Barry's Confessions

During dinner Wednesday evening, Barry and I had a conversation concerning how good it feels to be back on track in our relationship.  We had each felt completely out of sorts during the past few months.  Barry was also very appreciative of my spanking him on Sunday.  After dinner, while we were doing dishes together, I could sense that Barry was uneasy and he seemed like there was something that he wanted to say.  "What is it?" I asked.

After some stammering and hesitation, he finally shared that there are a couple of things that he needs to confess to me concerning his behavior the past few months.  With some encouragement, he finally told me that he had reverted back to spending too much time on his computer watching spanking porn, and that he was again masturbating more than he feels is healthy for our relationship.  I shared his concern about those two habits and asked him what he thought could help him.  The answer was a request for discipline from me.  I suggested that we could begin that night.  He then went back into his "quiet" mode and I could again tell that there was something else that he wasn't saying.  Again, after some probing, he finally blurted out that he had seen a professional disciplinarian a couple of times last fall.

This caught me completely by surprise and I blurted out my shock and dismay that he would seek someone else to provide him with discipline, especially after how far we have come together the past few years.  I was very hurt and I let him know that I felt like he had cheated on me. As the conversation continued, he finally admitted that he has seen this woman three times during the course of the fall.  He didn't feel like it was cheating it was just for spanking discipline and there was no sexual contact involved.  However, he also eventually admitted that as part of his discipline for the masturbation issue, on two occasions she required him to stand in front of her and masturbate to orgasm.

After regaining some composure and cooling down a little bit, I finally asked him what he thought we should do about that behavior.  Much to my surprise, his response was "I need to be punished because I have betrayed your love and your trust."   After telling him that I was glad that he had used the word "punished" this time, and not just "disciplined", I told him to proceed to the bathroom and take a shower; and to then meet me in our bedroom.

While he was showering, I began to prepare the bedroom for what I had planned for Barry.  After bringing in a straight-back dining room chair and his notebook PC, I then began to place a variety of our spanking implements on our bed, as well as a bright red baby doll nightgown with matching panties (as a punishment outfit for Barry).

When Barry appeared in his bathrobe, I directed him to put on his punishment outfit and to sit on the dining chair and await my return.  I then took a shower to give myself some time to think and compose myself.  When I returned to the bedroom, I advised Barry that we would first deal with the PC porn.  I directed him to pick out three implements and bring them to me.  While he as making his selections, I took the notebook PC and sat in the dining chair.  After locating a video that I knew he liked of a man being spanked OTK by a women, I placed the PC on the floor to the left of the chair.  Barry finally made his selections (a small leather paddle, a small wooden paddle, and a hairbrush) and brought them to me.  I placed them on the floor to the left of the chair, along with the PC.  

 I then began to scold and lecture Barry as he stood in front of me.  His erection was obvious, so I also commented that it didn't appear that he was very sorry about what he had done and assured him that his sense of pleasure between his legs would soon disappear.   I then took Barry over my lap and  directed him to start the video.  I told him that I planned to spank him until it finished (it was between 25 and 30 minutes long).  started in with a hand spanking over his panties.  His head was about a foot away from the PC and the implements that would soon be put to use.  I made him hand each one to me as I wanted to use it, saving the hairbrush for last.  After using my hand and the first implement, I also made him stand so I could remove his panties, although they offered little protection.  By that time his erection was beginning to fade.

By the time I and the video finished, I had him wriggling and yelping, and when he stood up, it was apparent that his penis was completely flacid.

"let's now deal with your masturbation issue", I announced.  "First, I want you to get your penis hard again".  It took him about five minutes, but he finally achieved a meaningful erection.  It was clear that he wasn't finding this as sexually exciting as he had hoped. "I want you on your knees and elbows on the bed ...with your legs spread, so I can have access to your bottom and your genitals."  Taking a 24" wooden ruler paddle in my left hand, I began to paddle his already very red bottom while I used my left hand to reach under this belly and find his penis.  Barry doesn't enjoy this paddle because it provides a lot of intense sting to both cheeks each time it lands.  However, I was able to monitor his state of arousal and keep his penis erect while still administering a pretty severe paddling.  Near the end, I stopped the teasing and just let him experience lots and lots of sting during the final thirty swats I administered.

Allowing Barry to stand up, it was obvious that his erection had again disappeared.  I informed him that he was now going to stand in front of me and show me how masturbated for his disciplinarian.   He tried to beg off by saying he didn't think he could get hard again.  He did have a problem, which didn't surprise me, so I brought out the Hitachi vibrator to provide some assistance in achieving an erection.  Once hard, however, the vibrator was shut off and Barry was forced to complete the act by himself.  I made him ejaculate into his red panties, which I then rolled up to used as a gag during his final punishment.

"OK, now it time to deal with your cheating on me with the disciplinarian", I announced. "Noooooo", he begged.  However, he quickly realized that I would not be dissuaded.  By this time Barry's bottom was bright red and beginning to mark a bit.  However, I still planned to punish him for seeing the disciplinarian.   I brought out a pair of bright pink spandex panties which tightly cover his bottom very nicely.  I thought they would give him a little protection, as well as hold the burning sensation in his bottom quite nicely for his final paddling.  I then fastened his wrists together with a pair of our cuffs, placed his soiled panties in his mouth, and took him back over my lap while I sat in the chair.  I had previously placed our medium sized lexan paddle next to the chair within easy reach, but I don't think Barry saw me do so.   The lexan is his most dreaded implement and the first swat with it took him completely by surprise!  I then proceeded to slowly scold him while methodically using the paddle.  At one point  I paused to lower his panties to check on the condition of his bottom.  He thought I was going to keep them down and began to frantically beg me not to do so (at least that's what I assumed was coming out of his muffled mouth).  However, his bottom was OK, so I pulled the panties back up and resumed the paddling.  By the time I stopped, Barry was limp across my lap and quietly sobbing.

When it was over, I had Barry sit on my lap so I could hold and cuddle him and let him know that I still loved him.  However, I also let him know that if he ever did such a foolish thing again, this paddling would seem like a warm up spanking.

I had Barry sleep in the spandex panties that night.  In the morning, I locked him in his cage, where I plan to keep him until I feel he is ready to be trusted with respect to masturbation again.

It has been a long time since I administered this type of serious punishment spanking to Barry.  I still hate to do it.  It is the one part of our relationship that I do not like.  However, it sometimes seems like the only way I can get through to him.  I hope this is the last time for a long time.

One thing I'm sure of though is that Barry still needs to be submissive and be spanked.  From his behavior and things he told me this week, it is clear that he has strong needs with respect to both.  I want to be able to meet those needs and have him meet mine as well.

Susan