Tuesday, February 21, 2012

That Was The Week That Was

No, I'm not referring to David Frost's satirical news program of the early 60s.  The phrase just felt like an appropriate way express a bit of how I feel about the past week with Barry.  I'm glad it is over and I am trying what I hope will be a better way to move forward.  Throughout the week, I gave a lot of thought to the various comments that so many of you kindly shared, trying to figure out how best for Barry and I to move forward.  He and I had a long talk on Saturday and I feel good about how what we are trying.

The Week That Was
I continued with my plan to make Barry masturbate in front of me multiple times each day throughout last week.  He masturbated or I used my Hitachi on him at least five times each day.  I basically made him periodically masturbate each day until he couldn't get erect or when his climax resulted in no fluid being produced.  When the former occurred, I to used our Hitachi on him.  By Friday night he had a very red and sore penis.  Throughout the week, I required him to masturbate as quickly as he could with no visual stimulation available and with no added lubrication other than his saliva if he chose to use it.  Most of his orgasms were ruined by my grabbing his hand as soon as he started to climax.  His first session each day was normally upon waking up, and I required him to masturbate in a small bottle around lunch time at work and to bring his production home to me to prove that he had complied.  The remaining sessions took place during the evening, beginning immediately when he arrived home.  Being required to masturbate so frequently and in this manner was definitely not fun for Barry.  It was also not a fun week for me, because I also didn't expect or allow him to pleasure me in any way.

By Saturday, I had developed a plan to move forward.  He was surprised when I didn't make him masturbate during the morning.  I told him that we would "talk" after lunch.  As we finished eating we did the dishes together and I asked him to join me in the family room for a talk.  We talked a long time about a lot of things, including why he enjoys masturbating to porn so much and how it makes me feel when he "cheats" on me that way.  I told him that I don't necessarily object to his gaining sexual pleasure by masturbating, but I do object to him doing it without me present or knowing about it.  We even sat together at the computer and watched the video he was watching when he masturbated that day, so he could explain why it excited him so much.  (It was quite unusual, and probably needs to be the subject of a future post.) We talked about things we could do to help him not masturbate behind my back, and he agreed to a set of rules that I proposed.  When we finished, I told him that I planned to punish him again for what happened the previous weekend and that we would then move forward with the new set of rules and guidelines.

New Rules
Following are the rules to which we agreed:
1. Barry will wear a chastity device when I request it, but it will remain unlocked.  It will be an honor system on his part to comply with it.  I feel like he needs to take more responsibility for compliance and not rely on being locked up.  However, I also think the act of physically wearing it demonstrates his submissiveness and it will serve as a reminder to him of his vow to remain chaste for me.
2. Barry will request permission from me prior to removing his chastity device at any time when I have required him to wear it, and I will grant him permission when he asks unless there is a valid reason to not allow it.
3. Barry will tell me whenever he feels a compelling need to view porn and/or masturbate.  We will work together to find a way to meet his sexual needs, as long as they are within reason.
4. Barry will not view porn or masturbate without permission from me and without me being present with him.
5. Barry will also comply with any request or directive I make for him to fulfill my sexual needs.
5. If I suspect that Barry has broken the rule to not masturbate without my approval and presence, I will require him to masturbate in front of me, so that I can assess his ability to perform.  If the amount of fluid produced or the length of time it takes him to climax indicate that  he has recently masturbated without permission (after last week, I have a pretty good sense of the impact of previous masturbation on both of those issues), he will be severely punished.

Saturday's Final Punishment
When we were done talking, I directed Barry to go to the bedroom and remove all of his clothing except his panties and to stand with his nose in the corner.  After he had done so, I came into the room and placed our laptop computer on the pillows of the bed and found the video that Barry had watched.  I set his chastity device and the lexan paddle next to it.  I then bound Barry's hands together in front of him, removed his panties, and made him kneel on the bed and lean forward on his forearms facing the computer and device.  I wanted him to have to focus on what got him in trouble while I punished him.  When he saw the lexan, I could see the look of fear in his eyes.

I was very calm and deliberate as I punished him this time, unlike the previous weekend when I discovered him masturbating.  Before I started with the paddle, I started the video and made him watch it while I used the Hitachi to quickly make him climax.  I didn't want him to have any enjoyment from the spanking, even in the beginning.  When I began to paddle, I didn't provide him with any warm-up.  I wasn't cruel, but I took my time and let the impact of each firm stroke burn in before delivering the next one.  With the lexan, it doesn't take much effort.  I also lectured him about why I was doing this and went over the rules with him, making him restate them to me and agree to follow them.

I also let him know that punishment for any future masturbation violation will be administered with the lexan paddle.  If there is a subsequent (second) violation, there will be two sessions with the paddle on consecutive nights.  For each subsequent violation, another session with the paddle on a subsequent night will be added.  For example if there is a third violation, Barry will be paddled three nights in a row.  Knowing how much Barry hates the lexan paddle, I firmly believe that this progressive type of punishment should provide him with more than enough incentive to not break the rules.

When I finished, Barry was openly sobbing and promising to not disappoint me again.  I untied his hands and we hugged and kissed.  I let him know that he was now forgiven for last weekend.  However, I also reminded him of the punishment he would receive for any future violation.  That night when we got into bed, I told Barry that I needed some sexual stimulation and guided his head downward.  He provided the most loving and caring oral worship that I have ever received from him.

Somehow, I feel that we are back on the right track.  I know it will take time to tell, but things feel better right now.  Thanks again to each of you who commented with suggestions or support.  I can't tell you how much I appreciated your words.



  1. Miss Susan,

    Barry is one lucky husband to have such a loving and caring wife. I think your course of action was appropriate and the new rules should be effective. Congrats on surviving a tough week and making your relationship that much stronger.


  2. Susan,
    Barry is extremely fortunate to have such a loving wife. Barry seems to know in his heart that when left on his own he is unable to control his desire for immediate sexual gratification. His need to be under your loving authority seems genuine. It's difficult for an adult male to acknowledge that he behaves like an unsupervised child. I have two recommendations.
    1 - Install NetNanny.

    2 - Regardless of how indignant he may get, ask his sister if she would be willing to babysit when possible to drive home the point that he can't be trusted to be alone.


  3. Susan, it has taken me several years to come around to your point of view, but I FIRMLY believe that Barry's sexual gratification should be "handled" by you so that you are an integral part and the ONLY source of Barry's gratification--after all, he is married to you and by his own vows, should be CHASTE for you!! He should not be the master of his gratification, but he should DEPEND upon you for his gratification!! On the other hand, when he comes to request gratification, you should NOT deny him; otherwise, he will be forced to gratify himself!!! Thus, the "vicious circle"!!

    Keep up the good work!! This man, like all other men, has desires, and they should be "handled" by their wives!!!!!!

    Just sayin'


  4. Wow

    Thanks for sharing, you are amazing, Ma'am


  5. Susan,
    Firstly thank you very much for sharing, we've benefitted greatly from your excellent description.
    One point though, I notice your relationship seems to be more based on punishement as opposed to Barry serving you. I feel this causes him to deliberately be naughty and can take the focus away from you in that you are his disciplinarian but he isn't really serving you.

    Kind regards