The First Changes

I would like to first welcome those of you who have indicated that you are following this blog; and to thank those who have shared comments of encouragement.  I am hopeful that my thoughts and words will be helpful to others, as well as to myself as I try to work through where I am and how I got to this point in my relationship with Barry.  I never dreamed that I would be doing some of the things I now do with him, let alone be thoroughly enjoying it.

I thought I would share a bit more about the spanking activities that Barry and I are currently enjoying, since it was the first major and probably the most significant change we made to rejuvenate our marriage.  After I caught Barry at the computer and discovered the history of websites he had been viewing, along with his huge file of pictures, it was very clear to me that spanking was the central part of his fantasies.  It also became clear that if I wanted to be successful in making him want to have sex with me more than the computer, I would need to find a way to be part of those fantasies.

We started out very slowly, with me trying to learn how to spank.  I had never spanked anyone in my life, and it was completely foreign for me to inflict pain on another being.  However, Barry was patient with me and constantly assured me that he would let me know if I did anything that he didn't want done to him.  I must confess that my first attempts were pretty lame.  But, as I gained confidence and saw the positive reactions it produced from Barry, I actually began to enjoy it.  It was fun to watch Barry's bottom turn red and to see his reactions

Our first spankings were definitely 'play' spankings.  We still primarily spank for fun, but the 'play' spankings have gotten much harder and longer.  They definitely provide a significant level of discomfort to Barry's bottom and leave it bright red.  We also implemented punishment spankings, which I mentioned in an earlier post.  They are applied if Barry breaks either of the two clear rules I have set for him; or if he does something which I a clearly upset about.  However, those things don't happen as often any more, probably because they have truly become punishment spankings and they are not fun for Barry.

We have spent many hours over the past few years talking about what aspects of spanking that arrouse Barry, and I have tried to incorporate everything I can into the process.  These include my dress, the implements and positions I use, the rituals I employ, the types of things I say before and during a spanking, etc.  As I continue to share posts on this blog, I will attempt to talk about many of them individually in order to explain the types of things we do and why.

Tonight, I thought I would share a little bit about some of the things I do for my pleasure when spanking Barry.  First, I have grown to love seeing him in panties, especially tight and sheer panties.  I love watching his bottom turn red through them and feeling his penis and scrotum through them. 

As part of that, I don't enjoy seeing hair, so I keep Barry cleanly shaved from his waist to his midthighs (everywhere).   Sometimes I make him do the shaving.  But most times, I do it, because I love making him stand in front of me and allowing me to use the razor on his private parts.  I also especially love spanking him immediately after shaving his bottom and rubbing after shave lotion on it.  It is so sensitive and turns red much more quickly!

I also love to have Barry in a position where I can see and feel his package, so that I can sexually tease him during the spanking, as well as evaluate where he is with respect to pain vs. pleasure.  That is more difficult when he is wearing panties, but not impossible.  The panties also usually come off as the spanking progresses.  As much as I like watching his bottom through sheer panties, I also like getting my hands on his bare behind and genitals.  Checking on him during a spanking drives Barry wild (and me, as well).

Deidre, at SpankingMyHusband.blogspot. com has a wonderful bench that she uses for her husband.  It allows her to pull his penis backwards into view while he is secured to the bench, so that she can constantly monitor his state of excitement.  I may seriously consider something like that for punishment spankings.  However, that needs to be a topic unto itself.