Last night Barry and I had a discussion about my blog and the types of things I should post about. He suggested that I do a series of posts about how things have changed in our sex life since we began this journey. He also expressed is love and gratitude for how much I have changed and how open I am now to trying new things and finding ways to please him.
I liked his idea, because it makes a lot of sense. However, I also shared with him that I have some hesitancy to write about these types of details with respect to myself. It is much easier to write about Barry then to be so open and candid about my thoughts and actions in the bedroom. However, I've decided to give it a try. This is my first attempt to share more details about how I've changed in our relationship and sexual activities.
Until Barry and I began our sexual journey several years ago, I was very prudish about sex and not very open to experimentation or anything other than the basic missionary position. I abhorred the doggy style position primarily because of the name. It seemed to reduce sex to an animalistic act. I allowed Barry to try anal with me on one occasion, but also deplored it, so he never pushed it again.
I still can't say that I would put either of those options high on my list of preferences. However, I now am able to enjoy them enough to not consider them taboo and I am willing to indulge in them to please Barry. Anal (whether it is Barry penetrating me or me pegging Barry) was the toughest for me to deal with. However, by following several procedures I have been able to eliminate most of the negativism that kept me from being able to do it. Following are the procedures we follow:
Prior Preparation: Before we engage in any anal activity, the receiver always thoroughly cleans their rectal area and lower colon. We use either a Fleet enema or a large enema bulb that we purchased at our pharmacy. That reduces most of the mess that can come with anal intercourse and also eliminates the possibility of have stools become impacted from the penetration.
Lubrication: The receiver is always thoroughly lubricated prior to penetration. If it is Barry, he takes care of doing that for me. If it is me on the receiving end, he also gently takes care of it. We use either KY Jelly for Barry or a desensitizing product such as Anal Eeze for me. These types of products contain some lidocaine which helps make the penetration more comfortable.
Condoms: We always use a condom, either on Barry's penis, my strapon, or any anal toys. This makes clean-up much easier and less messy. It also helps make sure that there is no cross contamination if we move from anal to vaginal sex.
Partner Awareness: We are each extremely careful to be fully aware of how the receiving partner is feeling during the penetration. If there is any pain, we immediately adjust appropriately.
A few years ago, I would have never imagined that I would allow Barry to penetrate me in this way or that I would use a strap-on on him. It is still not something that I would choose, but it has also become an important part of our lovemaking.
Susan
All of that information was very helpful Susan. Thank you. one thing I learned from your post is that your husband enjoys being penetrated anally. As a submissive husband I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that I enjoy that as well. In fact, i love it. Not so much the penetration itself or the fullness that is associated with (which I do love) but more because of the intimacy that is associated with it. When Mistress K. uses her strap on on me, I always prefer to be either be on my back (so I can look into her eyes and feel as though I am her slut) because it feels to me like she is making love to me, or i prefer to be on my tummy. When she takes from behind, we usually start out with me on my knees and I will always ask her if I can lay flat on my belly while she does her best to me. It is such a submissive position and takes me completely to subspace while I'm being fucked by my owner. I just love it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as lubrication goes, we always use a water based lubricant and we also have a syringe that can be used to inject lubrication into my (or her) anus. It doesn't require much but is very helpful. And yes, ALWYS use condoms. if for no other reason, clean up is a lot easier.
Congratulations on having evolved to this level of intimacy in your marriage.
I really love your blog.
Best
SHIP
As a submissive I enjoy her taking me. For me it shows my submission to her. having said that let me say anal is not comfortable for all as it was not for me at the start. What helped me enjoy it was the use of butt plugs and her fingers for awhile before we used just her strap on. she still uses butt plugs at times and her fingers but mostly her strap on. Myself I don't care for the term "doggy style" but she does like to be taken that way and began to call it ridding her. It was wonderful hearing your thoughts on sex play please tell us more.
ReplyDeletearchedone
Sorry I forgot something very important. prior to her giving me anal I always give myself an enema then shower and at times when she desires anal I'll give her an enema. KY is our favorite lube and all anal is done with condoms.
ReplyDeletearchedone
Here too, "missionary" and what could be called "reverse missionary" (woman on top but chest on chest, not like some cowgirl riding) are the favorites! We do not do anal that often, but it is a regular occurrence.
ReplyDeleteRegarding anal, in our couple the penetrating partner generally gives an enema to the penetrated partner a little while before the act. We do not use Fleet enemas or similar because these are designed for dealing with constipation and emptying the colon, which is definitely not what we want. Instead we use a little water in an enema bag. Again, we do not use much water: the goal is to clean up the rectum, not to clear out constipation... and a large enema may take some time to fully expel. Repeat until clearish. Often a little spanking too, because it's definitely shameful and perverted to derive pleasure from penetration there!
I use a condom if we plan to switch orifices. We do not use a condom otherwise, except if we fear some mess due to lack of preparation. If penetrating with a finger, we normally use a finger cot or glove, so as to avoid damage with nails and hygiene problems; plus, we like the "examination" feel this gives.
We use a water-based jelly (KY or similar), or vaseline, the latter only if not using condoms. Vaseline is messier but lasts longer. We do not use desensitizing products: we fear these might mask some real harm, and.. anal sex is meant to be felt. So we rely only on partner awareness.
A common anal act that we do is the insertion of a plug prior to vaginal sex. It gives the impression to be fucked from both sides, so to speak.
My wife uses a double-ended dildo on me: one end goes into her vagina and has some kind of knob rubbing onto her clitoris. Despite the claim from the manufacturer that this should hold without the need for a harness, we use one. My wife likes this better than the simple belt types, which do not give genital feelings, so to speak. My favorite position for getting sodomized is on the back.
My wife was initially reluctant to receiving anal sex, despite her taste for some anal acts (rectal temperature, suppositories, digital exam, enemas..). So the first anal sex we tried was on me, with a thin strap-on, which made her more comfortable about the act. She did tried being the recipient. Later we moved to a dildo of girth about the same as my penis (slightly smaller): my wife pointed out that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
Re: the 'Preparation' problem --
ReplyDeleteI use a bidet
http://www.amazon.com/Ambient-Temperature-self-cleaning-nozzle-attachable/dp/B001DNY59U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1428022273&sr=8-2&keywords=Blue++bidet
Its cheap and has always cleaned the rectum in question. Your a** may vary.
tomas