I had not heard anything from Helen since Barry's punishment, which began to concern me. We usually touch base by telephone or meeting for coffee at least once a week. So yesterday I gave her a call. I just wanted to see how she was doing and I didn't know if her silence was due to what she had observed that night, or if there was something else going on in her life. It was time to check in with her.
I decided to take the direct approach and just ask her how she was. Depending on her response, I was prepared to bring up the direct question of whether her silence was due to what she observed that evening. And, that is what I had to end up doing. I was very thankful that Helen was candid and honest with me. She suggested we get together for coffee this morning, which we did. I learned that Helen did have somewhat of a tough time that night. She shared that it brought back some tough memories of her not being able to meet her husband's needs with respect to spanking. I was also surprised to hear her acknowledge that she experienced a conflict of those memories and being somewhat excited to watch me punish Barry so severely. She also seemed to really enjoy being a major reason for Barry being completely embarrassed or humiliated by having her watch. She also apologized for not sharing that with me sooner, but she explained that she is still trying to deal with those conflicted feelings.
I could fully understand and, in some ways relate to what she was saying. We ended up having a really good conversation, which seemed to increase her comfort level with her feelings. I certainly don't have any expertise in this area, so it is hard for me to fully share our conversation or my interpretation of it. I think the good news is that we are talking about it.