Growers vs. Showers
I read these terms some place and realized that Barry is clearly a "grow"er. His penis is quite small when flacid. However, it increases significantly in size when he becomes aroused. Other men apparently are quite large all the time (hence a "show"er). It seems that when they become aroused, their penis becomes hard but does not increase a lot in size.
I don't understand why there is this difference. I do know that it used to cause Barry some embarrassment about the size of his penis. When we were first married, he didn't like me to see him when it was flacid. Since penis size was never a big deal for me, it didn't bother me at all. Barry was always able to please me sexually, which is what mattered.
Are my readers aware of this difference? Do the men fall into one category or the other? Are there any concerns about size by the "grow"ers?
Testicle Size and Scrotum Characteristics
This is another area that I have notices can vary at different times with respect to Barry. When he comes out of a hot shower, his testicles seem much larger than normal and hang very low in his scrotum. At other times, his testicles seem significantly smaller and are higher. And, still at other times they seem to almost disappear. Does anyone else notice these differences?
"Shrinkage"
I will always remember the "shrinkage" episode of Seinfeld in which a friend of George's girlfriend walks into the bedroom where he is changing from his swimsuit. George is very concerned that she saw a very small penis (due to "shrinkage" while swimming) and will tell his girlfriend. Barry also experiences this. Sometimes, his penis can be extremely small when flacid. However, it always grows to his normal size when he is aroused.
Is shrinkage a concern for my male readers? How do your partner's feel?
Shooting distance and Volume of Fluid expelled
Does anyone else notice a difference in these two aspects of the male climax? I have noticed that as Barry gets older, these two characteristics have decreased. When we were younger, if I gave him a handjob, he would shoot at least six feet and it seemed like he always had a huge volume of seminal fluid. These days, the distance is a matter of inches and the volume is much less. I'm assuming this a a factor of age.
ED
Do I dare mention the "unmentionable"? After Barry's heart attack, ED became very apparent ... and we understand from the cardiology literature that it is quite typical. His issues have greatly improved, which is not always the case. I have tried to deal with it by creating different ways to get him excited, and it seems to work. Do any of my readers have experience in this area? If so, what have you done.
Needless to say, the male genitalia are a curious thing. I'm glad that I have come to fully love and enjoy Barry's.
Susan
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteYour post was very interesting. My husband is a "grower" as you say. It's amazing how large he will get when aroused versus when his penis is flaccid. I also understand the ED. My husband had a heart attack and then bypass surgery when he was 42. He bounced back okay but now as he nears 56 ED has been a problem. I viewed much of the trouble being caused by weight gain and his expanding belly as well as alcohol consumption. He has completely cut out the alcohol and we are trying to eat a little healthier which has helped a lot. Stress is also a big factor with ED. Good luck.
I'm certainly a "grower". My penis can shrink quite a lot in certain conditions (e.g. cold), yet the erect length seems to be slightly above average. My circumference seems definitely above average (when we hooked up, my wife commented that she felt more "filled" than with her very limited list of previous boyfriends).
ReplyDeleteScrotum size and testicle position also vary, though I don't know why. Hot showers and baths seem to result in relaxed scrotum and hanging testicles, as with your husband. Other circumstances result in shriveled scrotum.
With age, I get less spontaneous uncontrollable boners, though this sometimes happens.
Regarding semen volume and ejaculation distance, I remember that when I was young I risked getting semen in the hair when I jerked off. These days (> 40 years old) this does not occur anymore.
When I think about it, my measurements may be off, and here's why. When I'm at home, my wife prefers that I do not masturbate (she prefers almost daily intercourse), and my ejaculations thus occur mostly vaginally. I masturbate only when on business travel away from my wife, which is generally a stressful and tiresome situation (jet lag).
Regarding "dysfunction": it is somewhat embarrassing for me when my erection is not what I would like it to be. This seems related to stress and tiredness. The best solution is probably to lead a healthy life. ;-)
Since you are interested in male genitalia, especially your husband's, you might wish to take a leaf out of my wife's book.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I like to "play doctor". One aspect of that is that my wife, once in a while, examines my genitals: proper hygiene, proper retraction of the foreskin, testicles (palpation for lumps) and finally digital rectal exam of the prostate, with a glove or finger cot and lubricant.
Also, anal stimulation tends to get me hard, so my wife tickles my anus if my erection is insufficient...
Interesting topic. Here are my thoughts:
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a grower. My flaccid size varies ALOT. I suppose when undergoing shrinkage, the shaft really does get quite small but not much difference with the head. Being small like that is irksome and damaging to self-esteem. I naturally have a lot of pubic hair, and there were times when I would swim, have the shrinkage, and then the pubic hairs would engulf my member. Very uncomfortable and embarrasing! That's one reason why I continue to trim my pubic hair.
Since I go to the gym alot, it's hard to avoid seeing other men's genitals. And it's intimidating. Some of them are hung so much more than me. I have seen some "showers" that are longer and thicker when flaccid in the gym than when I am fully erect.
I guess the focus on flaccid size is simply that most men never see another man erect, except in porn. And we naturally compare things.
My scrotum also gets higher and tighter if it's cold. I think that's a natural reaction to protect the living tissue. That's not a big deal to me. After we were first married, my wife told me that my testes move up right when I am about to ejaculate. Funny, I never knew that.
Shooting distance and volume has decreased a lot. One time in college, a girlfriend gave me a handjob and I literally shot over my head. Six feet seems like a lot, my guess is I have probably shot 4 feet. The volume has also decreased a lot. I think there is something inherently sexy about a big, powerful load. I would say that both distance and volume is correlated to the intensity of my orgasm. Not always the case, but a general relationship. Both do increase when the duration between orgasms is longer and if I am teased a lot in between ("edging" right before an orgasm really increases this).
I don't have ED per se. But my erections have subsided. Morning wood is a pleasant surprise now. I couldn't go for a 2nd round once, with about a 2 hour rest time. That was really frustrating. I have begun taking L-Citrulline supplements, and I would say that it hasn't hurt. My flaccid size seems to be on average a little more, and I believe I did perform back to back OK.
Having said all that, I do believe men are far more hung up about this then women. My wife has never complained about my size at all.
Hi Susan, and commenters,
ReplyDeleteAs a 64 yo experiencing some of the same shortcomings, I just wanted to comment.
'Morning wood' was only a distant memory until I started taking fermented cod liver oil. I guess it sounds funny, but what a difference! The next morning was wow, where did this come from? I use the Green Pastures brand only.
Been taking it for 4-5 yrs now; it's still good.
I also use a Hitachi Magic Wand to vibrate the testicles, prostate and the shaft for 20 minutes 2 or 3 x a week. I figure it's good for general maintenance and testosterone production.
Thank you for your efforts!
Tom
I'm sure that Barry is delighted to have his testicle descent, growth spurts, semen amounts splashed all over the net!
ReplyDeleteHowever, after a heart attack, medication and general feeling that you are checked on by the medical profession, it can sometimes lead to generally low sexual self esteem. I know as we have been through it.
Cut down drink, exercise a lot, lose weight, eat healthy, all play a part.
But we found several changes had to be made.
In love making be in control of your own orgasm, either on your own or with your partner. Never ever thinks it's too much trouble to have sex; that way marital breakdowns happen.
Explore Viagra etc with your doctor; in my case he/she said it's risky.
Get a hollow strap-on for those times you really want to be forceful and not cuddly as in mutual masturbation.
If. by chance, you get a woody, which I do with spanking MrsB, use it, don't delay it.
Good luck.
I had not seen all of these comments to Susan's post about the male genitals until she told me about the wonderful response her post had generated. I have just read them and I want to say thank you to all of the men who have shared. We have a lot in common! It is great to hear of others who experience the same things I do as I age. I also appreciate the suggestions about dealing with occasional ED episodes.
ReplyDeleteI also want to let "thefolkswholiveonthehill" know that I am fine with Susan sharing these details to her readers who don't know me. It is good to be anonymous :-). I am also learning to not be embarrassed about my penis size and my decreasing ability as I age. The important thing is that I satisfy Susan. I feel very comfortable that I am doing that these days, which is a change from our previous years.
So, thank you for supporting Susan in her blog and sharing your stories that also help us.
I will try to become more active in her blog.
Barry
Pardon my curiosity, but since we are discussing the curiosities of male genitalia... is Barry circumcised? I'm French and my wife is American and she had never seen an intact male before me (except in pictures), so she was quite intrigued.
ReplyDeleteHi Pecan. Yes, Barry is circumcised. My sense is that most US born males are, which is different from Europe. I have not had any experience with an uncut penis. Do you have any sense of differences for the man or woman during sex?
ReplyDeleteSusan
Indeed, that's also my understanding that almost all US males born in my wife's generation (early 1970s) were circumcised at birth.
ReplyDeleteIn France, circumcision is as far as I know never done at birth, but may occur later either for religious reasons (Jews or Muslims) or medical reasons. There is a condition known as phimosis where the foreskin does not retract. Apparently in the 1970s doctors believed that if a boy reaches age 7 and still cannot retract the foreskin, the first step was for the doctor and mother to try to forcibly pull it back (a painful situation, I'm told), and if unsuccessful the boy was circumcised. A cousin of mine ended up in this situation (phimosis, unsuccessful attempts by the mother to retract, surgery), and my mom was afraid I could have the same (her attempts at retraction were successful, albeit a little difficult). I'm told that they nowadays they let phimosis reduce itself naturally with erections and masturbation and only act if it still exists after puberty.
Hygiene is slightly different (well, I've never had to deal with a cut penis so I can only imagine). Following this incident, my mom was adamant that when I washed I had to fully retract the foreskin and wash with soap underneath. I'm told that for men that don't wash, some kind of smelly sticky white goo accumulates under the foreskin. But, hey, my wife told me of an early boyfriend, who wanted fellatio even though his penis smelt bad - being circumcised is not a reason for not washing!
So my wife is also a big fan of washing me there (full retraction).
With respect to sex, my wife did not have much experience before me and it was all with condoms so it adds another layer... Masturbation seems easier since the woman can grab the foreskin instead of directly dealing with the glans, which is easily injured. Vaginal sex seems the same. For fellatio, it is probably different but my wife did not have enough experience to compare (she tends to pull the foreskin back fully during that act).
I read that circumcision results in a hardened glans, thus less sensitive (longer time to ejaculation), fewer bacterial or viral problems but a increased risk of mechanical irritation (chafing on clothes).
I've researched the topic and it seems the gooey stuff is called "smegma". Since I wash daily (as momma told me) I have never come across something like that.
ReplyDeleteI've taken some camping trips where I could not really wash but I don't remember how my penis was at the end.
Susan, do Americans still get theirs sons circumcised at birth, in general?
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law was very surprised when changing our son's diapers that he was uncut. In fact she had never seen an uncut penis. Then she asked why we didn't have it done. My wife asked why we should have had it done. Her mom said uh... it seems cleaner and healthier, otherwise, why does everybody do it in the States?
Yes, she likes circular reasoning!
Another remark on genitalia. My wife claims that she can feel whether I've last ejaculated a long time (several days) ago or recently by feeling my testicles; apparently, if the last ejaculation was not recent they feel a little more swollen.
ReplyDeleteI should conduct a self-study on this.
Hi Pecan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing so much information about circumcision. It is far more than I ever knew.
I assume that it is still customary in the US to circumcise at birth, but I don't really know. Our youngest son was born over thirty years ago!
And, your wife's observation about being able to tell by feeling the testicles if it has been a long time since if you have ejaculated. I think I will also do a bit of research. As a side note, when I mentioned this to Barry, he remembered his mother checking his testicles to see if he was ill. She told him that testicles hang lower when you are sick. I suspect that is an old wives tale, but who knows.
Susan
I suspect this is an old wives tale, but there might be a reason behind it. Mumps, a common childhood infection, is usually benign but can also infect the testicles; in adult males this can lead to a major problem there and to infertility. I think a sign of infection there is swollen testicles and that means seeing a doctor as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteI think I got my testicles palpated twice: once in childhood at once at military service (apparently one needs to have two descended testicles to serve in the army).
May I ask a question to Barry and you about masturbation on a circumcised penis? How is it possible? I would think the hand would chafe the glans? Isn't that painful?
(I was under the impression that circumcision had been promoted in the US in the late 19th-early 20th century to deter children from masturbation while still allowing marital vaginal intercourse. Then it became so routine that parents such as yourself did not even have to question the procedure.)
Sorry for talking about circumcision so much, it's just that I got this impression from this incident with my mom and my aunt that I came somewhat close to ending up circumcised myself. So it was a bit of a scare.
ReplyDeleteWhen a teenager I believed that only Jews and Muslims circumcised their children, plus those with medical reasons, and I was totally amazed to learn, as an adult visiting the US, that most males there were routinely circumcised at birth.
I was also amazed by these enemas mentioned by my future wife - to me it seemed XVIIIth century medicine. Until I saw that all drugstores stocked these 2 quarts enema bags, plus an entire row of disposable enemas.
Susan, about never having had to deal with an uncut penis: before me, my wife had never seen an uncut penis (except as some grainy photograph).
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother-in-law diapered our son she was shocked and asked why on earth we did not have him cut (it's cleaner! healthier! that's how we do it in the US!)...