Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fun vs Punishment Spankings

When I first learned of Barry's interest in being spanked, he told me that he wanted be spanked for real life events and that he wanted the spankings to be severe enough to cause a change in his behavior.  It took me a while to be able to spank Barry very hard, but as I became comfortable with it, I found that I actually enjoyed doing it.  I guess because I knew that he wanted to feel pain gave me the OK to administer it.  I also found that I like the power and control it conveyed to me.  I also learned that the moment I mentioned anything about spanking Barry, it created an immediate sexual arrousal on his part.  I quickly found that he usually maintained his arrousal throughout the spanking, which was quite surprising to me.  As a consequence, most of our early spankings were more of a "fun" variety than punishment for Barry.  I found that his behaviour didn't really change; and I suspected that he was actually purposely behaving in order to get me to spank him

So, after exploring some blogs on my own, I decided to make his punishment spankings for the two established rules very different.  We sat down and talked about my plans and he agreed with them (although, I'm not sure he realized what he was getting himself into).

Here is how Punishment Spankings are now handled. When Barry has broken a rule, I advise him that he has earned a punishment spanking and let him know when it will be administered (usually that evening). I knew from websites that he had visited that Barry had an interest in wearing ladies panties, so he must immediately put on a pair of punishment panties which I have purchased for that purpose and wear them until the spanking is administered.
 I usually supervise his putting them on, so that I can assure compliance.  Even though he knows where this will lead, he is always very erect when he changes into them.

When the time comes for his punishment, I always like to remove his trousers as part of the punishment ritual.   He is always erect.  By the looks of the dried results of his oozing on the panties, it is clear that he has been erect and excited most of the time since putting them on.  I can only imagine how he survived a day at work when I tell him about an upcoming punishment first thing in the morning.  Sometimes I wait until the morning to advise him of a punishment, just so he has to wear panties to work.  I must also confess that I love to see his hard penis constrained by his panties.  I usually can't resist teasing him a bit, both verbally and physically about how excited he is and that he had better enjoy it at his moment, because it won't last much longer.

Since Barry usually maintained an arroused level through his spankings, the next step in his preparation was implemented to assure that he would truly receive a punishment spanking.  Before the spanking begins, the sexual arrousal must be removed.  We have done this using several methods, including making Barry masturbate as quickly as possible or by my milking him, either slowly or quickly. 

Lately, I have been using a vibrator like the one pictured.  I like the fact that it seems more mechanical and it is VERY effective.  I normally use it while he is still wearing the panties,and he ends up making quite a mess of the nylon or satin material, depending of which type of panties I have made him wear.  I also like the fact that Barry seems embarrassed by me using something like this and the fact that he does not have any control over how quickly or slowly I make him climax.  Sometimes it is fun to do it slowly :-).

Once the arrousal has been taken care of, Barry is no longer very interested in being spanked, which makes it very easy to give him a spanking which will have an impact on him.  I normally take him over my knee with his panties still on, since I love to see his bottom encased in nylon or satin.  I also usually remove my skirt before doing this, so his soaked panties don't make a mess of my clothing.  Barry is usually promising to be good even before I start the spanking, because he has learned that being spanked after having climaxed is not a fun experience.

I like having Barry over my knee for these types of spankings, because it provides a better sense of close contact between us and it allows me to maintain more control of him when he starts struggling. Being able to use my leg to clamp one of his legs is extremely helpful.  I can also hold his right hand behind his back when necessary.   That is usually only necessary when I use a brush similar to the one in this photo.  He finds that implement the most difficult to handle.  This photo also provides a good example of the level to which I spank Barry for these punishment spankings.  He bottom becomes very nicely reddened, especially in the lower "sweet spot" area, but is never bruised or experiencing broken skin.  By taking away the sexual arrousal, it is easy to get his attention without spanking too hard.

 When we're done, it is also very easy to take him in my arms and comfort him and assure him that I still love him.  He is always very contrite by that time, having promised over and over again that his behavior will change while he pleaded with me to stop.  His behavior does usually change for a while, lasting longer than it did before I implemented this new way of spanking for punishments.

We still have fun spankings from time to time, which we both really enjoy.  They are always administered in a way that allows Barry to be arroused throughout the spanking, which he loves.  I normally wear something very sexy for them,
which adds to his arrousal.  I also like to have him in a position that allows me to  keep close contact with his genitals to check on and increase his arrousal level.  I love being able to play with him in between spanks.  Allowing him to rest his chest on the bed also makes it a very comfortable for him.

So, we currently use two very different methods of spanking as our primary methods, depending on whether the goal is fun or punishment.  I don't thnk Barry ever expected the true punishment type when he opened this area of interest with me.  His fantasies were very different.  However, he will also agree that it what he asked me to do.  I have also begun to add new twists to his punishment and am continuing to seek new ideas.

I would also love to hear feedback from others re: methods you use.


  1. susan: you are using a method that many claim is extremely effective. I know it would be in our relationship, but we have yet to try it.

  2. Post-orgasm spankings are nasty. That's just vicious.