- I've seen the devotional sex blog a bit. But could you go into a little more detail as to what your take on it is? Is it basically sex is for the wife's pleasure? Is it femdom? Seems like a bit of a mix.
I thought this might be a good topic for this post.
For Barry and me, Devotional Sex has been a new way of looking at sex and making love. Before I learned of Barry's strong desires to be spanked and his submissive nature, we were stuck in a very old fashioned way of expressing our love for each other in a sexual way. I felt compelled to allow Barry to have sex with me even if it didn't give me much pleasure. And, Barry looked at sex with one goal. He wanted to have an orgasm. If he provided me with the ability to orgasm, that was a side benefit. It was awful, especially for me.
Once I learned of what I initially thought were Barry's unusual kinky needs, and realized that I needed to embrace them, a new world opened up to us. We began to communicate and be honest with each other about how we felt about sex. When we discovered and talked about "Devotional Sex" it opened more new doors. We realized that the goal should be to focus on pleasing each other. To us, that was the "devotional" part.
My sense is that the Devotional Sex concept of putting the female in charge of sex is a way of overcoming that old-fashioned perspective of sex is primarily for the male. For Barry, it was a no-brainer because he loves to be submissive. It was initially difficult for me to make the transition and take charge. However, I have done so. I now love being in charge and Barry loves me assuming that role. I have also come to realize that keeping Barry very horny is a good thing. We have also each learned that by desiring to please each other we each reap great benefits.
So, to try to find a way to sum things up, Devotional Sex for us is a tool that allowed us to realize the important thing is for us to focus on pleasing each other. We are continually finding out how best to do that, which I will try to share in this blog. For us, it is not femdom. But I also have to admit that I am difinitely dominant, which is what Barry wants. The reason I say it is not femdom is because I interpret that word to mean a 'bitchy, mean woman'. That is not me. But, I have learned to be in charge in a loving and caring way, because that is what Barry needs and wants.
I hope all of this makes sense to those who read it. This is not an easy subject to explain. I'll keep trying.
PS ... Thank you "lovetosubmit" for your question. I hope I have begun to answer it.