Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Power of Role Play and Prostrate Stimulation

I very much appreciate the comments and suggestions submitted concerning Barry's ED.  It is not a fun thing for either one of us, but we are working together to find ways to address and deal with it.

Last weekend, I decided to try something as a surprise to Barry.  I hoped that the surprise factor might be helpful.  We had not used 'role play' for quite some time, so I decided to so.  After dinner on Saturday evening, I suggested that he go take a shower, put on his suit, and meet me in his office. When he arrived, I was dressed in a business suit and assumed the role of his boss. I confronted him with evidence that he had been spanking his female subordinates and also spending significant time surfing the internet sex sites during his work time.

I'm not going to go into details, but he agreed to do anything I asked rather than lose his job.  My requirements included his being spanked and pegged. It didn't take long for him to have a raging erection, which pleased both of us.

As we get older and deal with things like ED, one of our adages is "Never waste an erection". Needless to say, we didn't.

So, now the question is what caused his reaction?  Was it the role play or the pegging?  Will it continue? (I plan to find out). I also hope to explore other options.

Who knows where this will lead and whether or not the same thing will work again. However, we are both encouraged.

We continue to learn and grow.



  1. My wife and I were having a great sex scene this past weekend. She had me tied up and used a crop and belt on me. I had a raging erection. She didn't waste it and rode me. Then she tied me over a bench, gagged me, then pegged me. She used her magic wand vibrator on my penis and I had a mind blowing orgasm as she pegged my ass. This was my first orgasm in 11 weeks.
    Afterwards she said that I wasn't erect when I came. I couldn't really tell since there was so much going on at the time, but it sure worked for me!
    Role PLAY can sure be fun, thanks for sharing with us.

  2. We have found that talk provides the extra excitement needed as we both age. Role play is all about verbal, so that might have been the trigger. Your taking charge might also have helped, taking pressure off of him to preform.

    Our particular issue was not getting it up, but keeping it up and the little blue pills worked for that.


  3. Hi Susan,

    Nice to virtually meet you! I haven't read through your blog, so I don't have good context for your situation, but I'll throw something out. For me - a late forties sub to my wife, we have discovered my natural rhythms for how often i orgasm. Generally about once every 11 days. First I would suggest you both figure this out for Barry (perhaps a little longer?). Secondly, as we all know the greatest sex organ is the mind. You obviously hit some triggers with the role play.

    For us, were sort of 24/7, but we have agreed that she is the domestic queen and I obey at all times Until recently I had a problem with subtly topping from the bottom but I got my head straight there - finally. By accepting this in both of our minds there is always an edge for me. It's like I m 25 again, with morning erections, etc. The key though is I feel safe being me (submissive) to my wife. As a result I consistently have my wife's needs on my mind. Every day I give her a massage, kiss her feet, bring her flowers, do a chore without being asked or do at least one thing to express my submission. I absolutely love to kiss her ass while massaging. She also display her authority daily. This was the topping from the bottom part for me. I no longer question or play games, I just obey. If I fall short at all she will paddle my ass, which starts off exciting but she doesn't mess round here and it is not sexual from her perspective - just effective.

    So, essentially we are in a quasi-role play daily. This is extremely stimulating to me mentally. That said, 90% of the time we are just "normal", but our house is an acknowledged matriarchy. So, maybe you could try an agreement that you are his boss 100% of the time, and "make" him do something everyday that tickles his sub bone. Find out what that is and then enjoy being served like the queen you are. Make his spankings realistic and give him weekly discipline (straight from Elise Sutton). Lastly, ask Barry to commit for a month and make it clear to him no topping form the bottom, just 100% submission with an end date. Then go from there.

    Obviously by your recent role play Barry is submissive. So sit him down and make list of all of the things that trigger him. Being spanked o pegged is typical, made to wear panties and clean the kitchen, etc. It's the little daily things though that keep the edge. Non verbal commands are exciting to me like finger snaps. Also, you could experiment with little things like commanding him to bring you some lemon water. Call him over and just tell him kneel in front of you naked (I'll bet he'll be erect) and then send him off on a chore. All this with accumulate and stimulate him a little every day to keep the edge until the release date.

    OK, I could go on, but let me know what you think and if you would like additional commentary. From what I read you seem like a very beautiful and caring wife who deserves to be treated like the queen you are!

    Take care,

  4. Glad to see you 2 are coping well with ED, and are finding ways around this.
    We have this little problem too, but it can be made less impossible by role play, more intimate stimulation and medication, though the latter for us is not medically advised.
    So mutual masturbation and the use of a strap-on for when Matt is feeling especially masterful.

  5. I began giving my husband a spanking about three years ago. It was a playful birthday spanking. It went from playful to exciting because I was surprised to find that as his cheeks got red, I got excited. Now I spank him once a month. He's not thrilled but I get really hot so he deals with it.

    I don't know why spanking him excites me.

  6. Here's an off the wall ideal. I have done something similar for my husband's premature ejaculation problem. Set up regular "training sessions" for him. Stroke and tease his cock. If he doesn't get hard within a set amount of time, give him a spanking as "punishment". If your man is anything like mine he'll get off on the embarrassment of it (maybe not physically erect, but mentally and it will be fun). Mine would even get off on being verbally abused a bit by me for his "little problem". Of course, we make it clear that it's a scene, and in "real life" we think he's all man! If you're given lemons, make lemonade!

  7. I'm unsure about some point in your message.. Did your husband get a raging erection after being told about pegging, so the erection was a result of exciting talk, or did you actually peg him and the pegging produced an erection?

    In our case, when she pegs me we generally finish with vaginal intercourse. Except in rare cases pegging alone does not get her to orgasm.

  8. Dear Susan

    It seems to me Barry's ED has more of a mental than a physical cause.
    I think when it would be physical, he would not have gotten a firm erection at all whatever you do. Stress maybe?
    Giving up control when getting spanked/pegged can have a stress relieving effect.
    I think trying to lead a healthy lifestyle to remain fit, modest on alcohol, no smoking, healthy food, a good body weight, plenty of exercise, in order to overcome ED is better than viagra and stuff like that.
    Taking cold showers works good for me, it is said it stimulates circulation and increases testosterone production.
    And as he is a spankee, regular spankings by his loving wife are a must. :)

    All the best,

  9. Several years ago I had to give my husband several enemas the day before he was having some tests. I had never given anyone an enema. I was worried but went to the pharmacy to buy an enema bag. Very embarrassing handing an enema bag to a teenager at the register.
    I told my husband to get naked from the waist down and lay on towels on the bed. I had my friend come over because she a nurse. When we came into the room and he saw her holding the full bag he pleaded no. She had him kneel on all fours and put his head down. Poor guy was totally exposed. She then gave him the enema and made him hold it. She did it three times. It was sort of exciting for me. Not him-he was totally limp.
    Then she had me try. First I lubricated him and practiced putting the nozzle in and out. Then I gave him an enema. I got so excited my panties were wet. What a surprise. Now its monthly enemas for him. For some reason it get extremely excited.

  10. Love your blog. Thanks for sharing. You write well. hot stuff too....

  11. We miss you ..... I Miss you .... please come back!