Panty Shopping

Saturday was a delightful day which I thoroughly enjoyed. I was very anxious to buy Barry is very own collection of panties and nighties. When I had him wearing panties earlier, he mostly wore mine, except for a couple of special things I had purchased for him, such as his punishment panties. However, since he lost weight, they are a bit large for him.

Early in the morning we took care of the necessary preparations for Hurricane Irene, even though it looks like it's impact upon us will be much less than what was earlier predicted. By 10 AM we were ready to head to the mall that is far enough away from us that we don't risk running into anyone who knows us. It also has a Macy's, which is wear I like to buy my lingerie, and a Victoria's Secret. Before we left, Barry almost begged me to allow him to keep some of his jockey shorts, saying that he needs some to wear when he is working around the house and yard on the weekends. I told him not to worry, I will make sure we purchase a couple of pair of cotton briefs that can fulfill his weekend needs.

We went to Macy's first and together we picked out a number of high rise briefs, hipsters, and even a lacy pair of boyshorts (along with a package of assorted pastel colors cotton Jockey hipster panties for weekend wear). We also picked out a short nylon nightgown and a mid-thigh length chemise for which we found a matching panty for sleepwear. Barry was initially quite embarrassed, but eventually got into looking for things, once he realized that no one was paying much attention to us. He was pretending that he was looking for things for me, just to give himself some cover. He would say things like, you would like nice in these, etc. I let him play his little game until it came time to take them to the checkout counter. I handed all of our selections to Barry and told him to go pay for them, as I quickly disappeared (but only far enough away so that I could still watch him).

We then found the Victoria's Secret store where we were immediately greeted a young saleswoman who asked if she could help me. Much to Barry's dismay, I quickly responded that I was looking for something sexy for my husband! She didn't bat an eyelash, but Barry turned crimson. She then showed us a variety of babydolls with matching panties and teddies. I settled on a lovely polyester babydoll with a wide halter strap and a panty which was fairly full in style. We also looked at some garters and garter slips, but I decided to hold off on anything else.

We then had a late lunch before heading home for a fashion show :-).  As I had hoped, each of the panties selected nicely highlighted his cage and also just covred his cute bottom, which is a delightful size since he lost weight.

Saturday is also our normal 'shaving' day for Barry.  We each like for him to be shaved from the waist to upper thigh area.  Since we missed doing it last weekend, he really was in need of cleaning up.  After dinner, I sent him to the shower and I joined him to do the honors.  Barry sometimes shaves himself, but I also really enjoy doing it.  I especially wanted to do the honors this time so that I could appropriately tease and arrouse him.  I initially left him in the chastity device while I shaved everything that was accessible.  I took my time and made sure I paid very special attention to his scrotum, inner thighs and buttocks.  He always finds it arrousing, and this time was no exception.  However, the device definitely inhibited much growth of his penis.  When Barry is flacid his penis shrinks to a very small size.  It grows to about 4 inches when erect, but we had to have a very small cage in order for it to remain in place when he is flacid.  Of course, that means there is very little room for expansion.  I finally told him that I was going to remove the cage so I could shave the shaft of his penis.  When I did so, it didn't take long for it to become fully erect.  That allowed me to carefully shave and tease it.  Given his tendancy to lose control, I made sure I was careful to not cause him to ejaculate.  After I toweled him dry, Barry began to put on the chemise/panty combination I had purchased for him.  However, when he reached for the panty, I reminded him that the cage must go back on.  The look of disappointment on his face was priceless.

When we got into bed, I reminded him that even though he was remaining celibate, I still craved receiving his pleasuring, which he lovingly provided to me.  I had no trouble sleeping thafterwards, but Barry reported that he was awake much of the night.

Susan

PS We are now ready to hunker down for the day and ride out what will hopefully be only the remnants of Irene.

Back into Panties for Barry

Thank you very much for the comments (and suggestions) that have been submitted to my last two posts. I really appreciate the support and suggestions that have been offered. I have also enjoying the fact that Margaret has checked in with me again and she has provided a wealth of insight to me as I continue to move forward.

Last night I took another step in the process of taking complete charge of our relationship. After dinner, while Barry was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, went into our bedroom to make preparations for when we would get ready for bed. I removed all of his underpants and sleeping shorts from his dresser drawer and dirty clothes hamper and placed them in the wastebasket next to his dresser. I then folded and placed a pair of my panties on top of his dresser, and also placed a baby doll nightie with matching panties on his side of the bed.

I then joined Barry in our family room to watch some TV and read. I eventually suggested that he get ready for bed and I would join him. I didn't wait too long to follow, since I wanted to enjoy his reaction. When I walked in the room, he was going through the underwear and sleepwear that I had placed in the wastebasket. His initial comment was "What is this all about?".    I calmly explained to him that I had decided that he would now wear only panties and that on Saturday, before Hurricane Irene arrives, we would be making a trip to a mall that is about 35 miles from us (where no on would know us) to pick out a selection of panties for his everday and dressup use.  I added that since it arrouses me to see him in panties and lingerie, he will now also wear feminine sleepwear at night ... starting with my babydoll nightgown tonight.

He started to protest, at which time I reminded him that he was currently locked in a chastity device to which I held the key.  I urged him to realize that any argumentative attitude would likely cause him to wait longer for any sexual relief.  I also put on a nylon babydoll, but omitted the panties and suggested that he make sure I was well pleased before he went to sleep.  He complied very nicely with that request and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him orally pleasure me.  When he was done, I couldn't resist using my hands to trace the outline of his chastity device through his panties and tease him.  I started referring to his confined penis as "Herbie", since the shape the outline of his device in his panties made me think of the hood of car in the  Love Bug movie.

This morning, Barry dutifully put on the panties I had placed on his dresser and went off to work.  I love to seem him in panties, especially when he is wearing his device.  They provide a lovely display of his trapped penis and I know that he will be very aware of the fact that he is wearing panties all day long.

Tomorrow will be fun.  I am looking forward to shopping for panties and lingerie with him. 

Susan

Going to the Next Level

I had a wonderful surprise Monday evening. Margaret (from the inn where Barry and I stayed in NY) called.  She wanted to check in with me to follow-up on our conversation the morning we left.  I shared with her my hesitation about making such a dramatic change with respect to being the HOH, which opened up a wonderful conversation.  I ended up sharing more details with her of what I have actually done with respect to FLR so far, especially concerning what I have done with respect to chastity and sexual aspects.  When she realized that even though I have often been keeping Barry in his device, I have also been making sure he is sexually satisfied whenever I am, she had a very different perspective.  I don't think I want to go through all of the details of how we got to this point.  But, her advice (which makes lots of sense to me) is that I need to deprive Barry of orgasms.  It is the need for them that is the key to creating a loving, caring husband who will do whatever I ask of him.  She feels it is also the key to having Barry accept me being the HOH in a FLR.  As we talked and I thought about it, this makes perfect sense to me.  It also allows me to move to being HOH in a more gradual way.  I didn't get much sleep last night as I thought about our conversation and how best to proceed.

Last evening during dinner, I had a heart to heart conversation with Barry about our relationship and where I have been led on our journey. We again talked about me being the HOH and he still liked that idea.  I shared with him that I am going begin by taking even more control of our sexual life.  I informed him that he will now be in his chastity device 24/7, unless I decide to release him, and that he needs to understand that his goal is to please me sexually whenever I desire.  His sexual needs will be met less often, when I feel it is beneficial. 

After dinner, we retired to the bedroom where I locked him in his device and advised him that he could expect to be in it until at least Sunday, and I explained that having it off for a bit on Sunday will be dependent upon his behavior between now and then.  I also reminded him that I expect him to pleasure me whenever I desire it.   I then informed him that I was going to take a nice, relaxing bath while he did the dishes.  And, that I expected him to join me in the bedroom when I was done. 

When I finished my bath, well after Barry had cleaned up the kitchen, I put on a teddy and found Barry working at the computer.  It didn't take much coaxing to have him join me in the bedroom.  However, he slowly learned that I meant what I said.  After he orally pleasured me to a very satisfying orgasm, I hugged and kissed him.  And, then I went to sleep.  As I did so, it was obvious how frustrated and unsatisfied he felt.  Somehow, I couldn't help but think about the many nights I felt the same way early in our marriage when he would have an orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep.

I think the coming few days will be very interesting for him, but I now feel confident that I am able to take things slowly as we move forward in our journey.  I don't think either of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started.  However, I am also confident that we are moving towards a much more satisfying relationship for both of us.

Susan

Thoughts about HOH and FLR

In my last post I shared that I had a delightful conversation with the hostess of the inn we stayed in last Sunday night. While Barry was packing things up and loading the car, she sat down at the table and we talked for almost an hour.  She was curious about the type of relationship that Barry and I have, and I was curious about she and her husband.  It seems that she and Robert have a complete female led relationship in which she is the head of the household in all regards.  She manages the inn and Robert does most of the work.  He prepares breakfast each morning for the guests and after cleaning up the kitchen he takes care of cleaning the five rooms.  She also keeps him in a chastity device and panties most of the time and has taken complete control of when and how he receives sexual pleasure.  She is convinced that since she has taken complete charge of Robert, he has become a much kinder and gentler husband.  She also does not hesitate to use corporal punishment whenever necessary to keep him well behaved.  I was curious how she could do that due to having strangers in the house most nights.  She explained that most guests leave by 10 AM in the morning and new guests seldom arrive until at least 2 PM.  When a punishment is needed, it is frequently administered during that time period except when the inn is vacant.  She also explained that she also frequently uses a cane, which is a very quiet implement.  The only problem with cane is that it is difficult for Robert to remain quiet.  Initially, she would gag him whenever the cane was used, but she has slowly trained him to take it quietly.  Before we ended our conversation, she invited Robert to our table from the kitchen and prompted him to tell me about their relationship.  His summary confirmed what Margaret had told me.

I was quite intrigued by the complete control she exhibits over Robert and what a gentle, pleasant person he is.  When I commented about that, Margaret explained that he wasn't always as loving and kind.  However, that changed once she took charge of their relationship and him.  She strongly encouraged me to take more control of all aspects of Barry's and my relationship.  She was confident that I would see a dramatic change in Barry's general demeanor and an increase in his desire and actions to please me in all ways.  She also suggested that based upon what I told her about Barry's desire to be spanked and his acceptance of me controlling much of our sex life, it is very likely that Barry really desires to have a woman control more aspects of his life and that he will quickly embrace it.

As we drove home that morning, I couldn't help but playing my conversation with Margaret over in my head many times.  I was struck by how similar it seems to what several of you readers have shared in comments to me about HOH and FLRs.   That night over dinner, I shared much of the conversation I had with Margaret with Barry and told him that I was thinking about taking full control of all aspects of our relationship and household.  When he asked me what that meant, I told him I wasn't quite sure, but that I was going to give it significant thought and we would talk more.

Barry didn't seem to object to the idea of me being the HOH, but since we  haven't talked in more detail about what it would mean to him, I'm not sure he fully comprehends the extent of what I'm talking about.  I have been giving it a lot of thought the past week and jotting down a number of specific changes I would implement if I decide to do this.  This feels like a really major change and is not something I am taking lightly.  The changes we have already made in our relationship are also huge, but they have occurred fairly gradually, so they didn't feel so dramatic at the time.

I suspect we'll be talking in the next few days ....

Susan

Barry's Vacation Spanking

We arrived home Monday night after a wonderful vacation in the Finger Lakes region and Adirondack mountains of New York.  Interestingly, although we live fairly close to New York, we had never spent any time there before.  It was good to have time to get away and just spend time together, without the pressures of work.

We didn't have any specific plans for this trip, so we just moved around as we desired.  The current economy made it possible for us to not need to make reservations, which is really the way we like to travel when we can.

Our last night provided a very unique experience that I never expected.  I enjoyed it much more than Barry, as I will now try to share.  We had originally planned to come home on Sunday, have a day at home on Monday, and then Barry would return to work on Tuesday.  I don't have to go back to wrk in the school system for another week.  However, we spent Sunday afternoon hiking a beautiful trail, so I decided that I would like to spend one more night away before returning.  Early evening, ss we drove through a small NY hamlet after our hike, we stopped at a lovely small Victorian inn/B&B to see if they had any rooms available.  I just couldn't resist it.

When we walked in and asked about availability, the wife of the British couple who run the inn shared that all rooms were available, so she suggested that we go upstairs and take our pick of their five rooms.  At that point, I realized that I was having a very unique opportunity presented to me, which seemed very intriguing.  This was because of what happened earlier in the week and that day. 

During our vacation, Barry reverted to one of his bad habits of ogling waitresses in restaurants we visited.  As you probably know from earlier posts, he can't resist someone in a tight skirt or pants, or someone who likes to expose cleavage.  That habit is one that really bothers me and makes me feel insecure.  Consequently, it has resulted in one of our hard and fast rules:  If he does it, he will be punished.  Twice, early in the week, I observed him ogling.  After the second time, I warned him that the next time would result in a serious punishment spanking. 

On Sunday, when we stopped for lunch at a lovely cafe, he did it again.  We were seated in a way that I was looking out the window over a small lake, and Barry was looking into the restaurant.  Two of the waitresses were quite young and lovely, and were wearing tight skirts and blouses.  As I was trying to enjoy the scenery and talk with Barry, it was apparent that his eyes were following their every movement.  When we got up to leave, I commented to him that he has just earned a very serious spanking when we got home.
I suspect he was relieved when I wanted to spend another night away after our hike.  And I don't think he had a clue what was happening when we stopped by the inn to see if there were rooms available.  However, when I learned that we would be the only people staying in the inn, my mind immediately thought of the possibility of giving Barry his much deserved punishment spanking that night in the inn.  I must also confess that it seemed quite exciting to me!

As we explored the five rooms in the inn, I noticed that none of them had a good spanking chair and that all of the beds were quite high, which is also not conducive to a comfortable spanking position for me.  However, one had a delightful padded bench at the foot of the bed, designed to serve as a luggage rack.  It would be perfect to sit on and take Barry over my lap.  Having selected that room we returned to the first floor to make arrangements with our host.  A few conversational questions helped me learn that she and her husband live alone on the third floor, so I could conclude that they would be the only other people in the inn that night.

When we went into the inn, we were greeted by a lovely woman about my age with a delightful British accent.  She and I immediately made a connection, especially when she commented that we were the first possible guests that night.  She suggested that we take a tour of the available five rooms and let her know which one we would like to choose.

We walked to a nearby restaurant for a light supper.  While we were eating, I shared my plans with Barry.  I did not like the idea of receiving a punishment spanking in the inn.  However, his pleas for a delay until we got home fell on deaf ears.  I was clearly feeling excited about doing it.  When we returned to the inn, I checked the parking lot to make sure there were no other cars of new guests.  Seeing none, I told Barry to get a shower and report to me completely nude.  I also told him to be quick about it.  A short time later, he appeared from the bathroom and, much to my surprise, he was sporting a partial erection.  I told him we were going to have to get rid of that and sent him to the bathroom for our Sonicare toothbrush with his brushing head and the sash from my robe.  After using the sash to bind Barry's hands behind his back, I then used the brush on the head of his penis to quickly bring him to orgasm, but stopping as soon as he started to spurt.  Using the toothbrush in that fashion is a combination of pleasure and pain for him due to the senstivity of his penis head, so it was not a very pleasurable orgasm for him.

After making him clean up his mess, I took him over my lap with his hand still bound.  The bench was long enough to hold his upper torso, so I made sure we were both in a comfortable position before I started the spanking.  Barry knew I had brought my wooden hairbrush, but he didn't realize I had packed the nylon rice paddle that he hates.  I started out with the brush and spanked firmly and uniformly over his entire bottom.  It was not really a warm-up, but it also wasn't full force.  He was squirming and and clearly wanting me to stop before I picked up the rice paddle.  As he asked me to stop and promised to be good, I advised him that I was just getting started.  I was really tired of the repeat performances of bad behaviour in restauants.  When I started with the rice paddle, I increased the force of each spank significantly.  I also worked on one check at a time.  It didn't take long for him to be hollering and begging for me to stop.  I became a little concerned about how much noise he was making and made him get up and bring a pair of my panties from my suitcase, which I rolled up and stuffed in his mouth.  I then proceeded to thoroughly paddle both cheeks and the upper part of this thighs just below his bottom.  By then he was really pleading, albeit it significantly muffled by the panties.  When I finally let him up, it was clear that he was a very contrite husband.

The surprise of this adventure came the next morning when we went downstairs for breakfast.  As our English hostess seated us in the dining room, she nonchalantly commently that she suspects someone will be sitting very gingerly today!  Barry immediately turned crimson and I even felt my cheeks beginning to flush.  Barry was silent, so I expressed an apology for making too much noise last night.  She quickly told me not to think anything about it.  She then turned to Barry and advised him to not be embarrassed and added that her husband also gets spanked on a regular basis when he misbehaves.  She also added that Barry must have been quite naughty based on the severity of what she heard him receiving.

After we finished breakfast, I sent Barry to the room to pack things up.  I then stayed to have a short conversation with our hostess.  I wanted to make sure she wasn't upset with what I had done in the inn.  She was fine with it, since there were not other guests.  It also gave us a chance to compare some notes, which was very interesting, and should probably be left for another post.

Susan

Solving Barry's Premature Ejaculation Problem

A couple of posts ago, I shared that since I have been keeping Barry in chastity for longer periods of time, he as been experiencing some premature ejaculation issues.  Since I love a vaginal climax, this has been most frustrating for me.  I'd like to express my appreciation to those who have offered some suggestions, esepcially Harry Haversackers and Anonymous.

Like Harry's wife, giving up on chastity control is not an option.  We tried Ambersol but, like Harry, we found it difficult to figure out the timing of administration and amount to use.  It added another level of frustration, which I couldn't deal with.  We have also begun to explore some sort of penis extension for Barry.  I have found one or two that I am considering purchasing.  "Anonymous" spoke of a unit that would fit on a CB6000 (which we have, but doesn't work well as a chastity device for Barry).  However, we can't seem to find the extension attachment that he talked about.  So, I would be greatly appreciative if "Anonymous" can provide some more specifics.  It sounds like a good solution.

We also discovered another possible solution this past week.  Barry had a birthday, so I decided to remove his chastity device prior to our dinner that night.  I prepared his favorite dish (sirloin tips) and we enjoyed a wonderful relaxed evening before retreating to the bedroom.  When we began our amorous activities, I found that I was able to ride Barry to a wonderful vaginal climax before I began to provide him with his favorite form of stimulation (oral).  Even when we moved into that, he seemed to be able to exhibit significant control.  At this point, I don't know if his success was due to being out of the device for a few hours before we moved into our sexual activity or if two glasses of wine during dinner played some sort of role.  However, we will continue to explore.

I am also still intrigued about finding a penis extension similar to what "Anonymous" described.  As I have previously shared, Barry's penis is on the small side.  However, I have always been very satisfied with it.  He has always pleased me vaginally.  But .... the thoughts of feeling something bigger are intriguing :-).  Perhaps the comments from Susanne at "All Mine" about her lover's Trophy Cock are influencing me.  I don't know.  But it would be nice to see what something bigger feels like, and the only way that will happen is if Barry gets an extension.  Althought I enjoy Susanne's blog, taking a lover is really way outside my comfort zone.

Susan

PS  Barry and I are leaving on vacation tomorrow morning for 10 days.  That will give us a good time to explore ways to get him to relax after he is out of chastity, which may help us figure out a way to easily solve the problem.  I will also look forward to hearing more about recommended extensions.

What Kind of FLR is This?

Before I begin the heart of this post, I would first like to thank each of you who left comments to my last post.  They trigger lots of thoughts, which I will be trying to address in my next few posts, assuming I don't get distracted onto something else :-).

The thoughts from "ahumanishere" got me thinking about whether or not I view my self as a HOH and if Barry and I have a typical (whatever that means) FLR.  I have given lots of thought to that over the past few days.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't expect to be the HOH with respect to all things.  Barry and I have been married for many years and have always worked together as a team in making decisions.  That is not going to go away.  However, our relationship has definitely changed since I started spanking him, especially with respect to many aspects of sex and lovemaking. 

However, I don't view myself as the HOH.  But .... I do feel like I have taken over the leadership and responsibility for our sex life and lovemaking.  And, I like that.
Prior to learning that Barry has a spanking fetish, our sex life and lovemaking was pure vanilla and it was controlled primarily by Barry.  I have to admit that I essentially defaulted my responsibility and leadership to him.  For all those years, we didn't do much more than missionary position with respect to sex.  Much of the reason for that was because I wasn't very responsive to trying new things.
However, after the spanking revelation I started sitting with Barry as he surfed the internet.  My eyes were opened to many things that I never knew existed.  Somehow I gathered the courage to try some of them, and I discovered a very latent and hidden sex drive.  To say that it surprised me would be a huge understatement.  In reality, it shocked both Barry and me.

I now love having control of our sexual activities.  I have had more orgasms in the past year than I did in all of our previous years of marriage.  It excites me to be able to tease Barry and control when and how he orgasms.  I love putting him in his chastity device and then seeing how excited he is to have it removed.  I also love being able to control what positions we use for penetration and cunnilingus to insure that Barry completely pleases me. 

Barry also seems much more satisfied.  There are some latent sexual needs that he has brought forth that he could never find a way to previously share with me (we both had that challenge).  He also seems perfectly happy to let me control things in the bedroom, including his chastity, his wearing panties, and his not always knowing how or if he will orgasm, etc.
Sooooo, I can't say that I am, or want to be, the HOH.  However, we definitely have a FLR with respect to our sex life.  I guess what I am pleased about is the fact that it seems to work for us at this time.  I am also very appreciative of the comments from "ahumanishere.  They helped me think through where Barry and I are and understand it.

Susan

Learning as We Go

During the past week, I finally realized that Barry and I needed to have a serious discussion and that he needed to make some significant changes with respect to his performance in the bedroom.  Since we became more active again during the past month or so, and since I have been using his chastity device to keep him from self-pleasuring, his ability to provide me with the physical pleasure I crave and need has significantly diminished.  When we first started this new way of life over a year ago, we were each striving for ways to please each other.  It was wonderful!  I love finding new ways to tease and please him, but I also need to be fulfilled.  And, recently that has not been happening very often.

During the past month,his suggestions for new things to do together always seemed to focus on his pleasure.  To make matters worse, since he has been in chastity, he is very quickly arroused and reaches an orgasm much too quickly to meet my needs.  Gone are the days when I can ride him and control his ability to orgasm to meet my needs.  Consequently, we seem to be back to the days of a quick love-making session which leaves him fulfulled and me frustrated.

Because of all of this, I've been exploring new blogs on my own.  In the past I only did this while monitoring Barry.  I now realize that most of what I had been reading with him was written from the male perspective.  I really didn't take enough time to explore things on my own.  I recently discovered  suzanne-allmine.blogspot.com, which is written by a woman about my age who has clearly taken charge of her own sexual needs.  She is married to a younger submissive man, but also has a lover who possesses what she refers to as a "Trophy Cock" (TC).  Both men are bisexual, which makes things even more confusing to me.  Her relationship is not what I am seekeing.  However, what I have learned from reading her blog is that she has taken charge of things and makes sure her needs are met.  She has helped me realize that I need to find a way to do the same thing in a way that makes sense for me.

I now realize that I made the mistake of constantly trying to please Barry, assuming that he would do the same for me.  At times he did.  However, I am slowly learning that men don't always do that. So, I am now determined to really take control.  I want to continue to please my #1 guy, but also make sure he pleases me.

So, Barry and I had a significant 'heart to heart' talk last night.  I think he understood my needs and concerns.  Most importantly, he agreed to what I proposed, which was the following:

• I will be in charge of our sexual relationship
• His responsibility is to insure that I am sexually pleased
• His sexual pleasure will only occur after I am appropriately satisfied
• We will each strive to find new ways to pleasure each other
• He will wear his chastity device whenever I want him to do so
• We will continue to openly discuss our sexual needs and strive to find ways to mutually meet them
• We each will strive to getting to a point where we can orgasm together, but that will take more work and discussion.

After our discussion and agreement, I locked Barry in his chastity device.  I shared with him that he will not be released from it until he provides me with an orgasm.  When that occurs, he will be released and I will make sure he achieves orgasm. 

Susan

Back in Chastity Control

Things were going quite well last week as Barry and I found more time together.  Quite well, that is, until Barry decided to break one our major rules.  I returned home early from a shopping expedition to find Barry surfing porn sites on the computer.  He wasn't masturbating, but it was clear that he was thoroughly arroused, so I was sure that it would have just been a matter of time before he provided himself with some pleasure.  Ever since we started our journey together, Barry has understood that I don't mind him looking a porn, as long as I am by his side and that I am the one who provides his pleasure.

I was quite upset and made it clear that he was going to be punished that evening.  I haven't punished Barry in several months, so I could tell that he was a bit taken back by my announcement.  After we cleaned up the kitchen from dinner, I suggested that Barry go take a shower and that I would join him to provide his weekly shaving.  When I joined him in the shower, he quickly became arroused and remained in that state throughout the shaving procedure.  As I helped him dry off, I told him it was time for his punishment.  I told him to remain naked and meet me at our computer.  Five minutes later, I joined him with an old neck tie to bind his hands, along with our electric vibrator and wooden bathbrush.  Boy did his eyes grow wide!

After binding his hands behind his back, we both sat in front of the computer and I brought up the browser history to see what sites Barry and visited earlier that day.  We then explored them together as I made him guide me to the specific links he had explored.  They were quite interesting and one video caused him to become highly arroused.  It involved a man tied face down on a table which had a hole for his genitals to protrude through, where they were accessible from below.  An attractive woman wearing a red mask first spanked him a bit and then thoroughly teased him from below for a lengthy time before bringing him to a climax.  The amazing part was that after he had his orgasm, she continued to stimulate him.  It appeared to be quite painful yet exciting to him.  Barry also couldn't hide his excitement as we watched it.  I tried to get him to explain why it was so exciting and he couldn't provide any details other than it just was.  I decided to play it again.  As he watched it I tried to mimic what woman was doing, bringing him to a high level of excitement and then backing off multiple times.  After I caused him to orgasm, I also then continued to stroke his penis and massage its head.  Even though his hands were tied, Barry couldn't sit still as I did it.  It was really driving him crazy.  He seemed to love it and hate it at the same time. 
After I was done, I told Barry it was time for his punishment spanking.  I left his hands tied behind his back and took him to the sofa where I took him over my lap and gave him a thorough spanking with the bathbrush.  It is his most hated spanking implement and I hated to spank him as hard as I did.  However, I wanted him to fully understand that surfing porn without me present was completely unacceptable.  By the time I was done, I had his complete attention and he was begging and pleading for me to stop as he promised he would never do it again.  After hugging and kissing him, and telling him how much I loved him, Barry completely surprised me.  He suggested that perhaps I should keep him in his chastity device on a regular basis when he was unsupervised to help him behave.

So, since Saturday night, Barry is now wearing his device whenever I am not with him.  That means wearing it to work everyday (which I don't think he anticipated), as well as anytime that either of us leaves the house without the other.  Our new procedure has created some interesting dynamics as I secure him each morning and release him when he comes home from work.  He is definitely much hornier (which I didn't think could be possible) every night after being locked up all day.  He attributes it to the fact that the presence of the chastity device makes him constantly aware of his penis.


Susan

Finding Time for Each Other Again

I am very embarrassed to realize that it has been over two months since I last posted.  I don't know how it happened, but life became really busy for both Barry and me.  Because of that we stopped taking the time for each other and the things we enjoy.  That was a huge mistake and we are working on rectifying the situation.  I will share more about that in this post, but let me first provide a quick update on Barry's diet.  Even through the hecticness of our lives the past two months, Barry stayed focused on losing weight and has now lost 30 pounds.  He is the most amazing person I have ever known when it comes to staying on a diet.  He looks fantastic and has much more energy.  His weight loss also made me realize that when a man loses weight, it includes the fat in the pubic area, which causes the penis to show more and look bigger .... a benefit that I am enjoying :-).

Friday night of 4th of July weekend, I had a wake up call with respect to how busy Barry and I had become and what it was doing to us.  I discovered that he was masturbating  to the computer again!  A sad part of it was that it had been going on for a couple of weeks and I hadn't realized that we weren't paying enough attention to each other.  I was upset with myself for letting things get to that point, but I was even more upset that Barry reverted to masturbation rather than sharing with me that he needed more attention in bed.  I realized that I needed to take control again, which I did the next day.

On Saturday I informed Barry that I was going to take charge of our love life again, and that I was going to begin by placing him in his chastity device for one week as punishment for masturbating and not sharing his sexual needs with me.  In our hecticness the past two months I had also stopped shaving him, so Saturday night I took him into the shower and made sure he was completely smooth from his waist to mid-thigh.  I loved the fact that he was fully arroused the whole time I was shaving him.  When I was done, I locked him in his chastity device and then took him into the bedroom for a spanking that was hard enough to let him know I was in charge, but also loving enough to keep him arroused.  That is something he doesn't really enjoy when he is locked up.  During the spanking I let him know that he could expect to be kept in his device for one week and that he could expect a spanking every night.  I also shared that he would be well rewarded the following Saturday night when I let him out of his cage.

During the week I did my best to arrouse him every chance I had.  I dressed in provocative clothing whenever we were alone and wore his favorite lingerie to bed.  I made him sleep au naturel, so I could have easy access to teasing his testicle whenever I awoke in the middle of the night.  Every couple of days I removed his device for a couple of hours in the evening, during which time I made sure to tease him.  About midweek I started giving him hints about the reward he would experience on Saturday night.  I told him that it would be one of the fantasies that he has shared with me.  He didn't know it until Saturday, but the fantasy I chose was his desire to be teased and fulfilled unmercifully for as many times as his manhood could perform.

When  Saturday finally arrived, he was almost beside himself with desire.  And, so was I.  I could hardly wait to have my way with him.  I let him out of his device before we went out to dinner.  However, I made sure he was wearing the remote controlled vibrating cock ring underneath a pair of panties.  I was dressed in the bra, panty, and garter set that I know he loves and wearing a tight skirt and sheer white blouse.  Needless to say, I had his attention all through dinner.

When we arrived home I took him to the bedroom where I slowly undressed him and then tied him spreadeagled on his back to our four poster bed.  I then started to slowly tease him as I undressed and prepared all of the toys that I planned to use.  I'm not going to share all of the details, but three hours later after having been teased and brought to orgasm four times using various techniques, he was finally completely spent.  I think I have his attention again, and I don't plan to lose it again so easily.

Modified Weight Plan

I would like to share a special "thank you" to those who provided feedback concerning Barry's weight loss plan.  Barry and I talked again last night and we made some significant modifications.  Before I share them, I would also like to emphasize that the initial goal structure was based on what Barry told me he could and wanted to achieve.  However, when he asked to renegotiate, I took it very seriously, even though he had met his goal for two weeks in a row.  Your comments confirmed the wisdom of making some changes.

So, here is what Barry and I came up with for the remainder of his diet:

Goal - 2 lbs. per week

Tool to Keep Focused -

• Receive one hard swat with the large bath brush on Sunday night for every pound left to lose to achieve a total weight loss of 20 lbs.
• Wear panties to work each day

What Happens if Goal is Not Met -

• No sexual gratification until a week's goal is met, which means no attention from me and wearing Exobelt except when I allow it to be removed in my presence
• Wearing red control panties everyday until a week's goal is met
• Receiving a spanking consisting of 40 hard swats with the large bathbrush every night until a week's goal is met

Reward if Weight Loss is 2.5 lbs or more in a week

• Receive some form of sexual pleasure from me every night during the coming week, the specific pleasure to be determined by me

Barry seems very pleased with this new agreement.  I am too, because I think it will keep him focused and successful. 

Thanks again to all of the serious suggestions you provided.

Susan

Renegotiating Barry's Weight Program?

Barry met his goal again last week -- just!  But that is what counts.  He has now lost 6.2 lbs. of his 20 lb. goal.  As a result he is requesting that we renegotiate the conditions of his weight loss program.  He would like to lower the required amount of loss to 2.5 lbs. per week.  I am not adverse to that, since I realize that 3 lbs. per week is a significant challenge and he has worked very hard to meet it the first two weeks.  That has helped him significantly change his eating habits.

However, I'm considering whether or not in increase the penalty for failure if I lower the amount of required weight loss.  That seems like a fair trade-off, since his risk of failure will be lower.  It will also make sure he doesn't slack off.

So, I've told Barry I will consider such an approach and let him know by Wednesday night.  I also told him I would be asking our readers for their thoughts and input.

What do you think?
Susan

First Week's Results

Sunday was the first "weigh in" day for Barry.  The official event occurred shortly after we awoke.  Much to his pleasure, he lost 3.2 lbs!  Needless to say he was thrilled and I was very proud of him.  So, he is enjoying sexual pleasure every night this week and will receive a special treat one night.  The actual night and details are still to be determined.  He is also now out of his Exobelt for the week, but is still wearing his red control panties every day as a constant reminder of his goal.  He readily admits that they help him stay on the diet during the day at work.

He and I both know that the first week is usually the week of greatest weight loss, but I am very impressed with his focus at this time.  I wish I had his discipline when I need to diet :-)

Susan

Modification to Barry's Diet Plan

Last night as Barry and I were making love, it dawned on me that sex would be a very powerful motivational tool.  Interestingly, this morning when I checked this blog, I saw a comment from Harry to last night's post in which he suggests sex as a more positive reinforcement tool.  Consequently, I decided to add the following rules to Barry's Diet Plan.  They include both positive and negative aspects.

At each weekly weigh in,

• if Barry has met his goal of losing three pounds for the week, I will then provide him with sexual gratification every night during the coming week;
• if Barry exceeds his goal, I will also give him some form of special sexual treat one time during the coming week;
• if Barry fails to meet his goal, he will be celibate for the week, which will include being locked in his Exobelt whenever he is not with me (which will mean wearing it to work each day, which he hates). 

I'm hoping he at least meets his goal every week :-).

Thank you Harry for the feedback.

Susan

Barry's Diet

Barry had his annual physical last week and his doctor had a discussion with him about his weight.  He is not significantly overweight, but over the past few years, he has gained 3 to 7 pounds per year (with the last two years being 6 and 7.  His doctor is not concerned about his current weight, but he did share his concern that if the trend continues, ten years from now Barry will be almost 100 pounds overweight.  That got Barry's (and my) attention!

Being a loving wife who cares about my husband's health, I decided to help Barry lose the 15-20 pounds of extra weight and establish a healthier eating routine for the long term.  Last night he agreed to the following motivational plan.

Goal:  Lose 20 pounds at a rate of 3 pounds per week

This morning was Barry's first official weigh in.  I will now weigh him every seventh day.  If he loses 3 pounds from the previous weigh in, there is no penalty.  However, if he has not lost 3 pounds, he will be spanked every night until the next weekly weigh in.  The spankings will consist of 2 hard strokes with our heavy wooden bath brush (which Barry hates) for every pound he still has to lose. 

To insure that he understands the significance of losing 3 pounds per week and to give him significant motivation as he begins this program, he will be spanked each night during this first week.  I suspect that 40 with the bath brush will motivate him to watch his intake tomorrow.

For added motivation and to make sure he is constantly aware of his need to lose weight, he will also wear his red control punishment panties every day until he achieves his goal (I will go buy him two new pair tomorrow, so that we don't have to wash them every night).

I will also help him with what we have at home for breakfast and dinner and have healthy options from which he can take his lunch to work, instead of eating out each day (which has become his habit the past few years).

Of course, we will keep you posted as to how he is doing :-).

Susan

Losing my Cherry, So to Speak

Susan has been encouraging me (well, actually pushing me) to share my thoughts about our entry into the world of strap-on play. I resisted at first, but am now willing to share some more details, as well as my reaction to it.

For quite some time I have been very intrigued and arroused by photos of women wearing a strap-on, especially those in which the woman appears curious, kind, and funloving about it. I am not drawn to those that are more harsh, domineering, or cruel. So, I was quite excited when Susan told me about her plans for my special treat. I can't say I liked the idea of being in my cage and wearing lingerie all day at work. I am still afraid of someone discovering that little secret in the office. But, I obviously complied with her directions and they had the effect she desired on me - keeping my attention focused on what would happen that evening. I am constantly aware of my cage when I am in it. I am also constantly aware of the different feel of my trousers when they are worn over panties and stockings. They slide over my legs and my legs feel much more confined. So, I was constantly reminded all day of what would happen that night.

On the way home from work, I stopped at a Rite Aid to pick up a few things. At the risk of earning a spanking, I will share that Susan doesn't usually think of all the details for some of her little plans. I wanted to make sure that the details were provided for, so I purchased a Fleet enema, some condoms, and a large tube of KY jelly. I was sure that making sure my lower part was fully evacuated and the use of a condom would make things much more pleasant and easier to clean up for both of us. I also wanted to be sure she had plenty of lube!

When I arrived home, she saw the bag and asked what I had bought. She was a little upset with me for not relying on her. She acknowledged that she hadn't thought about the enema or the condoms. But she also told me that I had earned a spanking for my actions. It was not a punishment level spanking, but it was also not quite the erotic spanking she alluded to in her post.

After using the Fleet and showering, I arrived in the bedroom and dressed the was she directed. I was then required to lay over a pillow on the bed, so she could sit on the small of my back and spank me in a manner you see in this photo. I love to be spanked like that (except when it is true punishment). She worked all areas of my bottom quite well and I knew I had been spanked when she was done. But, I was also pretty erect throughout the whole process. When she was done she made me kneel in front of her and use my mouth on the strap-on. I resisted at first. But, when I realized I could hold her beautiful bottom in my hands while doing so, it became a very erotic experience for me.

She then decided it was time to take my cherry, so to speak. She was kind and asked how I wanted it. I asked her to take me from behind. But, I found I didn't like that very much. I didn't like not being able to see her. She then had me lie on my back at the edge of the bed and raise my legs. She stood and was at a perfect level. I confess that I loved it! I could watch her and she could watch me. She also had easy access to stimulate and tease me. Of course I loved that.

The entire experience is puzzling to me. It was different than I expected. But, very pleasant and erotic. Susan asked me if I have any "bi" thoughts, and I don't. If I was asked to do those things with a man, I would be completely repulsed. But, watching Susan's face and smile as she lubed up and gently pentetrated me was very erotic. I know I'm not doing a very good job of explaining. But, it is the best I can offer at this time.

Barry

Barry's Treat for Posting

This post is one that I had to put aside after composing it to see if I was really brave enough to share the details of Friday, April 1 with everyone.  I have decided that I will do so, but with some hesitation due to it involving a completely new activity for Barry and me.  And, "no", it was not an April Fools joke for either of us.

Back in January, I offered Barry an incentive to actively participate in this blog with me.  If he didn't post at least one time in a month, he would be punished.  However, if he posted three or more times in a month, he would receive a special sexual treat as a reward.  Realizing that Barry might achieve three posts in a month, I began thinking about what types of treats I would offer him.  I decided that it should be something very special to him, in order to provide continued incentive.  I also decided that it would be good for the first one to involve something completely new for us.

Barry has always had strap-on play as a high priority.  However, it has not been high on my list.  I guess I haven't been able to fully understand why it interests him., especially since he has no gay interests or tendencies whatsoever.  So, I decided to research it, which I did.  It seems like many men enjoy it, so I decided to take on the challenge.  I also researched strap-on tools and purchased a quality harness and realistic looking dildo of a modest size (Doc Johnson Vac-u-Lock).

That all happened in February, unbeknownst to Barry.  I decided to keep it a secret.  He didn't post three times in February, so they stayed hidden in my dresser.  However, in March, Barry posted four times.  Post number three was not a good one, so I told Barry that it didn't count.  However, he redeemed himself with the fourth post of the month.  Hence, Friday, April 1 seemed like a good time to give Barry his reward.

When we went to bed on March 31, I told Barry that I wanted some time with him in the morning, so suggested we set our alarm a half hour earlier than usual.  When we awoke, I told him I would meet him in the shower.  When I joined him there, I let him know that I was going to make sure his genitals and bottom were very clean shaven and smooth  for a special treat he would receive that night in honor of his four posts in March.  I also told him that he would be sent to work with his Ecobelt locked in place and wearing panties, to help him fully anticipate what a special night it would be.  He began to protest, telling me that he couldn't deal with wearing the chastity device and panties because he had two high level meetings that day.  That just increased my resolve to have him go to work that way because I new he would be self-conscious of  himself even more.  So, I told him that since he would be in formal meetings, we would be more formal with his lingerie.  When we finished in the shower, I put out a pair of burgundy full cover satin panties along with a black garter belt and gun metal grey stockings.  Needless to say, he was not happy, but I thought he looked wonderful in them :-).

While I shaved him in the shower, I paid extra attention to shaving his bottom, especially in his bottom cleavage and all around his anus.  He noticed that extra attention and when we finished, he looked at me expectantly and asked "Are you planning to peg me tonight?"  I don't know what prompted be to respond as I did, because I never talk like this to Barry, even in the bedroom.  However, I looked him straight in the eyes and said essentially, "Oh no darling.  I thing 'peg' is a very cold and mechanical term.  Tonight I plan to fuck you."

The look on his face was priceless.  I'm not sure whether my language shocked him, or the reality of what I told him I planned to do.  But his expression and his guttural/primal groan both expressed a combination of desire and fear.  I must confess that I loved the reaction, and I knew we would have fun that evening.

When Barry arrived home Friday evening, I was dressed in a manner which he finds very arousing:  shelf bra under a white fitted blouse, garter belt, stockings, panties under a black skirt.  I usually wear a very tight fitting skirt, but this night I chose one with a bit more room, because I was also wearing my strap-on.  The skirt was not lose enough to conceal the strap-on, but at least it minimized its presence.  Barry noticed it the moment he walked in the door, and again emitted the same low guttural groan.  Of course, I drew the evening out:  making sure we took time to enjoy a glass of wine before dinner, followed by leisurely dining.  He was begging me to remove his Ecobelt from the time he got home, but I decided it would be better to keep him under lock and key a bit longer.

After dinner, I sent Barry to take a shower while I cleaned up the table and kitchen.  I told him that I would meet him in the bedroom and I expected to see him dressed again in the garter belt, stockings, and panties.  About a half hour later I entered the bedroom and found him dressed as I asked and, of course, still locked in chastity.  I eventually removed the device, but not before teasing him a bit as I removed my skirt and blouse and applied our vibrator to the outside of his device.  I then unlocked him, and from the looks of the inside of the device and his genitals, it was pretty obvious that he had been aroused much of the day.  I couldn't help but smile.

I'm not really willing to go into the details of what we did the rest of the evening.  That gets a bit too personal with respect to what I am willing to share.  However, I will share that it was a wonderful new experience for both of us.  I will also say that it involved some wonderful erotic spanking of Barry, along with introducing him to experiencing my strap-on in multiple ways and positions.  He thoroughly enjoyed it, which also made it a very sensual experience for me.

We continue to grow.

Apology

I would like to publicly apologize to Susan and her readers for my behavior and my deceptive post last weekend. Susan has not required me to post this apology. I am doing this because I want to.

She was very upset with me Sunday night for two reasons. One was that my post was not honest. She is very big on truthfulness, as we all should be. She did not like the fact that I inaccurately conveyed how much time I had spent surfing porn on the internet, especially when it is the first time she has allowed me to do so without her being present. She was even more upset when she saw the sites I had been exploring. They were sites that include activities which are somewhat degrading and she never lets me visit them when we are together. She was very disappointed that I took advantage of the freedom she gave me.

I am very thankful that Susan has accepted and experimented with so many of the activities that I had fantasized about for years. I realize that I am a very lucky man. And I know I let her down by viewing sites that contain activities that she has clearly told me that she will never participate in.

I also realize that I got off with a rather light punishment Sunday evening. I am very appreciative of that. However, I have been warned what will happen if I ever post something that is not truthful again, or if I view the forbidden websites. Susan has made it very clear that I will receive what she likes to call her 'ultimate spanking'. This includes being brought to orgasm with her vibrator prior to being spanked with two of the implements I hate most (the wooden bath brush and the rice paddle). Two things that I have learned about Susan during our wonderful marriage is that she doesn't make idle threats and she doesn't forget. I have also learned that I don't ever want to receive her 'ultimate punishment' again. She has only done that to me two times. I should have learned my lesson after the first time. But, I was stupid enough to make her mad enough to use it a second time. That was several months ago, but the memory is still strong enough for me to make sure there is not a third time.

Thank you Susan for being a wonderful wife and lover. And, thank you for helping me be a better person.

Barry

Barry's Deceptive Post

As you know, I kept Barry locked up this past weekend.  In fact, he is still in his device.  When I arrived home last evening, he was quite pleased with himself for having posted to the blog and quickly advised me that it was his third post this month, which qualifies him for a special sexual treat (which was a deal I made with him earlier in the year to encourage him to post).  After reading his post, I also decided to take a look at the temporary internet files and cookies, which revealed that he had spent a consderable amount of time surfing porn sites.  That seemed to be quite different from what he conveyed in his post to all of you, so I was quite upset with his deception.  Consequently, I decided that there would be no special treat for him last night, but instead he would remain locked until at least this evening; and he received a pretty good spanking as punishment.

Since this was the longest he has been kept in the Exobelt, I also decided that I wanted to take a look at it and make sure there were no problems, especially with cleanliness.  I took him into our walkin shower so that I could use the handheld shower head to give him a good cleaning.  It seemed to work quite well, along with some shampoo.  However, it wasn't a pleasant experience for Barry, since he was prevented from becoming erect.  After the shower is when I took him over my lap on the bed for a good dose of our wooden ruler.  Needless to say, I got his attention pretty quickly and held it for quite some time.  It wasn't a severe punishment spanking, but it was the hardest spanking he has received for a couple of months.

Today, I sent him off to work wearing the Exobelt and a pair of panties.  I wanted to make sure he would think about what he did all day long.  I can't wait until he arrives home because I know he will be dying to get free.  I'm also dying to have him, but I think he deserves to be teased a bit more for being so deceptive.  So, I'm still thinking about when and how to release him, and what I want to do with him.

Susan

Locked Up for the Weekend

Susan had a busy weekend planned, which would leave me unattended for some lengthy periods of time. That gave her the idea to lock me up again this weekend. But this time it has been different. First, she decided to lock me up Friday morning, so it was the first time I have had to wear the device to work. That created some issues that I never anticipated. I was very self-conscious all day, worrying whether anyone could or would notice it under my clothes. That led me to being very aware of my caged cock all day long, which is not a good thing. I survived the day without anyone overtly noticing anything (at least I hope I did). The next thing that was different was Friday night. Susan was tied up until late, so there was no playing or teasing. In fact there has been none of that all weekend. It's been just me and my restricted genitals experiencing frustration and desire. Susan had given me permission to surf the net, knowing that I was securely prevented from masturbating. I tried to enjoy that freedom, but it only led to more frustration. I am now home alone again this afternoon, anxiously awaiting her return. Hopefully, she will have some energy to play tonight and will release me from my prison. I keep hoping that she will be as horney as I am!

Barry

Fantasy vs. Reality

Why do I have such a hard time realizing how big the difference is between fantasy and reality? Why didn't I learn my lesson the first time with Susan when I convinced her that I wanted her to give me punishment spankings? Am I just really dumb, or is this something that most people do? These are questions that are going through my head after last weekend.

As you know, our new chastity device arrived last week. Chastity enforced by my wife is something that I have fantasized for a long time. It has taken me years to even discuss it with her, let alone have her agree to try it. So, I was extremely excited about the fact that I would finally begin to experience it this past weekend. I was so arroused on Friday night that she had extreme difficulty putting the device on me. I had to force myself to relax so my erection would subside enough for it to be clamped around my balls.

Once it was there, reality came into play. Susan has become a master at sexually teasing me, which I love. However, ususally, when she teases me, I eventually get to orgasm. Friday night was different. I pleased her, she teased me. Her teasing resulted in extreme discomfort as my cock tried to expand in its new home. That discomfort caused the arrousal to subside. But, then I was teased some more. And, Friday night, the device didn't come off. I had to go to sleep unfulfilled and very uncomfortable. I didn't sleep much or well. This was not the fantasy I envisioned, but it was the reality of what I asked for.

Saturday was also a very hard day. The device is uncomfortable. It is hard to pee. The literature says you can pee standing or sitting. Well, I tried to pee standing two times. Both resulted in a mess. So, I was reduced to sitting to pee. Again, this was not my fantasy.

Saturday arrived and Susan decided to spank me in an erotic way, which always results in a raging hard on for me. However (and I know you can guess what is coming next), I was restricted, so the pleasure of her spanking only created more discomfort and frustration. The good news is that after the spanking (and a bit more teasing), Susan decided to release me from my device. We then made love that resulted in us each acting like a couple of teenagers. It was fantastic to finally be able to experience a full erection again, especially within her. This was part of my fantasy!

In the end, it was an amazing weekend. Given how much Susan enjoyed it, I know I will be locked up much in the future. However, much of the reality was not part of my fantasy.

Would I go down this pathway again, realizing again how different fantasy is from reality? Saturday afternoon, the answer would have been "no". Today my answer is "maybe" (because Saturday night was so wonderful). Tomorrow or next week, I'd be willing to bet that the resounding answer will be "yes", because fantasy always seems to take over.

Have others had the same experience with fantasy vs. reality? If so, do you keep repeating the ability to ignore reality and act solely on fantasy?

Barry

Our First Chastity Experience

As you know from Barry's post, the Exobelt arrived in time for last weekend, so Friday night we put it to its first use.  Barry needed a shave, so after dinner I took him into the shower and made sure his package was as smooth as a baby's bottom.  We later learned that he was also a little chafed, which he didn't enjoy while locked up.  Actually putting on the device was a bit more difficult than we expected, especially since it is not easy to do with an arroused penis.  However, once Barry became a little less excited, we were able to get him trapped in it, and he looked like he was wearing a high tech cup of sorts :-).  I thought about making him wear a jock strap over it, but decided instead to use a favorite pair of pink nylon panties.

We then moved into the bedroom where I enjoyed teasing him and making sure he pleasured me.  I secured him on his back to the bed with his wrists and ankles tied to the bedposts, as has become a frequent custom.  I must confess that I enjoyed using my mouth and fingers to tease his inner thighs and all around his device.  It was interesting to hear some new sounds I have never heard before as he would get arroused to a point that the device would allow and then begin to feel discomfort and lose arrousal.  The ups and downs were interesting for both of us.

One thing I don't like about putting him in the device is that I lose access to having him in me.  I missed that.  But, at least it lets Barry know that he probably won't be locked up for very long periods of time.  I kept him in the device all night Friday and all day Saturday.  That evening, we played again, including a fun spanking for him while wearing the device, before I let him out so that I could ride him.  And, he was really ready for it.  That made the wait worthwhile for me too.

So, our first experience was good, and I'm now looking forward to more ways to employ this new toy.  I will also feel more secure that I can stop Barry from masturbating when he is out of my sight for lengthy periods of time.

Susan

A Special Anniversary

It has now been one year since Barry and I started our journey of incorporating spanking and other fun into our marriage.  It was not a path that I would have chosen, which is evident by the fact that we were married for almost thirty years before I realized how much it meant to Barry and how important it would be to our marriage.  Twelve months ago, I could have never dreamed of what Barry and I are currently doing now, especially what we did last night with respect to exploring chastity (that needs to be a separate post).  In the last year there have been so many new things that I have explored and enjoyed, that I would have previously completely rejected as being wierd or perverted.  Just to name a few:

• spanking Barry for fun
• administering a punishment spanking to Barry
• allowing Barry to give me an erotic spanking ... and enjoying it
• making and enjoying Barry wear panties
• shaving Barry's genitals
• erotically teasing Barry and actually deciding if, when, and how he will climax
• really enjoying letting Barry orally pleasure me
• erotically teasing Barry in a public place in a way that no one else knew it was happening
• asserting myself with respect to sexuality
• purchasing sexual toys on line
• experimenting with a male chastity device

In addition to feeling amazed, I am also feeling extensive gratitue as I realize how much these activities have enriched our relationship as we move into a new phase of our life with respect to age and activity.

This has been an amazing gift and I will be forever grateful for its impact on our marriage.

Susan

A Possible Chastity Solution

Susan has asked me to share our appreciation for the comments and suggested solutions to our chastity belt challenge. We have tried the CB-6000 short as our first option. Unfortunately, due to my shrinkage capability, I would slide out of it without even trying. When I am not arroused, I shrink significantly and my penis almost disappears. It becomes a small nub, which is very humilitating. Fortunately, it grows significantly when I am arroused, and I am very thankful that Susan has never teased me about its size when shrunken. She actually seems to enjoy making it grow to a useful size, which she also loves having inside her.

Yesterday we received our latest attempt to find something that will be secure. It is the Exobelt V1. I have included two photos below. As you can see, it attempts to provide a covering of the scrotum and penis which is held tightly against the lower abdomen by clamping tightly to the scrotum and testicles. It looks quite uncomfortable to me and I am beginning to wonder why I ever encouraged Susan to pursue this bit of fantasy with me. We played around with it a bit last night to figure out which spacers to use and it is going to be quite snug and confining. It also seems like it may be secure.

Susan has decided that since I am due for a shaving tonight, she will put it in place at that time and my initial lock up period will be at least 24 hours. Since Susan usually likes to tease and play with me after shaving, I am a bit concerned. This thing doesn't look like it has much room for any expansion due to arrousal. I hadn't thought about that aspect of being locked up!

Barry

Chastity Challenge

I must apologize for not posting for so long.  Extended family issues arose that were a bit distracting to Barry and me for part of the time.  And, if I'm honest, I've been procrastinating about whether to actually publish this particular post.  Barry and I each have had mixed feelings about sharing this topic, but we have finally agreed to do so.  Also, at least Barry managed to post in early February, thus avoiding his promised punishment if he does do so each month.

In my last post I shared with you that we had decided to purchase some 'non-pervertible' type toys, which was a huge step for us.  One of the items was a chastity device for Barry.  One of his many kinky fantasies has always been to have me control him.  I have been hesitant to go there, but finally agreed, especially after learning that Barry had been masturbating when away from home.

However, we have run into a challenge and this is the part that has been hard to decide to share.  The first device we bought was a complete failure because we failed to take into consideration some aspects of Barry's penis - It is a shrinker.  When he is arroused, it is a  respectable four inches in length and is capable of providing all the pleasure we each desire.  However, when he is flacid, it almost shrinks inside his body.  It is typically only an inch or two and very soft, and at times it can almost disappear.  I'm sure you can begin to see the problem.  The device easily slips off when he is flacid.

I have been trying to do some research and have now ordered an Exobelt model, which looks like it will be secure.  It is scheduled to arrive by the end of the week, so we hope to put it to the test over the weekend.

However, if it also fails, I'm wondering if any of my readers have any experience or suggestions in this area.  I see that there are also some metal models that provide a complete shield over the genital area, but they look very uncomfortable.  I don't plan to keep Barry in it for long periods of time, but we do want to lock him up for time periods when I can not adequately supervise him.

Any experience or advise would be appreciated.

Susan

Barry's Involvement

I am thrilled with Barry's willingness to join me in this blog.  I hope you have enjoyed his first two posts. Each of them were a complete surprise to me, and were written and posted without my review.  I must share that we were sitting together a few moments ago when we read a comment about whether I tortured him or punished him when I was upset.  He immediately logged in and replied without even asking me what I thought.  I must confess that I was very moved by his defensiveness.

I also need to share my perspective.  I could never torture anyone.  It is very difficult for me to administer a punishment spanking to Barry.  However, I have come to realize that he sometimes needs and wants to receive one.  Is it painful to him?  YES  Does he want it?  YES  Would I stop if I thought he really wanted me to do so?  ABSOLUTELY YES.  I think Barry expressed it best when he said that everything we do is consensual.  That is why I also allow him to erotically spank me.

Susan

PS ... Barry asked an interesting question about whether a response to a comment should be considered a "Post" with respect to earning a reward or being punished.  I have mixed emotions. What do the readers of this blog think?

Where is the Dom/sub Dynamic

The first comment I received from my initial post contained the following two questions:


- You spank each other?
- Where is the dom sub dynamic in this?

I thought they were a good pair of questions, so it will be the topic of this post.

Yes, we do spank each other, but in very different ways. The spankings that Susan allows me to give her are purely erotic and are for enjoyment only. They are light, with my hand, and have lots of rubbing and light touching intermixed. Her bottom colors easily, so it does get pink. But her reactions during these spankings are pleasure and there is never any unwanted pain involved. It is all erotic for her.



Susan spanks me in two very different ways. One we call "Fun" spankings and the other we call "Punishment". I enjoy the first type, even though it often contains some pretty hard spanking and a significant level of pain. She starts them with a warm-up period, which allows me to enjoy them more. I can then tolerate a fair amount and I am usually still arroused at the end of the "Fun" spankings.

The "Punishment" spankings are a very different matter. When she punishes, Susan means business. I may begin in a state of arrousal, but she doesnt provide any warm-up. Because of that it normally only takes 10 to 12 hard swats before my arrousal twindles. When she is done, I am hanging on for dear life.

As far as the dom/sub dynamic goes, since we began this life style, Susan has taken charge of a number of things in my life:

• I can't surf any porn sites on the PC without her being present.
• I can't masturbate unless she requests me to do so.
• She controls if, when, and how I cum when we have sex. Most times I am on my back on the bed with my hands and feet secured to the bed post. This leaves me completely exposed and submissive to anything she wants to do. It allows her to sexually tease me for long periods of time, afterwhich I may or may not get to cum. It also allows her easy access to present herself for oral pleasure.

I guess our dom/sub dynamic is not the typical one that people who are heavily involved in dominance enjoy. But, Susan exerts a great deal of dominance with respect to our sexual activities. And, I love every minute of it. I wish we had begun doing this many years ago.

The only part I don't enjoy are the heavy punishment spankings. I used to fantasize about them. But I have now learned how different fantasy is from reality. The worst type is when she decides that I must cum before she spanks me. That takes away all sexual feelings and the spankings hurt much more. Fortunately, she has only done that a few times when I really upset her.

I hope this helps explain a bit more about our sexual relationship from my point of view.

Barry

Barry here

Guess it's time for me to begin posting. Don't know what my punishment will be for not posting by today, but I do know that when Susan says punishment, it is never fun. Always not sure where to start, but maybe it should be with a little bit about me.

I've been fascinated with spanking since I was a young boy. Can remember being excited as I watched Danny Thomas spank his daughter on a b&w TV show. Also remember finding ways to work spanking into games I played with young friends. One time I got to spank a young girl (my age at the time) over her cotton panties in the woods.

Porn came into my life during the college years. I was first fascinated with books that included detailed descriptions of m/f and f/m spanking. Later came to love magazines with photographs of the same. Susan and I had always had a very vanilla marriage until recently, so I had to rely on porn and my fantasies. I guess you could say that getting caught by her was the best thing that could have happened to me. Except, I quickly learned that her punishments are very different in reality from fantasy. Am also thrilled that she has allowed me to introduce her to erotic spankings. I love slowly painting her lovely bottom a nice shade of pink as she wiggles and moans on my lap.

I'm not sure what I should be writing about in this blog, so I'm going to ask Susan's readers for suggestions of topics. Let me know in your comments and I'll do my best. Might help me post enough to get a reward next month. That would be nice.

Barry

Life is Better

Barry and I finally feel like we are getting a life back as the situation with his parents has improved.  We actually had time for an evening of fun last night.  Barry had some time on the web (PC Porn Time, as I call it), with me by his side, of course.  We enjoyed exploring some new possibilities for toys and we even decided to be brave and purchase a couple of 'non-pervertible' type items.  "Only Pervertibles" had always been a hard and fast rule for us.  I'll save a description of what we purchased for a later posting after we receive them :-).

We also had an entire evening of bedroom fun as well.  Barry received a firm maintenance spanking, which he thoroughly enjoyed and I received my second erotic spanking, which I loved as much as the first.  Of course, those events led to lots of other pleasure for both of us, after which we slept soundly.

This morning, I reminded Barry of his New Year's resolution to post on this blog.  I also gave him an added incentive:  if he posts at least three times in a calendar month, he earns a special treat in the bedroom;  if he fails to post in a calendar month, he earns a punishment.  I also told him the rules apply for January, so hopefully we'll see a post from him in the next two days.  I have also given him complete freedom with respect to what he posts.  They will not be reviewed by me prior to posting unless Barry asks for my opinion.

It feels good to be back.

Susan

Good News - Bad News

Happy New Year everyone. 

The good news is that Barry and I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's eve.  And, I even convinced Barry to make a New Year's resolution to join me in posting on this blog!  I can't wait to have him share more things from his perspective.

The bad news is that this past week we have been tied up with caring for elderly parents who need almost 24 hour care.  We are working to assure they have the care needed, but there are no easy answers, especially since most of the family lives a long distance away.  It looks like we won't have much energy or free time to post for at least a couple of weeks. 

We'll post as soon as we can ... and hopefully catch up on all of the other blogs we enjoy once things get worked out.

Susan

My First Erotic Spanking

Ever since I started this blog, Barry has periodically talked about his desire to erotically spank me.  He knows I won't accept a punishment spanking from him, but he has wanted to spank me in a very pleasurable way.  I have always declined, but I think he could always tell that their has been some intrigue there for me.  He has also always promised that he will only use his hand lightly; and that all I have to do is say "Stop" if I don't find it enjoyable.  Well, I finally gave in on Saturday evening and received my first erotic spanking.  And ... I absolutely loved it.  I have debated whether I should share this with my readers (and if so, how many details to share); and I finally decided that I need to do so.  To not do so would violate my goal of honestly sharing the journey that Barry and I are experiencing.

The past weekend was planned to be special for Barry and me.  We have always had a tradition of trying to have everything ready for Christmas prior to the last weekend before Christmas, so we can just relax and enjoy time with family and the true meaning of Christmas.  Since our children have lived independently from us, we have established an incentive to achieve this goal by providing a reward for ourselves when we do.  If all preparations are completed, we spend that last weekend staying in a private cottage at a country inn that we both enjoy.  The cottages are never filled that weekend, so we can always make last minute reservations.  Since we have been on our current journey, this weekend has been even more special, since we know we will have a very private playroom where noise from our fun will not be an issue.  And, I don't know why, but 'playing' when we are away from home is always much more erotic and exciting than it is at home.

We did exactly that this past Saturday night.  We spent Saturday enjoying the day as we traveled to the inn. We checked in about 4 PM and made dinner reservations for 7 PM, knowing that we would want some special time to play after dinner.  I had packed two of Barry's favorite spanking toys (our 18" ruler and the paddle ball paddle).  I also packed special lingerie for Barry and I to wear to dinner.

Shortly after six we decided to begin getting ready and ended up in the shower together, which we each always enjoy.  When we emerged we had fun dressing each other.  I helped Barry get into a sexy pair of sheer panties after I placed the remote controlled vibrating ring at the base of his arroused penis and teased him about how much fun it was going to be to keep him arroused during dinner.  He loved helping me with my garter belt and stockings and a matching shelf bra/panty set, before I put on his favorite little black dress.

Dinner was completely enjoyable in a very quiet inn dining room.  I had a lot of fun playing with the remote control and Barry was obviously arroused the entire time.  That also kept me very excited.  We walked back to our cabin about 9 PM and Barry lit a fire in our fireplace, while I turned down the bed, poured us some wine, and laid out a few toys.

After we enjoyed a few sips of wine, I took Barry by the hand and brought him to his feet.  I then began undressing him down to his panties before sitting on the side of the bed and taking him over my lap.  I made sure he was nicely comfortable as I lightly rubbed and teased his bottom and scrotal area.  I then began to gently, but firmly spank him.  I took my time to rub his bottom and sexually tease him in between sets of smacks and the two paddles I had brought.  I wanted him to thoroughly enjoy this spanking.   I must have kept him over my lap for at least a 1/2 hour and by the time I was done I was spanking him quite hard and his bottom was a lovely shade of red.  When spanked in a playful way like that, Barry can take a fairly hard spanking and still stay arroused.  When I had him stand up, I realized that I had made a mistake by not taking off my dress, since Barry is very much an "oozer" when arroused.  However, the cleaning bill will be well worth the fun we had.

Barry then brought me to my feet so that we could hug and kiss a bit, at the end of which he lowered his hands to squeeze my bottom and whispered in my ear "Now it's your turn".  When I started to quietly resist, he said that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer and reminded me that all I had to do was say "Stop" if I didn't enjoy it.  I don't know whether it was the wine, the romantic location with fire, Barry's gentleness and persistance, or a combination of all of that (and maybe some other factors);  but all resistance left me at that moment.  I looked him in the eyes and smiled as I said "Be gentle and make sure I like it, because if I have to say 'stop', it will spoil this evening".

Barry then helped me remove my dress before he sat on the bed and gently drew me over his lap.  He placed a pillow under my head and took time to make sure I was comfortable.  He told me that he wanted to make sure I could just concentrate on what his hands were doing and asked me to just relax in the moment.  His hands began to roam:  his left hand over my panty covered bottom; his right hand on the backs of and between my thighs.  I have to confess that I clearly remember blatantly spreading my legs to give him better access.  He eventually began to lightly spank me with his left hand, while his right hand continued to tease my thighs and above. 

At some point the spanking came from his right hand while his left hand rubbed my back. Also, I vaguely remember feeling him lower my panties to somewhere down my thighs and felt his fingers doing heavenly things while he continued to spank me with the other hand.  Somehow it seemed like he had four hands and they were all doing things that seemed very pleasurable.  I also vaguely remember feeling the pressure of his penis on my belly, so I was cognizant of him be arroused as well. 

Again, it may have been the wine, but I felt completely relaxed and was totally enjoying the moment.  I had no idea how long I was over his lap (he later told me it was almost 45 minutes).  However, I do remember him saying "I'd like to give you ten harder spanks.  Do you think you'd like that?", to which I replied without thinking "Please do".  And he did.  They were somewhat harder and more rapid, but still very pleasant.  Then, I just laid there until Barry began to move me into lovemaking positions.  I'm not going to share those details.  All I need to share is that we had a heavenly time together with no inhibitions; and Barry tells me it was midnight when we stopped. 

I am still trying to understand my reaction to being spanked.  I knew that the thought of being gently spanked was intriguing to me prior to Saturday night.  However, I never expected the intensity of the reaction that I had.  Somehow the sensations of all that Barry was doing with his hands were transmitted to the heart of my sexual being.  I also never dreamed that Barry would know how to spank me in that way.  This was one of those wonderful surprises on our journey.  I don't know where it will lead us at this time.  However, it feels amazingly beautiful.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to each of you.  Our family will be arriving tomorrow and we will be busy for the next two weeks.  May each of you enjoy peace and joy in whatever beliefs or traditions you honor at this time of year.

Susan

PS - I couldn't resist including the above photos from Barry's collection.  Somehow, they seem to capture my mood and what I was feeling on Saturday evening with respect to the erotic spanking.  I only wish I was that young again :-).