Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Assessing this Transition Time

It has become clear to me that Barry and I are in a transition time.  We took over a year out from our personal relationship to care for my mother.  I can not begin to express how important it was for me to do that; and how thankful I am for Barry's support.  However, since I am not currently employed, I have had time to reflect upon what we went through and where we are now.

Part of that reflection has made me understand the difficulty we are each having in getting back into the FLR that we had just started to enjoy.  But, we are moving in the right direction.  Sometimes it is difficult for me to be the dominant partner.  However, other times it feels very comfortable.  I had gotten to a very comfortable level before my Mother became so ill.  I am just now getting back to that comfort level and realizing how much Barry needs me to be dominant in our relationship.

It was hard for me to do what I did Saturday night with Barry.  However, it had a very positive impact upon how he treats me.  I will try to share more about that in a later post.  What I need to share at this moment is that I am seeing a huge change in him this week.  It is clear that Saturday made a huge impression on him.  We are moving in the correct direction.

This transition is difficult for each of us.  Barry is giving up control and it seems like that it is beneficial to him.  I'm learning how to be dominant again and am finding that I enjoy it again.  Being dominant is something that is very different that how I ever imagined myself ... so I have had to learn to accept that it is a good thing for Barry and me.

I hope to build on what I learned from this past weekend.



  1. What you did on Saturday night was perfectly acceptable.The fact that his attitude and behavior was improved proves that.


  2. So nice to read you are slowing coming back, take your time and be happy.

  3. It seems like you're doing an amazing job of handling a difficult and at times uncomfortable situation!

  4. So glad your back and things are starting to settle down for you again.
    Getting back into the FLR is important I think to you and Barry. Go slow and watch how happy the both of you will be to "be back"! My personal thoughts about Barry's "alone time" is to keep him in a belt full time (sorry Barry)and only allow him pleasure when you allow it and how you allow. 24/7 in a belt and Barry will be snapping back into the FLR sub role very quickly..:)