I initially found the Devotional Sex website and shared it with Susan. I thought it was interesting and I was fascinated with the idea of Susan controlling my sexual urges and needs. Much to my surprise, she expressed interest in the concept, so we began to play with her being in charge. I have to admit that it is very different than I imagined. It gave her an opportunity to make sure I knew what she liked and didn't like about our sex life. It also provided her with the boldness to make sure I knew what she enjoyed; and didn't enjoy. It became a real learning experience for me. I quickly learned that I had not come close to meeting her sexual needs because I had been so focused on meeting my own.
So, that is where we started. I decided to embrace the concept and I worked very hard to understand her needs; and to try to meet them. That was probably the best decision I have every made. My sense is that because I worked hard to sexually please her, she has worked equally hard to please me. The outcome is that we now each are working hard to please each other, instead of just looking to be pleased.
However, let's also think about some of the practical aspects from my perspective. There are times when Susan leaves me 'high and dry'. I am completely frustrated. I am completely horny, and she says "It's time to stop". That was initially not fun at all! However, I slowly came to the realization that my needs would eventually be met at a level much higher than I ever imagined during our previous years of marriage. That has been a true gift to me from my wonderful wife. And, I have learned to please her, which I know has been something she never dreamed I would be able to do.
So, here we are ... just having retired. We have the most free time we have ever had. And, we have learned to please each other. Life couldn't be better. Of course, I still get frustrated when Susan say "It's time to stop". However, I have also learned that by focusing on her, she now also focuses on me. And when she does, it is wonderful.
Bottom Line: Devotional Sex has taught us how to please each other and we both benefit. I wouldn't change it for the world.