Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Getting Our World Back Together

The past fifteen months have been an extreme challenge and caused me to disappear from this blog.  I should have shared why I disappeared at that time, but my physical and emotional energy didn't allow me to do so.  I don't want to go into too many details, but the challenge was finding a way to care for my mother.  We had previously successfully helped Barry's parents move into an assisted living complex; and they are doing well.  However, shortly after their move, my mother's health deteriorated rapidly and there was not an easy solution.  Luckily, I was able to take a leave of absence from my work to go and care for her.  That was the good news.  The bad news was that we had a long road in front of us.  She was going to require long term 24 hour help, which she and our family could not afford.  So, my sister (who lives near her) and I decided that we could find a way to do it.  That decision turned out to be a wonderful gift to all of us, but also a physically and emotionally draining time for my sister and me.

To make a long story short, with Barry's support I ended up traveling halfway across the country to be with my mother.  And, Barry somehow eventually found a way to obtain a new position in that area.  So, last December we moved! (leaving our beloved New England).  What we expected to be a very long haul time-wise became much shorter when my mother suffered a fatal stroke this spring.  It was a blessing to her, but I am still grieving.  I am just now becoming able to begin to return to somewhat normal living.

This entire situation was something I would have never asked for in my life.  However, in the grand scheme of life it has been a wonderful experience.  It was amazing to have to care for my mother in ways that she cared for me as an infant.  However, it also had a huge impact on Barry's and my relationship; but we have survived it and are coming out of it.  For fifteen months, my focus was my mother.  That changed all we had been doing prior to her downfall.  But, we are now getting back to being able to focus on each other ... which is another gift.

I am going to try to get back into blogging, since I think it will be helpful for me.



  1. Dear Susan,

    My condolences on the passing of your mother. I am glad that you were able to find joy in caring for her.

    Welcome back to blogging. And whether it be through blogging or though something else, I hope you are able to find a helpful outlet as you grieve and begin to return your focus to your marriage.


  2. While it's nice to see you return, I'm sorry to hear of the death of your mother. My best wishes for you and your family as you move forward.

  3. Hi Susan,

    My best wishes and thoughts to you. It is an era we are just entering into, so it is good to hear something of how you won through and saw its blessings.

    Re blogging. I think a few of us have found that we have said all we can think of to say re the DD lifestyle, and that causes blogs to go quite, like ours. But I personally feel that there is huge value in us DD's sharing all of our lives and journeys. So I'm glad your still here and plan to carry on sharing whatever you wish, whatever is it about I will value it.

  4. Thank you Robert, AJR, and Scally for the kind thoughts and words. It feels good to try to get back to blogging and it is nice to know that there are still some readers that are aware of this blog.


  5. Hi Susan,
    So good to hear from you again, you had one of my favorite blogs and I have missed hearing from you.

    My condolences too on the loss of your mother. It sounds like the trying experience did provide an opportunity for family bonding that would not have happened otherwise.
    My wife was able to assist with her father's last year by providing one day a week of support while her numerous siblings covered the rest.
    I have a neighbor who is caring for her mother and her sister has moved from Florida to help while leaving her husband in FL. That must be a tremendous challenge for the marriage.
    I hope that you will be able to start enjoying your marriage as you had been when we last heard from you.

    Your followers will be happy to support you.


  6. Wow! It's so good to see you back again! I'm truly sorry for your loss. I'm sure she is in a much better place now.