Sharing from a previous vanilla wife about her struggle to incorporate spanking and other kinkiness in her marriage; and how it has grown to much more than that. Life is a journey and should be enjoyed.
It was not easy getting started, but I was determined to actively pursue Barry's interests in spanking and discipline. We spent a lot of time talking together, as well as reading blogs and exploring internet sites together. The first time I tried to spank him it seemed like a disaster (now it just seems hilarious). I had no idea how to spank someone and I was very afraid of hurting him. This picture is probably a pretty good representation of what I was doing and how I looked. I was pretty lame. Thanks to Barry's patience and teaching, I have learned a lot since then and sometimes now give Barry more than he probably originally was bargaining for. He and I have each learned a lot.
One of the things that Barry first shared with me was his desire to be spanked for real life offenses or events in his life. He wanted me to spank him in a loving, caring way, but firmly in a way that would help him change behavior. The only problem was that he didn't have many faults, so it was hard to find good reasons to spank him. We settled on two initial rules that he must follow, or face the consequences of a spanking. The first rule involved his only real fault prior to me learning about his addiction to internet spanking sites. He has a hard time keeping his eyes off other women's behinds. So the first rule was "If your eyes stray, your bottom is going to pay". I told him that any time I caught him staring at someone's bottom, he would be spanked. That rule still earns him a lot of spankings, even today.
The second rule concerns the internet. I told him that he is not allowed to search or view spanking or porn sites or his collection of spanking photos and videos on the computer unless I am present with him. We look at things together! I learned that he had amassed quite a collection of files from the various blogs and sites he visited. It is from those files that I am including a few pictures in these posts. My main reason for making him view spanking material only when I am present is to assure that if he is going to get any pleasuring during or afterwards, it is going to be by me. So, he was also instructed that he is not allow to clear the internet history or temporary files on our computers. Only I am allowed to do that, so I can monitor what sites he has visited. I made it very clear that if I find the history cleared, I will consider that to mean that he has been visiting prohibited sites alone and he will be soundly spanked.
During our initial spanking activities, I also talke with Barry a lot about what types of things excite him, such as my dress, positions, implements, ritualistic activities. I have worked hard to incorporate dress, implements, and techniques that help provide a meaningful spanking and will discuss more about those items in later posts.
We have come a long way and are now incorporating various other punishment techniques into our discipline sessions. They have come about from us sitting at the computer together where I can see the types of things that excite him. More about those later as well.
Once we started, we have clearly been on a journey together and our sex life has now never been better. What was frightening at first feels second nature now.