It's been an interesting two weeks since I last posted and a lot has happened with respect to how Barry and I work together with respect to Devotional Sex (DS). It is a concept that we each embrace and find to be helpful in our relationship.
My main efforts during the first of the past two weeks were to continue trying to find a way to remove the need for Barry to wear his chastity device. I had already implemented the first step, which was to not have Barry wear his device when we were together and that worked well. The next step was for Barry to gain confidence and to me gain trust in his not needing the device when he went to work or when I was not around at home. I approached that challenge using suggestions from Michael at DevotionalSex.com. I provided lots of incentive to Barry to be able to want to give up the device in order to continue enjoying things he loves.
We were making progress and Barry went to work several days without his device. I was also absent while Barry was home alone a week ago without his device. That was not a good experience for him. He couldn't deal with it. He even called my on my cell phone at one point while he was masturbating.
When I arrived home, we had a long conversation. What really hit home to me was when he asked me "Why do you feel I shouldn't have my device to help me?" That made me realize that I was trying to achieve what I think of as "pure" DS ... which means no chastity device. It hit home even more when Barry told me that he likes to wear his device. He explained that, to him, it is a symbol of his devotion to me. It is a 'mark' that he wears to remind him of his devotion to me ... and it helps him maintain that devotion. He also admitted that he needs the device to maintain that devotion, especially when he is 'home alone'.
So, what we came up with is a very modified version of DS and how we treat the use of the chastity device. The use of the chastity device is Barry's responsibility. I don't keep the key. He does. He puts the device on when he feels he needs it or wants it. If he does so when he goes to work, he leaves the key on his dresser. However, at my request, when he wears the device while at home when I am away, he leaves the key in my lingerie drawer. That way, if he considers removing it, he has to think of me even more as he retrieves the key. He really liked that idea.
At this point it seems to be working.
We continue to grow together, as we listen to each other. Since we are not 'spring chickens', this seems very important to me.