Friday, November 21, 2014

House Rules

During my sabbatical from blogging I received several emails from readers with questions about the rules that I require Barry to follow.  I apologize for not being responsive to those questions during that time and I thought I would try to address them in this post.

Barry and I have each agreed to a number of house rules that we feel make our relationship stronger and more enriching.  These include:
  • Devotional Sex is our primary guide for sex and making love.  Barry will be my Knight and I will be his Princess.
  • Whenever we disagree about something (which is OK), we each must be respectful of each other and their opinion.
  • No whining about anything.
  • Barry must keep his private area and bottom clean shaven at all times.  He is primarily responsible for shaving as needed.  However, I will frequently assist him.  (I love using shaving cream and a razor down there and enjoying the baby smooth results, especially when it comes to spanking a just shaven bottom.)
  • Barry where's women's panties at all times for underwear (given his pantie fetish, he actually enjoys this most of the time).
  • I will allow Barry to shave and groom my pubic hair as long as he leaves a normal looking triangle.
  • Barry is not allowed to masturbate without my specific permission and usually my presence.  This is one of the hardest rules for Barry to follow, so he frequently voluntarily wears a chastity device.  I do not require that, but he finds it helpful in achieving compliance.
  • Barry must limit his internet activity to only websites which I have approved unless I am present with him.  This is another tool to help him achieve compliance with the "no masturbation" rule.
  • In order to facilitate monitoring Barry's internet activity, he is not allowed to delete any browsing history from our computer.  If I find that the history has been altered, it is considered prima facie evidence that he violated the previous rule.
  • Since his serious medical condition occured, I attend all medical appointments with Barry.  I will write more specific information about this rule in a later posting.
  • Since we both retired, we have divided the housekeeping duties.  Barry's responsibilities include:  weekly vacuuming, weekly cleaning of the kitchen, daily breakfast dishes,  daily helping with dinner dishes, daily help with dinner preparations.
  • Violation of any of the rules by Barry is a spankable offense, the time and severity of the spanking to be determined by me.  Barry also agrees to accept a punishment spanking from me at at time for any other behavioral issue for which I feel he deserves to be spanked.
  • Violation of the 2nd and 3rd rules (respect and whining) by me are spankable offenses, the time and severity of the spanking to be determined by Barry (I have not yet violated these rules).
We will continue to fine tune these rules.  Spanking has always proven to be a very effective punishment for Barry, once I committed myself to administering a true punishment spanking when appropriate.  These type of punishment spankings aren't required nearly as often any more.  However, they occasionally become necessary.  Most of the spankings that Barry now receives are of the fun variety, which we each enjoy.

Best wishes to all for a Happy Thanksgiving and travel safely if you are on the road.



  1. This set of rules is very much in line with my goals for our flr. My wife and I have a loose, playful form of flr right now, without any real "rules". There are things that I do on a regular basis, but it is really on my own volition and there is not a punishment for not doing so.
    Several years ago I had masturbated during my morning shower and then found my wife in bed, very much aroused and ready for sex. I as appalled to find that I could not do that for her because I had just cum. After that I vowed to not ever ruin the opportunity to have sex with her and have pretty much entirely stopped masturbating, other than rare occasions when she is away for a few days and even then I often don't cum, saving that for her. I also have encouraged her to not let me cum without permission when we are together. The tough thing about that is trying to provide her with pleasing intercourse when I am bursting to cum after weeks of denial. She has learned that is in her best interest to deny me orgasm and keep me in a state of arousal for extended periods as I am very attentive to her then.
    I made it my own rule to always sit while using the toilet. She has found that the toilet area stays much cleaner without a male splashing around.
    I do enjoy the occasions when she has me wear panties, but it is not a regular thing, hopefully someday!
    I do enjoy when she gives me play spankings, floggings, belt whippings and she seems to be enjoying that more to as she sees how much I enjoy it. I don't think she has ever given me a real punishment spanking. I don't know if I am that good of a husband to never need one.
    I do enjoy when she is in control and would appreciate having actual rules and perhaps some required ritual behaviors like kneeling before at least once a day.
    The one thing that she would likely punish me for and I do really need to be controlled from is internet use. I have a very long standing porn addiction and I know that she does not like me viewing it as she sees it as a form of cheating on her.
    I truly wish that she could see fit to join me in reading such well reasoned and well written blogs as your to learn that this can be a wonderful loving lifestyle.
    But in her own time, I hope and believe that we will find our way to our mutually happy place.
    Sorry to have rambled on so, but this post struck a chord with me.
    I look forward to learning more about the devotional sex aspect of your relationship.
    Thank you again for sharing with us and I wish you and your loving husband a happy Thanksgiving.

  2. I think your rules for Barry are very reasonable. She has a few rules I must follow. I also am smooth around my pubic area but she does not allow me to shave my bottom. She has a kink that she likes to stop during a spanking and pull a few hairs. I wear silk panties 24/7. Actually I prefer panties to cotton as I find them more comfortable. I don't get many punishment spankings and actually I can earn one without knowing it. When she feels one has been earned she simply tells me to strip to my panties and get on my knees. That is the first signal I'm going to get punished. She then tells me what I did wrong and where the punishment will take place. During the punishment she always scolds me as she spanks and expects answers to what she is saying. That is hard considering your bottom is on fire. Most of my spankings are sexual in nature or some times she just feels like spanking me with no sex for me but always for her when she's done spanking.

  3. Thank you MRBILL and Archedone for sharing your situations. It is also nice to hear that enjoy what I have shared in this blog. I fully respect MRBILL's decision to give up masturbating. That, along with a similar porn addiction on the internet are Barry's biggest challenges. Having him voluntarily want to be caged when I am not around tells me how much he wants to stop the masturbation for me (or at least avoid the severe punishment spankings he receives when I catch him ).

    Thanks again for taking time to share in my blog.


  4. I've seen the devotional sex blog a bit. But could you go into a little more detail as to what your take on it is? Is it basically sex is for the wife's pleasure? Is it femdom? Seems like a bit of a mix.

    I suppose you could say in our current sex life, sex is mainly around my wife's pleasure. She determines whether I orgasm or not, and they are getting less frequent. She's also pretty into CBT, but not so much spanking. We're both really enjoying it!

  5. Hi Susan, good to hear you blogging again. I just wanted to point out most browsers allow you run incognito, where it doesn't record any history. You can install a logging program which records everything, websites visited, screenshots and even characters typed. I hope Barry is behaving but most men suffer from momentary lapses and this way you can be sure. Good luck, Judith

  6. My wife and I have a "switching" relationship: mutual domestic discipline, playful spankings, and so on.

    We have rules not unlike MRBILL. Self-masturbation is tolerated when we are separated, but prohibited (unless specifically authorized) when together. Two reasons: 1) we think that pleasure should happen with the partner 2) events such as the one recalled by MRBILL (man masturbates, then woman wants sex but man cannot perform due to recent ejaculation) have occurred. My wife is very keen on getting daily vaginal sex.

    Furthermore, masturbation (as a replacement for marital relations when on travel) should preferably occur with marital fantasies. Other fantasies are tolerated as long as they do not focus on real people (e.g. stories are ok but not e.g. the waitress). On occasion, we have confessed to have violated this rule. We have not tried chastity devices but my wife floated the idea of wearing a chastity belt whenever I was away as punishment for having masturbated while thinking about a colleague of hers (we gave up because the devices we could see were designed for play, not for continuous wearing for e.g. one week).

    "I made it my own rule to always sit while using the toilet. She has found that the toilet area stays much cleaner without a male splashing around." Same here! We taught our kids this way too.

    Ah, I groom my wife's pubic hair (I seldom shave her due to hair re-growing).