Update re: Domestic Discipline or Rape?

I first want to express my appreciation to each of you who took the time and energy to share your thoughts and comments about the previous post.  I spent most of last week contemplating the situation and your input was very helpful.

What first got me thinking more about Barry's reaction was the comment from Anonymous on March 14 in which he shared that there was a piece of the puzzle missing.  When I looked back on the evening of Barry's punishment, I realized that Barry did not react in a negative way at all when Carol massaged his prostate.  If he was feeling violated, I would have expected him to act repulsed and/or frightened, and to try to avoid what was happening.  On the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying it. He was moving his bottom towards Carol, not away from her, and he was emitting sensual, moaning sounds as if to express his pleasure with what she was doing.   Anonymous was correct.  Things just didn't add up.

More comments later on in the week also seemed to confirm my newly developed feelings and assessment of what happened.  Barry had actually enjoyed his punishment and should be appreciative of Carol and me, and not be trying to manipulate things.

So, Sunday evening, I had another talk with Barry.  I shared my assessment and asked him to explain why he had appeared to be enjoying things so much if he felt he was being violated or raped.  He tried to wiggle his way out of my questions, but eventually admitted that he enjoyed what she was doing at the time, but felt humiliated afterwards.  He also finally admitted that he was using the "feeling violated" approach as a way to get his way in the future.

I was pleased that he finally told me the truth, but was upset that he had been deceptive with me and was trying to be controlling.  Thanks to your comments, he didn't get away with it.

Yesterday, I called Carol and we had long chat.  She seemed a bit relieved about things because she had been concerned that she had caused some problems for Barry and me.  I assured her that it was Barry who has caused the problems.  After discussing several options of how to proceed, we decided that Carol would come by for dinner that evening so that we could sort things out with him.  We also decided that her visit would be a surprise for Barry.

Barry was quite surprised when Carol arrived last night shortly before dinner was ready.  I could also see a look of concern in his eyes. During dinner, I opened the conversation about Barry trying to manipulate things by claiming that Carol had violated him during his previous discipline session.  I also let him know that I have already shared all of our discussions with Carol.  However, I also made Barry personally admit what he had done to her.  As dinner ended, I informed Barry that he was going to be punished again and that this time he will hopefully have a better understanding of the definition of being violated versus feeling humiliated after experiencing something that he enjoyed.  He immediately became argumentative and tried to convince us that it wasn't a big deal.  He claimed that he was just having fun with us.  At that point Carol asked him if he had read the numerous comments to my blog post about the punishment session.  When he informed us that he had not, she let him know that the comments all seemed to be from male readers and almost all did not agree with his perspective.  She also produced a printed copy of the comments from her purse and proceeded to read them to Barry.  I could tell that he was very surprised by the reaction of my readers.

As we finished dinner, Carol and I began to clear the table.  I directed Barry to go to our bathroom and use a Fleet enema; and to then dress in clothing that was on our bed for him.  He was then to meet us in the living room.  When we had finished the dishes, we found Barry in the living room wearing the red baby doll nightgown with matching panties, along with white thigh-high stockings that I had left out for him.  He looked quite nervous.  When we entered the room, I suggested to Carol that she should make sure Barry has no desire for sexual arousal, which was are agreed upon way of me telling her to milk him again.

Carol then placed a towel on our sofa and made Barry kneel on it with his hands on the back of the sofa like she did last week.  She then proceeded to glove up, lubricate, and enter his bottom ... not quite as gently as last time.  It took a bit longer this time, but she eventually produced a stream of seminal fluid oozing from his caged penis.  As a side note, I am amazed at how easily she does this.  It seems much easier for her than me:  perhaps due to her career as a nurse.

Barry seemed more subdued during this procedure than last week.  I suspect it was due to his realization that Carol and I were not happy with the stunt he had pulled, claiming that he had been violated.  He clearly didn't enjoy it this time, but he also didn't try to make her stop.

As Carol finished and removed her glove, I stood up and announced to Barry that it is now time for some real learning to take place.  I directed Barry to meet us in the guest room.  Carol and I then went to our bedroom where we prepared ourselves with our strapons.  I had Carol wear a smaller one, comparable to Barry's erect penis, which is also the one that we like to use for pegging.  It was the one I pegged him with last week.   I wore a much larger one, which Barry and I have never used for pegging.  He is clearly intimidated by its size.  It is about 8" long and 2" in diameter.  I bought it as kind of a joke and have worn it under my skirt or jeans to tease Barry when I planned to peg him, but I have never attempted to insert it into him.

When we arrived in the guest room wearing our strapons, I could see the look of fear in Barry's eyes.  He was sitting in a comfortable chair as we approached.  We both stood in front of him and we each made a point of holding our strapon in our hand as I spoke to him.  "You are about to get fucked", I said.  "I want you and I to each learn more about how you feel about Carol violating you.  So, I am going to give you a choice.  Do you want her to fuck you with a comfortable dildo?  Or, do you want me to fuck you with this?"

The look on his face was priceless.  He quickly chose Carol!  I couldn't help but comment that apparently he doesn't feel violated by allowing Carol to fuck him.  I also purposely was allowing my language to be course at this time.  I was tired of the games that he was playing with me. I then made Barry lie over the Liberator wedge on the bed and secured his wrists and ankles with the under-the-bed bondage system, and directed Carol to have her way with him and to not feel a need to be gentle.  Carol then made him suck her strapon, and told him to make sure he makes it very wet, because that was the only lubricant she was going to use ... since it was such a small dildo. Barry responded as you would expect.  He vigorously slurped all over her dildo. I have to confess that I enjoyed watching this spectacle.  She eventually moved behind him and proceeded to vigorously peg him.  She looked to me several times to make sure I was OK with what she was doing ... and I was.

When Carol finally finished, Barry was groaning,not moaning.  It had clearly not been a pleasant sexual experience for him.  I then placed my large strapon in his face and directed him to prepare it for insertion.  Again he slurped all over it.  When I went behind him, I did add a small amount of lube without Barry being aware of me doing it.  I then told Barry that we were going to do a little role play ... and explained that she should imagine that he had just entered prison and was placed in a cell with a very large, mean looking convict.  In the middle of the night, he awakens to find the other convict sitting on his back and beginning to tie his hands behind his back.  He then tells Barry that he is his bitch.  He also tells him to not bother making any noise, because the guards won't react.  They realize that when he (the other convict) receives his sexual relief, things seem to run more smoothly in the prison.  He tells Barry that the positive side of being his bitch is that he will be the only one who will do this to him.  He will protect Barry from all of the other horny men who would otherwise find ways to fuck him.  I then told Barry to pretend that I am the other convict.

 Even though his bum hole was loosened up by Carol's pegging, it still took quite some time to get the entire dildo inserted.  Due to its size, I tried to be relatively gentle with the insertion process.  However, once it was fully in him, I announced that he was not going to be fucked.  I proceeded to slide it in and out with a regular rhythm.  At the end I was thrusting harder and faster, mimicking a climax.  When I finished, Barry was lying limply over the Liberator wedge.  I then asked Barry how it felt to be fucked and violated in that way.  He mumbled something about it not being any fun at all and he seemed relieved that we were done.  However, he quickly learned that we weren't.

I then explained to him that the first part of the lesson was over ... the learning part.  However, he was now going to be punished for lying to me about his reaction to Carol.  The two of us then retrieved two paddles from under the bed.  Carol took the Jokari and I took the large lexan paddle.  With the two of us standing on opposites sides of the bed, we team paddled him.  I would strike first with the lexan across both cheeks and Carol would immediately apply the Jokari across both.   That way I could control the tempo and set the example of harshness for each stroke.  But, each stroke consisted of two swats, one from each of us.  I didn't keep count, but we each must have delivered at least 40 or 50 strokes, the last 10 from each of us in rapid succession.  By that time, Barry was sobbing and begging us to stop.

I then released Barry from his bondage and took him into my arms to comfort him.  I asked Carol to go to the kitchen and prepare a glass of wine for each of us.  After about ten minutes, Barry and I joined her.

It was definitely a learning experience for Barry.  I am pretty confident that he learned a hard lesson about lying to me and trying to control me.

Thanks again for your thoughtful and helpful comments.

Susan