Monday, October 25, 2010

A Defining Moment, Part 2

When I left Barry kneeling in front of the mirror and said I would return, I must confess that I didn't know what I was going to do.  All I knew at that time (or at least thought I knew) was that I was going to take charge.  I also knew that taking charge would be a completely new role for me.  I really felt I could do so, based on Barry's response to what I had done earlier.

So, I walked out of the bedroom, leaving Barry kneeling in front of the mirror with instructions to not move until I returned.  I returned to the family room and the computer.  I knew I needed to figure out what he had been looking at, so I accessed the browser history and poked around.  I am not very PC savy, but I am not afraid to try things.  I have learned how to explore the browsing history and I did so, and found lots of interesting things.

I saw that Barry had explored a tease and denial type of site (I can't remember any of the specific site names at this point).  I also saw how he explored various "teases" offered.  He apparently chose the one that I found him watching when I walked into the house, so I watched it.  It was amazing to me that he wanted to watch a woman who would tell him when and how to touch his penis; and then type something into the PC to tell her he had done it and ask to be allowed to climax, only to have a programmed response tell him "No, he could not climax".  I just watched the video in amazement, entered random responses, and each time received a reply that "No, I could not cum".  I couldn't believe it, and could only think about what would make him do that. I tried to put myself in Barry's shoes and figure out what he was seeking; and what I was not providing to him.  It became apparent that he wanted/needed more sexual stimulation than what I was providing; and that he wanted/needed someone to control him.

I then explored earlier browsing history on that day.  He had been exploring an X video site and it looked like he had searched for "femdom handjobs"; and then accessed a number of videos.  I looked at several of them and found them amazing.  They all seemed to be about a male being bound in various positions and then sexually teased.  It seemed like in all cases that once the male was allowed to climax he was continually stimulated, even though it seemed to be painful to him.  In some cases, he actually climaxed a second time.  This was all new to me.  I had never seen Barry have a desire for sex after we made love before, let alone climax a second time.  Was this something he wanted?  Was it something a male could do?

I eventually decided to return to the bedroom and have a discussion with Barry.  When I arrived, he was still kneeling where I left him.  I told him that we needed to talk and led him back to the bed and over my lap.  I thought I would have his attention in that position, especially if I had the hairbrush in my hand.  I definitely did, because he quickly had an erection as I started a conversation and threatened to spank him if he didn't interact with me.  That amazed me, because I never saw him get arroused within 24 hours of having sex.  This was less than an hour and a half after he had previously masturbated and been spanked.

I talked with him about the websites I observed; and he eventually admitted how much they arroused him.  I guess that I was not surprised.  However, it hit home to me that Barry was much more stimulated manually than by my vagina.  I didn't like that thought, but it became my reality.

So ... it became another defining moment in our relationship.  I told him to lie on his back on the bed, which he did.  Much to my surprise, he assumed a very submissive position with his hands above his head and his legs spread.  I must confess that it was very exciting for me, but I also needed to figure out what to do next.



  1. Hi Susan:
    You should read the site: Disciplinary Wives Club. This sounds like what Barry desires desparately. Read the site thoroughly and start executing. Also you must read Elise Sutton's sites. These will answer most of your questions. I found this out as I was directed by my husband and the dominatrix he took me to who taught me all about this. Yes a male when under control can have multiple orgasms within an hour and deliver when you deliver the right mind trip. My husband does this on command.

  2. Susan,

    I agree with Rachel, great idea. Also, how about a contract with him? Make him put in writing but at the same time he may be a bit of a brat and trying to tweek you into harder and longer spankings. But take control, it is what we love. However, he needs to understand that it is hurting you a little bit as well and even with the spankings, you are being hurt.

    See if Rachel's suggestion helps and again like I said before, maybe set some scenes up catching him. It may lighten the mood.

    Good luck and he is a very lucky man to have you.


  3. Coming from a man's point of view? This is not hard to believe and in fact I too much prefer a hand job from a woman as opposed to traditional sex. Can't explain why but I do know the most powerful orgasms I have ever had have come from hand jobs. The woman was skilled at knowing when I was ready to finish but would prohibit such by stopping the stimulation. This doesn't have to go on for long but if you can bring him to the edge 6 or 7 times before letting him get off I think you both might be surprised at the reaction and how drained he might feel. I will also say that for some men it is not uncommon to not be interested in "traditional" sex more than once a day or even once a week. I know I am NOT, but by the same token, I have become aroused, climaxed and then repeated another 3-4 times in 24 hours even in my late 30s. Best of luck and hope you keep posting.

  4. Interesting take on this from the last blog. There is no doubt that the orgasm as stimulated by hand for both sex is very intense and while I enjoy a nice hand delivery, wow, nothing better than entering and sharing yourseld with the woman you love and the woman who just spanked your bottom red!


  5. Rachel - Thank you. I am familiar with DWC, but was not aware of Elise Sutton. I will explore her site as well.

    NJSpanks - Thanks, and I agree. I have actually taken much more control since when this situation happened. I have been sharing this event, which occurred when we were first starting this new relationship, so other women can benefit from the types of thoughts I was having and what I did.

    Anonymous - Thank you for the additional perspective. It makes sense, based on what have seen with Barry.

  6. Thank you Susan,

    This is why your blog is so good and your lines are so appreciated, you are making an effort to help all of us.

    Thanks for sharing