Saturday, October 23, 2010

A Defining Moment

About five or six months into our journey, a situation occurred that was very defining for both Barry and me.  We had talked a lot, had seen a counselor, and had been enjoying spanking activities.  I was working very hard to try to become a spanker for Barry and to undestand and be comfortable with his varied kinky desires.  As part of our agreement, he promised to give up looking at internet porn sites and masturbating instead of making love with me.  I had suspected that he was not being faithful to his promise, because the frequency of his desire to make love to me was again decreasing.  There were several times when the browser history file was deleted by someone other than me and I spanked Barry for it, but I don't think it made much of an impact on him.

However, things significantly changed on a Saturday afternoon.  I had a luncheon date with two of my colleagues and I planned to go clothes shopping at the mall after lunch.  However, when I arrived at the restaurant and didn't find my colleagues, a telephone call to one of them revealed that our date was the following Saturday.  So, I quickly did some shopping and headed home.  When I arrived, Barry apparently didn't hear me come in the front door and didn't greet me, which I thought was odd.  So, I quietly made my way to the family room, to see Barry standing in front of the computer with his pants on the floor beside him, and a hand towel spread flat on the desk chair, which was to his left side.  He had his back to me, and still didn't realize I was home.  So, I just stood in the doorway and watched.  He was pleasuring himself in whatever way a woman on the computer was instructing him.  I couldn't see her, because Barry was standing in front of the computer.  But her instructions were loud and clear.  She would tell him when to start, when to stop, how hard to stroke, whether to stroke his entire penis or just play with the head, etc.  She would tell him to ask for permission to cum and he would type in a request on the computer.  When it was denied, she would continue with her instructions.

I was mesmerized, but also wanted to cry.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  While I took all of this in, I tried to figure out what I should do.  I finally gathered my courage and announced my presence.  Barry turned to look at me and immediately stopped.  I wish I could have a picture of his face at that moment while his hand was still on his penis.  However, I remember it clearly, as well as what I said to him and what we did. 

Barry immediately stopped what he was doing and started to put on his underwear.  I directed, "No.  Don't stop!  I want to watch what you do.  I want to see how making love with your hand is better than making love with me, especially after all of the effort I have made the past few months."  I now realize that this was a defining moment for me.  I had decided to take charge of Barry and his problem.

He stood still for what seemed like forever and finally said "Please .... please don't make me do that."  He was pleading with me to not make him do something.  I now realize that was a defining moment for Barry.  He had decided to be submissive to me.

I'm not sure what I thought at the time, but it is clear that I had made the decision to take charge of Barry and he had made the decision to accept my control.

What transpired from there is also etched in my memory.  I walked over to Barry and took his underwear from him and placed his hand on his penis.  I pointed to the computer and said "Follow her instructions.  I'm going to watch closely. I want to learn".  I then sat down in a chair next to the computer desk and watched.

Barry followed her every instruction and was finally given permission to cum, which he promptly did on the towel on the desk chair.  He turned to me with a very sad look and said "I'm sorry".  I don't know what made me do it, but my response was "You are about to become very sorry".  I then directed him to go to the bathroom, clean up, remove the rest of his clothes, and meet me in the bedroom as quickly as possible.  While he did that, I obtained a towel from the linen closet on my way to the bedroom, and then found the wooden hairbrush we found in an antique shop.  I then sat on the edge of the bed, placed the towel over my lap to protect my skirt, and picked up the hairbrush.  The look on Barry's face when he walked into the room was priceless.  I didn't know it then, but now understand that after climaxing in the family room, he had no sexual desire to be spanked.  However, there I was, waiting to spank him with a heavy, thuddy implement that was not what he liked even when he was excited.   There was no erection that normally existed when I spanked him.

I pulled him over my lap and began to scold.  That is something that he likes me to do when I spank, but I normally don't do it very well.  However, at this moment I had something very meaningful to scold him about, and I let him have it as I began to spank his bottom very hard with the wooden hairbrush.  There was no playful spanks.  There was no warm up.  There was no intermittent rubbing like he normally enjoys.  I just laid into him, alternating from one cheek to the other at first and then delivering five or ten smacks to each cheek before switching.  I don't know how many I delivered or long it was.  But, I do know that I was holding him tight with my left hand and had my right leg clamped over his legs before I was done.  I also know that he was sobbing before I was done.  I had never heard him cry.  Even now, that was one of the few times that Barry has cried when I have spanked him.

When I finished and Barry was lying like a rag doll across my lap, hugged him from behind, but told him to kneel on the floor in front of the mirror on the closet door.  I walked over to him and guided his arms to behind his back.  I then told him I wanted him to remain in that position staring at himself in the mirror until I returned.  I also told him that I loved him, but that I was not yet done with him.

I then returned to the family room to explore the browser history on the PC and see what else Barry had been reviewing that afternoon.  What I found gave me the idea and the courage to do what I did next.


  1. I really enjoyed reading your account of this episode. I can see why you'd be upset. Your husband broke your trust and it sounds as though he paid a well deserved price for it. I look forward to reading the next post.

  2. this was an outstanding post. I would suspect that it was truly punishment and not for his erotic pleasure. the fact that you had him masturbate as he did, was probably very embarrassing to him. excuse me but this was a turn on for me in what you did and how you did it....

  3. Miss, if you have read our story you'd know that Mistress found pics of me dressed as a sissy and it almost destroyed our marriage. It took years to rebuild and from the time she caught me I was always true to her. It wasn't easy but the reward now is that we live an incredible FLR and I am her sub.

    I'm proud of you for posting this and Barry should be ashamed. Most wifes would not put the effort in to not only save the marriage but to also change and accomidate her husbands desires.

    There has got to be a show of good faith and honestly even when you are not home.

    I'll show this post to Mistress and ask her to comment as well.


  4. Barry is a very fortunate man.

  5. I knew my husband would do that so I put a stop to it fast. He wears panties only (I threw out all his male underwear) and stockings. If he is not erect then I assume he flew solo (masterbated). Then he will wait in the corner until I am ready. On the last night he did this I left him all night in the corner standing and then at 6 am he was spanked and then sent to work: no shower, shave, or breakfast. That evening he got spanked again in the diaper position. Try it, very effective. Even in our 60's he still is erect and knows whom to serve. Enjoy your blog.

  6. What a great posting. I totally understand your motivation and your realization. When punishng my
    husband I now demand he masturbate before i take brush or riding crop to his bottom. It is only then it becomes punishment. Only then are you indeed,the one in charge.
    Keep up the good work!

  7. I truly feel for you putting all that work into the relationship only to be rewarded in that way. I hope you keep at it though and make it work.

  8. Susan,

    That was a moving post, well written and told us all a story we should remember. I too am sorry that he broke your trust but you clearly handled it the right way. Perhaps, may I suggest you use this as a scene for you two. He seems to like playing on the computer and maybe you set some similar scenes but instead of the computer making him finish you do ti after anther serious otk brushing.

    Hang in there and I hope you can sort it out. He is a very lucky man to have such a caring partner. Dont spare that brush and use it hard. It is what we want you to do.

    Thanks for sharing and good luck.


  9. It is a very refreshing feeling to know that there are women like yourself out there that care enough about their relationships and marriages to venture into an area they had never considered in the that most would consider "taboo" and still others "sick". Not only have you taken charge but you have reviewed it so thoroughly and can see the benefits it has for your marriage. Women seem naturally better suited and in the area of intimacy and cohesive partnerships so in my opinion, it seems also natural that they should take charge and lead us males in a direction we really do wish to go...we are just clueless most of the time. :) Having experienced a sound bottom blistering after climaxing I agree that it is 10 times more painful although, getting spanked without climaxing is no picnic in my case either. I will concede that I definitely was more aware of my behavior and attitude as well as here expectations for much longer after the former. I am also honored to see my very own red bottom so prominently displayed on your wonderful blog ;)

  10. Thank you woodpoone. It was not easy for me to make the transition. However, I realized that if I wanted to have a sound relationship with Barry, I needed to try. Little did I know how much I would enjoy becoming more dominant!

    I am embarrased to ask you which red bottom is yours. Is it the one in the middle picture of this post? If so, it looks very much like Barry's :-). I will also confess that I worry a bit about using Barry's photo collection, since I never know if we are violating copyright laws. So far, I don't think we have used any that were identified with a logo. If we do, I plan to give credit like you so nicely do with a link. Is that an acceptable approach in this media?


  11. Yes ma'am, the very red one in the middle receiving a sound hair brushing :) Most of the pictures you find were posted on the internet by the owner for promotional purposes so while they believe that copyright protection applies (as does a certain organization which attempts to police such things) it is highly unlikely they would prevail in a court of law simply because it was them that posted the picture to begin with. It is a courtesy that I post links as I am not interested in taking any credit for their work and I believe whole-heartedly in giving credit where credit is due. :)

  12. Thank you for your story . I find it hard to find real couples ..
    my hubby told me about your blog, so I came to read it.. and I sure have to say.thanks for being real, and I also dont like the browser history file was deleted.I will keep reading your blog

    Bill's spanker :)