A Defining Moment

About five or six months into our journey, a situation occurred that was very defining for both Barry and me.  We had talked a lot, had seen a counselor, and had been enjoying spanking activities.  I was working very hard to try to become a spanker for Barry and to undestand and be comfortable with his varied kinky desires.  As part of our agreement, he promised to give up looking at internet porn sites and masturbating instead of making love with me.  I had suspected that he was not being faithful to his promise, because the frequency of his desire to make love to me was again decreasing.  There were several times when the browser history file was deleted by someone other than me and I spanked Barry for it, but I don't think it made much of an impact on him.

However, things significantly changed on a Saturday afternoon.  I had a luncheon date with two of my colleagues and I planned to go clothes shopping at the mall after lunch.  However, when I arrived at the restaurant and didn't find my colleagues, a telephone call to one of them revealed that our date was the following Saturday.  So, I quickly did some shopping and headed home.  When I arrived, Barry apparently didn't hear me come in the front door and didn't greet me, which I thought was odd.  So, I quietly made my way to the family room, to see Barry standing in front of the computer with his pants on the floor beside him, and a hand towel spread flat on the desk chair, which was to his left side.  He had his back to me, and still didn't realize I was home.  So, I just stood in the doorway and watched.  He was pleasuring himself in whatever way a woman on the computer was instructing him.  I couldn't see her, because Barry was standing in front of the computer.  But her instructions were loud and clear.  She would tell him when to start, when to stop, how hard to stroke, whether to stroke his entire penis or just play with the head, etc.  She would tell him to ask for permission to cum and he would type in a request on the computer.  When it was denied, she would continue with her instructions.

I was mesmerized, but also wanted to cry.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  While I took all of this in, I tried to figure out what I should do.  I finally gathered my courage and announced my presence.  Barry turned to look at me and immediately stopped.  I wish I could have a picture of his face at that moment while his hand was still on his penis.  However, I remember it clearly, as well as what I said to him and what we did. 

Barry immediately stopped what he was doing and started to put on his underwear.  I directed, "No.  Don't stop!  I want to watch what you do.  I want to see how making love with your hand is better than making love with me, especially after all of the effort I have made the past few months."  I now realize that this was a defining moment for me.  I had decided to take charge of Barry and his problem.

He stood still for what seemed like forever and finally said "Please .... please don't make me do that."  He was pleading with me to not make him do something.  I now realize that was a defining moment for Barry.  He had decided to be submissive to me.

I'm not sure what I thought at the time, but it is clear that I had made the decision to take charge of Barry and he had made the decision to accept my control.

What transpired from there is also etched in my memory.  I walked over to Barry and took his underwear from him and placed his hand on his penis.  I pointed to the computer and said "Follow her instructions.  I'm going to watch closely. I want to learn".  I then sat down in a chair next to the computer desk and watched.

Barry followed her every instruction and was finally given permission to cum, which he promptly did on the towel on the desk chair.  He turned to me with a very sad look and said "I'm sorry".  I don't know what made me do it, but my response was "You are about to become very sorry".  I then directed him to go to the bathroom, clean up, remove the rest of his clothes, and meet me in the bedroom as quickly as possible.  While he did that, I obtained a towel from the linen closet on my way to the bedroom, and then found the wooden hairbrush we found in an antique shop.  I then sat on the edge of the bed, placed the towel over my lap to protect my skirt, and picked up the hairbrush.  The look on Barry's face when he walked into the room was priceless.  I didn't know it then, but now understand that after climaxing in the family room, he had no sexual desire to be spanked.  However, there I was, waiting to spank him with a heavy, thuddy implement that was not what he liked even when he was excited.   There was no erection that normally existed when I spanked him.

I pulled him over my lap and began to scold.  That is something that he likes me to do when I spank, but I normally don't do it very well.  However, at this moment I had something very meaningful to scold him about, and I let him have it as I began to spank his bottom very hard with the wooden hairbrush.  There was no playful spanks.  There was no warm up.  There was no intermittent rubbing like he normally enjoys.  I just laid into him, alternating from one cheek to the other at first and then delivering five or ten smacks to each cheek before switching.  I don't know how many I delivered or long it was.  But, I do know that I was holding him tight with my left hand and had my right leg clamped over his legs before I was done.  I also know that he was sobbing before I was done.  I had never heard him cry.  Even now, that was one of the few times that Barry has cried when I have spanked him.

When I finished and Barry was lying like a rag doll across my lap, hugged him from behind, but told him to kneel on the floor in front of the mirror on the closet door.  I walked over to him and guided his arms to behind his back.  I then told him I wanted him to remain in that position staring at himself in the mirror until I returned.  I also told him that I loved him, but that I was not yet done with him.

I then returned to the family room to explore the browser history on the PC and see what else Barry had been reviewing that afternoon.  What I found gave me the idea and the courage to do what I did next.