to focus completely on providing the other with pleasure.  I will try to share more about that later as we move forward.

Thanks to those who have commented and offered kind words of support to my last post.  It is good to be back.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Susan,

    I think that things which might normally frowned upon -- like excessive masturbation or pornography consumption -- can be excusable when in the midst of an illness or other life crisis. In times of stress, one needs to find an outlet and sex/masturbation can be effective stress relief. That's especially true for men, I think. As you say, compared to cheating, it is clearly the lesser of two evils.

    I am glad to hear that you are starting to be able to focus on each other. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.