It has been almost a month since I last posted, which has been intentional on my part. After my last post I came to the realization that I was spending too much time thinking about and trying to move our relationship closer to a pure Devotional Sex lifestyle. All of a sudden it dawned on me that it would be more beneficial to just allow our relationship to grow in whatever way made the most sense to both Barry and me. It is not that DS wasn't working. It was. However, other aspects of our relationship (spanking, Barry's submissive needs, and exploring mutually agreed upon kink) also are a big part of who we have become as a couple. I found myself trying to minimize the latter in pursuit of DS. It all came together when Barry started reverting to some previously corrected bad behavior (overtly ogling other women in my presence). When I realized that he was doing it solely to get me to spank him because he needs that in our relationship I woke up.
So, I decided to back off being so analytical and posting so much .... and just let our relationship take a natural course for a few weeks. That has proven to be a good decision because it has allowed me to be more in tune with Barry's wishes and needs, as well as more effective in sharing mine with him.
After almost a month, I am finding us moving into a blended concept of DS with our other needs and desires. I guess if you label a full fledged female dominant relationship as Fm (capital F to represent the fully dominant woman and lower case m to indicate the fully submissive male), and you label a DS relationship as fm (italicized f for the Princess who is special, but not dominant and lower case m for the equal, but devoted male), then I would label our relationship as fm (bold and italicized f for the special but somewhat dominant female and lower case m for the submissive male). That is where Barry and I seem to be at this time. We practice many aspects of Devotional Sex. However, I also recognize and fulfill Barry's submissive nature by being appropriately dominant and/or controlling. And, we each recognize our desires to explore and enjoy kinky activities that are mutually agreeable.
So, I anticipate that we will continue move forward in that regard. I also plan to stop analyzing everything we do and to stop trying to label our relationship. It is more important for us to just find what mutually works for each of us.